When Daryl left that morning everyone expected him to come back with supper and baby formula, but that wasn't all he found. This discovery is going to test his mind, his strength and his beliefs. With all his attention focused elsewhere, what will happen to his budding relationship with Carol and his rapidly developing friendships with the rest of the group? Caryl.
Rick watched in silence as Daryl unhooked a line of squirrels from his belt, the redneck handed them to the sheriff and then climbed off his bike. Rick could see by the way the man turned his back to him and paid attention to his bike that this particular trip had been difficult, he was completely rigid, even as he bent slightly at the waist to focus on something. Rick couldn't see what Daryl was so interested in and despite being curious, he stood firmly rooted on the spot, it was not wise to sneak up on a tense and frustrated Dixon. He just waited for the man to finish up very patiently, he felt a little unnerved by the dead animals he was carrying, but after seeing so many dead people Rick quickly got over the small furry creatures.
For a second Rick felt confused when he heard Daryl mumbling, Rick knew he was not talking to him and Daryl wasn't the kind of person who would talk to himself, he was even more confused when Daryl began unbuttoning his blue shirt to reveal his sleeveless green Tee. Rick smiled a little awkwardly when the other man glanced back over his shoulder, this time he directed his words to Rick. "Need yer help with these supplies." Daryl said quietly prompting the man to immediately step forward as he threw the wild squirrels over his shoulder the same way he'd seen Daryl do many times, when he reached the bike, Rick could not believe what he saw.
"Where'd you find them?" Rick asked in a hush tone crouching down lower to take a peek at what sat bundled in his shirt.
Daryl had his arm securely wrapped around the bundle and just stared for a moment or two, not knowing how to word his experience properly. "Merle..." His brother's name was the only explanation he could offer until he could process what had just happened.
Rick seemed to understand and shifted reaching his hand out to take hold, but Daryl stopped him, instead handing him a shopping basket full of formula and then handed him his crossbow. Something he would never usually do. Rick kept his eye on Daryl as he carried his occupied shirt up to the prison and in to the cell block.
"Carl!" Rick called as they bundled their way in, Rick first and then Daryl who looked down in to his shirt with obvious panic. "Take your sister from Carol. Beth, I need you to get some water. Hershel, Carol, on me." Rick barked as he rushed through the block, dumping the basket, the food and crossbow to make room in one of the cells. Some of Judith's stuff was filling the bed so he shoved every thing to the far end of the bed, not caring about some of it falling off and probably breaking. Daryl swept in behind him and carefully lay the shirt down on the mattress, as he pulled his hands away he saw them trembling violently and felt overcome with an emotion becoming far too familiar. Fear. He knelt to a crouch like Rick had outside and gripped the bed, never taking his eyes off his shirt until he heard the familiar sound of Hershel's crutches.
"Oh my God..." Carol whispered stepping in the cell staring at the bed, not the bed itself but more the two tiny children that lay wrapped up in Daryl's grimy shirt. She looked between Rick and Daryl, the latter had paled dramatically and couldn't take his eyes off the two little ones.
"Do somethin'." Daryl whispered one hand reaching to touch the tiny, delicate fingers poking out of his shirt. "They was awake when I got 'em, please, do somethin'." He begged, feeling completely useless. As his fingers grazed the soft baby-like skin he could feel his chest squeezing and his eyes began to sting with un-shed tears.
When Hershel arrived his face had been the same picture as Carol's, mouth wide in shock but it only lasted for a second or so as Rick grabbed a chair opposite the children, allowing the incapacitated man somewhere to sit. "I need some room." Hershel said directing it to Rick and then Daryl, the man who brought the children in met the eyes of their doctor and his fear instantly became fury.
"I ain't leavin' 'em!" He hissed furiously, he had found them, he had to make sure they were safe. Daryl was never going to leave their sides, these beautiful children. He felt a hand rest on his shoulder as he stared down helplessly at the nearest child, a little girl. She was barely two feet tall and was dangerously thin, her clothes were filthy and her chin length blonde hair looked matted and muddy. With just a little blood mixed in. Dirt and mud covered the little girl's skin like she'd been aimlessly wandering in the forest for weeks.
