Forget

by Sagakure

Passed during the blood-drinking scene in chapter 30 of the manga. What happened during the moments when Zero lost his mind in bloodlust and the pureblood was unable to defend himself...? YAOI, Zero x Kaname, Non-con, lemon, some violence. One-shot.

Title: Forget
Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight, this is a fanfic written for fun and for love of the series. I'm not making any money with it.

Warnings: non-con, violence, blood. Run while you can if that squicks you. Also, spoilers for chapter 30, 35, and some Rido stuff.
The fic is passed during chapter 30-31, but it mentions other things.

And, just in case, please don't kill me. XD; I utterly adore Kaname, and this fic is not written with the intent of hurting the character in any way. But he does suffers in it, so if non-con squicks you, you might want to skip. :X

Sort of warning: The whole thing with the vampires' saliva making a victim weaker is of course just made-up for the purposes of the fic. X3 It's not necessarily a canon element in VK, though it would make sense if there was something similar in it since they have all sorts of stuff in the series like pleasurable bites and DNA-altering saliva effect for purebloods etc. All those things gave me the idea for the saliva thingie in this fic. :)

---

.

.

.

He shivered weakly in the other's arms, unwelcome sensations racing through his sluggish body as the silver-haired vampire plundered his neck. That weakness spreading farther and farther and taking over all his muscles was utterly foreign and particularly unpleasant, especially for someone who had been used to having to hold back his power all his life.

In normal conditions, Kaname had to actually be careful to keep the levels of his power down to avoid accidentally hurting someone or damaging things around him merely with the intensity of his aura. It had been that way as long as he could remember, and it was as natural to him as breathing.
At the present moment however, he didn't have enough strength to willingly close his fist tight if he wanted to, and it was frighteningly unsettling. He shuddered again, horrified by the feeling and hoping the hunter didn't notice just how vulnerable he currently was.

That was one of the main reasons why he had wished he would never have to give his blood to anyone. Save of course to Yuuki, if that long awaited day finally came as he hoped it would.

When a vampire submits to another and allows them to take their blood, the bite and the blood sucking motions inject a substance in the bloodstream that quickly travels to the brain and has the effect of a powerful narcotic, making the body of the prey irresponsive and weak. Unless the blood drinking session is very brief, the chemical is powerful enough that the victim soon can't even stand anymore until the effects wear off.

Needless to say, the current session was far from brief.

Vampires had many chemicals in their saliva that had important functions in the act of blood drinking. This one in particular had only a milder effect over humans, but a much stronger one over fellow vampires -perhaps because a vampire's strength was so much more than a human's, and as such the chemical wasn't as needed when preying on humans, so evolution didn't bother with it.

Kaname on the other hand, had of course nothing but pure vampire blood in his veins. It made him stronger than any other vampire, but ironically also much more susceptible to that substance.

It was one of the reasons why taking blood from a pureblood was a forbidden thing. A lower rank vampire preying on a pureblood could easily lose their mind in bloodlust and commit an unthinkable act, taking the life of a weakened pureblood in a moment were they would be defenseless, something that the vampire society couldn't possibly accept. Luckily, since purebloods were much too powerful to be taken by surprise or overpowered by a lower station vampire, this danger was pretty much inexistent unless the pureblood had chosen of his or her own will to submit to giving their blood to another vampire.

If Kaname hadn't intervened, Zero would have fallen to level E that very same night. The hunter needed a very large amount of blood to be saved, even if that salvation was only momentary. Kaname wasn't the one who turned the hunter, so the power in his blood could hold the other's inevitable madness off for some time, but not completely cure him.

He shuddered in disgust, aware that because of that he would have to go through this unpleasant situation again in the future to ensure that Yuuki's shield would be in condition to go on protecting her.

So that everything would be ready for the moment when he would have to make his move. So that Zero would be strong enough. Kaname's blood was needed, and there was no possible way to go around that. So he steeled himself as well as he could and submitted himself to the necessary act.

He knew of the side effects, and that given how much blood he would need to give the hunter, the act was going to last a while and considerably weaken him.

He refused to let the hunter know that, however, and had purposefully put the both of them in a position where he would be already kneeling on the ground before urging the hunter to bite him. That way at least, he wouldn't fall or need Zero's support to stand once his body betrayed him.

Zero being an ex-human, the danger was higher. Ex-humans had control issues when it came to bloodlust. The beast in them was much more dangerous and out of control than in born vampires. In a way they were more vampire than the others, as Kaname didn't hesitate to point out. And because Zero was so close to level E state, the danger was even bigger.

But Kaname wasn't the type to take risks unprepared. He may never have experienced in person the weakness of having his blood taken, but he had studied the subject in depth from the day when he had made his decision to give his blood to the hunter. Furthermore, he had many times seen the effects on others, when he drank from them. He had a good idea of how it worked and what to expect. It wasn't as easy to predict with a pureblood as the prey of course, but from his research and from his knowledge of his own strength, he believed he had a good idea of how it would go.
There was a possibility that his blood would be too powerful for Zero to absorb easily, and that it might cause a violent reaction, but even if it happened and things didn't go as well as planned, it wasn't as if he would be completely defenseless. He should still have access to part of his powers, diminished as they would be. It should be far enough to deal with an ex-human.

Everything would go as planned. The hunter would drink, would regain his mind, and then leave. Kaname would still have access to some of his mental powers to defend himself in case the other lost it, and once he was gone, he would be free to collapse until the effects of the chemical in his body wore off, if he didn't have enough strength to stand.

It would be fine. After all, it wasn't as if he would be completely at the mercy of the other, even while under the spell of his bloodlust.

Ironically, especially for one that was normally never prone to overlooking any element in his carefully planned strategies, what Kaname wasn't counting on was that his blood being even stronger, even "more pure", than that of any other pureblood - the very thing that made the Kuran blood so powerful - was also what would undo him, making him remarkably more susceptible to the chemical reaction when the components in Zero's saliva hit his bloodstream and traveled to his brain.
He realized now that even if he wanted to push the other away from him, he didn't have enough physical or even mental strength to do anything at all. It was a terrifying sensation, if not for the fact that Kaname didn't allow himself such a feeling, that might otherwise cloud his thinking and make his chances of keeping things running as planned even more slim.

It was too late to back out of it now. The hunter was holding onto him with an inhumane strength, gripping his shirt with one hand and shoving the Bloody Rose against Kaname's chin with the other, tilting his head back painfully while he drank from his neck with ravenous gulps, that hot mouth clinging to the pureblood's flesh with a desperation and fervor that sent worried shivers traveling up his spine. The hunter's eyes were blood red, pupils dilated in a crazed look that was eons away from his normal gaze.

This was not Zero Kiryuu, this was the beast in him, the Vampire, and Kaname Kuran was currently his prey, helpless and focusing all the strength he had left into holding onto his pride to not let out a whimper from the onslaught of foreign sensations in his body.

