During the peacetime after the Fourth Great Shinobi War, business was booming as more of the world was able to come together in trading and commerce. This was especially true for the Leaf Village. With it hosting the hero of the war, one Naruto Uzumaki, tourism was booming. Even though the village had been rebuilding for sometime after the Pain invasion, the efforts to make Konoha better were hastened by the staggering windfall it received. This didn't go unrecognized by local businesses as they offered Naruto and anyone in his party a free meal or a discount on basically any/everything they had in stock. Of course, this meant that Sakura and Ino would regularly borrow Naruto to go shopping or to pick up weapons, the latter being a favorite pastime of TenTen. Choji would regularly join Naruto on an all you can eat spree, and Kiba invited the Uzumaki to the hot spring nearly every day.
This night, however, was different. The old team's, seven, eight, nine, and ten were joining for a night of good times. First, they all decided to meet for dinner, then they would hit up the hot spring for some R&R, finally, they would head to the movie theater before heading home. Everything was going to come together for a perfect evening.
There was a hitch, however. Shino Aburame had found himself without an invitation. News around town was that Naruto was inviting all of his friends from the teams he worked with when he was younger, Shino even overheard Hinata and Kiba talking about the evening when the two went shopping with Naruto earlier in the week. Also, Sai appeared to be talking about the evening one of the several times he was approached by Ino the past few days. Did this mean that Shino was not wanted tonight?
'Unlikely, if the invites were given out to the specific teams, and Kiba and Hinata received invitations, then it would only be logical to conclude I'll be receiving one as well. It must have slipped Naruto's mind since he is occupied with getting our friends their free stuff because anyone with that on their mind are bound to forget something. Also, it wouldn't make sense for me not to go. Why? Because we're all friends, we should enjoy this all together.'
As Shino pondered, squatting in his family's garden towards the back of their estate observing some of his kikachu, he couldn't help but get a nagging feeling that something was wrong.
Nighttime in Konoha and the village was buzzing. At first the large gathering of notable shinobi had brought a swarming crowd. Luckily for said group, the novelty eventually tapered off and so did the crowds. On one side of the table laid out with barbecue sat Naruto, Hinata, Sai, Ino, Sakura, and TenTen. The other side consisted of Shikamaru, Choji, Kiba, Lee, and Shino at the end towards the wall. As the crowd dispersed the group of friends finally felt comfortable enough to express themselves.
"So youthful! I applaud you Naruto and Hinata for fully taking advantage of your youth!" Lee bursted into tears when the blonde wrapped his arm around the Hyuga heiress and pulled her in tight.
TenTen leaned over and lightly smacked Lee on the head. "Would you calm down? You're going to make Hinata pop from embarrassment."
True to TenTen's concern, Hinata had turned red as the will of fire that burned within. Much to the amusement of her boyfriend.
"Hinata-chan are you okay? Let me check and see if you have a fever." Naruto put his hand on Hinata's head nearly forcing steam from her ears.
"I gotta say I'm surprised Naruto. I didn't really peg you for the teasing type." Shikamaru said nonchalantly, receiving a mirthful laugh from Naruto and Ino.
"I don't think you're in a position to talk Shikamaru. What about how you and Temari act together? I don't think I've heard a woman talk about her boyfriend leading her on more than Temari has!" Ino chimed in making her teammate follow Hinata's example. This time Choji laughed so badly he nearly choked on his food.
"I for one find it adorable you were finally able to get Naruto to go out with you. I was starting to think that knucklehead wasn't ever going to catch on." Sakura said shooting a smirk at the couple.
Hinata finally gained her composure and looked at the group. "Thank you guys for the support, I really appreciate it."
"No appreciation needed. Why? Because. . ."
"You're our friend Hinata. Of course, we'd be supportive. Even if you're dating an idiot." Kiba laughed at the furious response he elicited from Naruto.
"You're calling me an idiot? Isn't that a little backward?"
"What's that suppose to mean?"
