The earliest moment that Chika could remember was a birthday party. It was all somewhat of a blur. She could remember the orange streamers accenting the small sign on the wall with her name on it. A vanilla cake with white frosting that tasted so sweet and a barrage of photo sessions from the adults that she didn't want to be a part of. It all blended together in a hazy mass. Memories that she could barely remember, and only if she focused.
Her only vivid memory from that day was the time she got to spend alone with Kanan.
"Happy birthday, Chika!" Kanan wrapped her arms around Chika and tackled her onto the bed as soon as they entered Chika's room.
Chika only giggled, wrapping her small arms around Kanan and taking her down as well. They landed with a small bounce, laughing the whole way down.
"Today was the best day ever," Chika said, wriggling herself from Kanan's grasp. "I got to eat a whole bunch of cake, and I didn't even get in trouble or anything. And I got like a million presents."
"That's because it's your birthday." Kanan rolled to the edge of the bed, sitting up and letting her feet dangle off the side. "Everybody gets cake and presents on their birthday. Those are the rules." She finished with a confident smile.
"Wow, really?" Chika asked. Kanan nodded her head, a bit too fast. "That's so cool, and you're so smart, Kanan."
"It's because I'm in first grade now. That means I get to learn all these really important things."
Chika's rolled up next to Kanan, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. "Does that mean I'll get to learn stuff like that when I'm older like you?"
"Mhmm." Kanan nodded again.
"I can't wait!" Chika let out a loud cheer.
There was a second of pause. Chika smiling to herself and leaning up against Kanan, mind filled with all sorts of dreams and hopes for the future. It was her birthday now, but she couldn't wait to catch up to Kanan. Why couldn't they be the same age anyway?
"Hey, Chika." Kanan pulled Chika's attention as she slid off the bed and stood up, hand buried in her pocket and a suspicious grin on her face. "Guess what I've got."
Chika bounced up and down. "What, what?"
Kanan pulled out a small box wrapped crudely in wrapping paper, the edges already tearing and the bow sloppily tied. Chika's eyes lit up as soon as she pulled it out. "It's the present I got for you. I even picked it out myself."
"What is it?" Chika took the gift out of Kanan's hands, wide eyes and an eager smile on her face.
"You have to open it first. If I tell you it'll ruin the surprise."
"Oh."
Chika started at a corner, tearing the paper off in one quick pull and tossing it off to the side. The box wasn't anything special, small and with nothing indicating where it was from. Not wasting any time, she lifted off the top.
"What is it?" Chika pulled out a small yellow ribbon of cloth. She held it in front of her face, inspecting it. "It's a string."
"It's not a string." Kanan snatched the gift from Chika. "It's a ribbon."
Chika tilted her head. "A ribbon?"
"Yeah, like the ones on all the presents you got today." Kanan shook the gift in front of Chika's face. "Can't you tell?"
"But, ribbons are supposed to be pretty shapes." Chika tilted her head. "This is just a string."
"That's because you have to tie it like that."
Chika blinked. "But I don't know how to do that. It sounds really really hard."
"I'll show you."
Chika's smile came back. "You know how to?"
"My mom showed me how to do it." Kanan took a step closer, holding the ribbon up to Chika's hair.
"You're so amazing, Kanan."
Kanan blushed under the praise. She grabbed a few strands of Chika's hair from the side of her face. "Mom also showed something else when I got it."
"Is it something cool?"
"Let me show you. We can even use the ribbon I got for you." Kanan sat down on the bed, Chika's hair still held in her hands. "You'll look super cute after I finish, so sit still."
Chika did as instructed, smiling to herself as Kanan ran fingers through her hair. The occasional tug of her head was the only thing Chika felt for the minutes Kanan worked. Her quick glances to the side would only result in Kanan tugging on her hair, so she sat and waited, rubbing her hands together, and swinging her feet back and forth.
"Just a little bit more," Kanan said, her tongue stuck out and focus solely on Chika's hair and the ribbon.
"What are you doing?" Chika asked after a particularly rough tug. "I want to see," she whined.
"I'm almost finished."
Chika slumped her shoulders and sighed, her instinct to put her head down was only stopped by the fact Kanan was still toiling away at her hair. All she wanted to do was play.
