The Family Guy Fanfiction Awards!
Hey Guys, Material here, back for another feedback fic that talks about how good, or how not good, a peice of FG fanfiction is. Today, I will be hosting the first ever Awards show! We have authors and characters from all across the fandom. We have all sorts of awards, some good, some not so good, and some are just insults to throw at people who deserve it. So without further ado, Go Team 'No Life!'
Most Detailed Character Description
Not many characters were well described in the fanfics here, but when I finally got past the OC's, and looked at some of the canon characters, I noticed that there were a few that could win this award. Rosie Kennedy was a good nomination for this award. She was well described as soon as Meg passed her entire body. Meg Griffin was also a nomination for this. At the start of Whispering Illusion, she was given a detailed description of a new appearance for her, but it was scrapped about three chapters in. But I guesss the award would have to go to Malcolm Fox, for his description of Cody Murdock at the end of Meg's Boyfriend. Congrats Malcolm, we hope to see many new characters in the future.
Most Detailed Backstory
Bhaalspawn was a strong contender for this award. But he was disqualified for not really delving into the 'back' part of backstory. Haylias could also be nominated for this award for Alex Glenn. But I am sad to say that neither of these geniuses will get this award, because the genius that does has a better set of backstories than anybody else. The award goes to Ander Arias for Miriam, Lorraine, and Jeanne, a trio of Angry, and sadistic witches from the 17th century were at the height of their power, before they were captured and burned by the inquisition. But, however, this raises a question in me. If they were so powerful, how the hell did the inquisition capture them?
Stupidest Main Character
Matthew Ryder was a strong contender for this award. Some of you may be confused. In my review of OC's, I gave him a rather glowing rundown. Well, I felt if I delved into him anymore, I would get blamed for favoritism. While he was well written and well delivered, he was also incredibly over the top. Overly Heroic, way too acrobatic, and just has so many powers that rip off JRPG's and Sci Fi movies. However, this award goes, again, to Malcolm Fox for CJ Griffin, the completley retarded, and just all around useless character. CJ looks almost exactly like Chris, which makes sense in some points but not in others, but he's not really story essential in any chapters.
Most Awesome Weapon
There are really only three contenders for this award. Matthew's Spirit Blade is a big one. Zack's shotgun is also a good contender for this. However, the award goes to Miriam's Spellbook. This book is filled with sadistic curses, intricate spells, and even a few tricks that can decimate and entire town in a matter of days. If you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about, see the chapter 'Waterproof Griffins' for more info. Congratz Ander, you have officially topped Action writers in weapon awesomeness.
Least Entertaining Chapter
Adult Human Ninja Griffins (The Spellbook)
Funniest Cutaway Gag
There are many nominations for this Award. Haylias really spoke to the comedic choir with Chris's Earthquake gag. Ander Arias was all around funnny with the Breast Milk gag. Malcolm Fox made me wet myself with the Sugar Diet gag. But the award has to go to Bhaalspawn for the Nude Photo Mat gag. That was just hilarious beyond belief.
Most Interesting Faceless Voiceless Nameless Character
At first I thought, this award will go to Matthew Kennedy for sure, but he was disqualified for having a face and a name. Next I thought, how about that Drunk Guy at the 7/11 in Meg's boyfriend, but he was given a face and a name later on. So now, the award has to go to the Faceless, Voiceless, Nameless bastard from Chapter 12 of Whispering Illusion 2. He appeared at the end, and threatened Matt and Meg while they slept. While I guess he'll have a name by the end of the story, he is really the only contender as of this moment.
Funniest Fourth Wall Gag
I guess Matthew Ryder's little rant on Mila Kunis's annoying voice could be considered a fourth wall gag, and so could Stripes mentioning all the Lois Hentai on Brian's computer, the funniest gag would have to go to diablo666 for the Fourth Wall Police gag in High School Confidential. Meg realizes that their lives are being written by ametuers, so she runs off the set, only to be carried back in a potato sack by the Fourth Wall Police.
Most Unexpected Result
Zack's little prank with Death in Cheating Death in Meg's Boyfriend.
Dialouge That makes You Go "Awwwwwww"
The following is dialouge that has made us go awwwwwwwww
"Stewie! Stewie! It's okay!" said Maddie, "It was just a dream! What was it about anyway?"