The other child. The little boy looked a bit better than his sister, his clothes were just as dirty and his hair dark brown hair also caked in mud like hers. But there didn't look to be any blood mixed in with it. The tiny boy was a little taller than the girl and didn't look as starved as his sister, he had also moved more than she had, he seemed closer to consciousness.
Carol's fingers squeezed Daryl's shoulder making him tear his eyes from the kids to the woman. "Let me see to your head while Hershel takes care of the children, there is nothing you can do for them now until they wake up. Just give Hershel the space he needs." She said gently, Carol had never seen Daryl react this way to anybody or anything before. He looked completely distraught at the thought of leaving the two children he found even if Carol was right, he was more of a hindrance than a help where he sat but these children needed him. He saw Beth rush in with a canteen of water and practically snatched it from her hands, unscrewing the cap and kneeling back down beside the bed. With his free hand he picked the fragile girl up to pour the water in to her mouth, while she was unconscious it was difficult to get her to take it without Hershel's help, the little boy on the other hand seemed to drink the water himself.
He was not awake as he drank but at the same time the boy was not unconscious, he was almost just sleeping after a hard day, Daryl shared the canteen of water between the children and just watched in fear and angst to see them open their eyes. Nothing happened making Hershel repeat his request and this time Carol pulled at Daryl's shoulder gently urging him to stand up, his eyes never left the children as he stumbled out of the cell and in to the next, where he could sit down.
For a while Carol just watched Daryl, he was in a state of panic she had never seen on any one before, much less him. His hands were trembling violently forcing him to tuck them under his arms to try to gain control and Daryl's breathing was loud and erratic, like he was hyperventilating. Carol had seen and heard enough of Daryl in this state and wanted nothing more than to get him back to normal, whatever had happened when he came across these children and messed his mind up badly.
Carol instructed the man to take a few deep breaths and concentrate on following a regular pattern, it took a little while for his mind to process what he needed to making him clutch his chest, Carol knelt in front of Daryl to meet his eyes, giving him the extra reassurance he needed to get through this. Eventually Daryl's shoulders slumped and despite a little uncharacteristic wheezing he seemed normal, he just sat on the edge of the bed without saying a word and let Carol tend to the wound on his head. "You'll probably feel a little unsteady and uncomfortable after that, but its nothing to worry about." She said gently as she lightly dabbed a wet cloth on the open cut, she told him that she couldn't stitch the wound and didn't really want to use a meter of gauze just for one tiny cut, so he'd have to clean it regularly every day to prevent infection. But Daryl was barely listening, he was in a completely different place. "Daryl?" Carol called grabbing his attention. "Where'd you find them?"
Daryl sighed and scrubbed his face. He felt so drained and miserable and numb. Besides momentary panic Daryl felt absolutely lifeless. "I-I... killed him." Daryl whispered almost shell-shocked. Carol just stared at the man waiting for him to tell her more, she wasn't phased by him admitting to murder any more not like she would have before. In this world murder was normal. "M-Merle. I killed him."
Carol gasped as she stared at the man, his own brother? Why would Daryl kill his own brother after spending so long looking for him? She knew Merle had been working with the Governor and she knew the Governor had pitted Daryl and Merle against each other in some sick game where they had to fight in a ring of Walkers, Daryl had told her that much since his miraculous escape but told her nothing else. He didn't tell her that Merle had escaped too, where had Merle been staying? What had he been doing? Where did the two children fit in to all this? "What happened Daryl?" Carol asked slowly sinking on to the bed beside him.
"When we escaped Woodbury I asked him t' come back here wit' me, but he kept sayin' no. Told me t' go back on my own, he'd live off the land nearby, says I can find him real easy and won't lose him again. Found his tent when I wer' out huntin', could hear the twins cryin', they wer' starving so I gave 'em the food ya made me. Jus' sat in the tent wit' 'em while they cried, didn't know what t' do, I heard Walkers comin' so I grabbed 'em both and ran..." Daryl trailed off a little, taking a deep breath so he could remember entirely what happened. "...Ran straight in ta him. Told me I couldn't take 'em, I told him it weren't safe fer 'em out there, I wer' gonna bring 'em here. He started fuckin' yellin' makin' 'em cry and shit, wouldn't stop. Kept sayin' they wer' his and I couldn't hav' 'em."
