Disclaimer: I owe nothing by FOX. The show belongs to the company.
Act 1
The scene takes place at the Smith household. Steve and his new girlfriend, Zoey Wilson, are sitting on the couch watching TV.
"And now we return with Jersey Shore, Kids Edition" the TV announcer said.
TV Cutaway
The scene takes place at a beach in New Jersey.
"Ugh! Middle school is so hard! I don't want to graduate!" says a 10 year old girl
"Cheer up, Stacey! At least we get to party just like the kids in 2013" a 12 year old boy said.
"Oh, you're so cute! Let's take off our tops!" said another 14 year old girl.
TV Cutaway End
"Steve, did you know that the government is banning kids from using iPads until they reach the age of 18?" Zoey asked Steve.
"Oh really, where did you hear that?" her boyfriend asked.
"Obama" she replied.
"Of course" he smirked.
Stan walks inside the household after work.
"Hi son. What have you two been up to?" Stan asked.
"Hi, dad. Zoey and I are going to go see Frozen on Disney on Ice" Steve answered.
"Yeah, I get to hear Let It Go again" Zoey said. "My all time favorite Disney song. Sorry Hakuna Matata."
"Well, have fun kids. How will you get there though?" Stan wondered.
"Oh, you know" Steve replied.
Meanwhile, the next scene shifts to Hayley's room. Jeff is teaching Hayley how to play Call of Duty.
"Now remember, babe. You press L1 and L2 to change weapons. If you want to shoot, press X" Jeff explains.
"Like this?" Hayley asked.
"Yes, that's it! You got the hang of this, babe!" Jeff exclaimed.
"Jeff, who knew that this game attracts so many guys and girls" Hayley said with a smile.
Roger walks by.
"Hey guys! Whatcha doing?" he asked.
"None of your business, Roger. I'm trying to spend quality time with my husband, if you don't mind" Hayley demanded.
"But Hayley, you promise that you would take me to go wig-shopping" the alien persisted.
"Sorry, dude. I want to spend time with my girl" Jeff shuts the door.
"OW! You broke my handsome, sexy nose!" Roger shouted.
Meanwhile, Steve and Zoey arrived at Disney on Ice, yet it was filled with so many kids.
"Steve! Thanks so much for taking me here. I didn't know you were into this stuff!" Zoey thanked her boyfriend.
"Oh anytime, babe. You know, Spirited Away was my favorite Disney movie. So it's all good" Steve said.
"Steve, I don't think that was a Disney movie, but I'll take your word from it" she said with a smile.
The couple enters the stadium, where the show was about to begin. The lights go dark.
"Ahh! Someone stepped on my foot!" Steve shouted.
"Oops! Sorry!" Zoey apologized.
The lights turn on.
"Much better" Steve said.
The next scene shifts to Roger getting a snack from the refrigerator. He sees Hayley and Jeff eating together on the kitchen table, enjoying each other company.
"God! How are these lovebirds still attracted to each other?" the alien asked himself. "Hey guys! Whatcha doing?" he asked as he walks towards Hayley and Jeff.
"Roger, we're trying to enjoy our meal together. If you don't mind, I want to be alone with Jeff!" Hayley snapped.
"Yo dude. My wife needs me more than anything. She means everything to me. You better leave us alone, dude" Jeff said.
"Fine, whatever!" the household alien said as he walks away.
Later, Steve and Zoey are at the mall, having lunch together. Steve has a hotdog and soda, while Zoey has cheese fries.
"Hey Zoey, check this out" Steve takes out a device that bleep sounds. "Hey Zoey. Watch this!"He points his device towards two guy friends.
"So yeah, last time I (bleep) my mother that…." guy 1 said.
"What?!" guy 2 said.
"I didn't say anything. Now, let me talk you (bleep)! What the (bleep)?! (Bleep) (Bleep) (Bleep) (bleep)!?"
