The disclaimer saying I don't own any Invader Zim characters got blown up by Mars. This idea is just madness. Something I thought up after Battle of the Planets. MADNESS!

Doom For Operation Impending Doom

"Okay so I didn't destroy the stinky humans but at least I wrecked Mars," Zim rationalized again. It was the end of a terrible day when another plan to destroy the Earth had failed.

"Stupid Dib Stinky Monkey Big Head! He would have to find another planet that was also a spaceship!" Zim grumbled. "At least you did one thing right Gir by taking the Dib's camera so he couldn't expose our cover."

"Smile! Smile!" Gir was happily taping Zim with Dib's camera.

"Gir! Put that stupid camera down and…" Zim began. Then his computer started to beep.

"Long distance communication from the Tallest," Zim's Computer spoke.

"Already? They must really be impressed by my progress," Zim blinked.

"Either that or they didn't believe your lie about destroying Mars," The Computer spoke.

"You know Computer, one of these days I'm going to have to erase your faulty artificial intelligence program!" Zim bristled as he answered the call. "AGAIN!"

"Hello Zim," Purple growled. The Tallest glared at him.

"Greetings my Tallest! I didn't expect you to call me so soon!" Zim preened.

"Believe me, neither did we," Purple moaned. Something exploded in the background.

"Uh Zim you know that indestructible planet weapon you were talking about ten minutes ago?" Red sighed. "You didn't happen to lose it did you?"

"Define lose?" Zim blinked.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"LOSE! AS IN DON'T HAVE IT ANYMORE!" Red screamed as something else exploded in the background.

"Oh yeah. That's right. I got rid of it," Zim shrugged.

"WE KNOW! THREE GUESSES WHERE IT IS!" Red yelled as there was another explosion heard.

"Istanbul!" Gir shouted.

"No…" Purple growled.

"Constantinople!" Gir shouted.

"That's the same place," The Computer said.

"It is?" Gir blinked. "Okay I get to guess again."

"It's here! Near the planet Blorch!" Red yelled. "We were doing the final assault on the conquered planet which we now have to reconquer thanks to you!"

"Reconquer? How did that happen?" Zim blinked.

"BOOOOOOOOOOOM!"

"Well it's kind of a funny thing," Purple said sarcastically. "We were here with the fleet and the decontamination crew just staring work on cleansing the planet of any remaining life forms. You know how it works. And after we gave Skoodge the honor of being shot out of a blaster and being the first volley onto the planet's surface, killing him instantly…"

"KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"

The Planet Mars was seen behind them on the view screen, trashing and destroying every Irken ship in sight. "WHEN THIS STUPID THING JUMPED OUT OF HYPERSPACE AND STARTED DESTROYING ALL OUR SHIPS!" Purple screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Oh well I see my indestructible ship is doing it's job," Zim said proudly.

"IT'S DOING IT'S JOB ON US!" Red yelled. "We've already lost the entire planetary decontamination fleet and ten ships in the Massive's escort armada!"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"Make that eleven ships," Purple sighed.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"Twelve…No thirteen ships," Purple sighed.

"Zim! Come to Blorch and get your stupid unstoppable planet ship before it destroys us!" Red ordered.

"Right away my Tallest!" Zim saluted. The transmission ended.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"Fourteen ships…" Purple moaned.

"I should have known something like this would have happened," Red put his hand on his head. "Zim's screwing up Operation Impending Doom Two just the same as he did Operation Impending Doom One!"

BOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"Fifteen ships and a small moon," Purple sighed.

"How does he do it? How does he do it?" Red yelled. "Even when he's not here he makes our lives a living nightmare! A living Zim infested nightmare full of doom and destruction!"

"Oh look one of the destroyed ships crash landed on Blorch," Purple looked at the monitor. "The crew survived. Oh wait, the rat monsters are now tearing them to pieces. Never mind."

"It just doesn't make any sense!" Red moaned. "How does Zim do it? We are the most powerful and perfect empire in the universe except for one Irken…One insane Irken with powers of destruction and chaos unparalleled in the history of our entire species... Zim is ruining our lives! He's ruining our empire! HE'S RUINING EVERYTHING AND HE DOESN'T EVEN TRY VERY HARD TO DO IT!"

"And there goes ship number sixteen," Purple sighed.

"Why don't you just blow up the planet?" Skoodge asked as he climbed up on the podium.

"Why don't we just blow up the planet?" Red asked sarcastically without looking to see who spoke. "Like we haven't already tried that you…"

He and Purple turned and looked behind them. They did a double take. "SKOODGE!" They yelled.

"You're alive?" Purple yelled.

"Yes, my Tallest!" Skoodge saluted. "I am alive!"

"How? How could you still be alive?" Purple yelled.

"WE SHOT YOU OUT OF A CANNON INTO OUTER SPACE AND RIGHT INTO THE PLANET! HOW THE FLORK DID YOU SURVIVE YOU LITTLE CREEP?" Red yelled.

"It's quite an interesting story…" Skoodge began.

"I don't care! I just don't care!" Red stopped him. "Oh this is just… This just… This is just the perfect end to a perfect day isn't it? Just the cherry on the ice cream sundae of stupidity!"

"I don't believe it! What does it take to get rid of you two?" Purple snapped at Skoodge. "Really? Between you and Zim we're lucky to have any empire at all!"

