Author's notes: I never planned to write another Full House fanfic, but this was inspired by watching The Last Dance, a late season 7 episode. Jesse references talking to Stephanie about grief. I figured I'd take a shot at writing that scene. I can certainly do just as cheesy a job as any of the writers ;)
Hope you enjoy. this is unbetaed, so any constructive feedback would be appreciated.
Michelle has taken the longest bath in the world, which for some reason makes Stephanie want to cry. The fact that they were out of chocolate milk at lunch today almost made her want to cry though, so maybe Stephanie's just going crazy.
"Daddy," Michelle calls when she's finally let Stephanie in the bathroom.
Stephanie watches in the mirror as Danny kneels in the hallway in front of MIchelle and strokes her hair. "Yes?" Stephanie wishes they weren't having this conversation right in front of her.
"Can I sleep with you? Just for tonight."
Stephanie turns around in spite of herself, surprised. Michelle hasn't asked to sleep with their dad in forever. She should ask Stephanie if she wants to sleep in her bed. They share a room, after all. Not that Stephanie would want her to, but still. She should ask.
"Of course, Sweetheart. Just come in when you're ready. I'm going over some things with aunt Becky, but we're almost done."
Michelle hugs him and doesn't say anything. A ball of jealousy forms in Stephanie's throat, and she tries to spit it out with her toothpaste.
"Did something happen at school?" she asks Michelle when Danny has left.
"You have toothpaste on your nose," Michelle replies.
Stephanie makes a frustrated noise. "Did it?" she persists.
"I think I'm mad at you," is all Michelle will tell her.
Stephanie walks to their bedroom confused. Michelle wants to sleep with dad because she's mad at her? She sits on her bed and thinks about reading, but she doesn't think she can concentrate.
Michelle starts talking to uncle Jesse in the hallway, and Stephanie has to listen. Even if Michelle is mad, she wouldn't go back on her promise. She won't want to hurt uncle Jesse.
"Thank you for doing the dance with me," Michelle says. Stephanie imagines uncle Jesse is holding her, because he always does that. Uncle Jesse has always loved Michelle the most, not that Stephanie cares about that.
"I was glad to do it, munchkin. It helped me to think about good memories. That's important."
Stephanie wants to get up and close the door. That hard lump of emotion is back in her throat, and tears prick her eyes. She pulls a pillow over her head and breaths in quick pants. Michelle is little, she doesn't have to be brave. But Stephanie does. Stephanie will.
When she's done acting like a baby, Stephanie thinks she'll go find D.J. D.J. will know how to help without making Stephanie feel stupid.
She takes in a deep breath and pulls the pillow off her face, preparing to go get a snack to bribe her older sister with.
Uncle Jesse is standing in the doorway, watching her. Stephanie jumps.
"Knocking is nice," she says, trying to sound casual.
"the door was open," he says mildly. She wishes he'd reprimand her instead. She can handle reprimands.
"Michelle's sleeping with dad," she tells him, hoping he'll just leave. Stephanie needs to be in bed soon herself, and then she'll have lost her nerve to tell D.J.
"I know. I came to talk to you."
He comes in without asking and closes the door. Stephanie's stomach clenches.
He sits on MIchelle's bed and just looks at her. Stephanie wishes she could disappear. Or maybe that she was still five, when sitting in his lap wasn't pathetic.
"Steph," uncle Jesse says finally, "do you remember when your mom died?"
That question takes all the breath from her lungs, because of course stephanie does and obviously, that's been making this last week so much worse and why do they never talk about their mother?
"Why are you asking me about this?" she asks, her voice less strong than she likes.
He sighs. "Because I do. It was one of the hardest weeks in my life. Just like this one has ben."
"I'm sorry," Stephanie says. Maybe uncle Jesse wants her to help him feel better. She hadn't thought about that.
"But it's been hard on you too, hasn't it?"
"I'm okay," she lies, looking at one of Michelle's stuffed animals on the pillow behind uncle Jesse.
"Really."
"Uh-huh."
"Oh good," uncle Jesse says brightly. " Because I heard some crazy story about how you think you need to be brave for me, and you know better than that, don't you?"
Stephanie is going to kill Michelle. The anger is making her vision blur and not letting her speak.
"You know that we're all allowed to be sad, and that there's nothing wrong with that?" Uncle Jesse continues, in that same upbeat tone.
she nods. Her eyes are starting to burn.
"Then why aren't you looking at me, hmm?" His voice softens and Stephanie abruptly feels her bed dip. Now he's right next to her, turning her face so that she can't hide. Stephanie bites her bottom lip and holds her breath, but the tears sneak out anyway.
Uncle Jesse just sits there, and god, Stephanie doesn't know what to do. She tries to ask him to leave, but she's already crying too hard to say anything. Anyway, he's already seen, and her plan is ruined.
Then he has to go and hold out his arms, and Stephanie is hugging him before she can stop herself.
"This is what you're supposed to do," uncle Jesse says quietly.
"I'm sorry," Stephanie manages, although she's not sure if it's meant for him or herself or maybe Michelle. Guilt puts a new hitch in her breath as she lays her head against his shoulder, but she can't make herself pull back when she's wanted this all weekend.
"Don't be sorry," uncle Jesse says roughly. "You're allowed to miss him. You're allowed to feel sad."
Stephanie wants to protest, to explain, but she's crying too hard again. Uncle Jesse just sits here and holds her, like he's not hurting too much for this.
Finally, when Stephanie has cried so hard her head hurts and she's as tired as if she's spent the night running after the twins, she pulls away and can't bring herself to meet his eyes.
He gets up, and Stephanie has a strange twinge of panic that this is it, and that he's going to leave her, even though that's what she should want.
But he pulls her to her feet as well, and pulls back the blankets on the bed. Stephanie gets in, confused, and then blushes when he tucks her in. She can't remember the last time anyone has done this.
"You remember what I said," uncle Jesse says. He brushes hair out of her face and kisses her on the forehead.
A million responses flash through her head, but she's too tired to argue. "Thank you."
Uncle Jesse smiles sadly and sits down by her feet.
Stephanie never knows when he leaves, but she falls asleep making a mental note to also thank her sister for not keeping her secrets.