How Kyle Broflovski Got Detention the First:
Kenny arrived into class with a relatively calm Kyle beside him. But he wasn't deceived by the boy's current attitude, he knew it was only a matter of time before- "Kenny, get the fuck outta my seat!" Kyle demanded.
"But, Kyle! It's so comfy and warm!" Kenny said with a grin.
"Out. Of. The. Chair." Kyle demanded, accenting each word with a short pause after.
Oh, he's serious, Kenny thought to himself. Better hold back today with the aggravating. "Why don't you sit on my lap? Then we'll both have the seat!" he said, cursing his conscience immediately after. Why even think it if it'll only make me feel bad after I blatantly ignore my thoughts?
"Okay," Kyle agreed, his face now smiling.
Kenny didn't trust it though, he knew better, he was a smart boy, an extremely intelligen- "Ouch! Kyyyllee! Why?" he asked, holding just stomped-on foot in his hands. With false tears, he looked into Kyle's still innocent-reeking eyes.
Kyle sighed before pulling the blond up by his arm. "Why thank you, kind gentleman, my seat is finally mine again!"
Kenny pouted as he watched his friend sit and adjust himself in his seat. Damn, I really thought that'd work… he thought to himself, sitting in his own seat.
"That wouldn't have worked on a Raisin's girl it was so terrible." Kyle replied nonchalantly.
"I'm not even safe in my head from you!" Kenny accused, holding the sides of his head protectively.
Kyle raised an eyebrow, "You do realize that you say what you're thinking 90% of the time. I'm surprised you haven't noticed yet."
Kenny's eyes widened, He's lying, he can hear my thoughts, but he doesn't want me to know he's psychic!
Kyle sighed once more, "You did it again, Kenny." he chided, looking through his math homework for today with an uninterested expression.
Did what?
"Speak your mind," Kyle answered, not even looking toward the panicking boy who kept mumbling about tin foil hats being Kyle-proof. The teacher then began the lecture, taking up homework and giving back last week's graded versions. He practically threw them at each student, clearly disliking the class.
The paper fluttered to his desk with a false happy pretense. Eyeing the grade, Kenny looked behind himself at his friend, Kyle. "Dude, what does an 'F' even mean anyway, like in reality? That I Fucked-up?"
Kyle sighed, "It means Failure, Kenny." he corrected.
"So," Kenny began with a slight pause as he looked at his grade again, "I fucked -up?"
Kyle smiled, "Basically."
Kenny slammed his head on the desk, barely registering the pain from the action. "Dammit…" he cursed.
Kyle watched the blond in front of him with a concerned frown on his face. The teacher paced the room whilst lecturing once more, ignoring Kenny's blatant disregard for his words as always. The boy constantly gave up during math class, it wasn't even a surprise anymore by this point. Kyle, on the other hand, couldn't ignore his friend, determination taking over his features. He would make Kenny understand this if it took the rest of the year. He promised himself he would.
As he watched, he saw the blond's features slowly morph from frustrated to calm, and from confused to uncaring. The muscles relaxed, and soon enough, the boy fell into a deep sleep. Kyle smiled at the site.
"Mr. Broflovski! Since you seem content to ignore my lecture, why don't you explain how to solve an equation using only variables?" the professor asked in a condescending tone.
Kyle frowned at the man, surely he realized how stupid this would make him look? He was the smartest student in this period, second smartest in the subject to Wendy Testaburger. He raised an eyebrow before nodding and standing from his seat.
As he walked beside Kenny, he "accidentally" shoved the boy from the desk. "…the fuck?" the other asked, his brain clearly too tired to register the push yet even as he hit the floor.
"Mr. Broflovski! Did you just push that boy from his seat?"
Kyle gave his best innocent look while the rest of the class watched interestedly. It wasn't everyday Kyle Broflovski got called out, in fact it wasn't ever.
"I'm sorry, sir, I stumbled and I just pushed him accidentally in an attempt to steady myself!" he proclaimed with a sad voice.
"Just do what I asked, young man, before I give you a detention for disrupting class!"
Kyle continued his journey, forcing himself not to roll his eyes at his teacher for such a remark. He's the one who called me out, technically he's disrupting class. I was just sitting there, the bastard… he thought to himself, placing a deceiving smile on his face. "Very well, sir." Game on.
He strolled by the man, plucking the piece of chalk from the man's hand along the way. Ignoring the indignant retort from his action, he took the board's eraser from its holder and erased the entire board. Some students got ruffled from this, clearly having not have taken their notes yet. Ignoring it, he faced the class.