"Only an idiot couldn't figure that out."
It was Naruto's turn to look smug at the angry reaction of his friend from across the table. While the group stared in a mixture of embarrassment, annoyance, and a bit of nostalgic enjoyment, Shino sat in the corner to his own thoughts.
'Are they doing this on purpose? They are seemingly ignoring my presence completely. Even when I spoke not a single person looked at me or seemed to physically recognize my presence at all. I'm certain I'm over thinking this though. Maybe if I try again.' He took a deep breath. "I think that. . ."
"Naruto-kun, Kiba-kun, calm down, You're both dickless." Sai interjected smiling.
The entire table went quiet only to erupt into laughter and yelling. Sai sat defensively as the two boys screamed at him, luckily his defender in the form of Ino was firm by his side shouting right back at Kiba and Naruto. The others at the table couldn't help but burst out into uproarious laughter. Even Shikamaru couldn't help but burst into uncontrollable laughter. Once again though Shino felt a small pang in his chest. Despite the hot food in front of him and the warm atmosphere, he couldn't feel colder.
'Two times in such rapid succession I'm ignored. That is no longer a coincidence, that is intentional. Are my friends intentionally pushing me off to the side? Should I even call them my frie. . .' Shino shook his head of those thoughts.
"Naruto I have to ask. . ."
"Once we're all done acting like idiots, I hope we'll actually get a chance to eat." TenTen spoke trying to compose herself after her laughing fit.
The group seemingly agreeing with her, even the three yelling holding a heated argument, restrained themselves to their seats. In unison, all but two members of the group gave thanks for their meal and dug in. While Choji had already begun eating, once more, and for the last time that night, Shino retreated silently into his thoughts.
'They don't care. They actually don't care. But, why? I need to know.' Steeling himself, Shino spoke again. "Why don't you guys ca. . ."
Choji moaned gleefully for what seemed like a little too long. "Ooh, this food is so good. I wonder if they have enough fo. . Aah!" His thoughts interrupted by a sudden intruder. On his plate, he noticed a small cluster of bugs.
"What's wrong Choj-EEEEH!" Ino peripheral vision directed her eye to the cluster on top of her food.
One by one the group looked at their food having a similar reaction as the person previous. Before anyone could ask questions the voice in the corner spoke again.
"Do I have your attention now?"
"Shino, what did you do to our food?" Naruto followed his loud inquiry by feverishly wiping off his tongue.
"Why are you ignoring me?"
First to register the question was Hinata. "What do you mean Shino-kun?"
"You know what I mean Hinata. Why is everybody ignoring me?"
"Hey, Shino, man what's your deal? We've just been talking." Kiba said annoyed.
"You know well that isn't only what you've done. I've tried several times to communicate with you all here and each time I'm interrupted and treated as if I said nothing."
TenTen sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Come on Shino, don't you think you're overreacting just a bit."
"No TenTen, I'm not. I've no idea why it's so hard for you to see exactly where my concerns come from."
"Isn't it a bit troublesome to make such a big deal out of one dinner?"
"That's just it Shikamaru, this is not just being ignored several times during one dinner or one invitation that you forgot to give me."
At that statement, Hinata seemed to perk up with a quirked brow. "Naruto-kun, I thought you sent out all of the invitations personally?"
"I did, I delivered every single one. There is no way you didn't get one."
"It's true Naruto, you forgot me, again."
The blonde visibly shrunk. A pang of guilt coursed through his veins so much so that the energetic boy soon turned completely silent. Changing in such a way that his girlfriend grew exceptionally uncomfortable with the sudden solemn emotional change.
"Shino-kun, we're sorry for ignoring you, we truly didn't mean it. How about we go back to having fun tonight? You can even pick the movie we get to see!"
'Huh, I was looking forward to 'Troglodytes of the Eastern Sea III'. No, I must keep my focus on the topic at hand.' Shino turned his head so he was looking directly at the table. "I decline your offer. This issue cannot be solved by one gesture of disingenuous kindness. Why? Because a real friendship is based off authentic compassion and empathy."
