A puppet took away the disclaimer saying that I don't own any Invader Zim characters. Just some madness inspired by Battle of the Planets. MADNESS!
It Runs Rampant In the Family
It was several minutes since Gaz had last heard Dib's mad rantings from his room and she had yelled at him to shut up. The irony was that now that Dib was quiet she wanted him to talk.
"All right Dib! My game slave is out of juice. Where are the spare batteries?" Gaz kicked open his room. "I know you put them somewhere. So where…?"
She looked around. Dib's room was empty. "Where are you now that I need you?" She was furious.
"Typical…" She stormed out of the room, knowing Dib wasn't stupid enough to hide the batteries in his room. "When I want him to shut up he keeps talking. When I need him to say something to me he runs off! Stupid Dib!"
"Hi Gaz! How are you this evening?" A small squeaky voice chirped.
Gaz looked up and saw her father with a tiny Membrane puppet on his lap. "Oh no…" Gaz's eye twitched when she saw what was in the living room. "Not the puppet."
"Hello Gaz! Since your brother has gone insane and left the house I thought maybe you and me and Mini Membrane here can spend some quality time!" Membrane said cheerfully. "We can talk about science!"
"Science!" Mini Membrane chirped.
"Figures. Probably the one time I want Dib to ask me to help him save the stupid world…" Gaz grumbled. "If only to get out of the house."
"Oh your brother is out there being crazy," Membrane sighed. "Saying something about saving the world and Mars and some other nonsense."
"Gotta give him credit," Gaz remarked. "At least he came up with an excuse to leave this dump."
"It's so sad, my poor insane son," Membrane sighed. "How could this happen? Where and when did he go so mad? How did this happen? The mystery of my son's madness eludes me like some kind of elusive thing!"
"Yeah how did that happen?" Mini Membrane asked, his little arms flailing around. "Why is he so crazy?"
"I think I can figure out a few pieces of the puzzle," Gaz gave her father a look.
"But let's see this as an opportunity for some bonding!" Membrane said cheerfully. "Just you and me without your crazy brother! We'll spend the whole night together!"
"Isn't it great!" Mini Membrane cheered.
"A dream come true," Gaz said. "And like all my dreams it's turned into a nightmare!"
"You know Gaz I'm starting to wonder if Dib really is the one to inherit the Membrane Empire," Membrane sighed. "He just doesn't seem to get it. Now you…You get it don't you Gaz?"
"Oh trust me Dad," Gaz started to twitch. "Dib will get it when he gets home."
"I think it's time I started training you to follow in my footsteps," Membrane said. "Just in case your brother never snaps out of being insane. You are my backup plan! Yes! You're my smart funny sane child!"
"And Dib is going to be your dead child…" Gaz gritted her teeth. "Now I remember the real reason why I don't kick Dib out of the house!"
"Come now Gaz! Let's talk about the wonders of Science!" Membrane cheered.
"SCIENCE!" Mini Membrane chirped.
"Science! Science! Science! Science!" Membrane began to sing. "Ooh! I think I just made up a song! Science! Science! Science…"
"Is there anyone in this stupid family that's not crazy?" Gaz gritted her teeth.
"Well technically you've got an aunt and an uncle or two somewhere," Mini Membrane spoke.
"Forget them. I never told the children that for a good reason! They're crazy!" Membrane remarked.
"We have other relatives?" Gaz raised an eyebrow. "And they're crazier than…Dib?" All her life Gaz never knew there were any other members of her family that were still alive except for her immediate family.
"You think that would be hard to top but yes," Mini Membrane shrugged. "Totally bonkers! Science!"
"Unfortunately it seems Dib has a slight touch of the family madness but what are you gonna do?" Membrane shrugged. "Fortunately Gaz you and I are totally sane! SCIENCE!"
"Dib's teacher is right," Gaz moaned. "We're all doomed."
"I know Mini Membrane! Let's make up a song about science so we can inspire the children!" Membrane talked to his alter ego. "Science! Science! Science! Science!"
"I gotta get outta here…" Gaz's eye began to twitch.
"Science! Science! Science! Science!" Mini Membrane sang along with Membrane. Neither noticed Gaz sneaking off to her room.
"I'm already starting to go insane," Gaz grumbled as she went to her room. "I'm talking to myself. That's a sure sign of Membrane Madness."
The next morning…
"No one knows where the mysterious giant object came from or where it went," The reporter said. "All we know is that we were seconds away from complete and total annihilation!"
Gaz and Dib were watching the television eating cereal. "Let me guess, Zim?" Gaz sighed.
"Yup. Planet Mars is really a spaceship," Dib said.