Weakness was something Kaname couldn't possibly get used to, something he had never experimented before. Well, save for moments of his life that he wished to seal away in his memory and utterly refused to remember. Moments when he had been completely at the mercy of Rido. Moments that he was having trouble not thinking of at the moment, as he shuddered weakly in the hunter's strong grip.

The speed with which Zero was drinking was making him dizzy, and pumping more of the chemicals into his bloodstream with each sucking motion. His heart raced in his chest, apparently the only thing in his body that didn't feel sluggish and lead-ridden at the moment. It accelerated his circulation and spilled the blood into the hunter's eager mouth even faster.

Kaname felt his mind spinning, but refused to ask the other to slow down. He wouldn't admit to this weakness, and he didn't trust his voice to sound in control at the moment. Even if he did ask, it was highly unlikely the hunter would heed to his demand, if he even understood him in that bloodlust state, and Kaname didn't want to risk giving orders that wouldn't be obeyed, when he had no means to enforce such orders. It would send the dangerous message that he was at the other's mercy and couldn't defend himself.

And besides, if the hunter drank fast it meant this embarrassing situation would be over sooner. Kaname clung to that idea, but the powerful bloodlust he felt emanating from Zero wasn't reassuring at all and didn't show any signs of diminishing any time soon.

Much more worrisome, the hunter had ceased holding him by his shirt and had snaked an arm around Kaname's waist, his hand sliding down the pureblood's back and settling by his backside in a most disquieting manner. A sudden rush of shame flushed Kaname's fair skin when that hand slid farther down, cupping the perfect roundness of one of the pureblood's buttocks, fingers digging painfully against his flesh. Fear started to finally hit his mind. This was completely unplanned for.

Kaname regretted his previous hesitation and how long he waited before taking action. He had made the decision to give his blood to the hunter long ago. He didn't have to wait until now. But he really didn't want this, didn't want to have to pay the price with his body and go through all of this... so he waited and waited, telling himself that most ex-humans take years, in some rare cases decades or even more before they fall to level E, and that there was no hurry in submitting himself to this.

Nevermind that it could be completely different from an ex-human to another, and that many of them did fall much faster. He waited until the last minute, until the hunter was very much about to fall, before intervening. And he would pay the price now.

The hunter - or better saying, the vampire, for he couldn't possibly be farther from a hunter at the moment - disengaged his fangs unexpectedly, tearing the skin and flesh around the bite wounds roughly, and shoved his prey onto the ground hard, slamming Kaname's back against the cold tile floor still covered from the dust and debris from the destroyed wall and their fight. The ground was hard against Kaname's weakened muscles, and the fall tore an unwanted yelp from his lips, deepening the flush on his face.

Kaname desperately tried to crawl away backwards, but realized he didn't even have the strength to do that much, his arms betraying him and refusing to support his weight. The hunter was quickly above him, bloodlust eyes glowing like embers and pinning him down with a gaze filled with promises of pain if he tried to escape, before he grabbed the pureblood by his shirt and dragged him farther away from the wall to have more space. Kaname gasped, breathing shallowly with his lips parted, cursing on and on his weakened body and traitorous lungs that were making him hyperventilate right in the moment when he most needed to stay alert to try and regain control of the situation if such a thing was even possible now.

Even though Zero wasn't currently drinking his blood, his saliva had pumped enough chemicals into it for Kaname to be out of it for quite a while. From what he'd researched and seen on other vampires, unless the blood drinking was very short, the weakened state could last for quite some time. Hours even, after a particularly longer session.

He was also finally realizing just how much he had underestimated how hard it would hit him due to his Kuran blood. A meager solace was that at least he didn't lose conscience from it, which would have left him even more defenseless. Some fainted when someone took too much from them, but it seems he was spared that weakness at least.

The moment the hunter's nails lengthened to talons and started tearing at Kaname's clothing, the pureblood felt tempted to curse his bloodline for the situation, and when Zero's claws tore off the belt and waist area of Kaname's pants and started shredding away the fabric to expose the soft skin beneath, he almost wished he was unconscious after all. He realized with a deep horror what would probably happen next.

The hunter was completely lost in bloodlust, the power of the Kuran blood running through his body filling him with unexpected strength and making him mindless and entirely focused on his prey. The raw energy in that blood was so maddeningly intoxicating, that he could barely contain that strength within his body. He felt as if he might explode or go mad under the onslaught of that unbridled power, and all he could do to not lose himself in it was instead to turn the full force of that power into fueling the fire of his bloodlust.

The blood that was still spilling from Kaname's wounds and pooling softly in the ground under him was filling the air with a delightful scent that wound up the crazed vampire even more, telling him through the scent that if that blood tasted so delicious, how much better the whole body of Kaname must taste.

The pureblood's clothes were now torn to rags, hanging from him in a revealing manner that left nothing to imagination, the enticing skin showing in between the rags, pale like porcelain and streaked with several long red lines pearling with blood in each area where the hunter's claws had left long slits marring the perfection of that irresistible body.

The hunter grabbed bunches of the thorn shreds of clothing and tore it off the pureblood's body to finish uncovering that masterpiece of beauty of which he desperately wanted to get a better look.

Slow as they may be at the moment, Kaname's arms flew to cover himself when the hunter pulled off the torn clothing. He was rewarded with a brutal punch to the abdomen that knocked the wind out of him and slammed him harder against the ground, forcing out a cry of pain that he couldn't hold back, much as he hated himself for that additional display of weakness.

The hunter grabbed a hold of the pureblood's wrists and pried them away from his body to get a better view. Kaname was trembling with rage and offered the only resistance he could oppose to Zero at the moment, by glaring daggers at him. But the hunter only smiled a bestial grin and licked his lips, liking what he saw in those eyes.

Beyond the incontrollable rage that Kaname felt, Zero's instincts could smell the fear hiding underneath, and it fueled him on like nothing else. Vampires, like most predators, could smell weakness no matter how well the prey tried to hide it.

Diving low onto that irresistible neck, he bit down hard again, releasing one of Kaname's wrists to use that hand to shove the pureblood's head to the side for better access, fingers disappearing in the dark hair.

He drank now more for pleasure than for need, sucking the heady nectar greedily, tearing horrified little involuntary gasps from his victim as he settled himself between the pale legs, shoving them aside with his own, forcing the pureblood to spread his legs for him.

Kaname's mind was racing, sheer panic rushing through his irresponsive body to take over him. He desperately tried to push the hunter off him, but his arms felt heavy like lead and held no strength, incapable of moving the other at all.

He had feared the inevitable humiliation that would come with submitting his blood to Zero, but he never expected the hunter to lose it completely to bloodlust, and much less for himself to be so incredibly helpless. Even if things had taken a definite turn for the worst, he expected at most a rough treatment and perhaps to loose more blood than he had planned for before the hunter calmed down or passed out as his body tried to absorb the pure blood.

