Miss them terribly, could read their story forever! Both PP and ABC suck…
Ok, so at some point I'm gonna reference John and Nat's ages. Since Jessica (and subsequently Natalie) were born on-air in 1986, that would make Nat 17 when she is engaged to Chris and meets John for the first time in 2003.
This doesn't work. So I check to see what yr MA was born, Dec1979, which would make her 37 when this story begins…I still didn't feel that was right either so I split the difference between the two and came up with 1982, that would make Nat 21, old enough to tend bar when she meets John.
With that being said, it is only hinted at how much older than Nat John is. ME was born in Feb of 1967 which would make potentially John 49 when this story begins…again didn't feel right. I need them to both be a smidge younger. MA & ME a little over 11 years apart. I thought that was a good rule to follow so, John was born in 1971 in my world. And that is my logic behind that.
As usual, I am following the 'soap writers rule' of only looking up half of any legal or medical issue in this story. No offence to anyone with any medical issues I use. I tried not to go into too much detail because of the 'soap writers rule'.
Prolog
August 2016
This isn't exactly the way she thought she would be spending her first wedding anniversary. She rinsed the last bowl and put it in the dishwasher, closed the door and turned it on. Flowers and dinner out maybe. Actually, this should have been their third anniversary. What they had thought was their first was spent naked on the floor in front of the fireplace in their bedroom.
She sighed as she leaned back against the counter and thought back over all they had been through in the last thirteen years of their relationship. They had been through so much.
She sighed again and looked around the kitchen. It was free of clutter and surface dirt, so as far as she was concerned, it was clean enough.
At that moment, there was a knock on the door. The first time she had heard him knock on his own door, she cried all night. It wasn't right, and she told him he didn't have to knock but, he said it didn't feel right not to.
So, she cried all night that night, not only because of that but, because it was the first night he took the kids away. She'd long since stopped crying. Oh, she would tear up occasionally but the truth was she didn't have time to pity the situation they were in anymore. Her kids needed her.
Straightening her shirt, she made her way to the door.
"Hey," she said opening it wide and sweeping her hand out indicating he could come in.
"Hey," he said back. She still took his breath away. After all these years, her blue eyes and her fiery hair….
"They're still upstairs packing their things. I'll go get them," she said. The sight of him, made her heart pound, she could smell him. Leather and soap. She willed her heart to stop beating so hard, she was afraid he could hear it.
He smiled at her, and put a hand out not intending to touch her. He hadn't touched her in so long, he missed it. He only hoped she would wait a moment.
"Actually, if you have a minute….." he let his voice trail off, not really sure what he wanted to say.
She just nodded and looked at him expectantly, wondering what he wanted. They hadn't had a real conversation that wasn't about the kids in months.
"Well….I just," he started, shook his head and cleared his throat nervously, "I uh…..I just wanted to say, uhm," he stammered, then pulled a small blue box out of his pocket, he took a deep breath and said quickly, "happy anniversary."
John held the box out to her, she was like a fish opening and closing her mouth, not sure what to say.
Natalie swallowed hard, her eyes filling with tears, "John," she gasped, "I….I-I-I didn't…."
"No…no it's…..you've already given me…three of the best presents ever….for the rest of my life," he could feel tears prickling behind his eyes, "it's ok. It's just something…..just something I thought you would like," he shoved the box closer to her hoping she would take it, afraid she wouldn't. She hesitantly reached out and took it in her hand.
She looked up into his eyes for the first time in a long time. His beautiful blue eyes, she knew how they sparkled when he was happy and how dark they could smolder when they made love but, she hadn't seen anything but, flat blue in a long time.
She slowly opened the box. It was a small delicate, silver bracelet. She placed her hand on her chest and gasped. "Oh John. It's beautiful," she said, with a small smile. She could feel her heart swell up.
"Yeah?" He asked nervously, and smiled a small embarrassed smile at her.
She carefully picked it up to see that there was a small charm attached. An emerald set into a silver charm of a four leaf clover.
"Yeah," she smiled up at him, "it really, really is." She couldn't tear her eyes away from his if she wanted to, "help me?" she said softly.