"I'm all done." Kanan released Chika's hair and stood up. She leaned in close to inspect her own handiwork "You look so cute. I didn't know if I could do it like my mom did."
"Let me see! Let me see!"
Kanan took Chika's hand, dragging her over to the tall mirror leaning against the wall of Chika's room. Kanan puffed out her chest. "Did I do a good job?"
Chika looked herself up and down in the mirror. The only change the small braid now resting to the side of her face. It was loose and messily done, hairs sticking out down the new braid. The bottom was tied off and accented with the small yellow ribbon.
Her face lit up, and she spun around to face Kanan. "It looks so cute, Kanan. I didn't know you knew how to do something like this."
"Really?" Kanan's confidence melted, blush back in full force.
Chika wrapped her arms around Kanan's waist, pulling into a tight hug. "I love it. Can you show me how to do it myself? I wanna wear it like this every day now."
"Of course I can. I am in first grade now." Kanan's bravado came back as she returned Chika's hug.
Chika smiled to herself and giggled. "I can't wait."
Chika ran up to the Matsuura household as she always did. A vivid smile on her face, and a cheery spring in her step. The sun was bright and shining as if telling her that today would be a wonderful day. It was going to be a day with Kanan after all, those were always the best days.
She paused a few steps shy of the front door. Straightening out her skirt and tucking her braid behind her ear, she reached out, knocked, and waited.
Seconds passed. Chika couldn't hear the usual feet thumping against the ground and loud shouts in the house. A telltale sign that Kanan was well on her way. But she would wait still. It was a sunny Sunday afternoon, what better time to spend with dear friends.
Chika tapped her foot against the ground and frowned as minutes passed. Maybe they hadn't heard her. She reached back up and knocked at the door again, this time with more force than before.
With a loud click, the door unlocked and swung open. Chika bounced up and down as the door creaked open.
"Oh, it's the littlest Takami. What are you doing here today?"
Kanan's mother had answered the door. It was strange to Chika, Kanan was always so eager to rush to the door and answer it. She wasn't sure she could think of a time when it hadn't gone that way. Maybe only when Kanan wasn't able to play, but that was almost always when she was with her father learning things for their diving shop. Today was Sunday. Kanan was always able to come out and play on Sundays.
"Hi Kanan's mom," Chika answered, trying to get a peek behind her into the house. "Can Kanan come out and play today."
"First, what have I told you about talking to your elders?"
"Oh, sorry." Chika rubbed the back of her head, small hint of red on her cheeks. "Mrs. Matsuura, can Kanan please come out and play with me today?"
"That's much better." Kanan's mother reached down, ruffling Chika's hair and getting a small giggle. "You know, I'm sorry, Chika. Kanan isn't going to be home at all today."
Chika's smile was quick to drop. "Why not? It's Sunday today, and she always plays with me on Sundays."
Kanan's mother bent down, eyes level with Chika. "So Kanan didn't tell you before?"
"Tell me what?" Chika brought her sleeve up to her eyes, wiping away early forming tears. She felt like a big baby, crying over not being able to see a friend, but this was Kanan, and it was Sunday. They always played together on days like these.
"Well, you see Chika." The women's eyes softened, fingers still running through Chika's hair. "Kanan went out today with some of her friends from school."
"Who are they?" Chika looked down as she asked, meeting her eyes would only make the tears come easier. She didn't want that, she had to be a big girl now. Kanan said so herself.
"They're girls from her class, their names are Dia and Mari." Kanan's mother saw the Chika's expression continue to darken. "But I'm sure that she'll be happy to play with you another day, and Mari and Dia are nice girls. Maybe someday you can all be friends together?"
Chika sniffled, trying to choke back tears, but failing . "I want to see Kanan."
Another reassuring ruffle of Chika's hair. "I know you do. She's always been your friend, right?"
Chika nodded, wiping her face with her arm.
"I'll make sure that you two can play together some other time this week. Is that alright, Chika?"
Another slow and solemn nod was the answer, Chika found it hard to speak up.
"I know that it can be hard when your friends make other friends, but you know that Kanan wouldn't forget about you or anything like that."
"I know. Kanan is nice to me and we'll always be friends."
