Title: Envious Feelings

Author: Jotaku

Summary: What if Envy hadn't committed suicide, and a play of fate let him live? What if he changed his mind, changed sides? Decided maybe being understood was more important than trying to squash his own envy? (MANGAVERSE! This does NOT follow the anime, so if you haven't read the manga up to chapter 95, I suggest you go to google and search up FMA manga online, and READ! c'B)

Rating: MA (for later chapters)

Warnings: M/M, sex, (probably) violence, language. I have not fully finished planning this story, or written the plot down. So, I am warning you now, I MIGHT drop this. This fic is one of the few where I do not plan anything, just write.

Chapter Warnings: Spoilers

Disclaimer: I do not own Envy, or Ed, or any of the other amazingly awesome FMA characters. ;A; Because if I did, well... let's just say it would be a HELL of a lot different. xD;

Proglogue: Change in Sequence of Events

A small, ugly, parasitic worm lay at the feet of four humans. They were alchemists (besides the girl, but she was with one), and its enemies. It hated them, with its entire core. They were as vile as the floor he was laying on, which was covered in blood and only God knows what else. Not that it believed in God, but it was a fitting phrase all the same. Along with blood, the floor was burnt--the walls too--leaving large, ugly, black marks everywhere. A wall was half blown away as well. These were the signs of their battle. The worm had lost, and was no longer the 'adorable' human it took shape of, nor its grotesque, natural form. Now the worm was simply a worm. A homunculus parasitic worm, but a worm none the less. To the world, this worm was known as Envy, even though Envy was not known as a worm. Only the four here, and a few others knew this was him. He hated being like that, being an 'it', which was the only thing he could think of to describe himself as. He was disgusting, and even he knew that. It was the reason behind his choice of normal form.

Envy was envious of the humans; envious of their forms, of their ability to bounce back, of their friendships. He hated this fact about him, and hated them because they could make him feel envy, the emotion he was named after, so he wanted to kill them all. If you destroy the thing you are envious of, you won't feel envy, would you?

But still, he had never admitted any of these feelings to anyone. The other homunculi didn't give a rat's ass about him, and Father only had him around to help complete his plan. They used each other, and that was all. They wouldn't care about his feelings. So instead, he focused on dealing with them himself and did the one thing he could think of to make himself feel better; killing humans. He tried to squash as many as he could along his path and revelled in their cries and sorrow. He was proud of the fact that he had started the Ishibalan war. It had killed so many…

And then that stupid brat had to figure him out. He had to realize that Envy was envious of them. That stupid, defiant, shrimp of a brat had to go and understand him. Why?!

Why did it have to be him, of all people?

Why?!

"…And the worst of all, the lowest, most disgusting one of you…," the homunculus worm continued his hysteric raging, yelling at each of the alchemists around him, "That fucking kid, is the only one who understands how I feel! It's the ultimate insult!"

Envy could feel tears coming to his large, wide eyes. He never remembered crying before, but he knew he was then. He could feel the sting, like strings pulled taunt, and the damn broke as they pulled, letting his tears run through. He hated himself and hated these humans, yet he was so jealous of them. The homunculus wanted what they had. He wanted to be human.

"GYYAAAHHHH!!" He desperately screamed out his frustration. Envy wanted to die, yet didn't want to die at all. He could feel his insides tearing apart at his pain. This pain had been buried inside him for generations, slowly building as the time moved on. With such simple words from just one human, they were ripped out and put on display for the world to experience. It hurt so badly!

The humans around him stood silent for a moment, giving him their pity, but as the cry simmered down to a scratching, wretched sob, the girl, Riza, stepped forward with her gun ready in hand. "It's time we ended this."

One shot was all it would take. One shot, and the little worm called Envy would be gone forever. He was already at his limit, one more life, this life, was the only one he had left. When he died it would be the end. The final death. But fate wasn't ready to let Envy die. It had plans for him later down the road. He would have to live with his envious feelings just a little longer.

Suddenly, the wall that had been cracked and partially destroyed by the Fire Alchemist's earlier frustration boomed open. Exploded bits of rock and debris were sent flying everywhere, and the four humans and the little Envy worm were blasted back along with them.

Envy was forgotten, and instead all eyes focused on what had broken through the wall. Before them were countless numbers of those zombie-like super soldiers, groaning and screaming as they pushed through the opening. Drool hung from their open and searching mouths, and their single eyes were wide and searching. Once they were spotted, the eyes only saw the prey in front of them.

Humans!

If they could smile, they would have. Four humans had been found, more food for their ever-hungry stomachs. Though their brains were slow and dimwitted, they all were able to think one unanimous thought. It's time to feast!

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I'll try to get the first chapter up today. I'm kinda posting as I write/finish a chapter. Let me know if I make spelling errors or if I have any irregularities. Reviews are not NEEDED, but they ARE nice. -w-;; And they make me want to write more.