Carol nodded as he spoke. "Where did he find them?"
"When the Governor found 'im, they wer' already part'a his group." Daryl looked up from his trembling hands to the woman beside him, she felt undeniable confusion and he could completely understand why. Why would Merle join the Governor's group and then kidnap two innocent children after escaping the dictators reign? They were just two random children living in a town in the middle of nowhere. "...I-I couldn't let him keep 'em there... t-they're... mine." The man whispered staring straight in to the woman's eyes.
Carol's mouth fell open for the second time in fifteen minutes, she was speechless at first. She had no idea Daryl had children, he didn't seem like the type to have kids and he never once mentioned them, why wouldn't he mention that his two very young children were missing? "D-Daryl..." His name was the only thing she could force out of her mouth.
"Imogen-Rose and Archer-Bennett." He whispered staring blankly at the wall in front of him that separated the room next door, the room with his children, lying unconscious probably from shock. He couldn't do anything but just sit beside Carol in an uncomfortable silence, she was going get mad Daryl kept such a massive secret from her, but at that moment Daryl didn't want to think about it.
Carol tried to get more information from the man but he couldn't say anything, he was completely stunned by the arrival of his babies. Daryl's head shot up from in his hands when he heard his name being called by Hershel, but what actually drove him to get up was the sound of hysterical wailing. The crying child was screaming only one word. Daddy.
Daryl bolted from the cell Carol had directed him too back to the first, he found his footsteps faltering as he reached the door, lying in Maggie's arms was a tiny boy desperately clinging to the strap of her top. For a long while Daryl couldn't make himself walk in and take his child, his own flesh and blood from the young woman because he was scared, he was terrified if he touched him then little Archer would just evaporate in to thin air. But that was his baby right there. Daryl looked to the bed and felt his heart tug painfully at the sight of Imogen still just laying there, her chest moving up and down silently, she was completely undisturbed by her brother's cries. She looked terrible. Her skin was pasty white but covered in raised red lumps, they looked itchy and made Daryl's skin crawl, he had never seen anything like it before. The little girl's lips were slightly blue despite her red face and it made him want to scoop her in to his arms, he wanted to make the little girl feel better.
Carol gently pushed the man in front of her, making him stumble towards Maggie and his son. He thought they were dead. Maggie smiled softly at Daryl, she didn't seem shocked or disgusted by his fear, she seemed to understand why he was reluctant to take his baby. "A-Archer?" Daryl whispered, lifting his hand to stroke the little boy's head. The child automatically, like a moth to a flame, turned his head towards his father's voice. There was just a moment when Archer stopped crying to look at the man, trying to recognize someone he hadn't seen in such a long time, then the boy smiled. A smiled filled with genuine joy and happiness.
"Daddy!" The little boy yelled practically throwing himself from Maggie's arms to his father's despite Archer's exhaustion, the boy's arms wrapped around Daryl's neck and squeezed as tightly as he could, he didn't ever want to let go again. Daryl in return cradled the boy as he buried his face in the little one's shoulder, trying to hide tears of joy that filled his eyes from every one else in the room.
"Thought I lost ya boy, you 'n' yer sister." Daryl whispered, Archer snuggled in to Daryl and let his face press against his warm neck. "Never let ya go again. Never." Archer kept repeating the word Daddy in Daryl's neck as he held him, he didn't know what else to do other than cradle the boy, stroking his head. His back. Squeezing him tight to his body. Daryl cleared his throat with a cough and scrubbed his eyes with his hand trying to wipe away any evidence of his tears, he didn't want any of the group seeing him cry, the redneck then turned to the man with crutches as he wrapped Daryl's daughter up in blankets to keep her warm. "What's wrong wit' her?" He asked not knowing whether he wanted to hear the answer, he didn't take his eyes off his only daughter even when his son snuggled further in him and sighed contentedly.
