Notes:

The day has finally come! I spent 90% of the time allotted for this exchange/secret santa trying to think of what the fuck to make this story about! Of coarse, once I finally think of something, it gets realllly out of hand lmao. So what was meant to be a oneshot is going to be a little series. It will likely have 4-5 chapters and be around 12-15k words. I'm sorry to my giftee for not having something complete (fuck exams and fuck how busy the holiday season is god dammit!) but I promise that this will be much better than some half-assed one shot. The entire story is outlined, so you can be sure this will get done in a reasonable time frame. :) Anyway, hope you and everyone else will enjoy! Love ya'll~

There was a squeal of delight that erupted from a particular Morty's mouth, muffled only by a rather strangely-shaped plush that was in the form of a grinning and familiar scientist, Rick Sanchez. Even as he'd held the plush to his face, he was simply so excited that he could barely contain it. Thoughts of possibilities and fun activities filled his brain as he'd rolled around on his mattress, giggling like a schoolgirl hopped up on sugar. There was an identical boy - the only difference between them being the fact that this other boy was wearing a V-neck shirt and wasn't sporting tons of Rick merchandise - on the bunk below him, very visibly annoyed as he'd banged his head against the pillow below his head. It seemed that Super Rick Fan Morty was keeping his bunkmate awake.

"Oh, geez, Rick Fan! For the love of - ! G - Go the hell to sleep!"

"I - I can't, V-Neck! I - I'm too excited~! We're f - finally getting paired up tomorrow!"

"I know that! Y - You, you've been saying that for the past TH - THREE HOURS. "

It couldn't be helped. After all, Super Rick Fan Morty was often made fun of by Ricks for being the number one Rick fan, and no one bothered to stick around - since they saw him as clingy. It was actually quite sad, but Rick Fan never let it get him down. After all, living at the Citadel insured that he got to see his favorite person every day, in some shape or form. In fact, he was looking forward to all the kinds of Ricks that he could possibly be paired up with, too.

"Well, y - yeah, I mean, I'm just really, really excited! I mean, what if I get paired with Super Fan Rick! H - He looks like he takes good care of Mortys! A - A - And Bubblegum Rick is soooooo cool~! O - Or Novelist Rick! M - Maybe he'd - he'd write a book about us!"

" GOD , I get it, Rick Fan, just GO TO SLEEP! "

V-Neck's yell alongside Rick Fan's incessant talking was enough to warrant a bang on the closest wall to them, the source of that being on the other side of the wall. That was universally taken by all of the Mortys to mean "You're being loud, please be quiet so that I can sleep." There was a groan from V-Neck and Rick Fan could hear the sound of covers being pulled up and the rustling of someone trying to settle into a comfortable position to sleep.

"Look, I get it, Rick Fan. R - Really, I do. Af - after all, you're me, and I - I'm you. I also want to

get paired up with a R - Rick… But it's t - tomorrow. We can be excited about it then. Good night."

Rick Fan was trying - while failing - to curb his excitement, but it seemed there was nothing he could do to avoid it. It wasn't long before V-Neck had fallen asleep and started snoring, though, so he'd silent squealed to try and get it out. This occurred several times and over the next couple of hours before he'd eventually tired himself out and let his eyelids droop down, allowing himself to fall into dreams.

Earlier that day, was just another day for most Ricks. There were the Ricks that worked honest jobs to make an honest living in the Citadel, and there were other Ricks that, rather simply, didn't. After all, the Citadel was as much of a living, breathing, and bustling city as any other, filled with as many Ricks as there were individuals in any universe. We're looking at one particular Rick right now, though, and this Rick was walking through the department store, the two black stripes on his shirt making him stand out from most other Ricks, alongside an expertly combed down tuft of hair that covered half of his face. The single eye that was visible seemed to be darting about suspiciously, seeming to be scanning around for everyone that was around him at that particular moment in time.

No one was watching. Perhaps he could safely make his move and not have to worry about the po-po on hot pursuit. Breathing out slowly, he'd steeled himself for the next step of his master plan and he'd stepped casually toward one of the shelves in the store, looking at all of the Morty Manipulator Chips that were on clearance. This particular model was out of production due to a malfunction in the circuit board that made Mortys hyper-sensitive in the genitals. Obviously, that meant that they weren't of any significant use in a battle, since Mortys have died from a swift kick in the balls. But that didn't mean they didn't do their job effectively. They still let a person control a Morty. As such, they could still be used for… collection purposes.

A hand pulled out from a pocket and made its way towards the chips, gripping onto a good fistful of them before pulling back and slowly - decisively - sliding that fistful back into the pocket. However, before the hand could return to the safety of the cloth container, the hand was retrained. Eyes widened as the guilty Rick turned his neck and noticed a Cop Rick had grabbed his hand. There was a slight struggle as he'd grimaced, not trying to draw too much attention as he'd tried to pull away. Unfortunately for him, Cop Rick was just a bit stronger than him. There was no getting away from this, it seemed.