He looked up at her surprised she'd ask him.
She nodded indicating she was sure, set the box down on the coffee table and held out her arm. He gently took the bracelet from her and took a few steps closer so he could reach properly. They hadn't been this close in months. He could smell her perfume, her skin….he swallowed hard. God did he miss her.
He slid the clasp in place, and watched as her eyes sparkled as they ran over his gift. It wasn't much but, it made him happy to see how happy it made her.
"I love it…thank you," she said softly. They found their eyes locked again. He reached up and ran the backs of the fingers on his right hand down her cheek. Turning his hand he copped her cheek and ran his thumb over her jaw. Her heart speed up again. She felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room.
His fingers were burning where he touched her face. Her skin was so warm. They moved at the same time slowly drawing closer, he couldn't wait to feel her lips on his again. He rested his nose against hers. He felt her hands come up to rest on his chest. He wouldn't kiss her if she didn't want him to but, he could feel her melt against him. He leaned down and-
"Dad!" Liam yelled from the stairs. John and Natalie jumped apart guiltily. John rubbed his hand over his face, trying to recover quickly.
"Yeah?" He said turning to face his five year old son bounding down the stairs. He couldn't see her but he felt Natalie move away from him.
"I've been waiting for you all day," Liam said with a giant smile on his face.
"Well, you know…I had to work today but, I'm here now. Are you ready to go? Hey, what do you guys want to do tonight?" He said focusing on his son.
"I'm ready but, Laney is still packing," Liam shook his head in disapproval, "I told her there was no reason to bring that many dolls." John chuckled and seeing movement out of the corner of his eye, looked toward the stairs. There stood his three year old daughter, her long, red curls shining in the fading sunlight. He loved all of his children but, this one….this one right here…she had him wrapped around her finger.
"Hey there darling, you ready to go?" he asked her. He couldn't help but smile at her, she looked so much like her mother. Alana shook her head 'no'.
"How come? What's wrong?" He said moving around the couch to the stairs.
John and Natalie had gotten used to the fact that unless their daughter had something to say, it was only nods and shakes of her head they would get. Occasionally they would get a shrug of one or both of her shoulders. Lately, Laney had started using facial expressions to express her feelings about something as well but, if she didn't need to say it out loud, she didn't. It wasn't that she couldn't, she chose not to.
At this time, she only struggled to hold up the bag she was attempting to carry. Apparently, it was too heavy.
"You want me to get that for you?" He asked, she nodded but, he was already headed up to her. Picking up the bag and taking her hand they walked down the stairs together.
"Do you really need this many dolls for just one night?" John asked her, she looked at him like he had two heads and nodded vigorously. He chuckled and looked up at Natalie. She was looking at them wistfully, he could tell she was a hundred miles away.
"You ok?" he asked her, concerned that he had upset her earlier. He knew she wanted that almost kiss as much as he did.
She took a deep breath and shook her head as if to clear it, "yeah, I'm fine, thanks. Uhm…by the way. Sean isn't feeling well."
"Again?" John asked. His youngest son, at a little over a year, seemed to be sick a lot lately.
"Yeah, you know, just another small fever, he's a little cranky. I thought it would be better to keep him here just in case he's up all night. An-and that way he won't keep all of you up all night," she said, then lowered her voice a little, "or any of the other guests."
John had been staying at the hotel for the last few months. Roxy was kind enough to give him a suite this time. It was a little larger than the room he'd had before but, really the only difference was there was a door separating the living area from the bedroom. She gave him a couple of camp beds he could take out when the kids came for a visit and pack away after they left.
"I thought if he was here in the morning, I could take him to the doctor first thing," she twisted her wedding band nervously, "I promise, I'm not trying to keep him away from you."
"No, I know. I'm just…..he's been sick a lot lately, hasn't he?" John asked perplexed. Liam was hardly ever sick as a baby, and Laney, having been born premature was at risk for several illnesses but, luckily she only had the occasional ear infection or fever associated with cutting teeth. However, Sean seemed to just recently have a rash of ear infections and fevers every time they turned around.