Hershel looked back over his shoulder to the other man knowing the question on his mind. "She ain't scratched or bit, looks like she's in shock." He said honestly seeing Daryl's shoulders sag in silent relief. Archer twisted in Daryl's arms, gripping his father's bicep as he looked at his twin, it was like he knew she was sick.
"Immy?" He whispered in a sad voice, his lips turned downwards as he watched her sleep.
Daryl sighed and moved the boy closer to his sister, letting Archer sit on his leg as he crouched by the bed. Archer laid his head beside Imogen's hand and placed his own hand on her stomach as if he was trying to comfort her. "Immy's sick Arch, so she's sleepin' fer a while." Daryl whispered back in the little one's ear, Archer nodded and repeated the words sick and sleeping to show he understood. The redneck took his little girl's hand in his own and wished for her to get better, as if wishes were enough to bring her back to him.
Carol watched the family with a feeling of jealousy and sadness, Daryl had found both his children alive yet her daughter had died. Daryl might of had his children but one of them was very sick, sick with a condition they could not treat, either she fights it and wins or she fights it and dies. Those were the options. At least Carol didn't have to go through that, on top of Daryl's current feelings.
Whatever had happened at Woodbury had left Daryl pretty volatile, it was like they'd gone back in time to when they'd first met. He was angry and snappy, he preferred to be alone most of the time and didn't engage in much conversation. Carol would often see the man with his head in his hands when he had nothing else to do, he'd be lost deep in thought and would only snap back to reality when she called him out of his mind.
When she tried to talk to him he would reply with simple grunts or shrugs, it was like he'd lost all the social skills he developed over the year. Daryl had been pretty shaky when he got back, he had been covered in sweat, not because he was hot but because he felt sick to his stomach and was terrified. He refused to speak to anyone for a few days until he got his bearings together, for a little while he sat on his perch just staring at the wall, he'd only move if someone spoke to him.
Carol reached down to the man lightly resting her hand on his shoulder to get his attention. "Would you like me to bring in some water and rags, so you can clean them up?" She asked ignoring every one as they slowly drifted out of the cell leaving just the two adults and the two children. Daryl silently nodded unable to peel his eyes away from his daughter as she lay almost lifeless on the bed.
Archer was still lying next to his sister when Carol came back, Daryl wasn't sure where the bowl came from but she placed it down next to him, he didn't know what to do. Daryl didn't know how to do it. Archer sat up at the sound of the water bowl touching the floor and stared at Carol, the little boy smirked a bit and instantly made Carol think of Daryl, that tiny grin was so unbelievably Daryl it was almost surreal.
"He's just like you." Carol said watching Daryl mindlessly stare at his little girl, the man had lost his two children and now they were back, but it wasn't the same. His little girl was sick and could die, if the little girl died she would eventually reanimate and Daryl would have to watch his own daughter die twice. He couldn't bear the thought. "Do you want me to leave?" Carol asked after a few minutes of silence. She had to get Daryl functioning again before he went in to shock himself, so when he shook his head she jumped in to action reaching for Imogen's boots.
Without thinking Daryl grabbed Carol's wrist to stop her, she forced herself not to wince at the feeling as he stared. "What you doing?" He asked sharply almost as if he was accusing her of something awful. He was surprised the words even came out, his mouth was so dry and his thought were swimming around in his head, he could barely even control his own body. Daryl didn't mean to grab the woman and startle her, but for a moment he felt like he had to protect his daughter, she was in a bad place that left her vulnerable so he had to protect the child. Carol wasn't a danger to Imogen, she was not a danger to anyone but he couldn't stop the way his body reacted.
"She needs to be cleaned up Daryl, if you aren't going to do it, let me." Carol offered meeting his eyes to show she meant his daughter no harm, for a few tense moments Daryl clutched at her arm but let go when Archer threw his hand in to the water and splashed it up his face. Carol immediately began to work by removing the little girl's boots and her socks, she hated the idea of putting the girl back in her dirty clothes again but they had nothing else for her to wear just yet. "Glenn and Maggie have gone to find as many supplies for the children as they can, hopefully they'll find some clothes."