"Give it up, Zero Rick. Just come with me and we can get your punishment in order."

"Ugh, whatever. I don't want to have to deal with this. I can just put them back and you can let me go and we can just go about the rest of our day being Ricks."

"No can do. You've got to spend awhile behind bars, at least so that you can pretend that you're learning your lesson. I know you won't because you're a goddamn Rick, but I'm Cop Rick for a reason. As you know in the Citadel, if you get caught then we make sure you know you fucked up."

Cop Rick pushed Zero's hand back into the pile and gripped his nerves in a way that made a pain shoot up the contained Rick's arm, causing him to cry out a bit and release all of the chips. Glaring at the cop, Zero tried to jerk his hand away again. Of course, Cop Rick wasn't having these shenanigans, so he'd held firm and had pulled Zero Rick's arm behind him, pushing it up to hold it against his back and causing him to cry out in pain one more time, this one a little louder. He'd held Zero in place for a moment before using his free arm to grab Zero's other arm and also hold that one down, guiding the edgelord to his office in the department store.

As they'd entered, Cop Rick tossed Zero into a chair and sighed, sitting at his desk and pressing a button to activate a mechanism in the chair - restraints shooting out from the back to hold him by his chest, from the armrests to hold down his arms, and from the legs to hold down his ankles - to hold Zero down. There was some struggling, but it was only for a few moments as Zero discovered that it would be futile. The single eye that was showing locked onto Cop Zero in a certain rage and annoyance. They'd stared at each other for awhile before Cop had lifted a hand to the bridge of his nose, pinching and massaging it as thoughts of what to do with Zero ran through his mind. It was already that time of the year… That… time of… the year…

"Look, I have a proposition for you. You can either do your time, do community service and muck up the shit of the Citadel, or you c-"

"Whatever. I'll do whatever that third option is. I can't get locked up tonight because I've got a show to practice for and I'm not spending my days picking up broken beer bottles and mopping up Rick vomit. I'm sure it'll be better than whatever 'community service' you'd have me do."

There was a bit of a twitch in his Cop Rick's eye and he found that he was particularly close to backhanding Zero in his goddamned mouth, but held himself back because he needed Zero to cooperate. Especially since they had a shortage this year and had to crack down harder on other Ricks just to get enough to run the program. As such, a gentle - but firm - hand was necessary.

"For the love of- Let me fucking finish, you piece of shit. But fine. I'm signing you up for the M.A.L-I.C.E. program."

"... What the fuck is that?"

"Mortys Are Lonely - Initial Change Engagement. It's the program that we Cop Ricks set up every Christmas to pair up Rickless Mortys."

"Why did you even need an acronym for that? Just call it the babysitting program or something; that's stupid. And the acronym is dumb too. Who let you guys name it that?"

"Don't question it, you- fucking, just- ugh. Okay, listen. Just do this program. It'll let you do whatever the fuck you want to do or need to do. Just with a Morty attached. Capiche?"

Zero Rick was visibly uncomfortable with that idea - not really gravitating with the idea of having a Morty. At the same time, though, Cop Rick was right. He could do what he wanted, with the caveat of having to drag a Morty around. It was a headache on a leash. Or rather a chain. Regardless of that, there were other things that had to be taken care of, so he might as well do it. How bad could taking care of a Morty possibly be? With a bit of a scowl on his lip, Zero nodded to Cop Rick and sighed in defeat.

"Alright sign me up. And let me out of this chair. My wrists are chafing."

"Fine. Meet up at the Seventh District station and we can get you paired up with a Morty. If you don't show up, we're showing up at your doorstep and gluing the Morty to your back."

With the press of a button, Zero Rick was released, reaching for and massaging each of the parts of his body that were being held down. He'd glared at Cop briefly before standing up and walking out, a grin on Cop Rick's face as he'd successfully gotten another Rick into M.A.L-I.C.E. and felt particularly good about it. Hopefully he could round up a few more before they all met up.

I hear Super Rick Fan Morty is in this pool.

This year again? Doesn't seem like any Rick will keep him. Even if this is supposed to be temporary, some Mortys stay with the Ricks that they're assigned to.

I wonder why. I hear he's a good lay. A real "Rick Fan," if you catch my drift. He'll do anything for a Rick.

Yeah, I heard that too. "Super," isn't it? Hell, I'll take him.

These sorts of things were being discussed by all of the Ricks that were gathered into the room. Quite a few of them seemed to be annoyed at being there, while there were a few who seemed to be volunteers. The Mortys were all gathered in another room and it seemed Cop Rick was able to gather enough "volunteers" for each Morty to get a Rick this year. He continued to count off to make sure none of the numbers were off, though, and left the Ricks to do what they wanted until the pairing time. In the corner, Zero Rick leaned against the wall with a pair of earbuds in his ears, jamming out to Linkin Park's "Crawling" and doing a simple headbang with his eyes closed.