"How can you say that Hinata isn't genuine!? She gives you an apology and you just slap her away? Someone who's been on her team since you two were kids! I can only think of Kakashi-sensei words ". . . those who don't care about their friends are even worse than trash." Sakura's words dug deep into everyone at the table who patiently waited for the response from the Aburame.
None of them expected to see Shino grip the table with one hand and clutch it tight enough to make indentations.
"The will of fire burns brightly here. But without the control necessary to harness the flame it is bound to burn you and the ones you love! We all need to remember that we're comrades here and that means that we don't fight amongst ourselves." Lee stood with one foot on the table declaring his philosophy proudly.
With the exception of Shino and TenTen, the rest of the ninja stared at Lee with a sweat drop going down the back of their heads. The latter looked on, though with a different feeling, a little ambiguous, but she would probably word it as, satisfaction. The former was still occupied with his ever-increasing emotions of anger.
"You'll want to be careful Sakura, with accusations like that. Before you levy critiques at others it helps to examine oneself first."
"And what is that suppose to mean exactly?"
"I believe Naruto said it best, "Only an idiot couldn't figure that out,"
Silence. Nothing but frozen bodies and thickening air filled the room.
"Why you. . ."
"Ninja Art: Shadow Possession Jutsu."
Mere inches away from Shino's face Sakura stopped, her face contorted in anger. Shikamaru looked strained as he maintained his crouched position.
"You have the courage to say I'm lower than trash?! You're here because we wanted you to be here, invitation or not! Yet you say how no one cares, how everyone ignores you, yet you're always with us. The only times we didn't bring you along is when you didn't come along. If anything you're the one who didn't care enough. Where were you when Sasuke left and everyone risked their lives to bring him back? You want to talk about caring, you're the emotionless, cold, and apathetic one!"
"Emotionless, cold, apathetic." Shino chanted the words repeatedly like they were a prayer. "You think I exhibit these traits? You think I don't have a collection of questions in my catalog of, why I didn't help save Sasuke? Where was I if I was there would I have been able to save my friends a lot of problems? You honestly think I wouldn't go back and change the past so I would be there for my friends? Even my teammates never let me forget that I let everyone down."
Shino looked down further the weight of his memories began to build up like an obscenely heavy backpack. As Shikamaru released the now calmer Sakura to her old seat, eyes of non-Team 8 members found their way to Kiba and Hinata staring in a curious manner.
"Is that true guys? Do you bring up the retrieval mission with Shino that often?" Ino asked cautiously.
Hinata responded first with a furious shake of the head. "No, I would never blame Shino for Sasuke getting away. He was on another mission, it wasn't his fault."
"Same here. I wouldn't blame Shino for a mission he wasn't a part of."
"Once again you've ignored what I said." Shino declared in an increasingly frustrated tone. "I didn't say that you blamed me for the mission being a failure. What I explicitly stated was that you never let me forget that my absence, during that mission, was a failure on my part, that in turn disappointed everyone."
"Shino I don't know what to say. I can't even think of a time when I talked about the mission with you." The sorrow in the Hyuuga's voice grew ever so slightly.
Scrunching his eyes uncomfortably Naruto finally chimed in. "I think what we need to just put this all behind us and continue with a nice dinner. Does that sound good?"
"That sounds great!" Choji immediately dug back into his food.
"Can you really just move one like that, Naruto? Act like nothing happened?"
"Of course Shino. Trust me, if anyone knows what it's like to be lonely and ignored it's me. And more than anything I wanted to escape from that feeling. The only way to do that is to move on and keep what happened in the past, in your memories. That's the only way you can move on and truly be happy." Naruto shined a trademark smile at the Aburame who seemed to be staring off into the distance. No one spoke, their bated breath only sated by the response from Shino.
