"Weak. Ignorant. Pathetic. Coward. Disgrace."
Each one of those words shot through Artemis like knives, all stabbing into her heart. She stood in the middle of the empty room, holding a bucket of water in each hand. Her arms felt numb and she was hardly able to stand on her own two feet. Her father circled her, eyeing her as if she was a convicted criminal. His face showed no concern for the bruises scrambled over her legs, or the cuts climbing up arms. He spat out each word, his tone growing more hostile. His only concern was raising a fighter. Someone who aimed for the bulls-eye every shot, and could take down an army single handily. "You're not cut out to fight for this life, Artemis."
"Ye-yes I am. I am a fighter." Artemis said softly, trying to hide any doubt in her voice. She struggled to hold back her tears, cursing herself when they streamed down her face. She couldn't do it. She couldn't be a fighter, she was only ten. Her mother was rotting away in prison, and her sister abandoned her. Who else did she have left? A father that pushed her past her limits, and verbally abused her was better than no family at all.
Family? Is this how a family is suppose to be? Are all families this broken, or is she just special? She would lay awake in her bed, imagining different scenarios where her family might actually be considered normal. She'd compare their lives to the ones she would watch on TV, days where her father was away on "business trips" and she had to take care of herself. Sometimes she'll dream of them cooking a big turkey for Thanksgiving, and setting up a decorative table where they'll all share a meal. Maybe her dreams would take her into a family picnic. There would be no screaming or tears, but only smiles and laughter. She'd often watch TV and replace the faces of the characters with those of her family. It was the only time that she felt proud to be a part of one.
"You're useless."
Artemis closed her eyes and tried to breath in slowly. It was a technique she developed early on that helped her shut off the outside world. It helped her shut off her father.
Lawrence Crock stood right in front of her and looked down at the small figure. She hasn't moved an inch for the past hour, and he decided that her punishment was over. "Go clean up, you look like a mess." He crouched down to get to eye level with her, even though her eyes were still shut tight. "But the next time I say to shoot 5 bulls eyes in a roll, I mean it." He patted her on the cheek before getting up to leave the cold room.
Artemis stood there, counting to ten before she put down the two buckets and collapsed onto her knees. Her father never abused her physically. All the scars and bruises scattered on her body were results of training exercises. She didn't - won't - think of them as her father abusing her. In this room he was no longer her father, he was her mentor, trainer. Once the mask is on, any relation is off. She wasn't allowed to call him "dad", but was forced to only address him as "sir". Whenever she would look at these scars, she wouldn't think of her father slicing the air with a dagger. She would only be reminded as the time she failed to dodge it. In his eyes, he was training her to survive and live in a world where she would have to constantly defend herself. In her eyes, she was just trying to survive him.
No, her father never abused her physically. But emotionally, he never held back. Whenever he got the chance, he'll remind her of how much of a burden she was. She was the reason everyone left, and the reason why no one loved her. How can anyone love her when she can't even love herself? She hated herself, and hated the fact that she could never do anything right. Jade was always the star during training. She was able to knock down three men, and always hit her targets with her sais. Jade was the one that knew how to hide her fears - if there were any. She was able to do everything that Artemis wanted to do at the moment. She was able to leave.
Artemis adjusted her loose ponytail, pulling it tight as she got off the sweaty floor. She couldn't stand being in the room for another second. She washed her cuts clean and applied bandages to the old ones. It was almost like a routine, and she was able to do it perfectly because of the years of practice. She learned to stop wincing from the alcohol she padded on. After she was done she went straight to bed, skipping out on whatever dinner her father heated up. He barely made her food anyways.At night, she'll just stare up at the ceiling, admiring how the moon illuminated her room. She squeezed an old teddy bear, Mr. Buttons, that her father gave her, back before all the training happened. One arm was snaked around the teddy bear, while the other was underneath her pillow, clutching onto a small dagger.
Before she knew it, Artemis drifted off to sleep, dreaming about whatever TV show she had watched that afternoon. Sometimes her mother would show up, walking on her feet alongside Jade. They came to take her away from her father and leave this life behind. Some nights she even dreams that her father had turned over a new leaf and changed into the average family man that would love his children and wife, and not even have the thought of hurting anyone of them. But they were just dreams, and she was living in a reality that was her nightmare.