But this was countless time worse than anything he could possibly have expected. Not only Zero showed no signs of passing out -the fresh blood actually making his bloodlust even stronger- but whatever Kaname had believed about his powers was completely wrong, his Kuran blood much too susceptible to the chemical reactions, making him unable to do anything with his mind or body to protect himself from the hunter's lust.

Blood drinking was an intimate act, and at a vampire's eyes, very close to sex. The fangs penetrating the skin, the sensations it brought, it was all very similar and that naturally caused blood drinking to be an important part of sexual relations as well, between vampires. As a result, many automatically turned to sexual behavior while drinking, even when it was done just for feeding.

This was why vampires were taught from an early age to chose well their partners and stay away from those who couldn't control their instincts, especially in a situation where one could easily be completely vulnerable and at the mercy of the other.

But for some reason, Kaname had assumed Zero wouldn't be like that. Perhaps it was more that he knew he had no choice but give him his blood, for Yuuki. As a result, whatever his rational side told him, deep inside he really didn't want to believe things could possibly turn that badly, and that had partially blinded him.

The pureblood tried to reason the other, tried to appeal to the human side currently sleeping in the vampire in Zero, but his weak protests were silenced when the hunter crushed his lips against his in a bruising mockery of a kiss, fangs scraping his skin and forcing his mouth open to explore and devour. Shame colored Kaname's face once more while his captor sucked on his tongue and took in the taste of his mouth, drawing blood with his fangs and showing him clearly just how helpless he was.

The hunter shoved his legs aside harshly, and Kaname shuddered harder, fear throwing his mind deeper in a haze when he felt something hard and cold press roughly against the most intimate spot of his body.

Zero had broken off the 'kiss', and was now holding both of Kaname's wrists above his head, while the pureblood made a fruitless effort to try and raise his head to see what was touching him. A guttural voice, that he nearly didn't recognize as being Zero's, more of a low growl than a human sounding voice, answered the question in his eyes.

"You know what it is."

The metal was cold against the pureblood's heated skin, and its anti-vampire nature sent painful little jolts of electricity superficially zapping the delicate skin it was pressing against, reacting to a vampire that was not bound to it.

"N-no... don't..."

The hunter chuckled while shoving the barrel of the Bloody Rose harder against the pureblood's entry, the hard metal pressing painfully against the sensitive area.

"DON'T KIRYUU, DON'T!"

He had finally given in to the panic racking his body, but it didn't stop the hunter, who merely gave him a hungry smile as he slid the barrel in, tearing a cry from Kaname's lips as the cold metal spread him open forcefully, the bulky frame painfully thick as it invaded that tight warm sheath, making him feel like he would tear apart from the lack of preparation. It stretched him so tightly that the pain was enough to override even the electric jolts the metal was still giving him.

"You know what would happen if I shoot now? Maybe you won't die, since you're a pureblood and all. Maybe we could try?"

"No...no..." The pureblood's breath wavered, hitching in his throat as he spoke.

"Beg me to take you, and I'll remove the gun." The hunter's finger was on the trigger. Kaname didn't have to see it, he knew it. But if he still needed any confirmation on how serious he was, Zero clicked the safety on and then off again, to remind him of the position he held him in.

"I'm waiting..." he whispered huskily, sliding the gun in and out roughly for emphasis. The sights at the tip of the slide protruded from the rest of the shape of the gun, creating an additional discomfort as the hard metal slid against the delicate flesh inside the pureblood in a penetration made more cruel by the sneer the hunter was giving him, visibly delighted by each reaction he could get from him.

Kaname's chest heaved with silent sobs, although he would have liked to believe it was just his ragged breath. His eyes were wet but he didn't want to allow himself to cry even if it was from rage. He knew Zero was serious. It wasn't Zero anymore, it was the beast. The Night itself, the Vampire. He knew he wouldn't hesitate to shoot, and then just finish drinking his blood to take his power before escaping. It didn't matter if Kaname lived or not, for the vampire. There was nothing rational and nothing of the normal Zero in the creature in front of him now.

And yet, Kaname couldn't bring himself to do the degrading thing the hunter ordered him to, and remained lost in a mortified silence, clenching his jaw tightly, his face burning with shame and his wet eyes fixed on the ceiling above them, wishing he was somewhere else far away.

The hunter didn't appreciate his silence, and reminded him of his position by ramming the gun in as far as it would go, in one swift and rough movement that sent a jolt of pain and horror racking through the pureblood's body. Kaname stifled a scream when he felt the trigger guard press against the entry, showing how deep the long barrel was buried in him.

Zero's trigger finger pulled back, the small movement perfectly perceptible now that his hand was against Kaname's skin due to where the gun currently was.

"No! Please!"

"Please what?" There was raw delight dropping from the deep voice as he spoke, a sadistic pleasure in his glowing red eyes.

"Ple...ase... don't... don't make me say it..."

"Wrong answer." The finger that had slackened on the trigger pulled back farther, nearly firing the gun.

Yuuki! Think of Yuuki! This too, was for her. So that she would be safe. So that all his carefully set out plans wouldn't be entirely destroyed by this failure.

The panic racing through Kaname's mind told him the only thing it could, that regardless of the horror he was going through, ultimately he absolutely had to survive the night. For her, to protect her. His death now would destroy all he had ever tried to build.

"Please... please...take...me." Kaname didn't try to convince himself that he wasn't sobbing anymore. His chest heaved in pure and complete misery as the broken words slipped out of his lips in between his ragged breaths.

The hunter had an expression of absolute ecstasy on his face.

"Be grateful, Kuran. If I were truly cruel, I would shoot you now anyway, after making you beg. And I might take you afterwards all the same."

There was a lewd grin on his lips while he clicked the safety back on and pulled the gun out roughly, before putting it away on the ground, sliding it off farther from them.

Kaname was sobbing silently, abject horror filling his whole being at the situation and at what he had just done.

The hunter let go of the pureblood's wrists and wrapped the fingers of his left hand around the other's slender neck instead, tightening his grip just enough for it to be painful, but not enough to suffocate him. With his other hand, he undid his belt and unzipped his pants, shoving Kaname's legs aside to have more space before placing himself better between the pureblood's legs and moving that hand to Kaname's hip to pin him against the ground.

The pureblood held his breath, eyes tight shut, expecting an immediate penetration, but instead, Zero let go of his hip for a moment to lean forward and run his fingers in the small pool of blood that had collected in the ground, where it had dripped from Kaname's neck.

With mock kindness he explained "Since you asked so nicely, I won't take you dry", before running his blood smeared fingers over the pureblood's entrance, rough movements a mockery of an actual preparation, as he shoved him open with his fingers, barely coating him with the thick pure blood. Kaname whimpered softly, his throat constricting and his eyes closing again from too much shame as the painful motions stretched him again and again, much too rough to actually properly prepare him for what quickly followed.

