I am kind of at an impasse with my other two stories, so I just kind of came up with this idea and started writing. The story probably won't be very long--it's a future fic with Nate and Blair, very angsty, very conflicting, that kind of thing. It's very graphic and explicit, so please don't read this if you're not of age. The title is based on the Patti Smith song (or the cover done by 10,000 Maniacs).
Rating: M, for very mature. Please, don't read this if you are not of age.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the show, not the book, not the songs.
Because the night...
Chapter One: the end of the affair
Her back bangs hard against the stainless steel refrigerator door, the cool metallic surface relieving some of the heat she feels. He pushes against her body, fondling her hair, her arms, whatever part of her he can get. Her body is once again set ablaze and her mind is dizzy.
His lips crash onto hers as he pushes her up against the door harder, rubbing her body with his as they both fight for breath. She clutches at his back, trying to increase the pressure of him on her.
This is messy, and it is fast and hot and fervent, some of the same adjectives that can describe what they have between them.
His hand slips up her skirt, hiking it all the way up to her waist revealing her tanned, toned legs. He stares straight into her eyes as she sucks a deep breath in, letting her eyes roll back into her skull. His hand grazes her mound, making her shudder against him. After all these years, he can still do this to her. After all these years, he still knows what to do.
His mouth moves to her neck, sucking softly at her taut flesh. He rips her blouse open, revealing her breasts about to overflow out of her black lace demi-bra.
Her hands move all over his chest, feeling his muscles underneath his dress shirt. She deftly unbuttons his shirt, like she has many times before but she knows this time will be different. She should go slowly, she should try to remember how this will feel, but there is little time.
His fingers find her aching clit and rub it gently through the very thin and very damp material of her panties. She grinds her pelvis against his hand, softly moaning into his ear. She avoids ever saying his name out loud; it is too much of a reminder of how wrong this is. He buries his face into her chest, smelling the mixture of sweat, sex, and vanilla. He bites into the material between her breasts, looking up at her as she bites her own chapped lips. She runs her hands over his chest feeling it rise and fall with quick and shallow breaths. She moves her hands up into his hair, pulling his face up to hers, and kissing him long and slow, feeling his tongue struggle against hers.
Only a further reminder of how it will always be a struggle with him.
He grabs her ass with both hands, squeezing it and kneading it, not breaking contact with her mouth. She moans into his lips as he paws at her body. She slips her skirt off, his hands helping to pull it off, and she stands there in her bra and panties, looking like the sexy siren she is. Her wavy locks whip across his face as she begs him to touch her. He takes a bra strap in his fingers and slips it off her shoulder. He kisses a line from her collarbone to the other bra strap and removes it with his mouth. She struggles to get out of the confines of the garment, and with one smooth stroke, he undoes the clasp and tosses it aside.
He cups her face with his hands and looks into her eyes before moving his hands down to her breasts, softly massaging them with his fingers. The suppleness of her flesh filling his palms is turning him on so much. He kisses the nape of her neck with short quick pecks. Her head tilts back as he lowers his mouth onto her nipple, sucking and licking her, taking her into his mouth. He puts his arms around her tiny waist to steady himself, as he licks a line from her breasts down her abdomen.
She stands on her tiptoes in her Christian Louboutin black patent leather peep-toe heels, stretching out, as he kisses her feet up her calves to her inner thighs. He rubs her silky, pale skin, parting her legs with his hands. She looks down at him, and licks her lips in anticipation. He slides his fingers underneath the lace material of her thong and pulls it down, revealing her hot bare skin to the air. He blows a cool stream of air onto her and she shivers, moving her hips away from him. She pulls him up and kisses his mouth, undoing his belt and slipping his pants off of his legs. He kicks them off, and pushes her up against the refrigerator once more; having the cool metal against her bare body is driving her insane. She feels him hard against her, and she brushes her hand in front of his boxers causing him to pull away in agony.