"I agree. Why? If one festers in their own hatred and doesn't learn to forgive others, they are destined to be alone forever. Forgiveness is the only way to move on." The words brought smiles to every face at the table. Only to be quickly replaced with frowns. "However, this can only be true when there is a bond between the parties. If one party extends a hand and the other rejects, no bond is made, no forgiveness can be given."
"Why do you have to be so difficult!?" TenTen stood quickly, giving the table a good shake by hitting it with her legs. "We're trying to make up for something that I'm not really convinced we did in the first place. I don't think it's fair for you to act like a recluse for years and blame us for not treating you like everyone else. If you act like you want to be left alone, how do you really think people we treat you? We respected the distance we thought you wanted, and respected your decision to be the way you are. Because. You're. Our. Friend."
Sai bent over the table with the index finger of his right hand raised. "If I may interject. I see that there is some discrepancies that need to be cleared up. When Shino claims that he is being widely ignored, he is being accurate." The group recoiled slightly. "I'm not the best person to ask when it comes to friendships but from I've learned from my team, a clear line of dialogue needs to be established in order to create a bond. However, from what I've seen, that has never been established. It's a tentative partnership at best. And the growing frustration from Shino is probably the fact we constantly talk about how much friendship means to us yet we disregard that notion when he's in the mix. I'm reminded of the quote "The brighter the light, the darker the shadow". While we enjoy the warmth of a great light, Shino is experiencing the cold from the shadow we cast."
"I never thought of it like that," Lee said quietly to himself. The group nodded and bowed their heads in thoughtful contemplation. Had they really been so cold to someone so close?
"I think we need some examples." Sai continued. "Remember when the Kiba needed help making friends for Akamaru and most of us here, with the exception of myself and Shikamaru, went on board with it."
"And Shino wasn't there too." Ino pointed out.
"To you that maybe the case, but he actually was there. At the time I was drawing on a tree branch nearby, and overheard Shino offering TenTen to be her dog."
Shikamaru sweat dropped as he looked at his friends. "What exactly did I miss?"
"Nothing!" They all repeated with red faces, Shikamaru just held his face in his hands shaking his head disapprovingly.
"Nevertheless, Shino made the offer yet he was ignored. But I saw him waiting by a park bench that evening in a dog suit. My only conclusion is that he was there just in case you needed him."
Shino looked uncomfortable as the audience was suddenly turned on him again. With a meek yet unmistakable nod, he confirmed Sai's story.
"TenTen, do you even remember Shino offering his services."
"I can't say I do." she said quietly.
"Yet he did. That's the only situation I'm aware of, but if something like this goes entirely unnoticed isn't there a good chance it's happened before. Maybe even to the point that it causes someone to question whether or not they mean anything to you?"
A light sobbing noise came from the end of the bench. Hinata's face was red and her cheeks began to be stained by tears. With the exception of Sai and Shino respectively, everyone at the table seriously started to consider whether or not they were right. As she softly wept Hinata asked, "Tell me it isn't true Shino. Have we really treated you that badly over the years?"
'Is this the right thing to do? I wanted them to understand that they hurt my emotions but seeing Hinata like this. I hope I'm doing the right thing.'
"It is Hinata. These are truths that I'm glad Sai was able to elaborate better than I." Shino gave a small smirk to Sai who smiled right back.
"No problem Shino. Honesty and clarity needed to be added to the conversation and I thought I could provide assistance."
"Again, thank you."
"And again, no problem. Now to clarify your faults."
The table looked baffled at Sai Including Shino. "Pardon?"
"Your problem Shino is much easier and simpler to boil down. The reason why everyone ignores you, from what I gathered, you are boring, and your opinions are entirely irrelevant to basically anyone you've ever spoken to."
At that moment something snapped.
Slack-jawed and dazed, there wasn't a person at the table that didn't go numb. Their eyes nearly popped from their skulls and went white with shock. At a loss for words, no one spoke for a few minutes, the only sound is the buzzing of angry insects. Once they regained the ability to speak it was most accurately summed up by two-thirds of Team 8.