Hours after Artemis retreated to her bedroom, Lawrence quietly entered and took a seat on Jade's empty bed. He knew that Artemis was a light sleeper, but he was a master at stealth. He watched his daughter breath slowly, still holding onto the teddy bear he gave her many years ago. He turned his head to face the Alice in Wonderland poster that was hanging on the wall. He stared at it, remembering how Jade and Artemis took such an interest in such a silly childhood story. He returned his glance to the sleeping child across from him. He glared at her, still frustrated with today's training, and every other day.
"You're a foolish girl, Artemis."
"Babe, you don't have to do this if you don't want to."
Artemis looked the man standing in front of her. Wally West was no longer a boy, he was a man now. He was no longer the hormonal goofy teenager that ran into the cave, wearing nothing but swim trunks and sun screen on his nose. He was now the loving goofy man that she couldn't imagine spending one day apart from. Ten years passed since she found her white rabbit and joined the team. Ten long years spent with him, and she didn't regret one bit of it. She kissed him lightly on the lips and stroked his cheek.
"I want to, Wally. It's something that I need to do."
Wally looked unconvinced. It wasn't that he didn't trust Artemis, it was just that he didn't trust anyone else. He didn't want to risk any opportunity that she might get harmed - physically or emotionally. But still, this was Artemis Crock he was looking at. She was capable of taking care of herself and strong enough to handle anything that comes across her. Who was he to say no? If it was something she needed to do, she would even go against his wishes.
"Fine, but just know that I'm here if anything happens," he said quietly, taking her hand into his. "And I mean anything."
She kissed him on the lips again as a sign of agreement, before she turned her heel and walked up the narrow pathway. This was something that has been troubling her for god knows how long. If she didn't do this today, then she might never gain the courage to ever again. She continued her way up the path until she cam across a big heavy looking door with a sign plastered on top of it.
BELLE REVE
"You can do this Artemis," she reassured herself and she took a deep breath and pushed through the doors. She looked around the environment she had gotten herself into. The little voice in the back of her head was trying to convince her that this was not a good idea, and she should rethink things through before she takes another step. Oddly enough the voice sounded a lot like Wally, who was probably still standing outside by the car. But she tuned the voice out as she slowly walked up to the woman behind the counter.
"Can I help you miss?" the lady asked.
She looked blankly at the woman. No more hesitation, no more second thoughts. It was either now or never, and she wasn't up to the second option. She couldn't go through the rest of her life wondering the what ifs, and unanswered questions. It was no longer something she needed to do, it was something that she felt obliged to do.
"Yes," she said slowly, "I'm here to see my father, Lawrence Crock."
Artemis fidgeted in her seat, she was usually very patient, but this was different. Her heart was beating fast, exceeding any normal pace that would be considered healthy. She had no problems on covert missions, or taking down dangerous thugs. She wasn't even this nervous when she met Wally's family for the first time. But here she was, sitting in Belle Reve, waiting for her father to walk through the door. Given their history no one would blame Artemis for being so nervous, but she still didn't want it to show on her face. After all, he was the one that taught her to hide any emotions. She closed her eyes and breathed in slowly, trying to find a quiet spot in her mind. The room was noisy enough, with all the visitors and prisoners talking all at once. She needed time to think. This whole time she was just worrying about finding the courage to come down here, she almost forgot that she didn't know what to say. Of course she knew what she wanted to say to him, but she couldn't find any words that would help her at the moment.
Before she can doubt herself again, she felt a tap against the glass. Artemis picked up her head, and for the first time in a decade she saw her father. Artemis picked up the phone that allowed the two of them to communicate and held it against her ear, while he mirrored her actions.
"You know, when the guard came to my cell and said I got a visitor I didn't believe them. I said 'You got the wrong guy buddy. I don't get visitors.' But I guess I'm just lucky today." Unlike everyone else, he hasn't changed one bit. Besides some wrinkles forming across his face, he still looked like the smug thief she put away ten years ago. He was still wearing the same smirk too, the one that reflected just how evil he was.
