This just came to me as I was thinking about my current guy predicament. Then the plot bunny ran away from me... This is my first attempt at angsty fluff.
I'm not his type. His type is a gorgeous brunette, leggy model wanna-be type. They're never that bright, usually from Brady Bunch type families, and often seem to be in trouble with the law. He always seems to be bailing out some girl out of some situation. He's the knight in shining white armor to their damsel in distress.
I may be tall and brunette, but I am nothing like his dates. I'm way too smart for my own good, my family is easily one of the most screwed up I've ever seen, and I work in law enforcement. Besides my almost-DUI, I've been pretty much clear of any law-breaking or bending. I'm never the damsel in distress. At least not publicly, I cannot let people see me as weak. But sometimes I just want to relax and let someone rescue me.
I realized how far out of my league he was the moment I saw him. Hell, we aren't even playing the same game. My first thought when I saw him that day was how unbelievingly gorgeous he was. He swaggered in, covered in roof dust, wearing those awful brown-green pants and that butt-ugly brown shirt that was thankfully ruined that day. Who knew a guy so beautiful could have so little dress sense (not that I should talk, I just grab whatever is clean).
When he walked into the room and gave me one of his heart-stopping trademark grins, I could barely stop myself from staring. His texas drawl gave me goosebumps, but good goosebumps. And his hair was all adorable and spiky in that style I just love on him.
I always knew he was out of my reach, I resigned myself to watching him from the sidelines. To being his friend. I tried to distract myself from the seemingly tons of women marching in and out of his life by throwing myself back into my old infactuation with Dr. Gilbert Grissom. Yeah great choice, I know.
After the explosion in the lab, I realized that obsessing over another unattainable man was not the answer to my problems. So I didn't bother looking more closely at my relationship with Nick, I didn't want to admit anything just yet. I just jumped into yet another bad relationship.
Hank was…well that whole thing was just a huge debacle. I should have seen how awkward we were when I called him 'Baby' at that crime scene. Everyone just froze, and I realized we didn't fit.
Of couse I still refused to admit it. I held onto that dead horse of a relationship until the bitter end. When I found out about his fiancee it didn't hurt. It just made me see how stupid I had been not to see that he had been using me. Not that the sex had been all that great or anything, at least for me.
After that I pretty much gave up on men. I realized that getting my heart publicly trampled repeatedly wasn't helping me get over the huge crush I had on Nick. I held back from any more hurt, but I knew no one would have as much power to hurt me as Nick had.
The day Nick was kidnapped was the second worst of my life, ranking only behind the last day of my childhood. I realized that I was in love with Nick Stokes. The instant I saw him lying on the ground next to the hole, twitching from the fire ant poison was THE moment I realized that I couldn't live without him in my life.
That thought was scary to me. It terrified me. I've been completely emotionally independent since the day my father was killed. All of a sudden I'm leaning on Nick's being there just to get through the week. I knew then that I couldn't risk our friendship when he'd most certainly turn me down. So, I just buried my feelings once again.
Then a weird thing happened to me. We were on this case where the mother of the groom was murdered by three bridesmaids at a wedding. I was walking through this flowered arch walkway thing toward the guests.
For a moment I imagined myself at a wedding, my wedding, one as ornate as this one. The shocking thing wasn't just that I was imagining myself as a bride for the first time ever, but who was waiting at the end of the aisle in my dream.
It was Nick.
I'm thinking I might want to continue this, but I'm not sure. It is my first CSI fic and I want to make sure someone actually likes it. Please Review. That'd make my day.