"That's right. You two will always be together, no matter what else happens." Kanan's mother stood up, still smiling down to Chika. "Do you want to come inside and wait for her to get back? She won't be back til late, but you still might be able to see her."
Chika shook her head no. "My mom wanted me to be home for dinner."
"Then you should start heading home. I'm sorry you couldn't play with Kanan today."
"It's fine." Chika tried forcing herself to smile, one that nobody would buy into from such a little kid. "My sisters said that I'm supposed to be a big girl now. I don't need to play with Kanan every day."
A lopsided smile was her answer. "Make sure you're safe going home, and tell your mother I said hi."
"Okay."
When the door closed, Chika took another deep breath, but it did no good in holding any tears back. She took her short sleeve and wiped away at her face, trying her hardest to stop, but it wasn't much use.
The walk back wasn't long, but as Chika's brain tried to process everything, it made it seem longer than it should.
They were supposed to be best friends, right? Why would Kanan go off and make new friends that weren't her? It didn't make any sense, but maybe she wasn't mature enough to understand. She was still younger, after all, maybe that was what Kanan was looking for, friends as mature and amazing as she was. She was plain old Chika after all, and only in the first grade. How could she compete with the kids in Kanan's class?
When she passed the park they always played at, Chika got her first look at the two girls that were taking Kanan's time. She watched as they played like any kids would, and she felt something stir inside. It was something new, but as she watched Kanan play with two girls that weren't her, it only continued to get worse.
As she watched from a distance, not getting caught by any of them, she felt like crying again. Before any of those tears would fall, she ran off.
How could she compete with those two? A foreigner with pretty blonde hair, and the other girl a princess-like beauty. Kanan seemed to smile just as wide and bright as when it was the two of them. Maybe Kanan was getting taken away from her. It was a terrifying thought for her young brain to think, and that sharp and annoying pain in her stomach every time she saw them laugh only got worse.
She didn't know what it was, but it was scary and upsetting. It was possible Kanan wouldn't be all hers forever.
It was only supposed to be a simple study session in her last year of elementary school when Chika came face to face with a scary new feeling.
"So, what do you need the most help with?" Kanan asked, sitting next to Chika at the table in the center of the girl's room. "When can start with your worst subjects and go from there."
Chika looked over the different textbooks and guides spread out across the table. "Uhm, I'm not sure which is my worst subject."
Kanan sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "Are you that bad at all them? When You told me that you needed help, I didn't think she meant it would be this bad."
"I am not bad at all of them, and what has You been telling you about me?" Chika asked, Kanan only rolled her eyes. "Fine, I guess if I had to pick it would be math."
"Alright then, let's start there." Kanan reached across the table for the textbook and assorted worksheets.
"Do we have to?"
"You're the one who might fail, not me," Kanan shot back, Chika looked away. "So let's focus on this for now."
"Fine," Chika grumbled, flipping open the book.
Kanan pointed to a specific section. "Let's start here, and we can find out what you need the most help with."
Chika let out a long sigh. Knowing that fighting Kanan on this would only lead to more and more work, she complied.
As the night progressed, Chika felt herself getting sucked into a haze of questions and answers. She filled out worksheet after worksheet and passed them off to Kanan for approval. Good jobs were given with smiles, praise, and even the much-loved head pats, but failures were met with stern lectures and glares that Chika hated. Kanan could be strict when she needed to be, but Chika always liked her smile the best.
The praise was enough to spur her on. Every time she saw Kanan's smile coupled with the small bouts of affection, Chika could feel herself trying even harder to earn that praise. It was strange, Kanan was always smiling and laughing with her, but now it felt different. Chika would laugh and smile back, but when Kanan smiled and praised her, Chika felt flutters in her stomach and heat rush to her face.
"You aren't as bad as this as I thought you were going to be," Kanan said, inspecting the last of the finished problems of a particularly hard worksheet.
Chika frowned, flipping her textbook closed. "Hey, that's mean."
"I know. I was kidding." Kanan reached over, ruffling Chika's hair. "You can do well when you actually put your mind to it."
Chika's mouth went dry, and palms started to sweat. When did Kanan start to have such an effect on her? Where friends supposed to make your heart flutter in a way that seemed like love? Love. The feeling was new to Chika, but it being Kanan didn't feel strange.