The hunter's hard flesh was now pressing against the tight entrance, much thicker than the gun barrel, and in its own way, more frightening even. The gun was an unbearable humiliation, but this... this would be so much worse. Kaname sucked in his breath, perfectly convinced that no matter what happened, he would never heal from this. His body may, but he wouldn't.

There was no going back from this, was there? Their eyes met for a second, Kaname trying to search for any humanity left in the bloodlust eyes of his tormentor, and finding none. At that exact moment, Zero rammed into him, in a single, swift motion that jerked a strangled scream out of him, made nearly silent by the hunter's fingers that squeezed his throat as the cry came out.

He was in agony. His legs convulsed, clenching weakly against the hunter's waist, acting on instinct, desperately, impossibly trying to close, to make the pain go away. He thought he knew pain. He was wrong. This was worse even than Rido's torture had been, if such a thing was possible. He had forgotten what true agony felt like.

Zero lessened his grip on the pureblood's neck slightly, allowing him to breathe. He knew he didn't have to silence him. The walls of the Moon Dorm were thick enough and built in a way that made that barely any sound would go through. Even without that, unless Kaname expressly called for help, no one would dare to enter his chambers. And the pureblood wasn't going to call anyone, not when he was so humiliated. He had too much to loose if anyone saw him that way. Not to mention that calling them in his current state would only mean he would be at the mercy of a crowd of vampires rather than a single one. Vampires were hardwired to take what their instincts told them they wanted. It was unlikely that more than a minority of people in the crowd gathering outside would be able to resist those instincts.

The beast part of Zero told him that much, although he also had some access to Zero's unconscious thoughts, and even though the human part was far too deeply asleep now, part of him understood that for some reason he couldn't currently grasp in this state, Kaname couldn't kill him because of Yuuki. And that meant that he could do as he pleased without having to worry. This proud pureblood, his irresistible body and his intoxicating blood were entirely and completely at his mercy, his to do as he pleased.

He laughed coldly, the feeling of raw power surging through his body - both from the pure vampire blood he had drank and from the power he currently had over Kaname - and sending him even deeper into the bloodlust as he shifted his hips and started bucking into the lithe body beneath him, tearing choked little sobs out of the pureblood as Kaname desperately tried not to whimper.

He gave a painful squeeze to the pureblood's throat once more, as a reminder. "You don't even breathe without my permission, Kuran!"

Kaname's neck was sticky with blood, the bite wounds still unhealed, but Zero's grip was strong on the slippery skin.

"Why are you doing all this to me? I never did anything to you... I... I.." It was hard to work the words out of his pained throat, but he desperately needed to, weak and miserable as he realized he sounded.

The hunter's reply held no mercy whatsoever.

"You always look at me from above... and I. Don't. Like. That!" Each word was punctuated by the hunter's hips slamming into the pureblood, ramming deeper into him and tearing weak cries from his lips with each movement. "Now it's time to wipe that look of superiority from your face, pureblood." He put emphasis on the last word, saying it in a sneer while he rammed himself harder into the unwilling body.

Kaname squeezed his eyes shut again, unable to hold the tears in anymore. Superiority? Well, one thing was sure, whether he unconsciously did before or not, he wouldn't be able to look at Zero that way ever again.

Hell, he probably wouldn't be able to look at him at all, if he even survived that night. He wasn't too sure he wanted to survive this violation, in fact; other than to cling to the idea that he would tear the other apart when he regained his strength.

But he couldn't afford to do even that, could he? By himself, he couldn't possibly defeat Rido, not with the curse the other pureblood held over him. He needed Zero. Zero was the only one who could truly save Yuuki, when the time came.

And for her, Kaname would do anything. He would endure anything. So he swallowed his pride and shame and told himself he had to live so Zero wouldn't be killed by the others. For Yuuki.

He couldn't even afford to think of revenge.

This was precisely why he surrendered and begged, and why he was now trying to live through this so it would finally be over.

He had trouble breathing through the tight grip on his throat, and gasped for air between sobs. His mind was already spinning before, now it was much worse.

In a moment of clairvoyance, he mused to himself that if he lost conscience, the hunter would probably kill him, having nothing left to keep him at bay from the temptation of the blood. He clung to his conscience with all he had. He couldn't afford to be killed like this, and right now.

He felt too tainted to be able to ever go near Yuuki again. He wasn't sure what he would be able to do, but the only coherent thought in his mind was that if he died, there would be no one to ensure that things would go as they should go, and that she would be safe. No one to keep Zero from turning to level E and possibly going against her either.

He fought his traitorous body, desperately trying to cling to his weakened and irresponsive muscles, struggling to stay awake and survive the ordeal. A thick drop of blood ran out of his left nostril, then another and another, from where a blood vessel had burst. Soon he was crying tears of blood too in his efforts. It fascinated the hunter, who bucked above him without slackening the near suffocating grip he still had on the pureblood's neck. The blood, that would have looked out of place on a human, was somehow compelling and enticing rolling down Kaname's face in thick, dark drops that disappeared into his hair or fell heavily on the bathroom ground, joining the ones that had fallen from his neck.

Kaname's jaw was clenched tensely, the leaden muscles in his arms and legs as taut as he could muster. His mind clung to reality and tried to not pass out, but his body was in too much pain and horror, and all his nerves cried out for a much desired oblivion that would save him from the pain and the humiliation, even if just for a moment.

If he could focus on something, make his body believe he wanted this, make himself somehow enjoy it...

He considered, in a wild thought... If it was Yuuki...

Nevermind that she couldn't possibly penetrate him that way. For vampires, penetration of the skin by fangs was a very similar feeling to sexual penetration, and as such, it didn't feel like that far of a stretch in his mind to imagine that she would penetrate him sexually. He would welcome it with delight, from her.

But the thought faded away quickly, leaving nothing but emptiness and a burning shame at the fact that he might dare to consider likening this utterly shameful agony to anything even remotely linked to her precious touch.

The hunter looked down at Kaname's pained face streaked with tears of blood, and, in a moment of pity - or additional cruelty, Kaname couldn't quite tell which - he hooked his hand under the pureblood's left leg and raised it, shifting their position slightly. It was a small change, but it made a colossal difference. Kaname was now leaning a bit more on his side rather than flat on his back, and when the hunter shifted farther forward, forcing the pureblood's back to bend and put his weight more on his shoulders, Zero got them in a position where he could angle his thrusts better and started hitting a spot that tore a choked gasp from Kaname's lips from the very first moment it connected.

The pureblood squirmed, unsure of what was happening and not trusting his own body and sensations at the moment. Zero let go of his leg, having slid his own legs beneath the pureblood's lower back and being now able to hold him in that position. He kept his left hand around Kaname's throat, but put his right one on the ground next to the pureblood's side, leaning forward more and resuming his bucking.