He bites on her other breast as he inserts a finger deep inside her. She arches her back giving him better access. She screams out, and he wants to hear it again and again. She digs her nails into his flesh, leaving angry marks on his back. She wants to leave a little reminder of where he is, where he has been. Maybe she will see it. She hasn't thus far. She wraps one long leg around his torso as he searches her eyes for any sort of hesitation at all. He does not break the stare. She rubs up against him as his finger slides smoothly in and out of her, methodically, rhythmically. She moves her hips in time with his finger which is moving more quickly. He inserts another finger into her as she gasps and cries out, jerking her body about. She bites his shoulder hard, drawing the tiniest prick of blood. He clasps her clit between his thumb and forefinger of his other hand and teases her as she shakes above him. He kisses her hard and knows she will be close. He is aware of all the signs by now. Her chest tightens as her pulse quickens. She lets out some whimpers as she nears her orgasm. "Oh god...please don't stop. Don't stop…I want you so bad." She plants her leg back on the ground and her legs both weaken as she comes, panting, her chest heaving up and down in his face. She bends over his shoulders, steadying herself against his strong body.
He picks her up and carries her to the bedroom. He lays her on her back and climbs over her, careful not to crush her with his weight. He blows a raspberry onto her stomach, caressing her skin in a way she knows no one else ever can. He reaches his destination and smirks at her, knowing full well what is about to happen. She parts her thighs and groans as she feels him slide his warm tongue into her. He reaches up and grabs her breast squeezing along with the beat of his tongue's strokes. He looks at the dreamy stare in her eyes, as she strokes his hair, softly massaging his scalp as he licks her slowly and deliberately, coming from the back of her slit to her clit. Her inner muscles contract against his mouth as he gingerly touches her butt and her breasts. Her legs lay over his shoulders, contracting tightly against his head as she comes again. She brushes the hair out of his eyes and flips him over onto his back.
His erection struggles against the black cotton of his boxer briefs as she gets up on all fours and kisses him long and deep, rubbing her wetness against his. He takes a breast into his mouth as she leans on her arms above him, rocking her pelvis up against his hardness. "I need you. I want to be inside you," he tells her. She only nods, he doesn't have to say anything because she already knows. She traces the lines of his body down his neck with her tongue, over his chest down to his rectus abdominalis muscles, pausing to seductively stare up at him. He knows what is coming, but she wants to tease him just that much more. She breathes hot, heavy air over his throbbing erection through the material of the boxers, and he can not wait any longer. He forces his hands into the material to try to push the undergarment off, but she stops him.
"Patience is a virtue." She winks at him, and he is sure if she doesn't take care of him right then and there, the sight of her sweaty, dripping naked body will be enough to make him explode. She flips her hair away from her face and leans down, taking an edge of his boxers into her mouth, slowly peeling them off his body. Her tongue darts out and licks him once, making his whole body quiver.
His breaths are shallow and quick. His heart feels like it will beat out of his chest. She takes him into her mouth, and he about loses it with all the warmth and wetness of her mouth on him. Her head bobs up and down on him, gently teasing him with her tongue. She licks his shaft and massages his balls in her hands, making him groan in pleasure. She wraps her hand around his shaft, moving her fingers up and down, tightly grasping him. She reaches her hand up and strokes her nails against his thigh. He places his hands on her head and gently pushes her head down. His legs start to buckle as he feels the pressure start to rise. "Stop, I'm gonna come. Stop," he pants. She leans down once more to give him a quick kiss before slithering up to meet his mouth.
She kisses his mouth and straddles his body, grinding herself against his chest. "Fuck me."
He lifts her up and positions her right above him dragging his hard-on over her slit. As he enters her, she screams out. She finds a slow rhythm as she rides him, her body rising up and down. She always likes to be on top, in control of him. He wouldn't have it any other way. He steadies her body on his with his hands on her sides, quickening her pace. Her reaches up and pinches her nipple tightly. Her entire body arches back and her eyes shut tightly. He thrusts himself deeper and deeper with every stroke. She leans down and puts her hands on his shoulders, and kisses him as he moves in and out.
She is the sullied version of his perfect girl, and he knows he's in love with her here in this moment.
He flips her onto her back and continues to wiggle himself around inside her. The colliding of his pelvis against hers sends a shock through both of their bodies at the contact. She scratches deep wounds into his back, as she clutches onto him, not letting go for anything. Her lithe legs wrap around his neck, pulling him in deeper and deeper. He pinches her clit and her ass as she murmurs, "Oh yeah, fuck me, it…feels…so…good." The pressure of his orgasm is building and he pulls out completely, then thrusts back in hard, back and forth until her screams became guttural. "Come on, baby, fuck me…fuck me harder. Harder."