Chika shook her head, brushing Kanan's hand to the side. "You always treat me like a little kid. I'm going to be in middle school soon, you know?"
"But you aren't there yet." Kanan pulled her hand away. "And if your grades keep being this bad, you won't even make it."
Chika crossed her arms with a pout. "I'll be fine. Plus, I've got you and You to help me with stuff when I need it."
"I guess that's true. I'll always be here to help you out when you need it."
Chika didn't answer, focusing instead on cleaning off the table and putting away all the assorted study materials. Kanan's words were sweet, they weren't things that Chika was able to hear all too often. She knew that Kanan would always be around, hearing it ever once in a while was a nice bit of reassurance. Something she would store away to tell herself whenever those dumb feelings of jealousy reared their head.
"I think it's time for me to head home." Kanan filled her backpack with the last of her own materials.
"Already?" Chika whined. "I thought you were going to stay over for dinner tonight."
"Well, I was going to." Kanan stood up, eyes wandering around the room and voice low. A hand rubbed at her neck. "I promised Dia and Mari that we would spend the night together, and I don't want to break that promise with them."
Chika didn't stand, feelings that she had long since known as jealousy had come back. She was much better at filing it away now. She didn't feel the need to cry and hide anymore because Kanan made a few friends that weren't her, but that didn't mean she liked it, and now she was being pushed to the side.
"Don't look so sad." Kanan reached down, pinching Chika's cheeks and smiling. "Next weekend you and I can have a sleepover to make up for it."
"Stop it." Chika knocked Kanan's hands away, getting a giggle from her. "You promise we'll have a sleepover."
"I promise."
Chika held up her pinky. "Do you really promise?"
"Of course I do." Kanan interlocked her own pinky with Chika's, she still smiled. "Make sure you do good on that test, or else your parents won't let me stay over."
"I will."
Kanan left with a cheerful goodbye, sliding the door closed behind her.
Chika sat alone, not wanting to move. Her thoughts preoccupied with the irritating feeling that she had long ago learned to be jealousy. It wasn't supposed to be there, Chika trusted Kanan more than anyone else in the whole world, and that meant knowing Kanan would never leave her behind.
Her mind was able to focus instead on that new flutter in her chest. That strange sensation that she believed to be love. Her young heart getting its first taste of that sweet feeling, and everything else that came with it. The giddiness when seeing Kanan each day and the occasional bouts of nerves were all symptoms of something that Chika had convinced herself to be love.
Scary and wonderful all at the same time. She was happy that it was Kanan, and not anyone else.
Chika wasn't surprised when You was the first person to notice. It was a simple walk home in their second year of middle school when You mentions it.
"What's up with you and Kanan?" You asked, walking side by side with Chika.
"What do you mean?" Chika answered, a small part of her knowing what You meant. She was never all that good at hiding things from her.
"I guess I asked the wrong question. I meant, what do you think about Kanan?" You looked to her side, still walking, eyes inspecting.
"I think she's a good friend that I've known forever."
"Is that all." You smirked, and Chika could already tell that she knew. "Because I think you might feel something else. Something like a crush."
Chika cocked her head to the side. "If you already knew what it is, why are you asking me?"
"Sorry. Sorry," You placated, getting Chika to bring her attention back. "It was a little guess, and I wanted to know if it was true."
"Well, it is," Chika admitted far easier than she ever expected. "I like Kanan that way. Do you have a problem with that?" She narrowed her eyes.
"Of course I don't. I actually think it's nice that you love her."
"Really?" Chika asked, not expecting to get You's full support.
"I support you one hundred percent." You gave a salute. "I mean, I get it. Kanan is beautiful and amazing. Plus, she's always been with you since you were little."
"Yeah, she is." Chika blushed, rubbing her neck.
"So when did it start?"
Chika expected some discomfort if anyone else had ever found out, but You's undivided support made it far less scary than she could have imagined.
"I think I've always liked her at least a little bit. Even when we were really little she was always cool," Chika said. "But it wasn't until the last year of elementary school that I realized that I had a crush on her. It was dumb, I remember thinking about it when she was helping me study for some test or something, and then I knew I loved her."
