Author's Note

This is an AU crossover of Lexx and Star Wars, but mostly follows the adventures of Lexx and her crew. For Lexx fans, this story fits between seasons 2 and 3. For Star Wars fans, I'm setting the clock at about the year 1 BBY, but as this is a work in progress, I may need to retcon that later on.

I confess to not being a hard-core Star Wars fan – it's been a while since I've seen the movies and read a couple of canon novels – enough to know I've only scratched the surface. Feedback for corrections is appreciated, especially getting Yoda's speech pattern right.

Chapter 1: The End of the Universe

Far from home, far from a now destroyed world known as The Cluster, a lone ship came to a relative stop between galactic clusters. With the nearest point of reference millions of light-years away, it was as close to a stop as the ship could calculate. At ten kilometers long, the living ship called the Lexx bore a strong resemblance to a giant wingless dragonfly, testament to its bioengineered insect origins. The Lexx was the most powerful weapon of destruction ever built; a third generation planet destroyer, capable of pulverizing a planet in a single shot.

Something much worse was hunting it.

The four crewmembers of the Lexx were gathered on the bridge, watching the viewscreen.

"We are here," announced the Lexx.

"So where are we?" asked Stanley Tweedle. He had expected at least something to be out there, not a lot of nothing.

A nervous middle-aged man, Stanley was once a security guard class four – the lowest possible rank – while living on The Cluster. Stanley became a fugitive because he failed to report to an organ bank on time for an involuntary "contribution." While escaping The Cluster, and through sheer dumb luck, he acquired the key to the Lexx, making him Captain.

"We are in the middle of everywhere," the Lexx replied solemnly.

"Specifically, we are in the exact center of the universe, give or take about seventy thousand light-years," elaborated 790.

"Well that doesn't sound very accurate," complained Stanley.

"You try finding the center of the universe, you simple-minded idiot," 790 shot back. "As it happens, we are centered within 99.9999% accuracy. I could narrow it down further, but that would take years, at the end of which you would be dead – a pleasant outcome."

790 was once a service robot. Now only the head remained; a head with three small monitors displaying eyes and a mouth, allowing it to mimic facial expressions. Back on The Cluster, it had been accidently imprinted with a love slave program. Just one person was the object of its affection, and it wasn't Stanley H. Tweedle.

"It all looks so beautiful," said Xev, mesmerized by the spread of faraway stars on the viewscreen.

Xev Bellringer of B3K had been transported to The Cluster as a prisoner for "failure in the performance of her wifely duties." Her sentence was to be remade into a love slave – a process interrupted. She now had the body and libido of a love slave, but not the programming. That had gone to 790.

"Looks can be deceiving my precious darling," replied 790. "I estimate at least two thirds of the universe has already been destroyed by Mantrid drones, and given their exponential growth rate, the rest of the universe will be consumed in a matter of hours, if not minutes. What we are seeing is light from long ago—ghosts of stars gone forever. My fondest hope now is to see Tweedle die before anything happens to you."

A single Mantrid drone wasn't much to look at. It was essentially a flying robot arm ending in a rounded bulb. The whole thing was no bigger than your average arm and shoulder. But Mantrid drones were programmed to build more drones. Things had gotten out of hand.

"Keep it up, robot head," retorted Stanley, "and I'll toss you down a shaft, and you'll never know who dies first."

"NOOOOOO!" screamed 790, a look of horror on its digital displays.

"Quiet 790," snapped Xev. "Stanley, now is not the time."

"I suggest," said Kai, with little hint of emotion, "We monitor for the presence of Mantrid drones."

"Yeah," said Stanley, "Get on it 790."

"I don't answer to you," growled 790.

"790, do what Kai suggests," Xev softy said.

"Anything for you my sweet," replied 790, and tapped into the Lexx's sensors. Stanley rolled his eyes in exasperation.

Kai died over 2,000 years ago defending his planet, Brunnen-G, against the forces of His Divine Shadow. A futile gesture – his planet was blown to pieces. Kai, as a final insult to the memory of the Brunnen-G, was remade into an animated corpse, a Divine Assassin in the service of His Shadow. Through a series of events triggered by an egotistical miscalculation by His Shadow, Kai regained his own memories as well as memories from the Divine Predecessors of His Shadow.

A minute or two passed in silence.

790 announced, "I have some good news."

"Yes?" said Stanley and Xev simultaneously.

"Tweedle is going to die soon."

"You mean we're all going to die, you mentally deranged piece of garbage!" shouted Stanley, tired of the constant needling from 790.

"That would be the bad news. My poor, poor Xev!"

"What have you found, 790?" asked Kai.

"There's a Mantrid drone swam about the size of a planet closing from 'below' us."

Stanley jumped up on the pilot stand and waved in front of him. A green holographic image of a palm print appeared floating in the air. Stanley passed his hand through the holographic image, which turned red, indicating the Lexx was alerted to a command from its captain.

"Lexx, there's a Mantrid swam below us. I want you to turn and fly away as fast as you can."

"As you command, Stan," said the Lexx.

"Not so fast, security guard class four," said 790. "I haven't finished."

"Hold up Lexx," said Stanley, glancing over at 790. "What do you mean?"