"Yeah, I know. But, these little viruses just have to run their course I guess. I really don't want to have to give him a bunch of medicine either but, what if it's something else and I didn't take him….you know," she looked at him with a 'what do I do ' look, shrugging slightly.
"No, yeah you should take him but, will you just call me when you're done and let me know what they've said?" He asked, still concerned.
"Of course, I will. And you know I'll be in after I take him so…if that's ok?" She added nervously. She sometimes forgot he was her boss too.
He smiled at her, "of course, take your time with him." John turned to locate his two oldest children finding them standing directly behind him and completely ready to go. John and Natalie both chuckled seeing them standing there like little soldiers .
"Well, ok…I guess we are ready to go," he smiled and turned back to Natalie, "if you need anything in the night, no matter what time, call me."
"I will. We should be fine," she smiled back and followed them to the door.
Opening the front door and ushering the kids out onto the porch, John turned around, leaned back against the open door and looked back at Natalie, "happy anniversary Natalie," he said.
She had walked to the door and placed her hand on the door knob, leaning against it in the opposite direction and gave him a small smile, "happy anniversary John."
She watched them pull out of the driveway then closed the door. Leaning against it, she held the bracelet John had given her up so she could look at it more closely. It's was a beautiful, silver charm. A four leaf clover with and emerald gem in the center. A four leaf clover was a charm for good luck. 'Boy wouldn't that be nice', she thought. She flipped it over and saw that it was engraved. Her breath caught as she gasped.
'You and Me
I love you,
John'
She slid down the door to sit on the floor and cried for the first time in a long time.
~jolie~
John breezed through the doors of the diner after dropping Liam off at preschool and Laney at Llanfair. Liam was set to start kindergarten in a few weeks. It was hard to believe he was old enough already.
"Hey brother," Michael said when John approached the table.
"How's it going there Mikey?" John said, turning the cup over as the waitress appeared to pour him some coffee. Mumbling his thanks, he took a sip of the hot liquid.
"Ok, you?" Michael asked in a general tone.
"Yeah," John answered absentmindedly.
"So?" Michael asked, leaning forward putting his elbows on the table like a little kid.
"So...what?" John was confused as he looked up at his brother.
"So...what happened last night?" Michael said slyly.
"Ah…I went and picked up the kids, we watched a movie, had pizza and went to bed. Pretty typical night," John said taking another sip of his coffee, "well Laney and Liam anyway, Sean was sick again."
Michael narrowed his eyes at his brother, "he was?"
"Yeah, Natalie took him to the doctor this morning and they told her he had another virus and that it just had to run its course," John noticed the way his brother was looking at him, "what, do you think it's more than that?"
"No, no it's not that but, he's been sick a lot in the last few months. It's not necessarily unusual," Michael added quickly, "but, well he's my nephew and it makes me a little uneasy," Michael said pondering this information
"Yeah, me too," John said thoughtfully, wondering what his brother was thinking.
"Anyways...it was your anniversary man," Michael said, then mentally kicked himself, "wait you did know that right?"
John chuckled, "yeah, I knew that." They were silent for an awkward moment before Michael could take it anymore.
"Ok...SO?" He said somewhat loudly.
"So what? I picked up the kids and we went back to my room and that was the end of it," John said starting to get annoyed.
"John, did it ever occur to you...that this would have been the one day of the year that you would have been able to break through and get her to talk to you. So you guys could work this out?" Michael said exasperated with this brother.
"I promised not to push her Mike...and I won't. I want my wife back, my family back but, I'm not going to pressure her. I want her to want it too," John said sadly, rubbing his neck.
Michael shook his head in disbelief.
Another silent few moments passed before John mumbled, "I might have…uhm.." he cleared his throat, " I brought her a gift." He quickly took a drink to hide his embarrassment.
A slow knowing smile split across Michael's face, "u huh..."
"It was just, something, nothing really," John said nervously, taking a deep breath and leaning all the way back in the booth.
"U huh," Michael said again, still smiling like a loon.
"I had it made actually...uhm...engraved too so..." John stuttered around uncomfortably, clearing his throat he shrugged as if it were no big deal.
"Right but, no pressure-" Michael started sarcastically.
