Forever and Always
You sat at your kitchen counter for what seemed like hours on end. You lost track at how many times you looked at the clock waiting for James to get home. You knew he was going to be a little late at the studio tonight, but you thought he would have called you by now. You tried calling him a few times, only to be sent to voicemail every time. The clock read 10:30pm, and you were starting to get worried. James was never like this. You called Kendall, and all he told you was that James left the studio a half hour ago.
You rested your head against your fist, looking out the window yet again, hoping you'd see the headlights of his car pull into the driveway. Another hour goes by, and you have yet to see your fiancé walk through the front door. Suddenly, your phone blares through the kitchen, making you practically jump out of your own skin. The caller ID read Carlos as you swiped your finger across your phone, answering the call.
"Carlos, what's up? Have you heard from James?" you ask him, looking out the window again.
"(Y/N), listen to me. Something's happened.." Carlos responds, his voice getting softer and somewhat weaker.
"What do you mean something's happened Carlos, what the hell is going on?!" you shout through the phone. You were angry that no one was telling you anything at this point.
"It's James.. he's hurt.." his voice cracks, trying to hold back the obvious tears he had forming in his eyes.
"Wh-where is he?" you ask, your whole body trembling now. Things like this weren't supposed to happen, not to James.
"He's at t-the hospital" Carlos says as you end the call, running to grab your keys and heading out the door.
"James, where are we going?" you asked for about the fourth time. James had insisted that the two of you go out for the day, and spend it around town going to the various little shops and whatnot.
"You'll see princess" he says, looking at you with that cheesy grin he has on his face whenever he takes you out for a surprise. You sigh, turning your head to look out the window, watching the light snowfall descend from the sky. You always loved the winter time, mostly because you got to cuddle with James around the fireplace and drink hot chocolate together.
James slows down the car, pulling into a small, but classy restaurant. So that's why he wanted be to dress up, you thought to yourself as you wait for James to walk around to your side of the car and open the door for you. The two of you walked hand in hand together inside, the host nodding at James and leading you back to a small private room. James led you in and you were in awe. Inside, there was a small round table for the two of you, lit up by numerous candles and stringy lights. You turned to your boyfriend and smiled. "This is for you babygirl, happy anniversary" he said, bringing you close to him and in for a gentle kiss.
The two of you spent your anniversary talking and laughing about random stories the two of you had to tell, along with occasional glances at each other, smiling and blushing. James cleared his throat, and stood up from his chair.
"(Y/N), I've been wanting to ask you something for a while now, and I think I finally have the write words to say" he says, his voice shaking slightly.
You bring your hands up to your face, your eyes tearing up. "James…" you respond, your voice cracking.
James gets down on one knee in front of you, and takes your hand in his.
"(Y/N), I want you. Just you, forever and always. It's always been you. We can grow old together, and and no matter how old you think you're getting or how wrinkly you think your skin is, I'll still love you. Through the good, the bad and the ugly. You're my life (y/n), and I want to spend the rest of mine with you. So I guess what I'm trying to say is.. will you marry me?" James looks up at you, a single tear streaming down his face as he waits for your response. You nodded repeatedly, bringing his face to yours and kissing him passionately as he picks you up from the chair and brings you into a hug, resting his forehead against yours.
"I love you (y/n)" he whispers, pecking your lips. You smile, wiping away the tears. "I love you too James, forever and always."
You quickly pull into the entrance of the hospital, parking your car, and practically sprinting through the doors to the front doors.
"E-Excuse me miss, I'm lo-looking for James Maslow, h-he's supposed to be here" you say out of breath and through choked sobs coming from your throat.
The nurse immediately looks up at you, with a face that no one wants to see. Your heart sinks, as the tears stream down your face once more.
"Come with me sweetie, he's been asking for you for the past hour" she says, trying to stay calm. But you obviously knew something was terribly wrong. The nurse led you down what felt like a million hallways, and tried to explain to you what happened but you were barely registering anything at this point. What you heard was that he was hit head by a drunk driver on his way home; the other driver made it out without a scratch.
The nurse finally stops in front of the room James is in.
"Sweetie, you have to promise me you're going to stay strong for him, he needs you right now" the nurse explains to you, resting her hand on your shoulder. You nod weakly, as she opens the door and leads you in.
When you open the door, you let out a sob forming in your throat as you see the sight of your fiancé lying in the hospital bed. His face was a dark shade of purple, some spots even black. He had a cast on one arm and leg, and the other leg was covered in blood-stained bandages. He could barely keep his eyes open, both of them beyond swollen. His breathing wasn't normal; he had to be hooked up to a respirator to even get one breath out.
James looks up at you with the weakest smile, and tries to hold his hand out to you. You walk further in the room, realizing that Carlos, Kendall and Logan were all there too. They look at you with weak smiles and puffy eyes – they had been crying as well. You make your way over to James's bedside, taking his hand in yours; making sure you don't squeeze it too tight.
"Hey babygirl, how's it going?" James asks you quietly, making it known it was hard for him to talk. You try to smile for him; you knew he loved seeing it all the time. But right now, all you could get out of yourself was a half-smile, and more tears.
"Shh, hey (y/n), don't cry please. Everything's going to be alright princess" he says, rubbing his thumb softly against the back of your hand.
"James… look at you…" you say, rubbing his arm and pushes his hair out of his face. You noticed a giant gash that had been stitched up recently on his forehead, and you let out another sob.
"J-James, I can't lose y-you… I c-can't" you stutter, trying to calm yourself down.
"Beautiful, you're not going to lose me. I'm always going to be here. I'm going to be here for when we have our beautiful children and watch them run around on the front lawn of our hillside home I'm going to buy you as soon as I'm out of this thing. Whether we're rich or poor, I'm here. Remember? Through the good, the bad, and the ugly. We're going to grow old together, and we'll still love each other through. Forever and always" he says, his breathing coming out too raspy for your liking.
You hold his hand and continue to cry, as he pulls his hand away and rubs your back gently. You suddenly get an idea, and jump up from your chair. "James , I'll be right back" you say, running out of the room and to the nurse who helped you earlier. You tell her to go get the Chaplin from upstairs and have him come to James's room. You look around and happen to see an older couple looking at you from the waiting room. They ask you what's going on, and you explain the situation with James to them. You ask if you could borrow a ring from each of them, and they happily agree. You thank them about a thousand times before running back to James's room.
You walk in, out of breath again, and James looks at you with a confused look.
"Baby, what's going on? Why is the chaplin here? And what's with the rings?" he asks, grabbing the remote for his bed, raising himself up to look at you.
You walk back over to him, taking his hand and kissing him gently. "We're getting married today" you look at him and say, tears springing in your eyes and you see his eyes light up again.
You were sitting down next to James as the Chaplin came in and read off some verses. Carlos, Kendall and Logan were still there, sitting on the opposite side of James as well. You and James never took your eyes off of each other, hand in hand, soft tears streaming down the both of your faces.
You brought James in for a soft, passionate kiss, and everyone was laughing and crying, tears falling to the floor.
You rest your forehead against his, and couldn't help but smile.
"James, I want you forever and always. Through the good, the bad and the ugly. We're going to grow old together, and we'll always remember that through the happy, sad or better, that we'll still love each other – forever and always" you say, letting the tears fall once more.
You notice the beeps on James's heart monitor were starting to become slower. You held his hand tighter as he weakly looked over at you. His voice was raspier and almost too low.
"(Y/N), I love you, forever and always. Please just remember, that even if I'm not there, I'll always love you, forever and always…" he says, looking at you one last time before the heart monitor goes flat.
He's gone. You kissed his forehead as you walked away and into Carlos's embrace, and you finally let out the sobs and tears you've been holding in all day.
The nurse walks in and takes out James's sheet and writes:
James Maslow
July 21, 2012
TOD: 12:36 AM
You pull up into the cemetery driveway, putting the car in park. You get out of the car, and open up the side door.
"Mommy, where are we?" your son, James Jr., asks you as you take his hand and continue walking.
"We're going to visit your daddy" you say, stopping in front of the stone that reads James's name. "We're here" you say, looking down at your son.
He walks up to the stone, and pats it. "Hey daddy, it's me. James. Mommy told me I was named after you, because you were an amazing person. I never got to meet you, but I think it's super awesome we have the same name. Well Daddy, I'll see you soon. I love you!"
Tears sprung in your eyes as you listened to your son talk to James. He didn't know you were pregnant before he passed, but this was your way of a surprise gift. It was his birthday after all. You missed him terribly, but like he said:
He was with you forever and always.