"What the hell man?"
"Sai, how could you say such a terrible thing?"
"No, he was honest. I can't condemn him or anything he's said tonight" Shino said darkly, garnering the attention of the table. "I respect Sai for his brutal honesty and ability to say what people truly think in no ambiguous manner. So I think I should be honest about my 'friends' too.
"S-Shino w-what do you mea. . ."
"Hinata, you're a cowardly fangirl who fawned over Uzumaki for reasons slightly less juvenile than that of Sakura's feelings for Sasuke."
"Hey, where did that come from?!" Sakura fumed as Hinata cried into Naruto's chest.
"Shikamaru, with your intelligence I was genuinely surprised you weren't able to figure out my plight before this. I guess I severely overestimated your abilities much like the Hokage did during the Sasuke retrieval mission."
The Nara gritted his teeth and scowled at Shino.
"Don't worry, you're nowhere near as bad as your teammates. I would count myself lucky to have not died with a girl whose jutsu I can't even remember successfully hindering anyone beyond a depressed drunkard. On the other hand, you have Choji who's too focused on food to actually develop as a proper ninja, that and is too afraid to face the reality that he, is indeed, fat."
Ino felt the anger swell in her heart but couldn't help but be overcome by fear at the sight of her big-boned friend.
"Kiba your entire purpose for being a ninja is a complete mystery to me now. You're nowhere near smart enough to be noticed in that regard. Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura have beaten you in physical prowess by an almost immeasurable amount. But I guess you can always fall back on what kennel Tsume built for you."
Kiba and Akamaru both began growling at Shino.
"Lee and TenTen, I can't really say anything about your persons in particular. All I can really mention is that even if you considered me forgettable, or unimportant, nevertheless, I kept my teammates alive."
Like a flame to water Lee and TenTen looked like they were hit with a massive tidal wave and any emotion besides depression was washed from their bodies.
"Finally Naruto Uzumaki, the hero of the world. I can't help but feel that your monologue about knowing what it's like to be alone is exaggerated in someway. Eventually, you did get friends, a lot of them, because they couldn't help but be drawn to the unending optimism and stupidity radiating from you. And gracious you would be so merciful to help people like Gaara find their way because you saw yourself in them. But that's just it, you saw yourself in them. It was about you the entire time. You didn't care about the person, just the fact they demonstrated a flaw in the delusionally happy world you created in your own mind and you had to fix that. Someone like me, however, someone who is lonely, could use a friend, you wouldn't extend your hand to, or take the time out to learn his damn name. Because you couldn't see yourself. You're a top-notch narcissist and hypocrite."
Naruto stared at Shino sadly holding an oddly quiet Hinata. Shino stood slamming his hands on the table his voice conveying a mixture of anger and sorrow unlike it ever did before.
"I only wanted you guys to admit that maybe, just maybe, you had hurt my feelings. That you had wronged me and that you recognized you were wrong. I wanted nothing more than to feel like I belonged with you. But no matter what I do I can't make you see! I don't want to move away from the pain I want you to acknowledge that you hurt me and that you care enough that your words, they made me sad. So very, very, sad. I just want to know you give, with no special circumstances, no over-the-top displays like now, an iota of a damn about me."
While the Aburame was catching his breath Hinata emerged from Naruto's arms, her eyes raw and angry.
"I think you should go home Shino. Before I do something to defend the memory of Neji and honor of his teammates that would give their lives to bring him back, go, before I lose myself."
A last scan of the room provided images of angered and hurt faces damaged by the truth spawned from pain. A teardrop couldn't be shed but sadness gripped the heart harder than any emotion. With nothing more on his mind, Shino hesitantly disappeared into a shroud of insects, leaving behind fellow leaf nin.
Inside the compound, Shino sat on his bed hood off and eyes free of glasses. He gazed into the dark abyss of his room. Tears dotted his face while exhaustion overtook his body. A yawn escaped his lips and Shino lied down for the night, sad, angry, and conflicted.