Everyone at the food court laughs at the first guy as he runs off, embarrassed.
"How great is this thing? You can censor whatever you want!" Steve exaggerated.
"Uh, that's great Steve" Zoey said with a smile. (Stomach grumbles) "Oh God! These fries hate my stomach! I'll be right back! I know! I need to take a…don't even think about it!" she runs off to the bathroom, as she was holding her stomach with her left hand, while holding her purse with the other hand.
Steve was going to use it, but he declines "No, I can't! I must resist!" he told herself.
As he was continuing to eat, he encounters someone.
"Hey! Who's that?" he asks himself.
He sees an overweight gothic girl.
"Oh my God! It's Debbie!" he shouted.
The fat girl walks by Steve "Hi Steve. Long time no see!"
"Oh, hi Debbie."
"How you been, buddy?"
"Uh, great. What are you doing here?"
"I was just taking my friends to buy more gothic art supplies. I didn't notice you were here. Are you here alone?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact, she's coming right now!"
Zoey returns after her bathroom trip and goes back sitting down next to Steve. "Oh thank God it was only my period, not diarrhea as I feared."
"Hi, beautiful" Debbie said.
"Hello? Who are you?" Zoey asked.
"I'm Debbie. Steve's former female friend."
"Steve! Did you date this girl?" Zoey asked.
"Yes, but this was a long time ago before you came here. Relax, she dumped me and I moved on" Steve confessed.
"Oh don't worry. No one's taking you anywhere" Zoey said.
"Oh really, want to know more about him? But I can't. I promise to take Barney tattoo-shopping. Here's my number for a lunch outing" Debbie gives a piece of paper to Zoey. "Great seeing you again, nerd!" she leaves.
"Zoey, I can explain…"
"Don't worry, Steve. As long as you're not seeing other women or have feeling for them, you're fine" Zoey comforted Steve with a smile and kisses him on the cheek, while Steve continues to look down.
Later, the scene shifts to the CIA. Roger is disguised as a member of the CIA as he follows Stan around.
"So you see Stan. I just want more attention to Hayley" the alien explained.
"Roger. Why can't you ever leave Jeff and Hayley alone?! You've done enough damage already" Stan snapped.
"Hey! This is awesome!" someone shouted as he carried a mind controlling device. Someone is being programmed to do all the office work for him.
"Do you see that, Stan? This is perfect! All I need to do is use it on Jeff and Hayley can be mine" Roger said.
"Or even better. I can use this on you and lick my hairy butt!" Stan shouted.
"That too" Roger replied.
End of Act 1
Act 2
The scene takes place at Pearl Bailey High. Zoey was packing her stuff in her book bag and was getting ready to go home. As she closes her locker, Debbie shows up.
"Hi Barbie!" the fat girl shouted.
"Whoa! You're that fat girl I saw at the mall?" Steve's girlfriend said.
"Yeah. Any plans for the weekend?" Debbie asked.
"Well, I have soccer practice in the morning and that's about it" Zoey explained.
"Perfect. Meet me at Pizza Overlord at 1pm, sharp!" Debbie demanded as she walks away.
"Steve! Where are you?" Zoey wondered in a worried tone. Steve shows up after his last class.
"Hey, Zoey. What's up?" he asked.
"Oh nothing. Your ex-girlfriend invited me out this weekend. I wonder if I should go" Zoey wanted to know.
"Go for it. I'm sure nothing can go wrong" Steve said in a confident tone.
"You know, for a nerd, you're always right" Zoey replied with a smile.
"You betcha! Otherwise, life can be a Boron, Iodine, Technetium, and Hydrogen" Steve joked.
"Interesting. I don't know what that means, but that joke is so full of Sulfur, Hydrogen, Iodine, and…
"Nice try!"
Later, the scene shifts to the Smith's household. Roger is carrying the mind control device. He sees Jeff sleeping on the couch. He puts the device on his head quickly so that he doesn't feel anything.