"Hi Dad." That was the only thing that Artemis managed to get through her mouth. There were a bunch of words she wanted to say, but she just couldn't bring herself to say it. All of this was still too overwhelming.
"First time I see you in ten years, and the only thing I get is 'Hi Dad'?" He chuckled and leaned back in his chair. "What's the agenda Artemis?"
Artemis just stared at him, still not finding the right words to say or the right way to say it. Maybe she hasn't thought everything thoroughly enough, and maybe she should just get up and leave. But she couldn't. She wasn't about to just end their "reunion" short because she got scared. She lifted her left hand and held it next to her face, letting it speak for itself as she continued to search for something to say. There resting on her finger was a simple diamond ring that was worth more to her than what it actually costs. It wasn't anything glamours but it was enough for her. Even a ring from a gumball machine would have been enough for her actually.
Artemis watched as Lawrence's face briefly changed for a split second. Before she can pick up on his hurt expression, he quickly placed the smirk back on his face. "Guess my invitation got lost in the mail. So you and the red head, huh? Not surprised, even ten years ago, it was obvious that he was falling for you."
"I love him." Her head was beginning to clear up and her thoughts weren't so messy. Getting through the first step was just the relief she needed to continue on. "And his name is Wally."
Lawrence snorted as he leaned closer to the glass that was separating the two. "So you came all the way down here to brag about your new found love? That's petty baby girl."
The blonde archer glanced down at her ring, remembering why she was here and what made her come. "I was with Wally's mother and aunt, my future in-laws, and we were just finishing up the final fitting of my wedding dress. I never imagined getting married and wearing a beautiful white gown. And I especially never imagined feeling so emotional when I saw myself in it. I felt like a princess, the kinds that I watched on the TV when I was little. I actually felt like one and I started tearing up. Before I can stop myself I saw that Wally's mom and aunt were also trying to hold back tears."
"Is this your plan Artemis? Wasn't enough that I have to rot here for life, but you're trying to bore me to death with wedding talk?"
Artemis ignored his remark and continued on with her story, "I was happy until Wally's mom said that I would look beautiful walking down the aisle. Because then it struck me, I'm about to walk down the aisle on the happiest day of my life alone." She paused so she can read the expression on her fathers face. To her predictions it was emotionless. Even with the smirk still planted on his face, it read no emotion. "Normally a father would walk his daughter down the aisle. But that's not going to happen. Then of course the next option would be the bride's mother to walk with her, except she can't even walk. You made sure of it."
"I had no play on that part. Your mother chose her actions and she accepted the consequences - even if that did mean being a useless cripple."
Artemis felt her eye brows burring in and her eyes darting daggers at the man on the other side of the glass. "She's suffering because of you. All her suffering and pain comes from you. You might not have pulled the trigger, but you had no trouble of abandoning her."
Lawrence's brown eyes grew darker as he remembered the events that caused the downfall of his already broken family. It was before he started training Jade and Artemis, but his family was still far from perfection. They weren't dangerous assassins yet, but just a husband and a wife that needed money. Lawrence and Paula supported their family by robbing bank vaults. One night they were in the middle of stashing countless dollar bills into their bags when they heard police sirens not too far. They made a break for it and ran as fast as they could, clutching onto their money bags. Just a few blocks away from safety Lawrence heard a sharp gun shot and turned around. There lying on the floor a few feet away from him was his bleeding wife. "Just go! Go! Look after our daughters and just go! Please!" she screamed, urging him to escape. He had no choice but to turn around and run, not looking back once. No matter what truth Artemis heard, she always accused him of abandoning Paula. That was when all the training happened, along with the tough love. That was when their broken family was hit with another crack.
The convicted criminal shook his head, returning him back to reality. He couldn't dwell on the past anymore, but at the same time he couldn't hope for any empty future. "What do you really want Artemis? Why are you really here?"
