Disclaimer: Digimon does not belong to me.

Author's Notes: There's been a lot of aggression towards Mimato for a while now, and I thought I'd tackle the issue of "Mimato doesn't make sense to me" in a humorous, harmless way. Enjoy!

Summary: How Yamato and Mimi came to be a couple seems to be beyond everyone's understanding, but they're dead set on figuring it out. There's even a chart! [Mimato] [Metafic]

As the crease on his forehead deepened with every passing second, Motomiya Daisuke glanced nervously back and forth between Taichi, and the whiteboard in the middle of Izumi's living room. Yagami Taichi was frowning deeply, staring hard at the complicated diagram Koushiro had drawn for them and Daisuke was once again starstruck, because had no fucking idea how to read the thing. Taichi really was his hero.

"It still doesn't make any sense," he finally declared, glaring now at Koushiro. "Sora, can you explain it?"

Takenouchi Sora, who had tried (and failed) to remain neutral in the situation, scoffed a little.

"I'm not doing this," she said immediately. "You can't drag me into your stupid arguments every time, Taichi."

"Oh, come on!" Taichi groaned. "Like I have to drag you into this."

"You know, this is none of our business."

Kido Jyou's eyebrows had crinkled and he pushed his glasses nervously up his nose. Taichi, face dead set on boredom, took one look at him and smirked.

"You don't understand it either, do you?"

The older boy blushed, nervously wringing his hands.

"It's got nothing to do with that! I just - I just think it's better to leave them to their own."

"Right," he turned to the group. "Has anyone else come up with some brilliant gem on their own?"

"It can't be that complicated," Inoue Miyako, with her head lying on Ichijouji Ken's lap, piped in. "I mean, she's gorgeous, isn't she, Ken-kun?"

Ken, who had spent most of the time running his nimble fingers through Miyako's long, violet hair, only nodded once.

"She is."

"And he's not exactly hard to look at, either."

"It has to be more than looks, you know?"

"Hikari, you are so sweet to say that," Miyako smiled, but Hikari hardly returned it.

"It's not about being sweet, it's about being serious. Listen, they like each other. Shouldn't that be enough for us?"

"No," Daisuke finally sighed. "I mean, I just don't get it."

"It's all on the diagram," Koushiro said, as one who's patience has been tested numerous times. "Compatibility, sphere of influence, physical attraction, emotional bonding and sexual affinity." When he got nothing more than blank looks, he raised his voice. "It's right there on the chart."

Taichi, undaunted, turned to the blond who had remained inconspicuously quiet during this whole time.

"What do you think?"

"Why would I think anything?"

"You're his brother. You must know!"

Takaishi Takeru rolled his eyes, shrugging into his seat.

"I don't think about it."

"Takeru..."

"I don't know. I mean, I always liked her and they always seemed to think along the same lines, like, always," he shrugged again. "I guess I noticed because I was always in the middle of it."

"Yes, but I agreed with him too," Sora said, then blushed. "I mean, it can't be just that, right?"

Taichi, amused by this sudden development, smirked at Sora. "I never took you for the jealous type, Takenouchi."

"Then you really must not know her," Jyou said under his breath, looking away.

"What was that, Jyou-senpai?"

"Nothing! I didn't say anything, Sora-san."

"Mhhm."

"Maybe if you explain it once again, Koushiro-kun?" Hikari asked gently, guilting him into finding more patience.

"Fine, one more time. There's physical attraction, personality base, compatibility, sexual affinity, emotional bonding and sphere of influence. If you take this one by one, you..."

By the time they arrived, everyone was around the whiteboard, screaming at each other.

"It's because she's the prettiest!" Miyako wailed into Daisuke's face, who was red with contained rage.

"So what? Is it because he's the prettiest too? Because Ken is a lot prettier if you ask me!"

"No-one's asking you!"

"Excuse me! I don't think I'm entirely comfortable with being called pretty. You make me sound a little..."

"Effeminate? I think that's the word you're looking for."

"Thank you, Izumi-san."

"You know, I thought we had a real connection. The dark cave, and all, how we leaned against each other..."

"Uh, let me remind you I was there with you, too?" Jyou frowned. "It wasn't just Yamato-san, you know?"

"Of course not! Still..."

"And that was literally just five minutes, Sora. Five minutes, when you were eleven."

"Hey! I had nightmares for years after that!"