"I just can't take it anymore," Red sobbed openly. "I just can't take it!"

"Are you happy Skoodge?" Purple snapped as he patted Red on the back. "Are you happy? Look at what you and Zim have done! You made Red cry! I hope you're proud of yourself! There, there Red. It's going to be all right."

"No! It's not all right! It's never going to be all right!" Red sobbed.

"Yes it will! Just don't worry Red," Purple hugged Red. "Shhh! It's okay. It's going to be okay."

Purple glared at Skoodge. "Well Skoodge are you happy? Does it make you feel like a big Invader making your Tallest cry? Does it? Are you a big Irken now? HUH? Does squishing our feelings and our dreams make you feel tall? That how you get your kicks? Huh Skoodge? Is it?"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Red sobbed wildly.

"Well if your mission was to hurt Red's feelings and shred his dreams into tiny little pieces," Purple snarled. "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED SKOODGE! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!"

Skoodge's eyes watered. "I'M SORRY MY TALLEST! WAAAAHHH!" He sobbed and grabbed Purple by the legs. "I DIDN'T MEAN TO! WAAAAHH!"

"WAAHHHHHHH!" Red cried as well as he hung onto Purple.

Purple just stood there. "It's not easy being the strong one…" He moaned.

Suddenly the Massive lurched hard to the left. All three of them were flown to the side of the ship and hit the wall hard. "WHAT IS GOING ON NOW?" Red yelled.

Skoodge pointed to the monitor. The planet Mars was coming towards the Massive fast. And as massive as the Massive was, Mars was much more massive. "Oh…" Red gulped. "GET US OUT OF HERE!"

"Sir! It's too big and too fast! We can't get out of the way!" One of the pilots of the Massive screamed.

"HERE IT COMES! AAAAAAAAAAAHHH! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Red, Purple and Skoodge screamed as they held each other.

"CURSE YOU ZIM! CURSE YOU! AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Red screamed.

They waited for an impact. And waited. And waited. "Hey…We're not dead," Purple realized as he opened an eye.

He saw that the surface of Mars was very close to the front of the ship. In fact, they could see the sand on the ground. But the planet wasn't moving. "Sir…I believe the planet ship is out of fuel," An Irken reported.

"We're saved!" Purple cheered.

"YAY! We're not gonna die!" Skoodge cheered.

"Well most of us aren't," Red growled as he kicked Skoodge off the podium. "Get us out of here!"

"Sir another ship is emerging from hyper space," An Irken reported. "We're being hailed."

"HELLO MY TALLEST! ZIM IS HERE!" Zim shouted cheerfully.

"Ohhhh," Purple shuddered. "ZIM! Prepare our most powerful laser cannons and fire on…"

"NO! We need him to take this away!" Red snapped. "We'll blow him up later!"

"I'm here my Tallest! I'll dock my ship on the Massive and…" Zim began.

"NO! Zim listen very carefully," Red gritted his teeth. "I want you to put that planet back exactly where you found it! You hear me? Put it back where you found it! GOT IT?"

"Yes my Tallest," Zim nodded. "But…"

"Did you hear my orders?" Red asked.

"Yes my Tallest," Zim said.

"Repeat 'em back to me," Red said. "Just tell me what I said to you."

"Uh…" Zim blinked.

"You can't remember what he told you to do two seconds ago?" Purple screamed.

"Yes I can! You want me to bring Mars back to Earth," Zim said.

"Yes!" Red snapped.

"So I can use it to take over…" Zim began.

"NO! NO! NO!" Red shouted. "Zim listen to me! This is very, very, very, very important! After you put the planet back where you found it, I want you to leave it there! You understand Zim? Just leave it there! I never want you to go near that planet again! Got it?"

"But…" Zim began.

"GOT IT ZIM?" Red screamed.

"But..I…"

"NO ZIM! WHAT PART OF NO DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?" Red shouted. "The N or the O?"

"So…You want me to put it back?" Zim's antennae drooped.

"Yes!" Red shouted.

"And you don't want me to use it to take over the Earth and destroy the humans?" Zim asked.

"Bingo!" Red snapped.

"Oh! I see! Yes I suppose this weapon is too valuable to use against the disgusting humans," Zim nodded. "And by hiding it back in the Earth's solar system we can keep it a secret from our enemies."

"Yeah let's go with that excuse," Red grumbled.

"Just tow that thing out of here and back where it belongs!" Purple snapped.

"Very well my Tallest! Your praise for me finding a weapon such as this is much appreciated!" Zim saluted.

"But we didn't…" Purple looked confused. "Oh forget it! Just get it out of here Zim!"

The transmission was cut. "I just hate that guy," Red snarled.

"Me too," Purple asked. "So what do we do now?"

"Gather together what's left of the fleet and head for home," Red sighed. "You know, all the ones that haven't been destroyed or eaten by rat monsters."

"Yeah they can bite really hard," Skoodge popped his head up.

"Except for Skoodge. Send him back to Blorch to reconquer it!" Red snapped his fingers. Two Irken soldiers grabbed Skoodge and dragged him away screaming.

"You want me to start plans on Operation Impending Doom Three?" Purple asked.

CRASH! BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"Sorry! HEY! GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Zim was heard screaming as he towed Mars through space. He was hitting stray spacecraft and destroying them with his flying.

"That might not be a bad idea…" Red moaned as his antennae drooped.