His daughter didn't relax her face, still holding the death glare that was painted by her eyes. "I'm here to forgive you." He couldn't help but to let out a loud chuckle that was heard throughout the whole room. "You're here to forgive me? For what exactly?"
Artemis ignored the curious glances from the other inmates and their visitors and continued on. "I'm here to forgive you for being who you are. The abusive selfish cold hearted criminal that I have as a father. I forgive you for driving Jade away, and ruining my childhood. Did you know that every night I would lay on top of my bed terrified that I might wake up in another "training exercise"?" She tried to study his emotions once again. But she couldn't read any sign of humanity in his dark brown eyes. "Every Christmas while every other child received gifts from their loving parents, I received new scars. I had to lie about them to so many people I began to believe my own lies. I don't even know what I looked like as a baby because there weren't any pictures of photo albums. Instead our house was decorated with swords, arrows, and guns. Those of which I learned to use before I was even a teenager. You didn't only give me a broken family, but you also gave me a broken childhood. But you know what? I forgive you.." Those last words came out as almost a whisper, but was audible enough for Lawrence to hear through the phone.
He had a straight poker face on that would have made any World Series winner proud. "And why is that?" Unlike his body, his words showed plenty of emotions. They were showered with distaste and anger, something that Artemis wasn't surprised of. His voice was always angry. "You said so yourself baby girl, I broke your childhood. Why forgive me?"
Artemis thought back to why she was actually forgiving this pathetic excuse for a father. Because of him she never knew what it felt like to wake up and be excited about a new day. She never experienced a home cooked Thanksgiving dinner or heart shaped candies with corny pick up lines on Valentines day. She never understood how it was like to be a child during a real childhood. All she knew was how to kill and survive. That was what her father had buried deep inside her brain - survival of the fittest. So why is she willing to forgive him?
"Because through all that I survived, and it made me who I am," she said. "I'm not proud of my past but I am proud of what I made out of it. I'm not the weak scared little girl anymore, but a strong fighter. My life with you was nothing a child should endure but it pushed me to find my white rabbit who led me to a new family, where I felt like I actually belonged. So I forgive you for all the hell you put me through because without it, I wouldn't have been able to experience being part of a team. I wouldn't have met such amazing people who were willing to accept me and welcome me. I wouldn't have learned how there are people out there who want to do more good than harm." She paused to gaze at the diamond resting on her finger. "I wouldn't have met a boy who taught me so much. He challenged me to be the best version of myself, and I like who I am when I'm around him. Like I don't have to worry about getting hurt or adding any new scars. He taught me how to smile again even when I didn't want to - a real smile, not the fake ones that I've put on for all my life. He showed me that I am capable of loving myself and loving others. He showed me that I am worthy of love." A faint smile appeared on her face as she thought back to the memories she shared with the speedster. Before she met him she was hesitant of love and thought that all men would abandon her, just like her father left her mother. But somehow along the road, Wally grew on her. His smile, laugh, humor, generosity, and love became everything she appreciated out of life. It took her a while to admit it but she was in love for the first time, and she wasn't scared anymore. "Maybe my life wasn't written as a fairy tale from the very first moment but as the story continued, I grew up and realized that I was the one that decided how it will end. And I don't want my story to end where I'm still holding a grudge against my own father, regardless of how resentful he is. You were only part of a few chapters of my life, a few dark chapters. But I'm not going to let those chapters or a grudge hold me back."
There was a silence between them that didn't fit in with the noise of many voices in the room. They sat there staring at each other, trying to read the opposite's emotions. Lawrence was cold and detached as usual. The silence between the father and daughter was broken by the sound of chuckle. It wasn't as loud as the first one, but low and dark. "That's cute, kid." He leaned over in his chair getting closer to the unwashed glass. "But here's the thing, I never said I was sorry."
Artemis knew that the remark was meant to hurt her and sound as if he didn't care about her speech. But she didn't let it affect her and wasn't concern about what he thought of her forgiveness. She was doing this for herself, not for him. It was something that she needed to get off her chest before she started the new chapter of her life with Wally. A chapter where she didn't hold any hate. "No you didn't. But I am."