Stewie just looks at Maddie for a few seconds. He then hugs her tightly and begins to cry loudly.
"I did it!" cried Stewie, "I'm back! You're back!"
"What are you talking about?" asked Maddie.
"It was horrible!" said Stewie, "We got into a fight and I went back through time and erased you from existence. Then your parents died and Cody and Bertram tried to kill me. Oh I was so sad and miserable without you!"
"Wow, I thought you said you hated everyone," said Maddie.
"I do!" said Stewie as he quickly stopped hugging her, "It's just... well, I apparently strongly tolerate you and that it has nothing to do with love."
Maddie then kisses Stewie in the cheek.
"I love you too, Uncle Stewie," said Maddie as she hugged him.
"Wow. I always knew my sister had poor taste in men, but damn! A dog?" said Zack, "Anyway, where was I? Oh yes. It just makes me so mad that everyone, even your own family, makes fun of you and call you ugly, so I always defend you. When I look at you, I don't see fat, or ugly. I see someone who could be my destined soulmate. Meg, I love you."
Meg then blinked for a moment. She didn't know what to say. She never met anyone who felt this way about her. It almost made her cry. In fact it did.
"Oh Zack!" said Meg as she leapt into his arms and kissed him on the cheeks, "I love you too."
"The DJ's still here," said Zack, "Would you like to have this last dance?"
"I'd love to" said Meg as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Zack put his hands on her hips and they danced the night away. They were hoping that the song and this night would never end...
"..." Jaina was speechless, "My father encouraged you to ask me out?"
"Well, not you persay," Stewie said, "But I told him I had an affection for a girl, and was unsure of what to do about it, and he said 'go for it.'"
"I don't know," Jaina said. She had always felt a little affection for Stewie, but it never went that far.
Stewie leaned in and kissed her. Jaina was caught off guard, but she quickly melted into his arms. Stewie ran a hand over one of her wings, feeling the soft feathers that covered it.
When he pulled back from her, she was flushed and a little disoriented.
"You know, there's a dance tommorow night," Stewie said, "You want to go with me?"
"..." Jaina was still trying to clear her mind, "Yeah, sure."
Matt took some moments for answer.
"No," said dryly. Everybody then gasped.
"I knew it," said Meg ⌠Then, I don't want to go ahead with this. The wedding is over! I don't want to marry somebody who doesn't loves me!" shouted Meg, who was about to leave, but Matt grabbed her by the arm. "What do you want?"
"Meg, if you weren't pregnant, will you still marry me?" asked Matt. That question surprised Meg.
"No," said Meg almost without think her answer, which surprised her. "No, I mean that-" tried to rectify, but to increase her confusion, Matt was smiling.
"Meg, we're both 18, still go to high school and live at our parent's place. None of us is ready to get married. But although I probably will not marry you if you weren't pregnant, I'll still love you and be your boyfriend. And I'm pretty sure you feel the same," explained Matt. "Meg, I love you since the day I met you for first time, and it will be a pleasure to be your husband."
"Oh, Matt!" said Meg, moved, as she hugged him.
"Hamster In A Wheel" Moments
"How about if I share my room with Matt?" asked Meg. "Besides, we're going to be married soon. He can sleep with me."
"I don't know..." said Lois, a bit uneasy of that idea.
"And if he would pay a rent?" asked Meg again.
"Tell me how, I have no job!" said Matt.
"Don't worry; I'm sure you'll get a job soon. It won't be hard. Besides, even Meg has a job!" said Peter, as everybody laughed at his remark.
"Yeah, even I-EH!" shouted Meg angry, in realization.
Matt chuckled as he stuck it in his wallet. His gloating was short lived though, as they heard a soft, gentle voice scream out in pain. matt leapt from his seat, and hurlted upstairs to his daughter's room. Kicking the door opened, he wrapped a telekinetic grip around the throat of the person standing over her. He slammed this person into the wall, and put his sword to it's neck.
"Alright you son of a bitch! I have every intention to kill you right...oh it's you," he said, letting Meg go, "What the hell is going on here?"
Stewie instantly stopped shaking, "Oh that's a relief! What moron decideds to have a child at such a young age anyway?"
"Yeah, who would be that stupid?" Matt said, chuckling. Then, Meg gave him a very strange look, "Wait a minute...HEY!"