"So for once Zim had a weapon that actually worked?" Gaz raised an eyebrow.
"Uh huh," Dib nodded.
"Do I want to know how you stopped him?" Gaz sighed.
"Planet Mercury is a spaceship too," Dib said. "I sent it back using auto pilot."
"Oh," Gaz said. "You're pretty depressed for someone who just saved the world."
"Gir stole my camera," Dib grumbled. "Once again I have no proof."
"Heh, that's funny," Gaz snickered.
"Yeah a laugh riot," Dib grumbled as he ate his cereal.
"Dad had the puppet out again," Gaz told him.
"I know…" Dib growled. "I hate the puppet."
"So do I…" Gaz growled. "And you left me with both of them!"
"You told me this morning you had no interest in helping me save the world yesterday and if I even thought of suggesting it to you, you'd pound my face in!" Dib snapped.
"Oh right…" Gaz realized. "Okay I'm adding the puppet clause to that threat. Unless Dad has the puppet out I don't want you bugging me. If he does have the puppet out…"
"Yeah, yeah…Get you out of the house and away from him," Dib nodded. "I got it. But the same goes with me too. Even if you're going to some kind of thing."
"When do I ever go to a thing?"
"I dunno. I mean there's always a first time right?" Dib asked.
"Fine. Deal."
"Deal," Dib nodded. "I hate that puppet!"
"Yes, the puppet is evil and must be destroyed," Gaz gnashed her teeth.
"We tried that before. Remember?" Dib groaned. "I mean who keeps a puppet vending machine in his lab?"
"He wants me to follow in his footsteps Dib!" Gaz snapped. "Me!"
"Welcome to the club," Dib grumbled.
"I think he's finally getting the hint of what a loser you are and now he's focusing on me! And not in a good way!" Gaz snapped. "There is no way on Earth I'm going to be stuck in his stupid labs doing stupid science stuff all day!"
"But Gaz you like science stuff," Dib blinked. "You make evil robot monsters all the time!"
"For my personal enjoyment and security," Gaz snapped. "Not to sell them as weapons or help stupid mankind!"
"Oh right," Dib narrowed his eyes. "Heaven forbid you do something to help people other than you."
"Exactly!" Gaz snapped. "Oh yeah there's lots of money to be made and power and stuff but we both know that all the cash will be funneled back into the stupid labs. And I have to do stuff instead of playing video games and having time to myself."
"And no amount of money is worth you losing any time to yourself," Dib added. "Or helping others."
"See, you get it! Why doesn't Dad?" Gaz groaned. "And we all know if I sold weapons I made to people sooner or later somebody would figure out a way to turn them on me! And I'm not going to fall into that ironic trap!"
"Uh huh," Dib nodded.
"This is all your fault! You're supposed to be the heir to the freaking Membrane Empire throne or whatever," Gaz snapped. "Why do you have to be so crazy and pro paranormal junk anyway?"
"Gaz, you've been to Dad's labs," Dib sighed. "Do you know how many assistants Dad goes through in a month?"
"The ones that survive or total?" Gaz blinked. "Oh wait…"
"And remember when we were little and Dad had the brilliant idea to try and have the world's first baby lab assistants?" Dib sighed.
"Uhhhhhhh," Gaz shuddered. "I still have nightmares about those singing mice/parrot hybrids.
"And you still have to ask me why I don't share Dad's love of science and have no desire to follow in his footsteps?" Dib asked. "Besides I tried it once and it didn't work out."
"Oh right," Gaz said. "Now that I think about it, I guess even I can't blame you completely for this one. You still share some blame but not all."
"That's all I'm saying."
"I guess you're not completely stupid after all," Gaz folded her arms.
"Thanks a lot," Dib grumbled.
"Yeah well how do I get Dad off my back?" Gaz asked.
"Well he's not here so odds are he's working on his latest project," Dib shrugged. "He'll probably forget about you for at least a few weeks. And if he remembers I suggest having a little 'accident' in the lab. Make him think you're clumsy or something."
"Hmmm, nothing says unreliable and unfit for science like third degree burns," Gaz thought. "Good plan."
"And if you do burn something, please Gaz burn that stupid puppet vending machine," Dib shrugged.
"Oh I was already planning on doing that," Gaz shrugged.
"Good…He he…The puppet must die! Next to Zim the puppets are the true enemy!" Dib snickered. "Maybe I can get Zim to fight the puppets? Yes…If Zim fights the puppets, then both my enemies will destroy each other! HA HA HA!"
"Maybe I'll get lucky and our family's insanity limits themselves to the male members of the family?" Gaz grumbled as she left the room.