"That's just the nearest swam, and the smallest too. There are more swarms closing in from all directions. The average swarm consists of approximately 14.2 quadrillion quadrillion Mantrid drones, each with a combined mass greater than a G2 star. And then there are the big ones farther out."

"Lexx, turn towards the baby swam – the one the size of a planet – and fire!" yelled a panicked Stanley.

"As you command, Stan," droned the Lexx.

"Waste of time…" commented 790, rolling its eyes.

The Lexx rotated "down" until it aligned with the approaching swam. Its ocular parabola, hundreds of dome-like ports, opened in a sweeping pattern across its compound "eyes." Thousands of small points of light swirled out of the domes, combined together at a focal point in front of the Lexx, and fired a concentrated horizontal beam of energy. The beam swept out, hitting the swarm dead center. The planet-size mass was destroyed in a blinding flash.

"Woo hoo! Way to go Lexx!" yelled Stanley, jumping for joy.

"Can we escape the area?" asked Xev.

"No, love pumpkin," replied 790. "While our simple-minded Captain was distracted by the shiny bobble Mantrid dangled in front of him, the other swarms have positioned themselves to make escape impossible. I can detect still more swarms massing in the area, and I mean massing quite literally. The only reason Lexx isn't being shaken apart by gravitational forces is because we are at the very center of the swarms."

"Lexx, are we completely surrounded by Mantrid drones?" asked a disbelieving Stanley.

"Yes we are, Stanley," replied the Lexx.

"Then targeting doesn't matter. Just fire your weapon!"

"I am sorry, Stanley. The Mantrid drones are far outside my normal firing range. I do not think I will cause any damage."

"For once, the bug is smarter than Tweedle. Now I know it's the end of the universe." 790 blew a raspberry.

Stanley ignored 790. "I know Lexx, but try it anyway. Fire!"

"As you command, Stan."

Once again the Lexx fired its weapon, the horizontal beam sailing through space towards a now solid-looking wall of Mantrid drones. As the beam traveled, it began to lose focus, becoming scattered by the gravitational influence of so many drones. On impact, a brief gap appeared as several trillion Mantrid drones were destroyed; a gap quickly filled in by more Mantrid drones.

"I am sorry Stanley. That is the best I can do."

"Interesting that the drones have not attempted to avoid any of Lexx's shots this time," observed Kai.

"And why should I?" a voice boomed over the intercom. "The universe is me now." A distorted version of a human face appeared on the viewscreen.

"Mantrid!" both Stanley and Xev exclaimed together.

"I promised I would save you for last, and I keep my promises. The game is over. I win the game."

Kai stepped closer to the viewscreen. "And in your zeal to show your superiority, you have sent much of the mass of this universe chasing after the small challenge that is us. Is that not overkill?"

"Overkill? It's my style. I think big, last of the Brunnen-G."

"No Mantrid, you are small. I know I am dead, but you think you are alive. Life is full of surprises. You are only a machine."

"Yeah, no better than a vacuum cleaner," chimed in Stanley.

"A sewage pump," added 790.

"No one loves you," said Xev.

"Oh boo hoo," replied Mantrid. "I am the Light universe now. I control it. I will open a new portal to the Dark universe and eat it for desert."

"The game is over, Mantrid, and you have lost," replied Kai.

"Lost? How could I possibly lose? I have remade an entire universe!"

"Stanley? Ask the Lexx how he feels," said Kai.

"You heard the man. How do you feel, Lexx?" queried Stanley.

"I feel something strange happening around me."

Outside the Lexx, a bright point of light appeared at the gravitational center of the mass of surrounding Mantrid swarms. The Lexx, as the closest object to the point, began to tumble out of control towards it.

"You followed us to the center of the universe," said Kai. "This universe was born in a big bang. You have moved too much mass too quickly towards one point, and now it will now die in a big collapse. We die with the satisfaction of knowing you will soon die with us."

There was silence for a moment. The face of Mantrid appeared to be in thought as it analyzed data looking for a way to stop the destruction of everything. It could find no solution.

"You have played well," conceded Mantrid, and with that it terminated the communications link.

"I estimate this area of the universe will collapse before the Mantrid swarms can get to us, Xev, but we're dead either way," said 790.

"Guess it's goodbye," Stanley said with quite sadness.

"Not necessarily," replied Xev, though the look on her face did not convey any hope. She looked over to Kai. "Goodbye Kai."

Kai nodded silently in return.

"Well, nice knowing everybody," Stanley said, looking around at the others.

"Sentiment not returned," said 790.

The Lexx stretched and distorted, disappearing into the point of light. The Mantrid swarms began crushing into mega-masses as gravitational forces overcame the ability of individual drones to maneuver. In some areas, the density of matter reached the point where multiple black holes began to form, their gravitational distortions the disrupting the earlier symmetry achieved when the Lexx was surrounded. The point of light ceased to exist. Trillions upon trillions of Mantrid drones fell into the each of the newly formed black holes every second. With surprising speed, larger black holes began to draw in smaller ones, growing ever larger, material being supplied from ever farther away, until, for the first time in billions of years, the expansion of the universe finally, fatally, stopped.

It would be decades before the true, final end of the universe, but as Kai observed, its fate, and that of Mantrid, were already sealed.