"Excellent. Just make a few notches and VOILA!" Roger exclaimed.
"Let's see here. I command you to wake up."
Jeff wakes up from his nap.
"Uh, what's going on?" he asks.
"Now, demand Hayley to get here. Oh, but first, I'm out of here!" Roger leaves as he commands Jeff to listen to him.
"HAYLEY! Get over here!" Jeff shouted.
Hayley walks by.
"Jeff. What's up?"
Roger looks at the couple while watching in the kitchen. "Perfect! Now Jeff, I command you to slap Hayley multiple times.
Jeff begins to slap his wife.
"OW! OW! OW! OW! Jeff, what the hell?!" Hayley shouted as her husband continues to attack her, but she retaliates with a kick in the groin.
"OW!" Jeff writhed in pain.
"HA HA HA HA! Now no one can stop me know!" Roger shouted. A fly gets on top of Roger's head and gets a mosquito bite.
"OW! Now that hurts!" the alien screamed.
Later, the scene shifts to Pizza Overlord. Zoey is sitting on a table, waiting impatiently.
"Where is that girl?" she wondered.
Debbie finally shows up.
"Hi, little girl. Glad to see you again"
"What are you going to do with me?" Zoey asked.
"Just relax. I want to let you know what you think of Steve" Debbie wanted to know.
"First of all, Steve likes me. Second of all, he's hot and smart. Third of all, why are you wasting my time? I should be at home, Skyping with my boyfriend" Zoey rebutted.
"Okay, I think that it's best that we talk" Debbie sat down next to Zoey
"I'm listening, I guess" she agreed.
"Good. Let's start. Steve and I became a couple, twice. He is such a sweet guy, until I realize how immature he is" Debbie explained.
"Like what?" Zoey asked.
"Let's see: hurting the other candidates for class president, ruining my friend's Bar Mitzvah, using me as a kissing machine. Zoey, are you sure Steve is the guy?" Debbie wanted an answer.
"I'm sure he is. He's such a sweet guy. What's done is done. Let him go. You lose. I have Steve and we're a happy couple. Get over it!" Zoey snapped.
"All right then. I think that I should tell you this but uh, Steve is…"
Outside of the pizzeria, "WHAT?!" Zoey shouted.
Later, the scene shifts to the Smith kitchen. Hayley is getting soda from the fridge. Out of nowhere, Jeff shows up and gives his wife a wedgie.
"OWW! What the hell, Jeff?!" Hayley screamed as she fixes her white underwear inside her pants. Roger is watching her and laughs at it.
Following that, Hayley is lying on her couch, taking a nap. Jeff shows up, puts a bucket of warm water on her hand, and she wets herself. Roger watches the scene and laughs at it.
"Ha ha ha ha ha! This is perfect! Jeff Fischer is mine!" Roger screamed excitedly.
Later, the next day at school, Steve is whistling to a song as he was getting ready for class.
"Hi Steve. We need to talk." Zoey shows up to her boyfriend.
"What's wrong?" Steve asked.
"On my outing with Debbie, she told me you used women to lose your virginity, you hurt innocent people to pleasure yourself, you rather spend time with your friends and ditch your loved ones, and that you would constantly hit on other girls and date the next girl that you find attractive. Debbie told me that she was the dream girl you always wanted and no one else would"
"Zoey, (sigh) fine, yes. I did admit the past" Steve confessed.
"Steve, is this true?" Zoey wanted to know.
"(Sigh) It's true. But this was a very long time ago. You were away at Denver and she was the right girl before I met you. I didn't know you. I saw you as the new girl here in this school. Besides, now that we met, it's time to let go of the past and move on" Steve explained.
"Steve, be honest. Do you still have feelings for Debbie?"
"But Zoey…"
"Steve, I don't know if this will work. Debbie told me everything about you. Maybe she's right. You're just a nerdy, horny little boy who wants to lose his virginity" Zoey sadly said.