"That's so adorable!" You shouted, Chika blushed further. "So you're like the classic childhood friends who fall in love?"
"I guess, but it's not like Kanan likes me back or anything." Chika's voice had an audible tremble to it, she hadn't meant to bring any of this up. "I'm sure if she likes anyone it would Dia or Mari. Someone more mature like she is. I don't know if I could ever compete with anyone like that."
You nudged Chika's side. "Don't say things like that. I know how great you can be, and I bet Kanan knows, too. So don't think about stuff like that. You should be happy that the person you like is someone as great as Kanan is."
"Thanks, You." Chika smiled, "and Kanan is the best, isn't she?"
"She is great," You said, laughing. "What else do you like about her. If you really do lover her, I bet you've got a bunch of things."
The rest of the walk was filled with wide-eyed excitement and cheery gushing as Chika listed everything. From how she loved the way Kanan smiled and laughed, to how she always tried so hard for her encouragement and friendship. You hung on every word, adding her own small anecdotes and personal stories as they walked.
Chika hadn't expected such open acceptance. When they reached You's bus stop, Chika parted a smile and odd sense of pride in her own love. No longer worried about the love she knew wasn't going anywhere. Instead, she embraced it with a smile and some help from You's encouragement.
Starting high school was supposed to be something Chika would look forward to. She would be in the same school as Kanan again. It was supposed to be such a joyful event that she would use to get closer to the girl she'd always pined for.
What she hadn't expected was Kanan's cold shoulder.
Something had happened, Chika couldn't find out what. From the very first day, when her invitation to each lunch together was spurned, Chika knew that things with Kanan were changing.
Kanan wasn't angry, or at least if she was Chika couldn't feel any of it. Instead, all she felt was apathy and annoyance. They would still see each other, sometimes even sharing a few quick words on a short walk home, but it was never the warmth and care that Chika had loved since they were kids. The disinterest in Kanan's voice anytime they talked was heartbreaking, something Chika had no idea how to deal with.
She tried everything she could think of. Inviting Kanan over for sleepovers and study sessions like when they were little, or offering to spend time at the beach together, but every time it was a shake of the head and a "sorry Chika." Over time, it started feeling more and more real. where had the joy and friendship from their younger days gone?
Each time she could find it in herself to ask, Chika got the same answer.
"Don't worry about it, Chika. It's not your problem."
Maybe Kanan was right, it wasn't Chika's problem. If Kanan didn't want to open up, did she have any right to force it? Kanan was her own person and if she didn't want to tell her, Chika would have to move on and understand that. It was the rational thing to do, after all, support from a distance, and maybe Kanan would open up in her own time.
But that wasn't how Chika did things. They were childhood friends, they'd known each other since before either of them could remember. Didn't that count for something? Had she fallen that far out of Kanan's life? They were childlike thoughts that Chika wanted to believe she had gotten over, but when the person you've loved for years tells you not to worry, it hurt.
Chika hated having the doubts and anger, but she didn't know how else to feel. The closest person she had ever known was pushing her away, and it wasn't her imagination. You felt the same distance in their relationship.
As it continued throughout the year, Chika could feel it's toll. Every time Kanan brushed her to the side, and every time she heard that same phrase. "It's not your problem." Chika could feel that warmth and love that she held so close dim ever so slightly.
Chika loved school idols, and starting the club was something Chika was more proud of than anything else.
She had something to get engrossed in and give her all toward. Something to do with You after so many years of pushing her invites away. She was able to bring people together in a way that she felt would allow them to shine their brightest. From Riko's beautiful compositions, You's wonderful costumes, and the first-years enthusiasm and happiness, Chika felt like she had something that she could be apart of. Something she loved more than anything else.
Almost anything else.
Chika expected it, but Kanan's initial rejections still hurt. They were only on simple speaking terms like before, and the ache was still as ever-present as it was throughout the last year. The quick and decisive rejections were always a blow that Chika could feel chipping away at those feelings she always thought would hold strong.
Engrossing herself in all that it meant to be a school idol helped dull the pain, even replacing it with new joy and happiness. She had never been able to throw herself into something with such vigor and energy. It was new and exciting, enough so that she could block out that nagging in her chest each time Kanan brushed her off.
