AN: This is not the first go at this story, for those of you who are new, welcome, for those of you who are coming back, welcome back.
Chelsea
I suppose when introducing yourself, it is customary to say your name first. My name is Isabella Marie Swan. I am eighteen years old. Tomorrow will be the first day of my senior year. However, unlike most girls my age, I wish my senior year wouldn't start. When school starts so does the abuse. Abuse? I can honestly say that I have been abused in every way possible since I was a child. I can remember the exact day, the exact weather, the exact place, it started. When someone is kicking you, punching you, and telling you that you are worthless, it is not easily forgotten.
I was eight. The year my mom left. My dad had returned from a drunken stupor. I was sleeping in my bed when I hear the loud slam of the front door, his rackety assent of the stairs, and finally my bedroom door slam open with a loud thud. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to pretend I was in a different place, with a family who was there to love me. I felt his hand slid across my forearm before he yanked me off the bed. I flew down to the floor with a loud thud and a whimper.
"Stupid little cunt," he accused. Then it started. The abuse. He grabbed my hair and dragged me down the hall. I knew better than to scream. I knew better than to fight.
In the summers, I would only get abused when my father couldn't find someone else to inflict pain onto. He usually stayed out at bars or with some street whore. This was the time when he was off work often. When school started, he would start working more. I could also sneak out on nights when he was there; I often slept out in the woods. It wasn't the most comfortable thing to sleep on the cold ground but, it was better than the bruises.
The pain from the abuse has not only hurt me physically, it has hurt me emotionally. The yelling, the screaming, it didn't come without the hurtful words that Charlie, my father, easily told me. My mother died right before I turned eight, I have no siblings, and Charlie always took his anger out on me I suppose.
As he dragged me down the hall, I winced from the pain. He threw against the top of the stair case.
"You are a whore." He slurred his words as he slapped me across the face.
"Ahh!" I screamed as my cheek stung. "Please Daddy, I'm sorry!" I begged.
"Sorry?! You stupid ass bitch! You ruined my life!" He kicked me in the side, causing me to slide on the wooden floors. Before I knew it I was rolling down the stairs. Every new step was a new torture. First my head would hit, my leg would bend awkwardly, and my arm would be smashed into the railing.
"Fuck you, you whore." He slurred from the top as I reached my landing.
I just laid there as he went to his room, slamming the door. I don't think I could have moved even if I wanted to at that moment.
There is no one to talk to for me. School would start tomorrow. Nothing for me to look forward to, I kept my distance from people. I had no friends, I was not pretty, and I was not popular. I have never had a boyfriend. Getting close to anyone, anyone at all, would mean that they could find out my secrets. They could find out more and more about me and then finally, they would realize that I was a horrible person, how I ruined my father's life. How I would ruin theirs too.
I went to sleep early that night, sometimes if I was asleep by the time my father got home; he would decide not to mess with me. I have discovered over the years that he preferred me when I was fully aware of the pain he was afflicting, not half asleep.
I slowly drifted off to sleep, knowing that in a few hours I would be awoken when my father came home from the bar.
After what seemed like only a couple hours of sleep, I was bolted awake by the front door slamming and his loud trail up the stairs. I could hear his footsteps as they slowly made it to my door, and finally passed. I got lucky tonight but, that only assured that tomorrow would be worse.
I was awoken by my quiet alarm clock. I had trained myself to wake to quiet noises, so that I would never wake Charlie with a blaring alarm. I quickly rose from my bed, and rushed into the bathroom to shower. I took down my long brown hair and let it fall down my back.
I was far from attractive. I had long, frizzy, brown hair that went to the middle of my back and brown eyes. I had bruises coving my ribs, from the last beating I received from Charlie. I was always fortunate when the bruises could be hidden by clothes, this was I didn't have to try to put makeup on them to cover them up. Everything about me was average, far from special.
I turned on the warm water and stepped into the shower, letting my problems wash away for just a moment. It was times like these when I could feel almost normal, doing a regular activity where I didn't have to think about who I was, or who I was hurting.
I got out and dried off my body, then wrapped the towel around my hair. I reached for my robe that hung from the door, wincing as the bruises on my ribs were moved too much. I wrapped the gray and white jersey robe around me before brushing my teeth. This was going to be a long day, I could already feel it.
Walking as quietly as possible to my room, I thought about what I should wear. Hmph, I thought to myself, I don't know why I bother. It was basically the same outfit every day, no matter the weather. Sweat pants, a long sleeve shirt, my ragged tennis shoes, and a sweater for if it was chilly outside which it often was. The worst part about living in Forks, Washington was the weather. It often changed but, the standards were cold and rainy. Rarely was there a day of sunshine.