"No," John interrupted, "no pressure." John smiled sadly at his brother.
Michael shook his head and laughed.
"What? Just...if you have something to say, just say it," John wasn't in the mood for this this morning. He ran a hand over his face.
"You two have never done anything slowly, I don't understand why you've chosen now to try it," Michael said.
"What is that supposed to mean?" John asked indignantly.
"Well come on, every time you've gotten together, you've jumped in all the way, right away," Michael scoffed, "I mean, have you ever even been out on a date with her-"
"A date,"
"Yeah a date...you know, you pick her up at 6, you bring flowers, you have dinner, you bring her home and walk her to the door with a little kiss good night...you know a date,"
"I...no we've never, I don't think we've ever gone on a date like that," John thought for a moment, "we were supposed to...once but, I stood her up." John laughed a little remembering that day, it had been so long ago.
John smiled, "it was….a really long time ago...jeez and….we were supposed to meet at Rodi's for dinner. I got caught up in something and I forget what...I know I was getting ready to leave town," John said, trying to remember. He finished with a quiet, "she didn't want me to go."
"Oh, I bet that went over really well," Michael laughed knowing Natalie would have had a fit.
"No...In fact she showed up at my door," John said nodding at his brother, remembering how she stood there with the bag of burgers in her hand.
John opened the door, she stood there holding up a brown paper bag.He held the door open for her and she walked in. They both chuckled softly.
"Huh, no wonder you forgot," she said looking up at him, hurt slightly that he would.
"I'm sorry….I – I lost track of time. I hope you're not mad," he said and he really meant it.
She shook her head slightly, "so uh…does this mean you made a decision about Uncle Bo's offer?"
"Yeah, I don't think so Natalie," he smiled at her nervously.
"You should take it," she looked at him pleadingly. She didn't know why she wanted him to stay so badly.
"Yeah, why is that?" His smile grew at her nervousness, 'she was beautiful', he thought.
"I-I don't know," she mumbled not being able to voice her thoughts of 'please don't go.
"Right, that sounds like Natalie," Michael laughed.
"Yeah...we had our first kiss that night, too," John said wistfully.
"Really, and?" Michael asked curiously.
"And well, nothing, you know... the usual….I pushed her away of course. I was starting to realize that if I let myself, I could care for her. And I couldn't let that happen," John said, "then...mom showed up." John tipped his cup at his brother before he finished his coffee.
Michael crinkled his nose, "ew, mood killer."
"No. I single handedly did that but, yeah that effectively ended the conversation," John smiled at his brother.
"So you guys don't do the 'date night' thing then?" Michael wasn't sure why he wasn't surprised. They weren't that type of couple.
"The 'date night' thing?" John asked confused, looking at his brother like he had two heads.
"Yeah, you know they say that married people should go out on dates to keep them...interested in each other or something like that," Michael said, with an embarrassed shrug.
"Do you take Marcy out for 'date night'?" John asked sarcastically, even though he was genuinely curious.
"Well we've been known to go out to dinner without the kids when we can, she said she thinks it's important," Michael said with a sniff, clearly caught between making fun of it and the fact that he did enjoy the time alone with his wife.
"U huh... No, I never needed to take her out on dates to keep either of us interested. We've always been plenty...'interested' enough," John said, giving his brother a wink.
"Yeah, I didn't need to know that," Michael crinkled his nose.
John signaled the waitress for another cup of coffee, while Michael sat silently watching his brother for a moment and seemingly coming to a conclusion.
"You need to ask her out," Michael said firmly, seemingly out of the blue.
"What?" John wasn't sure he heard right.
"You need to ask her out on a date," Michael repeated.
John laughed, "right. She's already my wife."
"No really," Michael said seriously, "you need to ask her out on a date and get to know each other again. Get her to trust you again, prove to her that you're sorry, that you love her and you aren't going anywhere again. You need to pursue her. Whoo her. Fight for her man."
John scoffed and shook his head. His first thought was that that was a stupid idea but, the more he ran it over in his mind the better it sounded.
"John the most important thing is, I need to know that you would fight for me."
"You don't know that?"
For the first time in months, John felt hope about the future.