2am crack-fic - what can I say? Amanda & Simon spoiler-less, crack-fic-y goodness. Enjoy :)
If there's anything she loves Channel Seven for, it's 30 Rock. Okay, so there isn't a lot more that she loves Channel Seven for. Everything runs late, and most things are trash, but she is, regardless, at this moment watching 30 Rock on Channel Seven. It's one of the few shows she actually makes an effort to make time for. Tonight Jack and Liz {with stow-away Jenna} have gone to the birthday party of the last male descendent of the Hapsburg line. She wonders on a scale of we-can-take-a-joke to off-with-their-heads how pissed off the actual Hapsburgs were. She thinks they must've sued, or at least have been deeply pissed off, as Simon would say.
It's eleven forty-five, Simon has fallen asleep on the couch, his head in her lap, and she is trying to suppress laugher because it isn't "Oh how witty" tinkling laughter, it's wake the neighbours, hurt your stomach, violently convulse, and probably fall to the floor laughter. The kind of laughter she watches and loves this show for. In short: Simon waking laughter.
Her fingers slip through his hair instinctively – she's sure it relaxes her just as much as it relaxes him, if not more.
She's not a lot like Liz Lemon – she's more confidant, more comfortable with herself, relationships, sex, and has the good sense to keep her mouth shut and not ask questions like "Is this a date?" when it probably isn't, but it's quite feasible – and emotionally advantageous – to pretend it is. She glances down at Simon; she had enough moments like that with him to know.
She internally agrees with Jenna when she says "If you dress well and enter with confidence you can get in anywhere." and successfully manages to keep quiet as she finds out that that means Jenna showed a breast to get in {Only one, though. This isn't the White House}, but snorts a loud laugh as Jenna offers to have Jack executed when she's "the queen of Australia."
Liz quickly corrects her. The queen of Austria.
Amanda shakes her head, smiling. She thinks Australia would be much more fun if Jenna was the queen of it...
She curves a lock of Simon's hair behind his ear, her hand continuing on a journey down his neck, shoulder, and landing on his bicep; with the other she reaches for her glass of wine, bringing it to her lips and almost shooting it through her nose as Prince Gerhardt is revealed.
If Simon were awake she definitely would've pointed out that if he were ever to buy her an impressively lovely necklace, she would not object to him Richard-Gere-In-Pretty-Woman snapping her fingers with the box, and considers waking him because Isabella Rossellini is in it, and he has a rather soft spot for Isabella Rossellini. Then again, maybe it's better he stays asleep...
The high point of this episode for her, however, is when everyone {but for lovably dippy Jenna} starts singing Happy Birthday to the Birthday Prince in German. Amanda's eyes bulge out of her skull and a familiar wave of I-am-so-bloody-sick-of-everyone-on-the-goddamn-planet-being-able-to-speak-German-except-ME rises within her. She half expects Simon to stir, to respond to the sound of German rather than the usual American English of the show, but he doesn't.
She rests her head on her unoccupied hand. Freaking German. The universe is conspiring against her.
"It's not my Birthday..." He mutters almost unintelligibly in his sleep.
"I know, handsome." She replies soothingly, stroking his hair rhythmically. Damn it, he does respond better to German than English when he's asleep.
Before she has a chance to get too bogged down in her lack of German speaking, her entire frame begins shaking with laughter as Isabella Rossellini's character abuses Liz over her fake relationship with Jack before physically attacking her, ripping her hair out and dress off. Once Amanda's finally gotten a handle on herself her brain skips down crazy lane.
She wonders if that would be how Eva would've reacted to her had they ever met. She stops herself then
– It's probably not that far from the truth, though.
But she reminds herself that she's not really that much like Liz, and Simon is definitely NOT like Jack Donaghy.
While the credits roll Amanda looks down at her partner, sound asleep in her lap. No, he's nothing like Jack. Beyonce and Shakira would eat him alive...