"Date me"

"No"

"Please?"

"I said no, Potter"

"I'll treat you real nice"

"Are you deaf? Do I have to sign it for you?"

"You're just being stubborn"

"Want to hear me say it in Spanish? NO"

"Bad luck, Prongs"

"Evans - "

"Let Sirius talk some NO into you!" exclaimed Lily, frustrated. How many times had Potter asked her out? How many times did she say no? How many times did she HAVE to before it got through his thick skull?

James got up from Lily's armrest that he'd been lounging on while Lily worked. She had stood up, angry, gathered her books and left to the girl's dormitories. She looked out of the corner of her eye before she shut the door, and saw that Potter's stupid friends were looking up at him, while he sat dejected.

She slammed the door shut. Damn that James Potter. How dare he look sad, like he actually gave a shit. She sighed, and turned around. She gasped; she wasn't alone.

"Alice! Jesus, you scared me!"

"Sorry, but you did just kind of rush in. What did James do this time?" Alice asked, popping her gum.

"Oh, Potter? Just ask me out. Be bigheaded. The usual. And don't call him 'James'"

"It is his name, you know" Alice replied with a small smile on her face.

"I'm perfectly aware of what his bloody name is, but I really could care less" retorted Lily as she crossed the room to sit on Alice's bed.

"Ah, Lily, when are you going to realize that that's not true?" her friend wheedled. Lily turned her head around to look Alice in the eye but instead was faced with a popping bubble.

"God, you and your Droobles, Alice..."

"Sorry, babe, but you needed to shut your mouth for just a second. We've gone over this and over this. You like James. James likes you. Go for it"

"James does not LIKE me, he WANTS me. There's a big difference. And I don't..I don't like James. I mean, there was that space of time in second year, but Sev really opened my eyes to the likes of boys like James Potter"

"Don't get me started on Sev" Alice said in a mocking voice, "Because Sev turned out to be such a great pick"

"I know. Sev and the people he hangs around are scummy, but he was right about a lot"

"Like Remus? Please. Anybody who paid attention could pick up on that from a mile away. Just like with James. He's smitten with you!"

"Nice save" Lily smirked, "but why are you so sure that Potter is 'smitten'?"

"I have my sources"

"You're not talking about what you hear on the grapevine, are you? Potter will tell anything to a crowd"

"Even the truth, maybe. But no, that's not what I'm talking about. One, I just know. Your feelings are Remus' full moon; everybody who listens knows. Two, I actually have a source this time. Just...a secret source. And three, have you even seen the way the boy looks at you? It's so adorable that if I didn't already have a man of my own you might have some serious comptetion" Alice teased.

Lily smiled. She told Alice that she'd think about what she'd said in trade for the secret source, but of course that had been declined. It was probably just some first-year that had heard something Potter had said about her for the first time and mistook it for actual feelings. She had Potter all figured out. He was the spoiled little brat that had everything he'd ever wanted and she was the only thing he couldn't have. Naturally, he wanted her bad. But if she succumbed and actually dated him, he'd get bored, and move on. Besides, he wouldn't have to move far. Almost every girl in school loved James Potter.

Lily lay awake that night. She tossed and turned and couldn't shut her brain up. After counting the number of breaths her other friend and roommate, Mary, took in a minute (twenty-three), she decided that she couldn't handle it anymore. She had to get some air, or some water, or some something. She got up, and her head spun. She sat for a minute with her head resting on her knees, and the got up and went to the common room. Halfway down the stairs, the most peculiar thing happened. The portrait-hole opened, and closed on its own. This was something to investigate, and something to do. Lily walked down to the portrait-hole, pushed it open, and walked through.

The hall was empty, and the Fat Lady already going back into a doze. Lily looked left and right, but nobody was around. She sighed, and turned to go back to the common room. The Fat Lady was asleep. Dead asleep.

"Uh...excuse me? ...Ma'am?"

No response.

"Hey! Wake up! Please, err...Fat Lady?"

Still nothing. Several more tries still earned Lily nothing. Even nearly screaming 'FAT LADIEEEE' didn't help. She felt bad about screaming that at her, but what else were they really supposed to call her?

There was nothing for it. She, a prefect hoping to get the Head Girl position next year, outside after hours for the first time ever. Should she sit here and wait for the Fat Lady to wake up, or maybe go wake up Professor McGonagall to let her back inside? But would she really buy the whole mystery ghost explanation as to why she was out here in the first place?

"Damn" she whispered to herself as she slid down the wall to sit.

"Damn"

Lily started. She could have sworn she just heard somebody swear quietly. She looked around, confused. After deciding that she was probably a crazy person, chasing after AND hearing ghosts now, she settled back into her waiting slouch. Ghosts at least showed themselves, and couldn't open doors. And Peeves never went into the dormitories.

"Damn is a naughty word"

This time Lily very nearly stood up. Somebody definitely just teased her, she thought.

"Who's there?" she said, he voice more confident that she felt; her wand was sitting upstairs in the dormitories where she'd put it before bed. There was no answer to her question.

"Damn is a perfectly fine word to use in this situation" she huffed to herself and to her invisible counterpart.

"What situation?"

She was 100 percent sure she wasn't alone now. Either that or she was having a conversation with herself.

"I'm stuck outside after chasing some stupid nothing, and I'm a prefect and I can't get back in, and now...I'm tired" she sighed. Of course she would tire having been out of bed no more than five minutes.

"Aren't being stuck outside and not being able to get in the same thing?"

"Are you trying to tell me off for being redundant? My, you're a weird ghost"

"Who said I was a ghost?"

"My brain" Lily groaned as she sank her head between her knees again. This time for tiredness more than anything, though.

"Do you want back in the common room?"

"If you weren't so busy correcting my grammar you might have heard me say I'm tired. So yes, I'd quite like to be back in the common room"

The ghost chuckled. There was a rustling sound about three feet to Lily's left. She looked and saw nothing. Weren't ghosts silent? Suddenly, the Fat Lady awoke with a fervor.

"My, MY young - ! Oh. It's you. I suppose you want in, of course" the portrait said sniffily.

"Well, yes, I quite would, thank you" said Lily, relieved and confused at the same time.

"Password"

"Leperchaun Taint"

"Wrong, I changed it"

"Well, I'm a prefect! Wouldn't I be the first to know if you did?" Lily retorted.

"Oh. Yes. Well I guess you would. Fine, fine, it's still Leperchaun Taint. But don't call me fat again or I'll never let you through again, password or not"

"You were awake this whole time?" Lily said angrily.

"Come on, pip pip, off to bed now" the Fat Lady said as she opened quickly.

"Fat old hag" muttered Lily as she climbed over the portrait hole. The door was almost closed when she heard, 'bloody little nutter'. Lily groaned loudly before sitting on the couch, looking into the embers of the fire. So either there's a new ghost in town that can somehow make itself invisible (she'd never really known them to do so) or Hogwarts had a new poltergeist. At least this one was kind of funny.