It was still hard to breathe now, but for a whole new reason that went beyond just the hunter's grip on his neck. The pain was slowly changing into something he didn't quite understand, something that was sending jolts of pleasure spreading like electricity through his whole body, ramifying as if every single one of his nerves was coming to life throughout his whole body each time the hunter slammed against that spot. He whimpered softly, before it unwillingly turned into weak little groans of pleasure following the rhythm of his captor's hips. He wasn't sure if he was better off now, the immense shame from his reactions tearing apart whatever remains of pride he could possibly still have. But his body desperately needed this, and clung to each pleasurable sensation with all it had. I was a matter of survival now.

Kaname was beautiful that way, bruised, bloodied, but still perfect under it all, whimpering softly as his hips unconsciously replied to the hunter's motions and arched up to meet him each time he thrust in. Normal tears were rolling down the pureblood's cheeks again, washing trails in the blood that had partially dried on his face.

Maybe it was that unfathomable beauty that caused the hunter to have an unexpected gentle reaction, and to let go of the pureblood's throat to move his hands to Kaname's arms, holding them pinned on the ground on each side of his body. The new position also gave him better balance and an even better angle to hit that one spot he had discovered. The way the pureblood reacted to the pleasure and writhed beneath him was even more fascinating than the way he had reacted to the pain, and the hunter was mesmerized, wanting to see more, wanting to drive the lithe body beneath him mad with voluptuous ecstasy and see how he looked like when he came completely undone with it.

The pureblood coughed, choking on the sudden intake of air that he had long been denied. But quickly the cough was replaced by urgent little moans that he was more and more unable to hold back. It was like losing control of his body all over again. His muscles were finally starting to be slightly responsive again, not yet enough for him to do anything against the hunter, but he didn't quite feel anymore like he was a prisoner inside a foreign shell, of which he suffered all the sensations without being able to react or do anything to stop it.

But while it was a good sign that indicated that slowly but surely the effect of the chemicals in his blood was wearing off, it somehow made him feel even more ashamed, because his body was finally a little more responsive, but he could do nothing with it, save for bucking into the hunter's movements, his body betraying him over and over, surrendering into the sensations and offering itself to the enemy in such a degrading manner.

He had just enough strength to arch into the contact and yield to the hunter's desires, but not enough control to fight it, either fight his own body or fight Zero.

His nails tore superficial gashes into the tiles of the ground where his arms were pinned and he cried tears of rage at the renewed humiliation forced on him now, no longer only by his captor but by his own body as well. But it was just too good, he simply couldn't think straight long enough to focus on his well founded rage. Soon, he was throwing his head back, throat exposed, moaning uncontrollably with each thrust, his breath coming out in completely chaotic gasps, his body shuddering hard, the very image of rapturous pleasure as he neared completion and his need became more and more urgent.

The normally perfectly controlled pureblood that stood proud and always composed was a distant memory, replaced by the wanton body with tousled hair splayed on the bathroom ground as Kaname threw his head around keening in his throat in absolute shameful but inevitable delicious need, bruised lips flushed and mouthing words he wouldn't dare say aloud, begging for more, for a deeper violation, contradicting everything he truly believed he wanted.

The erotic vision before Zero's eyes was impossible to resist, and the hunter put his weight on one arm to use his free hand to grip the pureblood's long neglected arousal, harsh fingers snaking around it and pumping relentlessly to the rhythm of his hard body thrusting into him on same time, the combination of both unbearable for the lost pureblood.

Too ashamed by all that he had already done, Kaname used the fact that Zero had released one of his arms to shove his own hand into his mouth and bite down on it to stop himself from screaming aloud when the hunter pumped him into his fist. But his whole body was contracting wildly, tense muscles tightening even harder, as far as they could possibly go in his current state, pulling him to the very edge like a bow taut and ready to fire its arrow. Soon, his conscience was spiraling out of control under the strength of the mind-shattering orgasm that racked through his body, making him arch against the hunter once more, tightening around him with such unexpected strength that quickly Zero too was losing himself, spilling his seed inside that incredible hot body that quivered beneath him in the almost electric jolts of the aftermath of his climax.

Just like the effects of the bite had slowly started to wean off from Kaname's body, the orgasm shook Zero to the core and left him limp and sated, bloodlust slowly fading away as little by little his normal self returned to the surface, to find himself in the most unexpected situation ever.

Kaname was shivering weakly under Zero's body, partially from the afterglow but for an even greater part from the horrible shame and pain that still shook his body and mind.

Zero on the other hand, felt deliciously sated, both from the thirst and in other parts of his body that felt rather foreign at the moment, and he stared at the whole scene in utter horror, having no memory whatsoever of anything that happened.

He backed away suddenly, realizing he was pinning the pureblood to the ground, and jerked out of him with the movement, tearing a whimper from Kaname from the sudden forceful release.

Suddenly free, although still terribly weakened and barely in control of his body, the pureblood pulled his legs closer to himself, in an instinctive attempt to curl them up to his chest to protect himself.

In Zero's case, it was just a matter of his conscious mind snapping back out of the bloodlust, but in Kaname's case, his whole body and powers would still remain rather unresponsive until the effects of the substance wore off completely.

Zero had stood up and was backing away nervously, taking in the whole scene, the gigantic hole in the wall through which they had gone from the room to the bathroom, the shattered bathtub, the broken tiles, torn curtains and other destroyed furniture, masonry and appliances.

But most of all, his gaze was fixed on a single spot in front of him, transfixed in horror by the sight of Kaname curling up in the ground in a mess of his own blood, trails of blood streaking the inside of his legs, stemming from that delicate spot, his whole body marred with bruises and blood smudges. The way the pureblood was still shivering, his gaze lost in the ground and his skin burning with shame as he shrank away from him.

Zero clutched his head in horror, having no memory of anything after the moment during the fight when Kaname told him to drink his blood and he desperately accepted. He remembered that they talked of Yuuki... of how it was all for her, of how they shared the exact same feelings for her. Zero had originally hesitated, but he saw the truth in the pureblood's eyes in that moment, and his absolute love for Yuuki had achieved to convince him to trust him, and to accept the dangerously tempting blood he offered him. He remembered clinging to him and sinking his fangs into the exposed throat above him.

He lost it after that, and didn't remember anything else. But there was no doubt about what had happened, even though Zero had no idea how it was possible that it had happened at all.

He stepped forward, reaching for the wounded form on the ground, and he was horrified to see the pureblood recoil at his approach. It paradoxically both convinced him that what happened was real, and made it seem all the more unreal. How was it possible? How? How did this happen, how did Kuran let this happen?

He reached a tentative hand, fingers brushing the pureblood's knee in what was meant to be a reassuring touch while he asked "Are you... okay?"

But Kaname was far from reassured, and the sudden approach sent all the wrong messages through his mind, not yet very firmly returned from the chaos it had been thrown in during the night.

"D-Don't touch me anymore!" The fire in the pureblood's eyes was real and as fierce as ever, but when he attempted to get up to back away out of reach of the hunter, it was much too sudden, and his knees buckled under him, betraying him and sending him crashing into the ground with a stifled gasp. The pain tearing at him from the violation he had just suffered awakened anew, burning inside and at his entrance, and he swallowed a sob of both pain and utter shame when he hit the ground.

