The Night of the Listening Horse
(or Poor Artie had it Coming)
Having watched "TNOT Ready-Made Corpse" and "TNOT Skulls" back-to-back I couldn't help notice that Artie made some obvious mistakes. I admire him a lot but I just couldn't let it go. As always James West is the villain.
James West walked over to the corral fence and place one booted foot on the lowest rung. From there he could see his partner, red-faced with exertion, lasso and tie an animal from a small group brought there for that purpose.
Artie stood back and wiped his face with his handkerchief. Spotting his friend he walked over to him.
"Hi, Jim."
Jim looked back at him, eyes dancing with humour. "Artemus, what are you doing with that steer?" he asked.
"It's called prisoner restraint practice," Artie admitted rather shame-facedly.
"You astound me," Jim said with a grin. "Do cows commit a lot of crime in these parts?"
"They don't let you practice on fellow agents anymore," Artie said, "as you very well know. Their time is too valuable and they don't put up enough resistance."
"And what brings you here?– no, let me guess…..!"
"You know very well why I'm here."
"Oh yes, Tigo. Well if you had tied him up properly he wouldn't have been able to escape and nearly cost us our lives."
"Okay, you don't have to rub it in, Jim."
"What are you going to do now you've mastered this art?" Jim asked, nodding toward the steer which was now being released.
"Something to do with staircase fighting," Artie admitted.
"Ah what's known as 'stopping a pig in a passage'," Jim joked. "I take it that's a result of your contretemps with Antilles."
"Could be – alright it is – but if you hadn't let him escape after he killed Pellargo in the first place…"
"It was your job to guard the stairs, Artie."
"Alright, alright, everyone's a critic."
"When will I see you back at the Wanderer then?" Jim asked.
Artie looked sheepish as he scratched the back of his neck. "Well um…"
"Don't tell me there's more."
"Just a short refresher on tactics in disguises," he said. "A mere tutorial," he added, waving his hand in the air dismissively.
"But you're the one who teaches other agents about disguises. What could they possibly teach you?"
"It's tactical," Artie said. "There was no problem about the disguise I used as Thomas Link. The trouble was that I showed Lavendor a wanted poster with my real face on it."
"Ouch!"
"Exactly. Jim, can you do me a favour?"
"Of course, Artie, what is it?"
"Stop writing the reports for Colonel Richmond will ya?"
"I'll be glad to hand the task back to you, Artie," Jim replied with a grin. "I'll see you when I see you then," he added, and started walking back to his horse.
"There you go, Blackjack," he said, climbing into the saddle and patting the horse's neck, "I told you I'd get out of writing those reports didn't I?"
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The End