Peter placed a hand on Matt's head, "Just a hamster in wheel isn't it?"
"At least my hamster's actually running!" Matt shot back.
"What happened to that job at the McDonalds?" asked Brian.
"I quit," said Matt. "A lot of stupid jerks go to eat there, and I couldn't resist it anymore."
"I know perfectly what you are talking about," said Peter "Last week I went to the McDonalds in the downtown and I was attended by a very nagging and bad tempered kid," explained Peter.
"Really?" asked Matt "I also had to attend a very stupid guy who hadn't made his mind about what was about to eat."
"God, I'm sure that guy was a total asshole who ignores most of his family and abuses his daughter," said Peter.
"Yeah, and I'm also sure that the kid who attended you was a stupid brat married to some pregnant dorky girl," said Matt, and he high five Peter.
I don't... feel so good..." she groaned as she limply fell to the floor.
"Maddie?" Meg asked as she held her up, "Maddie?"
"I know," said Stewie, "She kept falling down to take a nap ALL DAY while we were outside. She's such a weakling."
"Whoa" Moments
Maddie quickly bursts through the door of her room, still screaming and running around in a circle.
"What the deuce is all the fussing about?!?" asked Stewie.
"My parents!!! They... I... space... baby... I... AAAAAHHHHHH!!!" she screamed again.
"Pull yourself together!" shouted Stewie as he slapped her.
"Thanks... I needed that," said Maddie, "Now say that I've been a bad girl!"
(Flashback)
Meg, Lois and Peter are watching TV, where there is a newscast at Herbert's house.
"And in local news, Old man Herbert was found brutally beaten and killed at his house on Spooner Street today," Diane said.
"Yes, Police are not yet sure of the suspect, but it is suggested he may be incredibly violent," Tom said, "Who would want to attack a harmless old man anyway?"
At that statement, Matt walked into the house, his sword over his shoulder. It was dripping with blood, and Matt was whistling a merry tune. Jaina was right behind him.
"I found Jaina," Matt said.
"Matt, do you know anything about this?" Meg asked, pointing to the news.
"Well..."
(Inter-Flashback Flashback)
Matt knocks on Herbert's door. When he opens the door, Jaina comes running out to him.
"Hi dad," she said, "We were about to play a game."
"Uh, there's no need to talk about that missy," Herbert said nervously.
"What game was this?" Matt asked calmly. He knew Herbert was gay, so she was in no danger here.
"The prize is candy!" Jaina said excitedly, "And he said all I have to do is close my eyes and suck it from a hose!"
Matt kept the calm look and smile on his face, then turned to the disgusting old man.
"Say Herbert," Matt said cheerfully, "You see this sword strapped to my hip?"
(I really have to thank Bhaal for giving me this flashback in advance to use for my feedback fic)
Suddenly, a beaten up James Woods and Mel Gibson burst through the door along with Joe Swanson.
"There they are officer!" said Gibson.
"Arrest that baby and that madman you call a mayor!" said Woods.
"Maddie, would you care to explain?" asked Joe.
"What's going on, Maddie?" asked Meg as she crossed her arms.
Maddie then began to start fake crying.
"THEY TOUCHED ME INAPPROPRIATELY!" she sobbed.
"They WHAT?!" shouted Zack.
"YOU SICK PERVERTED BASTARDS!" shouted Meg angrily, "YOU'RE THE ONES WHO NEED TO BE ARRESTED! NOT HER!"
"What?" asked Gibson, "But she's lying!"
"She's faking it!" shouted Woods, "SHE BROKE MY FREAKING LEGS WITH A BAT!!"
"Tell it to the judge!" said Joe as he cuffed them and escorted them of the area, "You children touchers make me sick! Don't forget to save me some cake."
"Didn't you just leave out the window?" Meg said, pointing to the ground outside.
Matt looked at the footprints, then got even more worried, "Um...no."
Meg tried to put it behind her, then decided to get changed for bed. She rifled through her dresser, then turned to her husband.
"Why is all my underwear missing?" she asked.
"I have no ide-oh I really hate that neighbour of ours," Matt said, climbing into bed, and trying to get some sleep, but not before sealing the wondow shut so nobody could get back in.
Well, that concludes my litle adventure in Sport Spoiling. If you have any other ideas for Awards I can hand out, let me know and I'll get right on it.