Kuran couldn't stand?

Realization started to dawn on Zero that whatever had happened had made the pureblood unable to defend himself. Now the current situation made a lot more sense, even if it tore him apart to even imagine what he had done.

Worse yet, a small part of him that had now disappeared inside his mind but still vaguely lingered at the very outskirts of his subconscious, sent a wave of heat straight to his groin when he saw the pureblood attempting to crawl away backwards, clearly still vulnerable despite his very slowly returning powers.

Oh no, no...no... He had really done this.

Not only he had done it, but he realized he could very well do it again, if the bloodlust took him again.

He shook with abject disgust for himself, a wave of self-loathing taking over his whole being.

So it really was like that. Whenever he wasn't thinking, his body was no more than a beast... just the way he did to Ichiru, devouring his health and strength before both even came into this world... he had destroyed another person.

In normal times, Zero would most likely not automatically think 'another person' of Kaname Kuran, but at the present moment he had such absolute loathing for himself that in comparation, Kaname appeared so much more human at his eyes, so real and alive with his pain, bleeding right in front of his eyes, backing away against the wall and clutching his knees to his chest as he watched him carefully, anger mixing with the traces of fear still left in his eyes, that he tried to hide and failed.

Zero had noticed before that even with Yuuki, when he was in bloodlust he was much more violent and rough than he would ever behave with anyone. But he had never realized he could possibly fall that low. Oh God, what if it had happened to her? And... and it could still happen! It could happen to anyone. No one was safe from him when he was like that.

This was so much worse than any fear he had before. He'd long hated himself for the danger he represented to others in this state, but in his still youthful mind, it was danger of bleeding someone dry. Never before had he realized that he could actually cause such devastating damage to someone with his body, rather than just the damage he caused with his fangs.

He dropped to his knees in utter horror, hands covering his mouth by fear he would scream uncontrollably. He couldn't stand the idea of the sound of his own voice at the moment.

Kaname was still watching him warily, his eyes boring into the hunter like a silent accusation, while he covered the bite marks on his neck with a weak hand, feeling the sticky blood that coated his neck and oozed slowly from the wound that wasn't healing yet.

Yes! That was the answer! Zero had a flash of realization as he glanced at Kaname's wounds, and lunged for the Bloody Rose.

The barrel was tainted with blood and fluids. The hunter had a look of stupefied horror, then glanced back at the pureblood, wide eyed in partial understanding of something that shattered him inside with even more self-loathing, if such a thing was possible. What had he done?

Kaname avoided the hunter's eyes, looking down quickly as his face colored once more under the burning fire of the shame that utterly consumed him.

But he quickly looked back up when he saw what exactly Zero was about to do. The hunter had flicked the safety of the gun off and pressed the tip of the barrel under his own chin aiming upwards at the brain, eyes squeezed shut and a look of absolute determination on his pale face as he squeezed the trigger and fired the shot.

It was the only way. Only that way, could he make those around him safer and atone at least a little bit for his unforgivable acts.

He didn't expect to be suddenly jerked back by the weight slamming into his chest as the pureblood all but flung himself at him as well as he could, wrenching the gun away from the hunter's head, his hands wrapped around the barrel even as the gun zapped him again, and even as the shot fired, piercing straight through his left hand that had accidentally grabbed onto the tip of the barrel. Kaname cried out in pain, but he had succeeded, he had stopped the shot, even if he didn't really have enough strength in his body to stand, and was now free-falling once he had lost the momentum of his lunge. His body had barely any strength in it, but his mental powers were steadily growing as the chemical wore off, and the speed of his reflexes was returning, despite how sluggish his muscles still felt.

The hunter instinctively caught him in his arms before the pureblood slid to the ground, and the unwelcome contact made Kaname shudder and struggle weakly in his grasp.

In Zero's mind, it replayed strangely similar to the moment he attacked Yuuki and drank her blood for the first time. The way it was an utter violation of trust and shattered to pieces something sacred... the way she barely could stand afterwards, and yet, when Kaname had been about to kill Zero for what he'd just done, she still run to put herself between them and save his life, despite what he'd just done to her. The way she fell, and he caught her, automatically.

In a strange, distorted way, it was the exact same situation, except that he'd done a lot more than just drink Kaname's blood.

"Kuran... You can't possibly let me live. Not after what I did to you."

Kaname did not want to meet his gaze, and looked away, shivering softly in the hunter's arms, desperately trying to muster enough control and strength to will his legs to support his own weight.

He fixed his gaze on the wall as he asked "Do you remember what happened, Kiryuu? Do you know what exactly it is that you did?"

The hunter was silent, eyes cast down in immense guilt, but when the pureblood looked up, he could clearly see written on that face that while Zero had perfect understanding of what had happened, he did not remember it per se.

It was not he who tore him open and forced him into the most degrading submission. It was something else inside him, the beast in him, but not the boy who stood now holding him with such care that it seemed he feared the pureblood was made of glass and would break apart if he handled him roughly.

And as long as they were not the same person, Kaname could stand letting this boy live. He might tear the other to pieces if he ever showed himself in front of him again, though. He would just have to ensure that Zero retained his sanity and never came that close to the fall again. This other persona in him was most definitely not someone he ever wanted to see again.

Instinctively, Kaname knew it wasn't merely because of the fall. All vampires had a softer charming side and a beast hidden within it. If Kaname was ever so controlled, it was precisely because the idea of letting that loose was so unacceptable at his eyes. But Zero didn't have that much control. So when that side of him came out, it was quite the shocking sight, whether or not it was more crazed due to the imminent descent to level E.

But regardless of that inevitable problem, Kaname's blood would strengthen more than just the boy's body. His resolve and control should get better and better with it as well.

And besides, it wasn't as if he had a choice, the pureblood told himself. He had already laid out the pieces of his game long ahead, and he couldn't afford to back out of it and try to start a new strategy anew. He had no possible replacement for Zero. He didn't have enough time, and it would inevitably give the advantage, if not the certain victory to his enemies, dooming the one he most wanted to protect. No... Even while the hunter had been plowing him, tearing apart his body and his mind with the raw horror of the rape, Kaname's certainty that he had to avoid Zero's death hadn't wavered.

The only person who could possibly protect her, and free him from the curse his enemy had over him...

So he did the only thing he possibly could in his current state, and in reply to the hunter's current nervous fidgeting, he straightened himself as best as he could, reaching with his hands around the back of the boy's neck, using that grip to weakly pull himself up, to be at a better height to make eye contact before he took the hunter by surprise, pressing his bruised lips against the other's still blood-stained ones in a completely unexpected kiss that made Zero's eyes widen in absolute shock, all barriers he could possibly still have crashing down under the total surprise from the pureblood's unexpected move. Before Zero could come back from the shock and do something, he felt the sudden command the pureblood whispered into his mouth, concentrating all that he could use of his mind control to send his order straight into the other's mind, in the only effective manner he could use in his current state.

Forget.

.

Kaname whimpered softly. The pain of the fall on his abused body had been worse than he expected. The moment he had disconnected Zero's mind from reality, the hunter had crashed down heavily, inevitably dragging him along in the fall since the pureblood still couldn't stand.

He would have to do a better job than that in wiping out whatever memories of the aftermath of the incident Zero still had, but that would have to wait until he could move better. At the moment, he was so tired from his exertion and from having had to use what little he could use of his power in this state, that all he could do was lay exhausted against the very body that had ravaged him no more than minutes ago. He sighed softly, small shivers of disgust at himself and at the whole situation still shooting through his body as he tried to desperately burrow against the warmth of the hunter's body, tears stinging in his eyes now that the other wasn't conscious and couldn't see him. Kaname gave in to that ironically comforting warmth and let free all the despair, sobs racking violently through his body as he buried his face against Zero's side and cried at the top of his lungs, his chest heaving as he nearly choked in his own sobs, knowing the others wouldn't be able to hear him all the way outside anyway, and no longer bothering to hide his horror from himself.

He would have to carry it all alone anyway, he might as well relish the warmth of someone else's body for that short moment that he still had for himself, to try to make it less horrible.

Horrifying as the violation might have been, Kaname couldn't deny to himself that he had - at least on a purely physical level, he told himself - enjoyed a part of it.

Perhaps it was the gentler side of Zero, not yet conscious but about to resurface soon, who had taken pity in his plight and given him that pleasure to try to make the whole act less painful and less damaging for him. The pureblood's pride had taken a serious blow in the process, and he loathed the fact that he would now have to live with the knowledge that he orgasmed from his rape, but, it was also undeniably true that he wasn't sure if he would have actually survived the whole ordeal without that.

Sure, physically he would have lived- if Zero's bloodlust didn't lead him to kill the pureblood to take his power, that is - but something inside him would have broken in a way that couldn't possibly be fixed. As it was, it was badly cracked, and he wasn't sure he would ever be whole again, but that little thing really did make the difference between breaking him completely and just leaving him badly scarred. Even if he wasn't aware of it, the hunter had held in his hands the chance to destroy the pureblood, and had instead handed him the only thing that at that very moment could possibly save him from that otherwise inevitable destruction.

And for that, a small part of Kaname told him that he owed Zero – not the beast in him of course, but the gentle part of Zero, the part that tried to kill himself when he saw what his other side had done to Kaname.

Despite it being the exact same body that had violated him mercilessly, that gentle part of Zero that had somehow saved him reassured Kaname, and he curled up closer against him, sobbing more softly now, drinking in the contact like a drowning man clings to the plank that could keep him afloat, despite the huge part of him that was revulsed by the proximity and still shaken by the fact that whether or not Zero was back to his senses, this was still the same body.

He would never be able to regard the hunter quite the same way again. He had always seen him as an important piece in his plan, but one that was harmless to him. Now he knew for certain that things would never be the same anymore.

.

.

Zero groaned softly, his head aching terribly, his whole body feeling like it was filled with lead, yet strangely on same time brimming with a newfound power that sent jolts of raw energy tingling through his entire being like nothing he had ever felt before. It was as if he was reborn, filled with a strength he couldn't possibly even imagine before, and yet his whole body felt odd and sluggish as if he had been drugged.

"The spot where your bullet grazed my temple... it's still hurting."

The familiar voice automatically brought his mind to reality with an inevitable pang of annoyance. Kuran!

The pureblood was sitting on a chair a few meters in front of him, right in the hole in the wall that now joined bathroom and bedroom, and was mostly his usual composed self, other than for the fact that he was visibly annoyed by the side effects of the Bloody Rose shot, and rather covered in his own blood.

Apparently, the pureblood was too used to healing instantly to be aware of the fact that one had to take measures to stop a wound from bleeding. He simply sat there, watching the hunter, leaning his chin onto his hand in a pensive stance that had caused his wounds to bleed all over his hand and arm, drenching part of his clothes in blood without him doing anything to stop that, as if it didn't concern him. Zero stared for a second, unsure of why the sight of the irritating pureblood strangely made his chest feel tight at the moment. The weird feeling of the pure vampire blood coursing through his veins, not fully absorbed yet, tore his attention away from that perplexing idea, and Zero wrapped his arms around his own chest, shuddering with the sensation and trying to shake it off.

The pureblood raised his right hand and absentmindedly slid his fingers over the sticky mess of blood the hunter had made of the left side of his graceful neck.

"This is why I dislike anti-vampire weapons. And because of that the wounds from your bite still haven't closed."

The hunter frowned, panting from the effort of trying to absorb the overly powerful blood that had taken over his veins. It was as if there was so much power in him that his mind wasn't sure what to do with it, and his body had trouble coping with that gap.

"You bit me so brutally no less... I'm a bit annoyed."

This was pushing it. What did the pureblood think he was? Zero slammed his arm against the wall with rage, the tiles and the plaster behind giving way under his newfound strength and cracking to dust and debris before falling to the ground to join the rest of the mess. The bathroom was in a deplorable state. The hunter ran his eyes over the devastation for a moment, surprised by it, clearly not remembering that much of a mess before he passed out. He didn't remember passing out either... nothing was clear past the moment he remembered he had started drinking the pureblood's blood.

"I'm the one who should be angry... Live with it, it's not much." It was hard to speak, Zero was panting hard, almost choking in his breath, and he assumed it was a trick of his imagination that he thought he saw the pureblood sort of wince at his words. He could swear he had felt something like worry in him as well when he crushed the wall. His blood is making me insane now! How wonderful.

He wanted to lash back at the pureblood with another sarcastic remark, but decided to focus his efforts instead on getting up from where he sat in the ground in a heap.

Kaname didn't move from his chair, still leaning his weight on his blood covered hand, still bleeding all over himself without making any attempt to stop it or cover the wounds. Zero thought to himself that the other must have been watching him in that position for a while, because the blood dripping from the gunshot that grazed Kaname's temple had apparently coated his left hand so much that is was dripping down the sides of it and over his wrist down his arm. Zero didn't get a good look at it from where he was now standing, but it slightly amazed him.

That strange feeling in his chest was toying with him again, a tightening accompanied by a lump in his throat each time his eyes brushed over the pureblood's strangely vulnerable appearance, sitting in that chair covered in his own blood.

"Have you finally regained your mind...?"

Zero still panted slightly, feeling as if the fog in his mind was clearing. Was that all just the blood high from Kuran's pureblood?

Kaname continued, unfazed by Zero's lack of response. "Was my blood that unpleasant for your body to absorb? You were in a berserk state for a while, it was quite troublesome..."

The hunter's eyes scanned the room again, taking in all the claw marks and broken things.