She was ready to give up on Kanan before she learned about what happened with the third-years. Watching their petty fights, and hearing their whole story from Dia helped Chika realize that it wasn't her. Despite the ensuing drama and reconciliation of the friendship that she was always jealous of, Chika felt things could go back to something resembling what she once had with Kanan.
And she was right. Kanan joined. It was such a relief, and she could feel things going back to something like what they once had. The smile Chika loved was back, and the inviting warmth from Kanan was back as though it never left.
Chika loved that things were normal again, loved that Kanan was back, but she knew it wasn't because of her. It was something she thought she pushed down years ago. That dumb jealousy and frustration came back because it wasn't her that brought Kanan back. It took Dia and Mari to bring back the Kanan she loved. Not her.
The realization was frustrating, and that love Chika cherished over all else was something of an afterthought. She was sure she wasn't the closest to Kanan now. What were once the odd thought brought on by jealousy was now all but proven in her head.
Chika was surprised when Kanan pulled her aside after a rather routine practice. Things had started to get back to some sense of normalcy for their friendship, and Chika was grateful for every minute of it. Sure, it may not have been the same bond they had growing up, but they were close again, and Chika was sure to cherish each moment of it. Even if it wasn't what wanted from the beginning.
"What is it, Kanan?" Chika asked as Kanan tugged at her arm, pulling her off to the side as the rest of the group left for home. The roof cleared out of everyone except them.
"We need to talk about something, and I don't want anyone else around." Kanan stopped pulling, turning to face Chika. No smile or cheer, a serious line was all that crossed her lips.
Chika sobered up to the seriousness, afraid of what any of it might mean. "Well, it's just us now. Is everything okay? Did something happen?"
"I've been meaning to talk have a talk with you since I joined the group." Kanan's words were slow and deliberate. "I'm not sure where I should start, though."
It was rare seeing such a solemn expression from Kanan since she joined Aqours. Chika did not like it.
"Did I do something wrong?" Chika asked. "Because if I did you can tell me. Some of the new dance steps we've been learning are pretty hard, but I'll try my best to make sure I get them right so I don't slow everyone else down."
"It's not anything like that. You haven't done anything wrong, and you're doing fine with all the idol stuff." Kanan sighed, running her fingers through her hair, and biting her lower lip.
Chika stayed quiet, watching Kanan fidget under her stare. She wanted nothing more than to be the one to help Kanan, it was her chance, and she wanted to make sure she took it.
Kanan released another sigh, her eyes looking away from Chika's. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry, Chika."
"Sorry?" Chika tilted her head, trying to meet Kanan's eyes. "What are you sorry for?"
"For everything, I guess." Kanan looked back at Chika and met with a curious stare with an apologetic one of her own. "For how I treated you while everything was happening with Dia and Mari. I took out a bunch of my frustration and sadness on you, and I know that it hurt you, don't try and tell me it didn't. We were always so close, and I always loved that we were best friends. Then I went and ruined it. I never even thought about how you might feel if I stopped spending time with you. I'm so sorry for everything that's happened over the last year."
It was rare to see Kanan cry, Chika could count the occasions on one hand. As she watched Kanan bow, and as the stray tears streaked down her cheeks, Chika knew it was nothing but honesty. Feelings that she thought had long since been buried and forgotten resurfaced with a single flutter of her heart.
"I was never that mad at you," Chika said.
"Don't lie to me, Chika." Kanan stood up straight. "I know that it must have hurt when I started ignoring you like that."
"Well, yeah it did. I hated that you were ignoring me," Chika answered. "But, I thought that we weren't as close of friends as we used to be. I thought you might have moved on from being friends like we used to, and that you'd rather spend time with your newer friends."
"I never thought of anyone as a better friend than you, I promise." Kanan pleaded with her eyes wide.
"You had a really bad way of showing it. I tried hard at being your friend again, and all you did was ignore me." The bitterness in her words surprised even Chika herself. Some residual decay of her feelings being spat out.
"I know I messed up, and not just with you and You. I couldn't find a way to fix things with Dia and Mari either." Kanan licked her lips and grabbed at her skirt. "I was being dumb."
"You were acting like a jerk." Chika wanted to revel in the catharsis a bit longer. Even as Kanan seemed to grow unsure.
