I finally decided to get around and write my very first Kuroshitsuji fic. It only took like six months, but hey, its finished. ^^ I wrote this in right around three hours, so hopefully, it won't suck too bad.
Disclaimer: Me no own Kuroshitsuji. If I did, Sebastian would be shirtless. Permanently. (I would say naked, but I wouldn't want to be charged with murder due to rampart nosebleeds. XP)
This was mostly written to toy around in Sebastian's point of view, which proved to be inherently difficult to do. But this fandom needed more Sebastian love (and I don't necessarily mean with a warm Ciel topping, either). I just really wanted to get inside his head, and see if I could showcase his disdain for the human race. XDD
Enjoy!
This has been beta'd, by a dear friend of mine. ^^ If you find any errors, let me know so I can proceed to use them against her.
Feelings.
Even in all of the time Sebastian had spent existing in this world, the very word continued to baffle him.
No, not baffle. Perhaps elude would be the better term for it.
The very thing that caused the war, death, faminetorturepain that the human race seemed to thrive on. Feelings.
This was not to mean that Sebastian did not feel. The sense of having a death scythe tear and rip into the skin of his shoulder, coming close to cracking, shredding, bone. He had felt that, as a deadened, numbed sensation that did little more than tickle. The sense of being slapped by his young master, which he also felt with desensitized nerves. The slap didn't hurt, in the physical sense. It instead caused a slight flash of resentment in briefly cerise cat eyes.
In this body that wasn't his, sensations were deadened. Even the whip that had been so skillfully wielded by that fallen angel had only caused him the pain perhaps equivalent to an ant's bite. A mild itch, at best.
Sometimes he found himself musing, faintly amused, on the feelings of the humans, not the sensations. The happycheerfuljoy that they seemed to crave. The loveangerpain that seemed to drive his young master further and further into the darkness of his heart.
These were all things that eluded Sebastian, even in the thousands of years he had existed. And as such, he found himself continually surprised by how fierce those emotions could be.
Demons had no such thing as loyalty, even to those they bound themselves to and swore to serve. Demons had no such thing as worship, the very thing that caused human to believe that those who wore the double crown were reincarnated of the falcon-headed god so very long ago.
It was laughable, really; humans' ability to believe in such things with no tangible evidence.
Demons had no time for such stupidity, for patience. That blind faith was something they, as a whole, truly lacked.
Love lustbeautyadoration, these were all lost to Sebastian. Despite his seemingly endless knowledge on every aspect of human life, he failed to see what the allure of these were. He wasn't so stupid as to not see the borderline-obsessive adoration the other servants, especially Meirin, had for him. He simply chose to pretend ignorance, unless it served some greater purpose for either him or his young master.
It was that very aspect that allowed him to use others' fear of him, such as that fool Soma's, against them to make them his bidding.
Was that what his dearest young master would call being a manipulative ass?
The very thought made garnet eyes glitter and thin lips curl into a devilish smile.
Perhaps the only feeling Sebastian could find himself acknowledging was admiration. He could occasionally find himself admiring the sheen of a cat's coat, the gleam of their eyes, the throaty rumbling of their purring against his fingers as their heads butted against him for more attention.
And on the rare occasion, he could find himself admiring his own young master.
Whenever young master performed something that fooled others, or tricked others, or mercilessly ordered his so-called knight to slaughter another human being, Sebastian found himself admiring his young master.
For all the millennia Sebastian had existed, under different visages and different names, it was rare to find a human with such demonic tendencies.
To think it was feelings and sensations that gave way to such malicious tendencies, feelings so vivid he could seem them in the occasional white-hot flash of emotion in his young master's sapphire eye and in the harsh curve of the boy's lips, it was completely unfathomable to the demon.
But even as he slid smoothly into a mockingly respectful bow, with the untruthful smile and knowing burgundy eyes hidden behind thick lashes and a sultry, murmured 'Yes, my lord", feelings were not needed.
He was only the knight, after all.
If there's something you don't understand and I don't get it here, feel free to let me know and I'll try to explain it. ^^
Bigass Wall of Notes (Okay, Not Really):
1.) The 'falcon-headed god' mentioned is Horus, of the ancient Egyptian religion. Contrary to popular belief, Pharaohs were actually considered to be the god Horus in life and Osiris in death. Horus was frequently depicted as having the head of a falcon and the body of a man. The 'double crown' was the headdress worn by the kings after the two parts of Egypt were joined. It's also a reference to the fact that Sebastian apparently knew a pharaoh, which is majorly badass.
2.) Yes, I purposefully mushed the emotions together. It has a reason.
3.) I have this theory that says that everytime Sebastian joins a new master, he must first acquire a new body, or 'borrow' it from a human. This also explains why he has the deadened sensations. As for all of the superhuman feats he's been shown doing, I also believe that his demonic energy slowly changes the body, thus allowing those changes. ^^
That should be all of it. If I missed anything, or whatever, feel free to ask me in a review. -hinthint-
-Vampyre Heartbreak