So that's what happened? I lost my mind and destroyed the place?

He glanced quickly at the pureblood, wondering if there was more to his bloody state than simply sitting for a while bleeding all over himself.

But something inside his mind coiled suddenly in reply to the idea and quickly dismissed it, assuring him that it made no sense. Kuran was so powerful that he could squash him like a bug if he so wished. There's no way he could possibly hurt him in a serious struggle. If he had tried to lay a hand on him, the pureblood would have quickly disabled him. In fact, perhaps that was precisely why he was laying in the ground feeling so strange when he woke up. It was hard to believe he snapped into a crazed state and did nothing but trash the bathroom walls and furniture while the vampire that elicited so much anger from him so often stood right there calmly watching.

It was quite troublesome. Kuran had said so... perhaps something did happen. Whatever it was, he couldn't remember anything, and that strange something in his mind kept insisting that it was nothing but his imagination. He would try to make himself remember later however. The whole situation didn't quite feel right. But for the moment, he had to leave.

"You should try it sometime. To see the poison that your own blood is." The hunter meant it as a little comeback before leaving - in truth, he didn't want to admit it but he found Kuran's blood unexpectedly intoxicating, filling him with a delicious raw power of which he felt he couldn't get enough no matter how much he drank- but the pureblood didn't raise to the bait.

A sad tinge in his deep eyes, Kaname was strangely subdued when he explained that the Kuran bloodline was extremely pure, tracing back to the first vampires, and that was why it had the power of slowing the descent to level E.

As Zero passed by him - holding onto the wall because he didn't feel quite steady enough yet with the recently absorbed blood- the pureblood interrupted his departure for a second. "The noise from the fight and the smell of my blood have the whole dorm in an uproar. I suggest you leave through the window."

Smell? The smell of Kaname's blood was indeed everywhere in the room, a delicious, irresistible scent that almost made it painful to leave the place, overwhelming and masking any other scents.

But as he stood inches away from the pureblood, Zero couldn't help but be surprised by how clean the man smelled. More exactly, his clothes smelled clean like they had just been pulled out of a drawer, still freshly scented with lavender, something he could swear he didn't notice before, and he was much closer when he bit the pureblood's neck than now. This puzzled Zero. They were the exact same clothes than before, he could swear, or at least they looked the same, but considering that they were the white pants and black shirt from the pureblood's school uniform, it was impossible to tell whether they really were the same or new ones.

But he was soaked in blood. If he had gone as far as getting changed, surely he would have done something to not bleed all over his fresh new clothes? Unless...

Unless he didn't want Zero to know he had gotten changed.

That strange feeling coiling suddenly inside the hunter's mind happened again, and he wasn't quite sure what he was thinking about anymore. It made no sense, why would Kaname need to get changed or hide that from him? It was probably something else, or in any case, it wasn't important. Was it? Was he forgetting something?

That strange sensation bothered him, and he would have to do some more prying in his own memories later to see if he could remember anything at all that had happened.

"It's only a matter of time until they find out what you did, but... you were prepared for it anyway, weren't you?" The pureblood's voice pulled Zero's mind back from his reverie.

Sooner or later... they would find out what he did...? What?

"Oh, and also..."

The hunter stared at the pureblood, drinking in his words, expectancy painted on his eyes, waiting for what he would say next.

"The reason why I can't answer Yuuki's question is because it's for her own good."

The pureblood had a look on his face that was indefinable. With his perceptions enhanced by the blood he had drank, Zero could feel strange mixed signs emanating from Kaname, the strongest of which was a bone deep sadness that he had occasionally sensed before when the pureblood looked at Yuuki, but that he had never until now felt with such a breathtaking intensity. It had spiked when he spoke of Yuuki.

Zero was taken aback by this unexpected feeling, and for a moment, all he could do was stare at Kaname, opening his mouth but finding no words to say, until the pureblood glanced up at him, and whatever he saw in those deep eyes filled with pain, it told him to leave now, and Zero quickly moved for the bedroom window, slipping away as the first rays of dawn were filling the sky with a hopeful light that seemed strangely out of place.

Only once he felt the hunter was far away, did Kaname give in to the urge he had to curl down and wrap his arms around himself, dropping his forehead low against his knees as he felt an unbearable emptiness tear at him and threaten to make him spill new tears. Before the hunter had waken up, Kaname had altered his memories and had disguised the place, cleaning from them and from the surroundings any evidence of what had truly happened, but he hadn't had the time or the energy to do much more. He should finally take care of his wounds now, the one on his head, the one from the bullet that pierced his hand and the... more delicate ones. But he couldn't find in himself the will to move, not even to fetch a cup of water and some blood tablets that he desperately felt he needed. All he could do was rock softly against his own knees, trying to focus on something else, anything else. Anything but the hurricane inside him that threatened to tear away his very sanity.

He would have to carry it all alone.

No one could possibly know what happened, and he didn't know if he could even approach Yuuki again after what happened, much less give himself to her and return her memories as he'd so long dreamed of. The one thought that kept the darkness at bay during those ten years of pain, the one thing he would think of to muster courage to go on for so long... a brand new form of pain had stolen from him the only comforting thing he still had left.

His body shook with silent little sobs that he tried to control, desperately refusing to break down again so soon, but not yet strong enough to regain his composure.

The reason why he had dragged that chair in there and remained sitting throughout the whole time he talked to the hunter was because he could barely stand, and couldn't afford letting the other know that.

He clenched his hands against his knees, trying to wring himself out of this despair. If he had enough power to have tampered with Kiryuu's memories so soon after what happened, then he couldn't indulge in allowing himself to be so weak. He wouldn't forgive himself any weakness.

He would live, and he would go on. Regardless of how much it hurt, or whether he would have to force himself forward one step after the other, wearing a mask of fake control and indifferent composure countless times thicker than the one he wore before. He would get through this, he told himself as he held his knees with his hands so hard that his nails almost pierced the skin through the brand new pants.

He would keep moving, for her. Only for her.

His decision taken, he forced himself to get up and unsteadily walked into the room, fetching the familiar box of blood tablets and a cup from his study's cabinet.

As long as it was for her, he could endure anything. And no matter how damaged he ever got, as long as she remained safe it was all that truly mattered.

The rest was collateral. The rest didn't matter. His pain didn't matter.

But clinging to that idea didn't make the pain go away at all.

.

.

.

.

.

---

The end (?)

Muses poke me for a sequel. XD;

It's currently just an one-shot, but just in case I'll leave it as non-complete for now to see if I come up with a sequel, and if not I'll just switch it back to complete. :)

.

It figures Kaname wouldn't allow himself the weakness of skipping class right after this, especially since it might look suspicious at the eyes of both Night Class and Zero and all, but on same time, walking to school and passing the two prefects the next day would be pure agony. :S

And I don't see him being able to face Yuuki and her demand to know what happened in her past too easily, in his current state. :X