He was under the streetlight at the venue we just performed at. It was raining, and I had wondered why he called me out. His hair was damp, matted down, and I could tell that he was thinking hard about what he was about to do.
I sighed. We'd been fighting a lot lately. Sometimes it would be over the silly things and playful fights, and others we'd both go to sleep crying. It was no longer the relationship we use to have. My final conclusion is that we really shouldn't have gone on tour together. It broke us apart.
Once he saw me he tried to give me a slight smile, but it came out too shaky and unsure. I walked over to him, giving him a hug. I didn't know if we were over or not. It bothered me.
"Hey."
"Hey," I gave off a small smile.
It was dark out and in the distance I could see the headlights of all the cars that were leaving our performance. No one saw us, then again, it was hard to see anything past Nick from the rain. They all continued driving, little girls still having the adrenaline rush and parents happy to see them happy.
Christmas lights shone in Connecticut. They were wrapped around all the leafless trees, and stores, and houses. It was suppose to be beautiful. He let out a deep breath.
"About what you said earlier... About if this was too much and inconvenient..." he ran his hand through his hair, tears forming in his eyes. "You know that I love you – I don't want to lose you because you are so important to me. And I want to be with you it's – things are really hard for me right now."
"Things are really hard for me too," I mumbled looking down. "I don't know what to do. I mean, are we over, are we together, are we even friends?"
He looked into my eyes, "What do we do?"
The first tear fell. It was mine.
"Maybe we should take a little break."
It was his turn for a tear to fall. He nodded accepting. "If that's what you want."
"Not was I want!" I shook my head fiercely. I could never want to be away from him. "What we need."
He tried to force out another smile, but all I wanted him to do was stop and cry with me. Know that he didn't have to be strong. It caused me more pain when I saw the pain behind his strained smile.
I was surprised that we even lasted this long. We were young, but we loved each other. Even as we grew, I didn't want to break up. We came too far to just give up everything, to lose everything. But we both knew that's what we had to do.
I wiped my tears while he wiped his.
"So we're really over? No go-backs?" he asked one last time.
I sniffed. "No go-backs."'
"I guess this is it then," he spoke slowly. Neither one of us wanted to be alone. Rain was pouring down, and my hair was soaked.
"I love you, Nicky, I do! It's just, this is so much, and-"
"I know," he whispered hoarsely. "I feel the same way."
"God, I'm gonna miss you," my voice popped out, croaky and filled with sorrow. I had to give up, I knew that, but that didn't mean that I didn't want to win.
Both of us were still crying.
"Please, don't leave," I begged him, on the verge of sobbing.
He held me tight against his chest for a couple seconds. I didn't hesitate to squeeze him tightly back while I still could.
The buses had to leave now to go to the next city in a few minutes, however. His mom came out and called him inside. He turned to her motioning for one more minute, and she hesitantly agreed knowing that something must be going on. His face was red and blotchy and I was sure that mine was too.
"I guess we gotta leave," he told me. I nodded, taking off the dogtag that I always kept around me. His dogtag.
He stopped me suddenly. "Keep it. As a reminder."
I let it drop back around my neck. "Will we be together again someday?" I was afraid to ask, but I had to know the answer.
There was thunder overhead which quickly made my mom call for me. He understood. He let me go, and I let him go. But we both didn't want to. It was heartbreaking to know that we were over. I cried myself to sleep that night, and many nights after. Truth is, I still miss him.
The fact is, I'll always love him.
And nothing hurts more, than to know that I'll never hold him like I did that night before the storm hit.
We always say a heart is not whole without the one who gets you through the storm.
Inspired by Before the Storm. I LOVE the song(:
Haven't seen one on here yet, probably is.
Review?(:
