"COOL CAT STOPS A SCHOOL SHOOTING" by TheArchivis
Based on the film "Cool Cat Saves The Kids" by Derek Savage
FADE IN:
EXT./ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, DAY
A silver minivan pulls up to the entrance of an elementary school and stops next to a flagpole. Maria, an eight year old girl, and Cool Cat, a 29 year old man in a bright orange fursuit, step out of the car.
Maria
Thanks for driving us to school, Mr. Derek.
The front window rolls down revealing Derek, a man in his mid-50s.
Derek
Now y'all have a good day at school.
Derek rolls up the window and drives away. Cool Cat looks in the direction of the car and waves.
Cool Cat
Bye Daddy Derek!
The school bell rings.
Maria
Come on, Cool Cat! We're gonna be late!
Maria grabs Cool Cat by the arm and drags him into the building.
INT./ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, DAY (CONT.)
The camera follows Cool Cat and Maria as they walk into the building, passing Butch; a fat, pathetic looking twelve year old, and one other Bully Kid. The camera stops on the bullies as Cool Cat and Maria walk offscreen.
Butch
Check this out!
Butch shows Bully Kid a handgun hidden under his hoodie. Bully Kid flips out.
Bully Kid
Is that real!?
Butch
You bet it is.
Bully Kid
Oh my god! Your momma's gonna whoop you. Where'd you even get that?
CUT TO
EXT./MARIA'S YARD, DAY - FLASHBACK
Butch the Bully finds the gun lying under a bush. He picks it up and laughs manically.
Butch
I can take this to school and steal everyone's lunch money! Ha ha ha! It'll be fat time for me!
BACK TO
INT./ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, DAY
Butch
It doesn't matter how I GOT the gun; what matters is that I have a gun; that means I'm in charge now. I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT! HA HA HA!
Bully Kid
Okay, but what is that? What do you want?
Butch
I think I'm gonna make Maria and Cool Cat give me their lunch money.
Bully Kid
And then what? The teacher's gonna see your gun and you'll be in big trouble.
Butch
How's he gonna stop me? I have a gun and he doesn't; that means I'm in charge. Were you not paying attention?
Another bell rings, indicating that there is one minute remaining before classes start.
Bully Kid
Gun or not, you're not in charge of time. We need to get to class. Are you coming?
Butch
Na. I'm gonna go punk Cool Cat. He thinks he's SO COOL, but I'll show him…
Butch and Bully Kid go their separate ways.
CUT TO
INT./CLASSROOM, DAY
Cool Cat and Maria sit at their desks in their classroom. Cool Cat is at least a foot taller than every other student, and if anyone notices, they don't seem to care. The teacher, Mr. Reese walks into the room and begins lecturing.
Mr. Reese
Good morning, class.
Cool Cat/Maria/All The Other Students
Good morning, Mr. Reese!
Mr. Reese
Before we begin today's lesson, I am going to announce the results of the election for class president-
Butch kicks the door in and points the gun at Maria. Everyone screams.
Butch
Gimme your lunch money!
Mr. Reese
Butch, where on earth did you get a gun? Put that down right now!
Butch points the gun at Mr. Reese.
Butch
Shut up! I'm not talkin' to you right now!
Mr. Reese
Excuse me?
Butch
You're not in charge anymore!
BANG! Butch pulls the trigger and Mr. Reese falls down dead. Blood and brain matter splatter on the wall behind him. Butch sticks his hand in the pool of blood and starts finger painting on the chalkboard.
Cool Cat gets up from his desk.
Cool Cat
You just got graffiti all over the wall! And it's not nice to… paint on someone's wall!
Maria
Cool Cat, no!
Cool Cat
Don't worry, Maria. I can handle-
Butch points the gun at Cool Cat.
Butch
Who's fat and has no friends NOW, huh!? Gimme your lunch money or you'll end up like him!
Cool Cat
Well, you asked for it!
Cool Cat grabs a jar full of pennies from the teacher's desk and throws it at Butch's head. Butch shoots the jar and it explodes; shards of glass and coins spray all over the room.
Butch
You're gonna pay for that!
Butch walks over to Maria's desk and puts the gun to the back of her head. He grabs her shirt collar.
Butch
Get up and come with me!
Maria gets up from her desk and Butch pushes her out into the hallway.
Maria
Cool Cat, help!
Cool Cat
Don't worry Maria, I'll save you! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Cool Cat runs through the broken glass out into the hallway after Butch.
INT./HALLWAY, DAY
Butch drags Maria down the hallway by her hair. Maria is screaming all the way.
Butch
You're ugly and your hair is like rat hair!
INT./KITCHEN, DAY
Butch pushes Maria into a corner in the kitchen. One of the kitchen staff walks up to confront him
Kitchen Staff
Young man, what are you doing out of class?
Butch points the gun at him and backs him up against a counter.
Butch
I'm here for the lunch money! Where's the lunch money!?
The man fumbles his hands across the counter behind his back and grabs a knife. He lunges at Butch and get shot in the knee for his trouble.
Butch
I won't ask you again; where. Is. The lunch money?
The man feebly points toward a locked cabinet. Butch walks over and shoots the lock. Butch opens the cabinet; it is filled with loose quarters and single dollar bills.
Butch
It'll be fat time for me...
Cool Cat (offscreen)
Not so fast, bully!
Cool Cat rushes Butch from offscreen, grabs him by the collar and holds his head over a deep fryer. His hair rests just above the boiling oil.
Butch
What are you!?
Cool Cat
I'm Cool Cat, and I love ALL KIDS! But I don't like bullies!
Cool Cat pulls Butch away from the deep fryer and shoves him into a shelf.
Cool Cat
Now get out of here, and go apologize to all those kids! Stuff like this is why you have NO FRIENDS.
A police officer bursts into the room.
Police Officer
Step away from the child!
Cool Cat
The police are here, EXQUISITE!
The policeman draws a taser.
Police Officer
I SAID, step away from the child!
Cool Cat
No, officer. You don't understand! I'm Cool Cat, and I love- AAAH!
The police officer tases Cool Cat and gets down on his knees to handcuff him. He pulls out his handheld radio.
Police Officer (into radio)
I've got a suspect in custody for indecent exposure, and there appears to have been an incident with a stolen handgun.
Maria gets up from the corner and goes to help Cool Cat but the policeman stops her.
Maria
But Mr. Officer, he loves kids! Why did you do that!?
Police Officer
You'll understand when you're older. But for now, I'm gonna need you and that fat kid to come to the station and answer some questions.
The police officer gets up and pulls Cool Cat to his feet.
Police Officer (into radio)
My god do we have questions…
THE END