"What are you saying?"
"Steve, I think it's best if we take a break from our relationship. I need time to think things over. I hope you understand" Zoey kissed a sad Steve on the cheek and walks away.
"Zoey, come back!" Steve shouted with tears streaming down his face.
Out of nowhere, Principal Lewis shows up in his red thong underwear.
"Quick, Smith. Hide me. I lost at strip poker and they want my skivvies!" he shouted.
End of Act 2
Act 3
The next scene takes place at Steve's room, as he was lying in his bed, looking like if he saw a ghost. Hayley walks by, since Steve's door was left opened.
"Hey buddy. What's up? How come you're not with your friends or Zoey?" she asked her little brother.
"It's because Snot, Toshi, and Barry went to the movies and forgot to invite me. More importantly, Zoey thinks I'm a perv, thinking that I only use women for sex, which is not true!" he explained to his big sister.
"Steve, that's not true. I'm sure none of those tactics are true. I hope nothing is controlling Zoey" Hayley said.
"I bet Debbie is" Steve said.
"What makes you say that?" she asked her brother.
"It's like something or someone is trying to split us apart. Debbie wants us to be separated just so she can take me back. Guess what? It's not going to work like that. Hayley, Zoey and I are two peas in a pod. We're like Gyarados and Milotic of the relationship. I want Zoeve to last forever. In fact, I even imagined us two getting married someday" Steve said.
"Wait, you can't marry Zoey yet. You're not even 18" Hayley made a rebuttal.
"The point is, sis, is that I love her. So anyways, how's Jeff doing?" Steve asked his sister.
"I have bigger problems with Jeff. He isn't the guy I married. It's like something or someone took control of him" Hayley was worried.
"Oh really? What did the aliens do to him when he was in space?" he asked.
"I'm not sure, little bro. I bet it was something he did to make him this crazy" Hayley replied.
"I wish Jeff was still sane, so I can get advice from him" Steve wondered.
"Steve, if Jeff was okay, he would help you. Just pretty much talk to Zoey and explain that you love her and that you're not a pervert" Hayley explained.
"You're right sis. I'll do whatever it takes to win back Zoey. Thanks, Hayley. Well, good luck saving Jeff!" he hugs his sister and leaves his room.
Later, Stan and Steve are sitting on the kitchen table.
"Dad, how did you get mom the first or second time?" Steve asked his dad.
"Well, son. It takes courage and strength and handsomeness to do all this. I got your mother just because I was the man on the relationship" Stan explained. "So son, in order to win back Zoey, you need to stick it to the man! I mean it. Just stick it to the man. Chicks like it when guys stick it to the men!"
"Dad, I'm not so sure."
"Be a man! If you love Zoey, get her back!" Stan ordered.
"You know what, dad? You're right! I need to stop acting like a little boy and become a man! If you don't mind, I'm going to get my girl back!" Steve declared as he stood up from his chair and ran towards the door.
"Go get her, son" Stan proudly says as he also stood up and walks away.
When no one was present, Klaus pops up and looks at the audience.
"Ha, ha, ha! I made it into the fan fiction. Pay me, bitches!" the pet goldfish shouted.
Francine pops out of nowhere. "Ha ha! Me too!" she waves her right hand.
Later, Zoey is playing soccer at the school soccer field. There was a game going. She scored the last minute goal to give Langley Falls a 3-2 victory against a rival school from the eastside of Virginia.
"Good girl, Zoey! Way to go! Go girl! Great job!" her teammates congratulated and spanked her.
Zoey just smiled and gave her teams high fives. Later, she is seen walking towards the bus stop with her bags and dressed in her normal outfit. Out of nowhere, she was hit in the head with a pan and got knocked out and was kidnapped by Debbie.
"Yes! Got her!" she screamed as she wrapped Zoey with a rope and place a bag over her head and puts her in a van and drives off.
