Summary: During Mannfred and Ute's kidnaping attempt, something goes wrong. Is Archer missing or dead? ISIS has been closed by the government and reopened under the leadership of someone call Agent Superior. What does this mean for the ISIS crew?
Set after episode 10, season one.
Disclaimer: I do not own this or anything!
Prologue – A New Beginning
Standing outside a grotty bar in the thundering rain, Sterling Archer swayed unstably as he glared down the stairs at the bar door. Focusing his glazed over blue eyes, the Secret Agent barked, "Unh-unh! You don't 86 me! 'Cuz my dad won the navy cross! Use the door!"
He continued to stare at the door, drunkenly trembling as the rain completely drenched his clothes and hair.
Further down the street, a young red-headed woman spied the drunk brunette and smirked. Signally her older male partner, she suddenly cried out, "Help! Please, help me! My baby! He's swallowed something! He's choking!"
Barely batting an eye, Archer burped, "Uh, who gives a shit about a baby!?"
A grey-haired man suddenly appeared behind Archer and smashed him across the back of his head – knocking him out. Staring down at the unconscious brunette, he muttered, "Who would want to raise a child here…"
The red-head soon joined him and they dragged the agent to the get-away-car and promptly left the scene.
Fifteen minutes later, Archer was awake and tied down to a cold, metal table. Naked. Turning his head, he pushed the groggy alcohol haze to the back of his mind and tuned into the conversation going on in the next room.
Two people – a man and a woman – were arguing. One of them was playing with something that made a whirling sound.
Clearing his throat, the agent said, "Hey, seriously, kidnappers, super not in the mood for this right know -," the whirling sounded through the rooms again, "-or that. What is that? Is that a drill?"
In the other room, the tall grey-haired man, Mannfred, said, "Okay."
Twitching Archer moaned, "I don't want that."
Mannfred continued as if he hadn't heard the other man, "Okay, so, I make a klein hole in the skull mit this."
"You can shut that off," Archer tried to interrupt.
"Then, into the hole, I smoosh this."
Ute, the red-head, nodded.
"What is that!?"
"Und them they can control his brain," Mannfred smiled. "But is Soviet technology, so…"
Finishing his sentence, Ute said, "This is amazing, no?"
"What is amazing is we just ran into him on the street!"
"Hey!" Archer barked.
"It's a huge city," he continued, ignoring the brunette again.
"Hey, proposition!" the naked man interrupted again, "First person to untie me, guy or gal, I will let him or her give me a handy!"
The Germans reaction to this was a groan from Mannfred and a giggle from Ute.
Continuing undeterred, Archer said, "Come on, let's share the milk of human kindness!"
"What an arschhole!" the older man growled.
"Come on!"
Smiling, Mannfred drawled, "Don't worry, you time is coming."
The world was getting blurrier and harder to percept for Archer, maybe he shouldn't have had that last shot. Vaguely hearing the German, he slurred, "Wait? My time? Do you mean me? And by 'don't worry', do you mean the chicks doing the handy? And either way, can we do it without that thing?"
Mannfred buzzed the drill.
As everything darken even more and the sounds started to blur together, Archer managed to blurt out – "Hey, seriously. Give me a hanjo!" – before passing out completely.
Glancing at the agent, Ute prepared to administer the sedative. Measuring out the drug with an oversized syringe, she asked, "How much do I give him, Manny?"
"Eh." Manny was busy looking over the drill and microchip and barely heard his partner. Without much thought, he shrugged, he added, "How every much you zink we'll need."
"Kay."
Five minutes later, Mannfred checked over his prep-work before turning to Archer, who had a waxen complexion and was bear thing harshly. Frowning, he checked his pulse, "Ute, he's 'eart beat is a bit slow. 'is breathing too. How much did you give him?"
Clueless, Ute replied, "All of it."
"WHAT!? Zhat much could kill 'im!"
Pouting, the red-head cried, "But you said to give him however much I thought was needed! I didn't know so I gave him all of it."
"AH! UTE!" Mannfred quickly checked Archer over before deciding it would be better to cut their loses. "If we dump 'im somewhere, we can tell Jakov zhat we never found 'im! Come on! 'elp me, Ute!"
And, like that, the Russian due preformed a drive-by at the nearest hospital and, without slowing down, they threw Archer's body from the car. Tumbling gracelessly, the feverish man finally stopped against some industrial bins; to the back of the hospital.
Four hours later, the body of a 36 year old Caucasian was found slumped outside a hospital, near dead. After an exhausted attempt to save the man's life, he was pronounced dead an hour later. After some investigation done by the Hospital, it was found that the body was of Sterling Mallory Archer. Listed as a Government employee, the Hospital contacted the appropriate Department and informed them they believed Mr. Archer's death was a suspected poisoning.
Not an hour later, the American Government collected Archer's body and temporarily shut down the International Secret Intelligence Service, otherwise known as ISIS, and began a thorough investigation of the Agency and it's CEO, Mallory Archer.
The next morning, Lana Kane arrived late to work.
Slightly out of breath, she stopped short upon seeing her fellow workmates Cyril Figgis, Cheryl Gimple, Pam Poovey and Ray Gilette all standing outside ISIS Headquarters. Stopping next to Cyril, her current boyfriend, Lana said, "Hey, guys. What's going on? Pam? Mallory change the locks again?"
As she took in their varied expressions and their dismissal of her, the Black Ops Agent followed their gaze and found them on a small note pinned up in the Wash 'N' Fold's window – which was completely closed for some reason. Moving closer, Lana slowly read the note.
"ATTENTION!
THIS RESIDENCE HAS BEEN CLOSED BY THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT
IT WILL REMAIN CLOSED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE
ALL EMPLOYEES WILL BE CONTACT AT A LATER DATE REGARDING THEIR JOBS"
"What the hell!?"
"Yep. What the hell indeed," Ray whispered.
"W-what do we do?" Pam asked, her face stark white.
"Go home."
At Cyril's oddly blank voice the others turned to him.
He was looking at the note with such sadness and distraught. "We can't do anything but go home for now."
Frowning, Lana barked, "But what could have happened!?"
Huffing, Pam cried, "Maybe we should be asking, what has Mallory done to warrant the attention of the Government…"
END OF PROLOGUE