I looked at the clock, calculating how much time I had. I had about twenty minutes until school started; it would take me at least fifteen to walk to school. I quickly grabbed my backpack and put my limited school supplies in it, careful to place the pencils away from the two holes in the stitching so I wouldn't lose them.
I slung my backpack on my back, wincing as it somehow managed to graze my bruised ribs. I quietly hurried out my bedroom door, slowly closing it behind me. I could hear Charlie snoring in his bedroom as I slowly started my descent of the stairs, carefully maneuvering around the squeaky boards I had become familiar with. I took my last step on the stairs before walking to the front door. I took a deep breath and finally twisted the handle. First day of school, here I come.
It was a long but, uneventful walk to school. Upon arriving, I could see the excitement on everyone's face. Jessica Stanley, the most popular girl in school, was surrounded by her posse. After the long summer, it was realistic for everyone to be so happy but, I just walked past the giggling girls to the doors of the school.
Not a soul said hi to me as I walked through the busy halls, or sent a welcoming smile in my direction. I was nothing special, my father had told me enough times for me to know this. I was nothing to these people.
I walked straight to the gym; this is where we would get our schedules every year. There were four tables set up, one with each grade. Freshman, sophomore, Junior, and finally Senior, the only table I had not ever been at. I waited in line behind Lauren Mallory, she turned and gave me a disgusted look and then turned back around. I hung my head low, avoiding eye contact until it was my turn.
"Hello Bella!" Mrs. Smith called as I approached the table. She was the English teacher, my favorite subject and my favorite teacher. She was always very sweet to me; she never called on me in class because she knew I was uncomfortable. Instead of having me answer questions for class participation points, she would let me read books and write reports on them, something I was very good at.
"Hello Mrs. Smith, may I please get my schedule?"
"Of course my dear!" She exclaimed, handing me the yellow paper, the official color of the senior schedules.
I turned to leave and saw many people standing around comparing schedules, I had no one to compare to so I headed on my way out. I looked down to make sure I was going to the right class, math first. Math was never my favorite but, I wanted to get their early so I could get a seat in the back. In addition to that, if you showed up late, you always brought attention to yourself, something I was obviously not a fan of.
The first few peroids went fine. I managed to find all of them on time and get a seat in the back, something I was very happy about. Although Forks was a small school, its student body was not particularly on the academic side. Most students preferred sports, making the back of the classroom likely targets for these types of students. However, Forks also had a "no pass, no play" rule. The coaches made the athletes pick the front seats so they would "pay attention". This freed the back of the class room for me.
I walked into lunch where the aroma of a chicken sandwich came in contact with my nose. I wasn't hungry, especially for a half chicken half soy sandwich. I made my way to the back of the still mainly empty cafeteria to the back doors. Outside there were many picnic tables where the students usually ate as long as there was not bad weather. I stayed away from the tables however and choose to seat under a huge oak tree, my usual spot. I pulled my backpack from my shoulders, careful not to graze my ribs this time.
I pulled my newest book out of my backpack. I loved to read, I did it almost constantly. I could easily transport my miserable life into a character's world and be happy. Plus, I had a ton of free time, and it wasn't as if Charlie even supplied basic cable at home. I could remember times when we barely had electricity, much less a luxury.
I found it hard to focus on my novel and ended up looking around the picnic tables, something I rarely did for fear of making eye contact with someone. My eyes scanned over the different cliques. Cliques were not rare at Forks High School however, there were three main cliques. Popular, Unpopular, and then your basic Loners. I didn't stare at any of the groups, there actions were pretty predictable. Nothing out of place, nothing too interesting. I continued to scan the area until my eyes landed on a group of students I had never seen before and the worst possible thing happened. I locked eyes with another student.
He has tousled bronze hair and was the most amazing, god-like creature I had ever seen. I finally stop concentrating on his looks and looked back directly into his eyes. Through all his beauty, he still managed to be shooting death glares at me. I questioned what I did wrong, knowing that I surely did something to make him mad. I quickly tore my gaze from him.
What could I have done? I pondered the subject before the bell rang and I was forced to go to my next class. I stood up and grabbed my backpack, placing my book inside and zipping it up. I started walking to my next class as I swung it onto my shoulders. My next class was Biology with Mr. Banner. I quickly found the classroom, this was not my first time having him as a teacher. I took my seat in the back. Each desk had two seats at it. They were large and black, each with its own station for experiments.
Luckily, I was the first one there, I knew I had to make a wise decision on my seat choice however, the one I took now would be my seat for the rest of the year. In addition to this, whoever sat next to you were automatically your lab partner, your study partner, and any class project partner. The last time I had Mr. Banner, there were an odd number of students in the class and I was lucky enough to be without a partner. I prayed that this year would be no different.
I focused my eye sight on the desk, away from the incoming students finding their seats. The black desk had writing on them from the previous years. I read the names, the occasional cuss words, and looked at the drawings.