"I know, because you told me all about them. You told all of us."

"Well fine then."

"You know Sora, I'm frankly offended. I literally cried for you."

"Oh, shut up Taichi."

"I did!"

"You were eleven!"

Jyou threw his hands in the air. "I rest my case."

"Koushiro, you know Mimi-chan. Why does she do this?"

"Again, it's all in the chart."

"No-one understands the damn chart!"

"Excuse me, what's this supposed to be?"

The arguments ceased, suddenly. Tachikawa Mimi was staring at the whiteboard, a single line crinkling her fair forehead. Behind her, with his arms crossed over his chest stood Ishida Yamato, who for all intents and purposes had been referred to, until now, as Subject B.

"Mimi-chan" Hikari feigned delight. "So good of you to come!"

"Uh-huh," Mimi turned from her. "Miyako?"

"It was all Daisuke's fault!"

"Wow, thanks for throwing me under the bus," he muttered under his breath as she flushed a deep crimson. "Hey Mimi. Yamato. It was nothing really, just having a friendly banter, that's all. Nothing to worry about."

Unconvinced, Mimi turned until she spotted the small figure of Hida Iori, who had done a fantastic job of sitting at the counter and blend into the kitchen.

"Sexual affinity?" her eyebrows went up, and Yamato hid his embarrassment behind a cough. "Iori?"

Disinterested, he glanced up from his book.

"They've been fighting because they don't understand how come the two of you are together."

"Pardon?" and behind her, "What."

"You guys, as a couple. They can't make sense of it."

"Snitch."

"I heard that."

"And you've been doing this all this time?" Mimi asked, though neither of her friends wanted to make eye-contact with her. "You even got a whiteboard."

"Because we were trying to understand," Taichi finally said, defeated. "It was all in good sport, I swear."

"There's an actual diagram here," Yamato finally spoke. "Koushiro?"

"Guilty as charged. I was trying to break it down so it was easier for them to digest, but we've got thick friends."

"You're making it unnecessarily complicated," Mimi sighed.

"Ha! See? It's complicated," Taichi celebrated, hitching his chin at the redhead, who looked affronted and mortified.

"Because you don't need a diagram at all," she continued. "We like each other because, well, we like each other. There's no science, no complicated math behind it."

"But why?"

Yamato raised an eyebrow. "And why not?"

"Well, you two ... you never had any real, screen time together, if you know what I mean."

"You're assuming we've only interacted from what you've seen?" And this time, he actually laughed. "Sometimes I worry about you, Daisuke," his smile fell. "You're too much like Taichi."

"Yamato-kun is kind, caring, and has a good heart. Why wouldn't I fall for that?"

"Oh, so it has nothing to do with the fact that he's blond and blue-eyed."

Mimi shrugged.

"I never thought much of it, to be honest."

"Okay, but what about Mimi? She's loud, and always happy and sometimes she's a spoiled brat."

"Hey!"

"Sorry Mimi, this is for science."

"Firstly, I don't think her being happy should present a problem for anyone. It's refreshing. And secondly, I can't think of anyone who's been more spoiled than you, Yagami. Except Takeru, maybe. No offense."

"None taken."

"You guys have nothing in common," Sora said after a moment, deep in thought.

"And we do?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

She blushed.

"I suppose you're right."

"And that's not true, anyway. There's plenty we have in common."

"Oh, what? Music? Cooking?"

"Shared experiences, the same friends," he listed quietly, placing his hand behind her back. "But yes, we enjoy music and cooking, too."

"And we always have each other's backs, too. Yamato has always been very understanding."

"And Mimi has always been very supportive of me."

Mimi grinned, and he smiled, too.

"Always."

"So that means it's just a superficial thing?" Daisuke asked. "Just because Mimi's the prettiest girl here?"

"Hey!" came a wave of angry protests, somehow mollified by the sound of Mimi's laughter and Takeru's snickers.

"It means, there's a number of reasons why I'm with her, or why it could have been someone else, and it's really none of your fucking business."

"I told you so," Jyou began, but it ended up as a gasp when Sora's elbow cracked his rib.

"Anyway," he continued, sobering up to the company. "We're going to leave you with your little club here, but you should reconsider these meetings. They're a bit sad."

"This was fun! Let's do it again sometime."

"What are you doing now?" Taichi demanded, eyes narrowing.

Yamato smirked.

"Wouldn't you love to know."