Steve is walking down the street, looking down. He sees a black van driving really fast. He sees a person being covered with a bag in the head.
"Hey. That person needs help!" he runs towards the van.
Moments later, Zoey is tied up in a chair.
"Where am I?" she asked herself as she finally wakes up.
"Hi, Zoey. Now that I spilled the beans, I can take back what's mine!" Debbie shows up.
"What do you want from me?" she asked.
"I want my Steve back!" she ordered.
"I told you! Steve loves me more than you! He's mine! Get over it!" Zoey shouted.
"Okay, I guess we'll do it the hard way!" Debbie takes out a pan and proceeds to attack Zoey. Fortunately, Steve arrived at the right time!
"Debbie, stop!" Steve ordered.
"Steve!" Zoey was happy to see him arrive on time.
"Steve, make your choice! It's either me or her!" Debbie ordered him.
"Listen, Debbie. I only date girls that want me to date them, not just because I have to. I know you broke up with me, twice. I can't simply take you back for all the crap you made me put up with. Besides, I know the girl that I want to be with.
"Okay, now hurry up and tell me!" Debbie shouted. Steve looks the tied up Zoey or the pan-holding Debbie.
"(Sighs) Zoey, I'm sorry but, you will no longer see me…"
Zoey becomes sad.
"…be with Debbie anymore. I choose you over Debbie" he said in a happy tone as he runs and takes out a pocketknife to free Zoey.
"Oh, thank you Steve" Zoey ran towards him and the two hug and share a kiss.
"Damn it, Steve! No wonder you suck! I never liked you in the first place. Screw you guys!" Debbie shouted as she walks away while she drops the pan. Zoey proceeds to pick it up, throws it at Debbie's head, and she falls face flat to the floor.
"That will teach her not to mess with Zoeve!" she exclaimed.
"Zoey! Thank God you're okay!" Steve said as the couple hugged tightly and kissed each other as well.
"Thanks for choosing me over Debbie, Steve! I always knew you were the right one" Zoey exclaimed.
"No problem, girl! That's what a real boyfriend does!" Steve agreed as the two kiss on the lips once again.
Later, Hayley tries to figure out why Jeff has been a bully. As Jeff was getting ready to smoke weed in their room, Hayley attacks him by tackling her husband down to the ground and hits his head with a bat. He was knocked out. It was discovered that a mind controlling device was taking over Jeff as it falls out of his head.
"OW! What happened, babe?" he asked as he regained consciousness.
"Jeff, you're okay! Something was taking control of you to make you do all those mean things!" she explained.
"Babe, I'm sorry if I hurt you! I never meant to in the first place" Jeff apologized.
"It's okay Jeff. Now we need to figure out…"
"ROGER!" they both screamed in unision. The alien walks by.
"Hey guys! What's going on? Uh oh! This isn't looking good, you guys!" Roger panicked as an outraged Jeff and Hayley began to attack Roger and he runs away.
"AHHHH! Leave me alone!" Roger shouted and cried as he was seen running away from Hayley and Jeff who were chasing him with bats.
Finally, Steve and Zoey are eating burgers and fries at McDonald's. (A/E Sorry vegans, but Zoey DOES eat meat, despite her hot attractive figure)
"Steve, I'm glad we're together again" Zoey said.
"Of course babe. As long as we stick together, nothing can stop us no" Steve exclaimed. "French fry?"
"Sure" he stuffs a fry on Zoey's mouth. Steve looks out the window. "What the hell?" he sees Roger being chased by Hayley and Jeff.
"AHHHH! Leave me alone!" Roger shouted and cried as he was seen running away from Hayley and Jeff who were chasing him with bats.
"Never mind them! My turn!" Zoey does the same thing to Steve by feeding him a fry and the two kiss on the lips.
End of Act 3
That's it, guys! I hope you enjoy it. Stayed tuned for next week's episode. Read and review, and peace out, folks!