Kindra stared at the letter she had received via owl. Her eyebrows furrowed into a frown as she read the contents.

Dear Kindra,

We have reviewed your application for the Slytherins with a Death Wish Club. We have one final test in which you must pass in order to become a member. Enclosed is a list of objectives for you to complete. Should you succeed, you will become an honorary member. Should you fail, your application will be trashed and you must wait 6 months before trying again. You have 3 months to complete the objectives.

Sincerely,

Slytherins with a Death Wish

Kindra located the second piece of parchment. Her eyebrows shot up into her hairline. A slow evil grin spread across her face. This was going to be an interesting 3 months.

Snape sat at his grading essays when a knock sounded on his door. A puzzled frown appeared on his face. Who in their right mind would come down to his office at 9:00 in the evening? "Come in," he growled, "this had better be good for your sake," he muttered threateningly as the door open.

It was Kindra, one of his best students. Oddly enough she was wearing a giant plastic apron. She came in really business-like. It had him very worried all of a sudden. Particularly when he saw the clarifying shampoo.

She stalked over to him, grabbed him by the ear and dragged him into the bathroom.

"What-?" he asked startled as he was dragged along, "what the blazes do you think you are doing?" he growled at her as he tried to reassert himself.

Without replying, she stripped him down to his grayish looking undies and shoved him in the shower. Next she poured out a generous portion of shampoo and lathered his oily, slimy, greasy hair. Once she had done all that, she turned and walked out before he could deduct points or stick her in detention.

Kindra made her way to the nearest bathroom where she proceeded to barf up all her dinner. Once done, she pulled the parchment out of her pocket and put a little checkmark beside the objectives:

1. Make him take a shower.

2. Make him use shampoo in aforementioned shower.

3. Make him use clarifying shampoo.

The next day, she turned up in potion's class and was very pleased with the results. He definitely looked cleaner than he had in years past. She suspected that had probably been the first shower he'd had in years.

He spent the entire lesson glaring at her, giving her dirty looks, critizeing her perfect potion, and docking points. He obviously was not pleased with the results.

Tucked inside her bag was a bottle of super-strong facial cleanser. She had put a special spell on it. She had had to get permission from a teacher to go to Restricted Section of the library in order to find the right spell.

As soon as his back was turned, she would apparate over and drop it neatly in front of him and disapparate back to her seat. Never mind the fact that it was impossible to apparate inside Hogwarts Grounds.

She waited till he was done looming over everyone like a giant bat and had sat down at his desk. She pulled the bottle out, with sudden inspiration bespelled it to follow him around regardless of whether he used it or not, apparated behind him without a sound, dropped it neatly into his lap and quickly disapparated back into her seat. By the time he had looked up, she was working on her potion.

Once again she pulled out her list and marked off:

4. Apparate next to him, hand him a tube of super-strong facial cleanser, then quickly Disapparate before he realizes what happened.

5. Enchant this cleanser to follow him around until he uses it.

The bottle rose up off his desk and followed his face around. Pretty soon, students had noticed. There was much giggling going on. He spent the rest of the lesson glaring at her. Quite frankly, she was glad when the bell rang for lunch.

Kindra sat in her usual seat in Potion's class. Professor Snape had started failing her, not that she cared. She was more interested in her membership.

Snape as usual was sweeping around the class examining Potion's and tutting here and there. When he finally got to her cauldron, she sat there bored, expecting him to fail her. He examined her Potion. "

"It seems you have forgot the beetle wings," he said softly.

She snorted quietly. She distinctively remembered putting them in her Potion, but if her wanted to fail her, then he could for all she cared.

He turned away. She grinned evilly as an evil idea occurred to her, "Professor!" she called after him.

Snape paused and his shoulders hunched up. He was obviously scared of what she had to say.

"I stole your favorite teddy bear!" she said grinning.

He spun around a look of horror on his face. "You stole Binky?!" he muttered tearfully, "How could you? He's never done a thing to you in his life,"

This is chapter 1, peoples. I decided to try my hand at humor. Did I succeed? Feel free to review and give me your comments. I look forward to hearing from you. By the way,

You should check out my Harry Potter RP site. The Url is:

h t t p : / / s 1 . z e t a b o a r d s . c o m / H o w a r t s R e m a d e / i n d e x /

Without the spaces obviously.