Daryl watched Carol take a rag and carefully begin wiping the little girls feet, they were caked in mud and dirt and had several open sores from constantly running away, they must have caused the little one agony. Carol let out a little gasp when the girls foot twitched, even though she was unconscious wiping the sores caused the child pain. It made Carol feel awful, especially when she began trying to clean up the more stubborn dirt patches making the girl twitch and flinch more, if that was causing Imogen this much pain than cleaning up Archer was going to be horrific. He was going to scream, pretty loud.
Carol very carefully dried the little girl's feet to stop the from getting cold and then worked on cleaning the rest of the child's body, the only part Carol left was Imogen's hair, that would have to wait until she woke up. Seeing the girl clean again let Carol realise how adorable this little one actually looked, she was pretty and probably had Daryl's eyes too just like Archer. "She looks like her Momma." Daryl whispered as if he knew what Carol was thinking. "Their Momma got inta drugs and shit, she'd drop 'em off 'fore goin' on a bender wit' Merle, hated when she came back. She'd take 'em home 'n' not lemme see 'em fer a coupl'a weeks. Didn't plan on havin' babies, she was jus' a one off."
The woman nodded gently and dropped the rag back in the bowl so she could wrap Imogen back up in her blankets, she glanced down at Archer who had repositioned himself in Daryl's arms, his face pressed in to Daryl's chest as he battled to stay awake. Archer's hands held fistfuls of Daryl's shirt and they both knew there was no way they'd get the boy to let go again. "Why don't you take him down to the showers?" Carol suggested looking down at Daryl in pity, she couldn't help it, he looked so lost and frightened.
"I ain't leavin' her." He replied in less than a few seconds. Without a second thought Carol knelt beside Daryl on the floor and placed her hand on the back of his head, making him look at her. "I can't." She watched the man's eyes fill with tears again, every body had seen Daryl cry once. Back in the quarry when he found out Merle was missing, but those were tears of anger and hurt. These were tears of joy, pain, fear, confusion. Any and every emotion possible and it was overwhelming his system, Daryl didn't know how to deal with so many emotions mixed in to one. "I can't." He whispered as a tear escaped and rolled down his face, he was about to angrily wipe it away when Carol caught his wrist holding it in her hand as the tear slipped under his chin.
He didn't even try to pull away from her as she manipulated her hand in his, holding it loosely in her lap. "Don't bottle it up, it'll make you sick. There's nobody else here so if you need to let go, you let go, I won't think any less of you." For a long while the pair sat in silence, Carol watched as Daryl soundlessly let the tears slip down his face, he was completely numb to everything. Even though seeing such a rock solid man cry made Carol's heart ache and her mind scream to make it better Carol didn't budge, Daryl needed to come to terms with everything that was going on around him.
He'd been held captive at Woodbury and forced to fight his brother in a pit of Walkers, after a daring escape a few weeks later he was then forced to murder his brother to rescue his children, the two children he assumed were dead and gone. They were right in front of him yet one of them, his baby girl was sick and looked close to death, he couldn't cope with that.
Daryl just kept staring at his little girl, willing her to wake up and smile at him but Imogen just lay there on the mattress completely lifeless. He was so happy to have them back in his arms, but he felt guilty for not trying to look for them, he felt awful for not taking them into his care when their mother left them on his doorstep.
When Daryl finally decided enough was enough he wiped his eyes dry and took a deep breath, looking down at Archer who slept peacefully in his arms. "Jus' let him sleep fer a while, take him fer a shower later." Carol nodded as Daryl avoided looking at her, he pulled his hand out of hers again and scrubbed his face. "Will ya stay wit' 'em fer a bit, wanna go take a walk." The man said quickly standing up and placing Archer beside his twin sister on the bunk, he hovered over the pair for a few seconds before kissing them both on the head and practically running out of the cell to find open air, he didn't even give Carol chance to reply, he just left and didn't come back for hours.