"I was, and I want you to know that won't happen again. I know that we're back to being friends, but it isn't like it used to be. I miss how close we were." Kanan was met with a slight nod. "I want to fix it, and be close like that again. I know it might not be easy to believe me after everything, but I want to be your best friend again, or at least close to it."
Chika could see the regret on Kanan's face clear as day, and she wanted it all back as well. To have that warmth and happiness back. To have the girl she loved bringing her happiness again instead of anguish. The feelings were still there, hiding away, waiting for Kanan to come back, and now was the chance. It may not be a confession, but being best friends was better than whatever strange relationship they had now.
"I want it, too." Chika stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Kanan's waist and tugging in close.
Kanan was quick to put her arms around Chika's shoulders, burying her face into Chika's hair. "So, you forgive me?"
"As long as you don't start ignoring me again," Chika teased with small chuckle and sniffles, she rubbed her face into Kanan's shoulder.
Kanan's grip tightened. "I promise I won't. I don't know if you believe me, but I won't ever leave you behind again."
"I trust you," Chika mumbled. "I've always trusted you."
They stayed together for a few moments longer, and Chika relished in it. It was back in full force. The happiness that her love gave her. She'd have to confess later, but for now, she would sink into Kanan's embrace, knowing that things were starting to go back to a time she held closer then any other.
The months passed by quicker then Chika expected. First, they were prepping for Love Live, then they were competing, and it all happened in such a flurry it was hard for her to keep track of. They didn't win, but Chika didn't mind much. She got to see everyone grow and shine as a troop of nine close friends. Her dream had been realized, and she did it with everyone around her. Thought the new closeness with Kanan may have overshadowed it all.
They were close again, even more so than when they were younger. It was strange if a day went by in which Chika didn't see Kanan. Walks home, lunch together, and weekend sleepovers had become the new norm.
All it passed by in a flash. Kanan's graduation was only days away, a time that Chika long figured would be filled with heartbreak and tears, but now she wasn't one to let things slip by again. Her love was as strong as it always was, maybe even more meaningful than ever. She wanted to finally do something to make it a reality before Kanan may leave. College only a few months off.
The idea came from one of Riko's manga. She left a simple love letter in Kanan's shoe locker, spilling out her feelings, and inviting Kanan to the rooftop for a face to face confession. Chika knew it was simple and overdone, but she didn't mind much, all that mattered was getting her feelings across.
You's encouragement and kind words helped bring a sense of ease. As Chika stood on the rooftop, the setting sun in the background, she didn't feel afraid. The nerves were there, eating away in the pit of her stomach, but she wasn't afraid of any rejection. Even if Kanan would reject her, Chika was certain it wouldn't change anything. The past months of bonding and growing closer had proven that.
Chika didn't have much of an idea on what to say. Her feelings already being poured out into a letter that had taken weeks to write , testing her lyric writing ability in new ways. She'd wing it, and hope for the best. Being honest and upfront is what You and Riko had always said were her good points and what better way to prove that then giving a confession from the heart. She didn't need any practice in gushing about her love for Kanan. It was something that always came naturally.
The door to the roof creaked open. Chika took in a deep breath before turning and looking. Kanan walked over, the setting sun framing her in a way that Chika thought made her look even more gorgeous. A picturesque sight for a confession, Chika couldn't have asked for more.
"I got your letter," Kanan said, walking over and waving the light blue envelope in the air. "Sorry if you waited long. It took me a while to get through it all."
Chika took steps closer. "Don't worry about it. I wasn't going to go anywhere."
Kanan swallowed, allowing a moment of silence to pass. "I'm not sure what to say about all this."
"Don't you know what a love letter is?" Chika asked, giggling in an attempt to lighten the mood.
"Of course I know what a love letter is. That's not what I meant." Kanan took in a deep breath and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I don't think I ever expected to get one from you of all people."
Chika's heart clenched, the nerves becoming much heavier. "It's kinda weird right. Little old Chika fell in love with her super amazing childhood friend. You don't have to say yes or anything. All I wanted to do was let you know how I felt."
"It's not weird," Kanan mumbled, she took a step closer, the distance between them only a few inches. "I need to know if everything in this letter is true. Have you really been in love with me since elementary school?"