"Oh and what are you sorry about princess?"
"Wally and I are going to start a family someday and our children would want to know who their grandfather is. And when they ask me, I would look straight into their innocent eyes and without any hesitation, I'll tell them their grandfather is dead."
If the mention of Paula broke him down a little, Artemis saying he's dead took a plunge at him. He knew that he wasn't anyone's favorite person, and many wanted his head as a trophy, but to hear his own daughter saying that affected him. He dropped his hostile eyes and stared down at the table, refusing to allow her to read any emotions he might accidently slip. "Sorry to disappoint you but I'm still alive and breathing. Will be for the next twenty years."
"I don't want my children being raised by hatred and anger. But in order to do that I won't let them know who their grandfather is. I'll lie if I have to, but my family will not pay the price your actions made. Not anymore. So when they ask me where their grandfather is, I'll tell them that he's sleeping up in heaven. I'll say that he was a good man who cared a lot about his family and protected them from everything bad in the world. I'll say he was protecting us from people like you. I won't hesitate and I won't show any doubt. I'll tell a lie so believable, that even I would believe it because I wish that was the reality. I wish you were the man that I would be grateful to call my father, but I'm not in Wonderland. I forgive you for everything you had done and whatever you will do in the future but you are mad if you think for a split second that I will be so forgiving if you hurt any one I care about." She tried to take a deep breath to control herself. She could feel her voice firing up and all the anger rising. "This is the last time you will ever see me. Goodbye Dad."
And with that she hung up the phone and left, only turning her head over her shoulder once to catch a glimpse of her father, still hanging his head. The first thought that crossed her mind was that he didn't hear a word she said. She left with the thought that he didn't care and she just wasted her time trying to accomplish something she never intended to. She'd lie if she said she didn't hope that her father would help her find closure. But Artemis knew her father and knew that he tuned himself out if anything got too emotional. It was who he is and who she'll ever only know him of. But what she didn't see when she left was the trail of tears traveling down his cheek.
She walked quickly though the halls and down the narrow pathway, wanting nothing more than to escape the dark corners. She could feel tears trying to escape but she blinked them away once she saw Wally. If he saw her crying he would imagine the worst and pay a private visit to the father she just left behind. She didn't need anyone to see her crying right now. Not after she just stayed strong in front of the man that she feared the most. Instead she found comfort in Wally's arms with his hands stroking her hair.
"How'd it go?" he asked. He knew that she was okay but he just needed to make sure.
"I said what I needed to and left. Can we please go home?" she replied.
He kissed the top of her head and opened the passenger's door next to them. They drove home in silence, none of them wanted to mention what happened in there. He didn't want to pry it out of her and make things worst. She'll tell him when she's ready and he'll be there to listen.
"For the last time Wally, our wedding cake is not going to have the Flash symbol on it!" Artemis yelled as she rubbed her temples. It has been three weeks since her visit at Belle Reve, and only two months until she became Mrs. Artemis West. She busied herself from thinking about it by checking over the wedding details twice. She never thought herself as a Bridezilla but Wally made her feel like one with his ridiculous suggestions. She remembered when she gave him the silent treatment for five days when he begged her to consider getting married in their uniforms. Even though his body matured, much to her delight, he still had the brain of a sixteen year old. After days of trying to reason with her, she finally revealed why the thought of him even bringing it up hurt her.
"Wally, do you even know why we wear masks? It's to hide our identities from the public, so saying that you want to get married in our uniforms makes it feel like you want to hide it from everyone. Like you're ashamed of us. I don't want to Mrs. Flash or just someone that you come home to and share a bed with. I want to be Mrs. West and be someone that you look forward to seeing when you come home and someone you want to spend every day with for the rest of your life. I want a real marriage Baywatch, not some dress up party."
She could still see Wally's reaction in her mind. His face got flushed, green eyes wide, and kept on apologizing for the next two hours. Needles to say, this wedding was important to Artemis. She finally found a man that made her truly happy and she wanted a normal wedding. Living a life of crime fighting didn't leave much normality left, so this wedding was the last thing at being ordinary. Even if all the guests were extraordinary, archers, speedsters, aliens, or members of the Justice League.