"Oh fuck, Blair. Fuck. I'm getting close…fuck." She pushes him off of her, and turns around and gets on all fours, looking back at him, silently commanding him. He balances his hand on the small of her back and plunges into her. He fingers her clit fast and hard, "Oh god. Oh my god. Fuck, Nate I'm cumming, Oh fuck me, fuck me, Nate." He crashes onto top of her as he comes to the sound of her whimpers of pleasure.
They lay there for a minute, catching their collective breaths. He kisses her back several times, and bites into her flesh softly, imploring her to look back at him, but her face lays buried in the comforter. He pulls out of her, and flops onto his back.
When she finally turns around and her dark blue eyes gaze into his green ones, all he can see is the sadness. The sadness and realization that this will be the last time they'll see each other like this. She looks broken, no she is broken, but she still looks perfect to him.
She turns onto her other side, facing away from him. She holds out her hand. He takes her tiny hand in his big one, and grasps it tightly. The silence is deafening. They are both thinking the same thing. They have both known they will have to face the end at some point, but they don't want it to be right now. They don't have to think or talk about it right now. So they won't.
She lies there in the dark and her thoughts are overcome by confusion and uncertainty. Sometimes afterwards, when he is long asleep, she wonders if he makes love to her like this. If it is as fast, as frenetic, as rough as he is with her. She wonders if he goes slowly, taking his time with his girl, making sure they don't miss any touch or any withering glance. She tortures herself with these thoughts night after night when their limbs are entwined. He makes love to her like he needs her, when in reality it is just the opposite. He does not need her, he has someone else waiting for him at home.
Blair knows she is a whore, a skank, a slut. She knows that is all she will ever be because she is the other woman. But, Nate fucks her because he wants to, and sadly she will let him because she needs to know that he wants her.
She feels him slip off the bed and leave the room. She waits for a few minutes before following him out to her living room. He sits with his head in his hands; he has pulled on his boxers. She ties the belt to her short satin robe and plops herself down next to him. He looks at her, not saying anything. She hopes he won't say anything at all, then they won't have to let go.
"This was a mistake." She winces when he says this even though she knows it is the truth.
"Maybe." She tries to keep her tone even and nonchalant.
He shakes his head. "No, it was a mistake. We shouldn't have done this."
"Well, fine, it was a mistake. This is the last time," she shrugs, no use in arguing a moot point.
"What, why?" he appears genuinely distressed about this, even though he knows it is coming.
"You just said this was a mistake," she points out incredulously. He is the king of contradiction.
"Blair, I need this. I know we agreed, but we've said this is the last time since the beginning. We said this was the last time at the engagement party. We said it was the last time at the bachelor party. We said it was the last time after I went to go register for gifts with her a few weeks ago."
"Doesn't make it right. I'm sorry but you're getting married in two weeks, and I don't think sleeping with me is particularly appropriate."
"But you've thought it appropriate for the past three years."
"I can change my mind. Why do you need me anyway, you'll have a nice girl to sleep with every night for the rest of your life," she says with a hint of bitterness. He notices.
"It's complicated." He states the obvious. She knows it is. "It's your fault you know." He doesn't face her. He doesn't want to see her reaction to his inflammatory statement.
"It's my fault you're getting married?" she snickers. He always pulls this shit on her.
"It's your fault I'm not getting married to you." He stares a hole into her bare left ring finger.
She shakes her head. "No. I refuse to be your scapegoat Nate. Sorry, not this time…" she sighs. "The timing was never right."
He wants to grab her by the shoulders and scream at her, 'the timing was never right because you never let it be right!' Instead he just whispers, "We could have been happy."
"You don't know that. But now you have a chance to be truly happy with someone else. So just forget about me. Okay? Go, get married, have a bunch of kids, go to little league games, PTA meetings, father daughter days. Enjoy it. But forget about me." She stands up and retreats back into her bedroom, shutting the door forcefully behind her.
He wishes it were that simple.