"Today's lesson is being overcomplicated by our dear pedantic teacher." he began. "Clearly, his teaching isn't helping any so he decided to ask my help. The real lesson is quite simple. We've been working on this for over a month now and I have to say, it's been a rather horrible month at that. To solve these types of problems, you just have to remember this one equation as an example. I'm sure everyone can." he paused, meeting Kenny's confused eyes with his own. He wanted to explain the lesson, the real lesson, but with Kenny's constant perversions, he couldn't help but want to solve it a different way.
Smirking, he wrote out the first equation: let f(a)= n to the square root of e^x "This is a new way equation professor has yet to show, and possibly the easiest to remember," he explained. He eyed his teacher to make sure he wouldn't be interrupted, luckily the man hadn't caught on yet. Too angry he supposed by the red face of the man. "To get the answer, you need to divide, setting both sides equal, remember to include getting the function of a number." he lectured, setting both sides equal and placing the correct variables in place. He took his chalk, making another equation below that.
As he went on, he could see everyone getting bored, Kenny watching with a look of impatience. He went on anyway, just in case the teacher would stop him before the end. He was working on borrowed time. He quickly added the next four lines, drawing an arrow to what went where. The equation looked almost backwards now. He paused, thinking of the next line of equation. "The integral of "e" to the "x" is what?" he asked the class, leaving only the right side of the equation left. He left the question open to everyone, but no one said a word. Some scribbled down the notes, while others blatantly texted on their phones. He looked at the blond, noticing he had Kenny's direct attention.
He smiled, taking the chalk and making the last equation, explaining as he went, what each part meant. "Then we finally end with the integral of e to the X is equal to the function of u to the nth number. " he stated proudly. Written as: Se^x = f(u)^n
He let it sit for a moment on their brains while he put the chalk down and dusted himself off. He saw the blond give him a look of contemplation at the brief ending, blue eyes re-reading the problem slowly for an explanation. Surprisingly, or unsurprisingly so, Kenny was the first to get it, his eyes widening in shock before a laugh found its way out.
Kyle let himself walk back to his seat, not waiting for the teacher to give the direction. He wasn't about to take orders from someone who didn't understand the problem-solving behind the equation, much less the unreal equation itself, Kenny's eyes followed him the entire way to his seat. He smirked at the laughing blond, his agitation with the teacher at its highest, but the amusing situation making up for it. He sat down.
Then, "Mr. Broflovski!" Mr. Burkins stated angrily. "That is not a real equation!"
"No, you never said to solve a real equation." Kyle pointed out to the man.
"I told you to solve a problem on the board!" the teacher continued.
"Exactly, one with variables only." he replied, getting his stuff ready for the bell.
The man didn't look amused in the least. "Detention, Broflovski, for your smart mouthing."
Kyle rolled his eyes, already knowing it was bound to happen after writing the equation in the first place. Didn't look like Mr. Burkins even knew what the equation really meant by his reaction. He smiled, content when the rest of the class looked up to the board after the display, wanting to see what the problem was. More students laughed, some whispering explanations to others, as others jotted down the problem before the teacher could erase it from the board.
The bell rang, students filing out of the classroom post-haste. He watched Mr. Burkins look over the equation, his mind picking up on what was written by the face he made.
"So," Kenny began, picking up his bag and catching up to an exiting-Kyle. "Sex is fun, isn't it? Didn't think you'd ever do something like that. You have balls after all!"
Kyle hit the boy in the side of the head as they walked, causing him to stumble. Kenny held his head and threw him a pouting look to which he sighed. "Yeah, it's pretty fun," he replied, "but I only did it so I wouldn't have to sit through yet another month of 'they aren't numbers' complaints…" he said. And a little bit of fun against the asshole of a teacher.
"Wait, I thought you were a Virgin with a capital 'V?'" Kenny proclaimed, gaping at the redhead.
Kyle just smiled knowingly and walked to their next class, Kenny standing there for a moment in thought before running to catch up, yelling about safe sex along the way, earning a few confused looks.
The End.
Author's Note: I have nothing more to add unless you guys want more, I will be making a part two though... I might make a story starting with this and going to angst then better and etc etc. My usual ;) (And yeah, it was a really short class from this perspective but Kyle can ramble when doing equations in my mind... XD)
Review please! :)
~Dedicated to My Dear Occulta, may the smex always be with her~