"Come on babe! If I don't get that then can I at least pick out our wedding song?" Wally begged mid chew as he was devouring a plate of spaghetti.
Artemis leaned over the table and gave him a peck on the cheek. "Our song is going to be 'The Way You Look Tonight' and you're going to love it."
Before Wally can retaliate or even swallow, there was a knock on the door. Artemis and Wally glanced at each other, not sure of who would be visiting. The only visitor they get that doesn't call beforehand didn't exactly use the front door. Artemis walked over to the door and opened it, expecting it to be some girl scouts that were trying to rip them off by selling cookies that didn't meet her taste.
"Ollie! What are you doing here?" Artemis hugged her former mentor before inviting him into the small house.
"Oh I was just in the neighborhood and decided to drop by, see how things are going," he said as he hung his coat over the sofa. He was met with Artemis' hard glance, knowing that he was lying. "Alright I came to see if Wally was still alive and breathing. When Dinah and I were planning our wedding, she almost skinned me alive for wanting a Green Arrow symbol on our cake."
Wally jumped off his seat and pointed his finger at the older man. "Aha! See Artemis? It's not a stupid idea!"
Artemis rolled her eyes and ignored her fiance's comment. She took a seat next to Oliver on the sofa and still looked unconvinced. "Wally's still alive, though not for long if he doesn't clean that spaghetti stain he just made." Wally almost turned as red as his hair when he noticed that his outburst caused his meal to fall right off the plate.
Oliver laughed at the sight of Wally speeding around the house to look for a mop. "Alright kiddo, you got me. Truth is, I came here to check up on you. A little birdy, well a former Robin to be exact, told me that you saw your old man. I know that must have been tough given the timing and all."
Artemis mentally face palmed herself. Of course Dick would know and inform Oliver. "I'm fine Ollie. I am, really."
Oliver studied her for a moment, trying to see if she truly was fine. Convinced that she was okay he let out a sigh of relief. "Glad to hear Artemis. Now if it isn't too late to volunteer, I'd like to be the one that walks you down the aisle." He gave her a reassuring smile, telling her that he wasn't doing this out of pity but he actually wanted the honor. "You're like a daughter to Dinah and I and I would be honored if you'd let me."
The former protege could feel tears developing, but just like she did at Belle Reve, she pushed them back. "I'd like that." Maybe she couldn't have any real blood relatives walking her down the aisle, but throughout her life on the team Oliver really did feel like a father to her. The two archers hugged on the couch before Oliver got up to leave. "I'll see you two lovebirds soon. Dinah's waiting for me back at the house." Right as he was about to leave through the front door, he reached into his jacket pocket and handed Artemis an envelope. "Before I forget, I picked up your mail. Don't worry I didn't look at it. Now I really have to run! Bye Artemis! Good Luck Wally!"
Wally walked over to Artemis and peered over her shoulder. "What's that?" he asked after the door slammed. Artemis traced her fingers over the edges of the envelope, reading the address of which it came from.
"Belle Reve.." Her voice was shaky. Why is she getting mail from Belle Reve? Did something happen to her father? Did he break out? Is this informing her of his escape?
Wally decided that words weren't helpful at the moment and just wrapped his arms around her waist. The pair stood like that for the next fifteen minutes, no one saying a single word. Never being one for silence, Wally spoke up first. "You should read it."
Artemis turned around to face him, her gray eyes were filled with confusion and sorrow. He didn't even want her to see her father in the first place. Now he was urging her to read an unknown letter? "But what if it's bad news?"
Wally kissed her forehead and gave her a smile. "But what if it wasn't?" And right there. That was one of the reasons she's marrying him. Whenever she was uncertain, scared, or doubting something, Wally was always there to help her see the bright sides of things. "Babe if you need to be alone, I can leave for an hour or two. But if you want me to stay I'm more than happy to."
Artemis switched her glances between Wally's eyes and the letter scrunched up in her hands. Is this something that she needed to do alone? Or was it something that was supposed to be shared with him?
