Scumbag had a weird name from when he was born but it turned out to be his personality. He was known as the Outsider and was constantly told by his parents,
"You are a Rotting piece of Do Da Da!" His parents were mentally unstable. As a young boy he screamed,
"I Want To Be On T.V.!" Eventually his wish came true. One day Scumbag was walking home from an Espionage party and was confronted by a man "On The Wagon". This man was a convict who escaped from prison just a few days ago. Now he remembered it being talked about on the news that morning. The convict put a gun to the Outsider's head and said,
"If you do not do what I say I will make you Suffocate." Of course the outsider agreed and was taken to a hideout in the sewers below his suburbia. For days the Outsider had been trapped in the sewers controlled by the convict. He was never given anything to eat and was forced to drink drain water. He did not know where that water came from! Scumbag believed that the convict was insane. He never went to sleep. Also he would say things like,
"I'm Sick Of Me." And,
I have been Desensitized!"
Around 11:30 one night the outsider got his chance to escape this hell. The convict finally fell asleep. In the man's sleep he was screaming
"HA HA YOU'RE DEAD!" At that point the Outsider made his move and bolted for the gun. The gun that held him hostage for days… It had no bullets in it.
"FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCC CCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!" The outsider screamed. Scumbag was loud enough to wake up the convict. Scumbag ran over to the man and knocked him senseless. Blood was dripping from the man's eye as Scumbag dragged him up the depths of the sewer. When he smelled fresh air again, he felt great. Still absolutely fucking pissed, but great. He left the man where he felt like it (in the middle of the street) and went home. Once he was home, his parents screamed,
"We are Tired Of Waiting For You. You Lied. You said that you would be home days ago!"
"I don't want to talk about it." Scumbag said as he went to bed. The next day there was a big commotion on the news about a mass murderer being caught in the middle of the street. Scumbag decided that he was going to live up to his name and take the credit. In a later interview he realized,
"Damn, I am on T.V." Later that same day he called his friend James and told him,
"Man, I Don't Wanna Fall in Love, I'm not ready to be loved." James replied,
"Dude, I cannot talk right now, I have some chicks fighting over me at the moment."
"What are their names?" Scumbag asked
"I'm pretty sure their names are Amy and Ashley, I am not sure. BYE" And he hung up.
In recollection of these events, Scumbag thought,
"Damn, I am going to bed."