I was distracted by the second ringing bell, signaling the start of class. Everyone quickly settled into their seats. No one was seating next to me, I silently said a thank you to up above.
I suppose I sent my thank you a little too soon as I heard the door slowly open.
"Well, Mr. Cullen, how nice of you to finally join us." Mr. Banner said to the student walking in.
"Yes well, I got slightly lost, it is my first day." He chuckled. It had to be the most angelic voice I had ever heard. I raised my eyes to see none other than the Greek-god before me. I quickly scanned the room for available seats. It seemed the one next to me was the last one. Great.
"Perfectly fine Edward, just take a seat in the back next to Miss. Swan," he said, surely pointing in my direction.
I blushed bright red as I looked down at the floor, seeing his shoes pass by my eyesight and then the chair beside me pull out. I could his presence next to me. Of all the people, why did it have to be him? Why did the one guy who obviously hated me, have to sit next to me. I felt so bad for being in my seat. I should just drop the class, I was probably causing him pain. He sighed and I glanced up at his face.
He eyes were literally black. There was not even a glint of happiness on his face. He didn't look necessarily angry, more tense, or anxious than anything. He was on the edge of his seat, leaning away from me. He was gripping the bottom of the table. I looked back up to his eyes, with nothing less than an expression of shock on my face. He smiled at me.
It took me about five seconds just to process it. People do not smile at me, much less males. They hit me, kicked me, punched me, and told me I was worthless. They did not smile at me.
I would have continued to stare at him with my mouth open if the teacher had not started to talk. He quickly passed out a work sheet that I of course breezed through until the last question. Why did the last question always have to be the hardest? I started to tap my pen against the table unconsciously.
Mr. Banner walked up and to my surprise, put his hand on my back in a perfect position to be at the worst of the bruises on my side. I winced, trying to hold back the tears.
"How are you doing, Bella?" He asked.
"Fine." I squeezed through my teeth. He managed to pat me on the back not once but three times before he walked away to help another student. The pain was unbearable.
A single tear fell from my eye and hit the corner of my work sheet. I quickly wiped the next one that was threating to fall. Edward quickly shoved his paper next to mine on the table.
"Here, copy mine." He said. I didn't even think about the gesture or his action. I wrote down the answer, the bell rang, and I turned in the paper as I bolted out of the class room, nearly running.
I headed straight for the bathroom. I opened the swinging blue door with a "Women" sign on it. I didn't want anyone to see my crying. At home, if I cried, I got hit, and punched, and kicked. Charlie said it was a sign of weakness, another one of my faults. There were two other girls in the bathroom. I went to one of the sinks, quickly splashing water on my face, hoping they wouldn't notice me. As I tried to get rid of the blotchiness, I could see two pairs of feet appear as I looked down at the sink.
"Are you okay?" The one with short hair black hair said, it almost seemed as true concern was covering her face.
I shook my head yes, it wasn't a lie; the pain was slowly going away. Settling back into its usual achiness.
"I'm Alice." She said smiling, "And this is Rose." She gestured to the girl on my other side.
Both girls had very pale skin but, were remarkably beautiful. They looked almost similar to Edward, I wondered if they had been sitting at the lunch table with him.
"Isabella," I said "call me Bella." I smiled, forcibly.
"Well Bella, see you around." Rose said before her and Alice made their way to the door.
I went to my next class but, skipped the last one. PE being the last one, I did not want to make up and excuse for why I could not work out. On my way home I thought about how eventful my day was. The gorgeous Greek God named Edward that I had met and the two girls, Alice and Rose. They all seemed so nice. I was sure that they did not care for me and just felt pity for me. He did smile though, and they asked me if I was alright…
I pushed the thoughts from my head. I was nothing. I was not used to the attention though, I was used to being slapped and cursed at. Even by girls, Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory were not exactly my best friends at school. They had often told me how weird or ugly I am.
The walk home went by quickly as my mind was drifting; I walked into my house, setting my bad down on the table. Charlie was never home at this time, he had work.
I was proven wrong as I entered the living room, he was waiting on the couch for me, as drunk as ever. The three people I had met at school were now at the back of my head.
This was my life, this was reality.
He stood up.
"Where have you been, Slut?!" He said angrily. What was I to do now?
"At school." I spoke in a quiet, timid voice with my head down.
"Is that right? Well, I have been waiting for you ass to get home! I do not like to wait." He spoke sternly, such as a father would when you had just finished making a smart remark. He walked up to me and slapped me across my face. I screamed it hurt so bad, pain was something I could not get used to. He picked up the wooden chair nearby and slapped it into me, making contact with my head. Everything immediately went dark as I blacked out.
Reviews are welcome.
Chelsea