In the other room over, Teacher Rick was explaining to the classroom of Mortys that they were going to be paired with a Rick for the holidays. It was simple: reach into a bucket and pull out a slip of paper with a dimension number written on it - that would be their Rick. All of the Mortys had a varying degree of excitement, some not really caring while others were happy to get back together with a Rick. Super Rick Fan was particularly excited and was clapping his hands together excitedly. He'd received a weird look here and there, but it didn't matter to him. He was going to be with another Rick this year!

Reaching out to V-Neck's sleeve, he'd pulled on it to try to get his attention. The other Morty simply rolled his eyes and pulled his arm away, scooting out of Rick Fan's reach. From that result, Super Rick Fan had simply looked back at the board and listened to Teacher Rick, smiling giddily and waiting his turn to pull out of the bucket. Soon enough, he'd pulled out of the bucket and saw the Rick to whom he was assigned. W-646260! Unfortunately for him, it was just the numbers and didn't describe which one he was with.

One by one, each Morty was brought into the room to find their Rick and - one by one - they each left. When Super Rick Fan came into the room he'd called out for his Rick, following suit as each Morty before him.

"U - Um… D - Dimension W-646260…? A - Are you here? W-646260?"

No response. Each Rick looked at each other with raised eyebrow. It seemed no one had any idea what this Morty was talking about and they'd ignored him. Before he could even find his Rick, the next Morty walked in, called out the dimension, and off they went. Super Rick Fan's heart ached, but he was hopeful still. Maybe this Rick was in the bathroom or something? Yeah, that had to be it! Not losing hope, he'd taken a seat that wasn't occupied and let his legs swing, waiting patiently to see any Rick walk in.

Before too long, the last Morty walked through and left with his Rick. Super Rick Fan's smile had since formed into a frown, not understanding. He'd called out to W-646260 several times and had never gotten a response since coming out of the room. The room appeared to be empty of everyone else except for him… Or at least only appeared to be. As his eyes darted about and tears began to well at the edges of his eyesight, he'd caught sight of a Rick leaning against the wall in the corner, head down and eyes closed. Hope filled his heart again and Super Rick Fan ran over to the Rick, waving his arms excitedly. Then realizing that the Rick's eyes were closed, he'd stopped in front of the black-stripe-shirt Rick and tapped him on the shoulder, causing the older man to open one eye slowly and look at who was tapping on him.

Sighing tiredly, he'd lifted a hand to pull an earbud from one of his ears, taking the other one out as well and pocketting them. His eyes traced up and down the Morty, the most obvious things standing out being the Rick-themed hat and shirt, along with the Rick plushie this Morty held in one of his hands and the other hand holding a paper with his dimension number on it. It became obvious who this Morty was, hearing the rumors.

"I guess you're my Morty for the next couple of months, huh?"

"Hehehe, yep~! Z - Zero Rick, right? I - I didn't know this was your di - dimension number!"

"Yeah. I don't give it out all willy nilly, like some Ricks. I like my privacy. I'd make a note of that, if I were you."

"W - W - Will do, R - Rick!"

"And, please. Please. Call me Zero. Rick is a stupid name."

Morty was confused by Zero's disdain for his own name, nodding slowly as he'd registered the request and smiled brightly. Rick's eyes squinted and he'd grimaced at the thought of being paired with this Morty. He was far too… happy.

"S - Sure, Zero! I - I mean, I don't hate the name R - Rick. I'm a Rick F - Fan, after all! But anything for you!"

"... Whatever, let's… let's just go."

As Zero pushed off of the wall, Super Rick Fan was very visibly excited. After all, he'd finally been paired with his Rick and he wanted nothing more than to go on adventures with him. It was something he'd craved since the last Rick he was with. Of course, Super Rick Fan had no idea why he'd been left at the Citadel. The last Rick he was with last year had disappeared into a crowd of Ricks and had never come back for him. Super Rick Fan was convinced that it was a simple mistake, though. That's how he'd ended up back in the Morty Academy with the rest of the Mortys that had been abandoned during the C-137 incident. Regardless of that, though, he was back in a pair, and he couldn't be happier!

Zero, on the other hand, had been Mortyless for years. He'd found them to be insufferable and he'd done a good job avoiding them for so long. The fact that Cop Rick had caught him this time and he was forced into this? Well, it was still better than the other options. Now he'd have to deal with this Morty for the next couple of months. It didn't matter though. This was only temporary. Soon he'd been solo again and he wouldn't have to worry about taking care of this god damned kid. His stomach rumbled as he'd thought this, and he'd let out an annoyed sigh.

"So, I'm hungry. What do you like to eat, or whatever?"

"Wh - Whatever you want, Zero~ I'm down to eat a - anything!"

"Well… Pizza it is… Let's go."

Do you guys like it thus far? We hope so! :)
We'd love it if you left comments/faved/follwed to the story, etc.

More to come soon!
Feel free to read our other stories too for Rick and Morty! :]