Chika nodded, finding it hard to speak. Her hand instinctively reached up and to rub the yellow ribbon in her hair. "Everything in that letter is the truth. I love you, Kanan. I always have."
"Then you don't think it would be weird if I said I liked you back?"
Chika looked up to meet Kanan's eyes. had she heard that right? "Well I like you, so I don't think it would be weird. I actually think it would be nice."
"Then I'll say it." Kanan wrapped her arms around Chika's neck. "I love you, too, Chika."
"This isn't a joke?" Chika asked, the wide smile on her face betraying any sense of trepidation. "You mean that?
"Do you think I'd say something like that if I didn't feel the same way?"
"You wouldn't." Chika found the will to move her stiff arms, wrapping them around Kanan's waist. She wanted to cry, but the happiness made it hard.
"So that means," Kanan leaned down to plant a chaste kiss to Chika's forehead. "We're dating now, right?"
Chika looked up and nodded, smiling. "I never thought you would ever say yes."
"What's that supposed to mean? How could I turn down someone who's been with me since we were little kids." Kanan looked down, smiling back at Chika. "You should give yourself more credit. I think you're amazing."
"You're the amazing one here."
"Nope, that's you." Kanan placed another kiss to Chika's forehead. "You're the cute one, too."
"If you say so." Chika nuzzled into Kanan's shoulder.
They let the silence fall over them, and basked in their shared presence. Chika's thoughts full of what they would do in the coming months before Kanan left. College was only a few months off, and they'd have to make the most of it, but as they stood on the rooftop none of that mattered. Her love was reciprocated, something Chika hadn't expected for years now. They could worry about the smaller details later.
"It's not like you're leaving forever, you know?" Chika asked, standing outside of Kanan's home. Their last day together after months of getting so caught up in one another. Bittersweet, but not the end. They had long since told each other that something like college wouldn't break them apart. They were much too close for that.
"I know, and we've already talked about it a bunch of times. I get that." Kanan grabbed Chika's hand, looking for a reassuring squeeze. "But, you know, it's still not easy. We won't get to see each other every day. Sure, we can talk on the phone and message each other, but I doubt it will be the same."
"That's true." Chika squeezed back. "I'll miss it. We only got a few months together."
"Yeah, I wish we could have more time." Kanan leaned in for a quick kiss. "But I'll be back during every holiday I can, and I'll come back on some weekends if I can find the time. Plus, when I'm all done with everything in a few years, I'll be right back here."
"I know you will." Chika laughed, smiling wide. "You've gotta use that fancy marine biology degree you're going to get to save all the fishes. I know, I get it."
"Oh, that's not the only thing." Kanan planted another quick kiss on Chika's lips. "There's this cute girl who works at an inn that I've got to come back to. She's wonderful, and so nice, too. I wonder if she's going to be here after I make her wait a few years."
"I think she'll wait for you, but she sounds kinda plain. I'm sure you could do better."
"Oh, she is very plain." Kanan earned a playful hit to the shoulder. "But I love her so much anyway, and I have a feeling she feels the same way."
"You're being a dork." Chika laughed as she pulled away, maybe for the last time in months.
Kanan nearly let out a whimper as Chika pulled her arms back. "I thought I was being romantic."
"You mean cheesy."
"Says the girl who wrote me a love letter and confessed on the school roof. I mean how much cheesier could you get."
Chika blushed with a small smirk. "You liked it though."
"How couldn't I. I was being confessed to by such a pretty girl."
Chika pushed her head up for one last kiss, smiling into the affection as they held for what felt like the last time. It wasn't. They both knew that, but it was going to be strange being apart for the first time ever. Even with the bumps in their relationship through the years, neither of them ever left. Part of Chika was scared, but they would make it through.
Chika was the first to break away, leaning to the side to look past Kanan. A black car sat out in the street, she could see Mari waving from the passenger's side. "You might want to go. Dia might kill you if you're late on the first day."
Kanan sighed. "You're right. I wouldn't want to get a lecture all the way there."
Chika stared for a moment, letting the silence settle before speaking back up. "Make sure you come back soon."
"I will. I've got someone I need to come back to after all."