"Two hours. Then you come right back?"
No matter how much she loved Wally and trusted him with her life, this was something she needed to handle on her own. When everything is settled and done with, she'll show him the letter. But when she reads it for the first time, she has to be alone. Wally nodded his head and gave her another kiss on the forehead before grabbing his coat. He turned his head and looked at her in the eyes wishing that he could do more. But this is what she wanted at the moment, and who was he to say no? "I love you Blondie."
"I love you too Baywatch." she said, giving him a smile from the use of their nicknames. After he left, Artemis walked over to the couch and teared open the envelope. She was bracing herself for whatever was printed on it.
Artemis -
The day I got locked up in this cell was the day I knew I would never see my family ever again. I accepted the fact that I was meant to rot alone, leaving behind no one that would care. But ten years later and there you were. You grew up so much baby girl. I can see it in your eyes too and the way you talked to me. You've become this confident strong warrior that I knew you were meant to be. You were right, you are no longer that scared weak child anymore. You were right about a lot of other things too.
When it comes down to the day you start your own family with the red head, don't tell them the truth about their grandfather. Tell them that I am dead. Tell whatever lie you want to, Artemis. Tell them with a straight face and tell them that I was the man I was never capable of being. The loving caring father that you and Jade deserved, and husband your mom needed. My actions shouldn't affect anyone else anymore. I'm spending the rest of my life in a cell, and I'm never going to meet any of my grandchildren or see any of my children. That is my punishment.
But you were also wrong about many others. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I don't deserve any of it. You shouldn't be sitting in Belle Reve talking to your father from a telephone and forgiving him for the many crimes he committed. That's not a life intended for you. If it wasn't for my reckless parenting and obsession with training my daughters to be fighters, you would be living the life you always dreamed of. A normal life with a normal family that loves her. But when you told me that you were happy and how you met a team where you belonged in, I couldn't be more happy.
I know this letter doesn't justify what I did or makes up for all the pain I caused. I'll never let go of the guilt and I'll never forgive myself. But I just need to let you know Artemis that I love you. I might never had showed it but you are my daughter and I love you. Jade and your mom too. When your mother was sent away paralyzed, I felt my life falling apart. Our family wasn't perfect back then but I destroyed it even further. Jade left and all I had was you.
I like to think that in another life, I was the father that you were happy of. But in this life I'm not. I can't turn away from the life of crime. I can't shut it off and start all over. But knowing that you left that path and started your own makes me proud. I wish I could change the past and I wish I can change the present. I wish I was able to walk you down the aisle on your wedding with the red head. But wishes aren't mean to come true, they're meant to give hope.
So don't apologize Artemis. And don't forgive those who don't deserve it. Live your life princess, and make sure your story gets a happy ending.
Love,
Your Father.
Artemis now felt the tears trailing down her face, and didn't try to hold them back this time. Her father, a man who she thought held no emotions, wrote a letter to her that left her speechless. She didn't carry a grudge anymore, and she didn't feel any anger. She felt relived and calm. When she was trying to put the letter back into the envelope, and small picture fell face down onto the floor. Artemis stared at it curiously before picking it up to read what was hand written on the back.
My girls, my life, my hope.
Artemis flipped the photo over and instantly felt more tears falling down her wet cheeks. On the other side of the words was a picture of her mother standing on her two feet with a miniature Jade pulling on her arm. And on the other arm was a baby Artemis hugging the old teddy bear Mr. Buttons.
"You're a foolish girl Artemis." he whispered as he rose from the bed.
"You should have left with your sister when you got the chance. Don't you see that by staying with me, you're only getting hurt? I don't train you and push you past your limits for fun Artemis. The real world is harsh and I'm trying to prepare you for it. I'm training you to be your own person, and not take any crap handed to you."
He made his way over to the door and lingered there, leaning against the door frame. "But even so, you deserve something better. I'm sorry Artemis, I'm not the type of father you need. You should have ran away with Jade and found someone better suited. You should be with a real family. Grow up in a normal life with normal people, away from all the mess I cause. I don't deserve you, but I'm trying my best here. I love you."