CAMP CRONAN ZYKE

The world seems darker when you're alone. That's why we cling to people. But I don't need the world. Or him. Or you. All I need is me. And maybe the wine in the fridge

"Mrs. Coyne."

I definitely don't need this man who says he wants to help me. I don't need help. I don't want help. Why can't anybody seem to understand that?

"Mrs. Coyne."

Somehow this man thinks that the reason I'm ignoring him has to do with the volume of his voice. This just proves how stupid people are. The stupidity seems to intensify with age.

"Fiona."

I take a deep breath and glare openly at the man staring down at me. His jaw is clenched and his face is red and I momentarily wonder if he might explode. It wouldn't matter much to me but I don't know if my diary, or dress, is blood-proof.

"Fiona no matter how long you glare at me I won't go away."

He's an idiot. I wonder if he knows that. I wonder if he knows that I can sit here, and glare at him all day without saying a word. Always without saying a word.

"Fiona…"

I can't believe this. The man pities me. He's staring at me as if I'm the hopeless one. Does he not understand that he's a hopeless idiot?

Without a word I get up from the bench and stride confidently to the car. i stand at the door for a few moments before giving him yet another glare. Was he so stupid that he can't even perform his insignificant job?

He smiles suddenly and quickly opens the door for me. I scowl as I sit in the backseat, diary in hand.

"Thank you Mrs. Coyne. I promise you that you will have the greatest time at camp."

Camp. Even the word is disgusting and inferior.

"I hate you." The words vibrate through the practically silent car and my mother flinches. The pain that flashes across her face comforts me. She falters and breathes deeply as she tries to regain composure.

"Gracie…" she whispers as her face restores to its usual stony state. I clench my jaw angrily but stare straight ahead. There no use in getting angry. I've tried getting angry. I've thrown plates at the walls and beat people to bloody pulps and she's still bringing me here.

"Stop calling me that." She's a monster. You can't reason with her. You can't talk to her. You need to slay her. Before she bites your head off. If only I listened to my own advice.

"That's your name!" I hate how sad she looks. Am I supposed to feel sorry for the dragon? Am I supposed to say 'yeah I'll let you torch me Mrs. Dragon I'll just sit here and take it like the little spineless bitch that I am'. The day that that happens is the day when pigs sore through the sky.

"Like hell it is!"

"As a matter of fact it is! It's what's on your birth certificate."

"Well I didn't have much of a choice what went on there now did I?"

"And you still don't have that choice now." She said resolutely. I clench my jaw and can feel the growl rising from the back of my throat.

"When did you become such a bitch?"

She just stares at me for a minute. Not telling me to watch my language or yelling at me. just staring. She opens her mouth and I'm expecting something deep. Some kind of breakthrough about this all being about my dad's death. But of course not.

"When did you become a crossdresser?" she growls as she turns back to looking at the rode. My jaw aches as I grind my teeth.

"I'm not a fucking-"

It's brown. It's big. It's not even symmetrical, it's just pure freaking chaos. But…I can't touch it. I'm trying to prove a point. I can't touch it. If I touch it then-

Before I can stop myself my finger reach for the WetOnes and I'm scrubbing away at the stain on the seat. But it's not coming out. It's still there! No matter how much I scrub it will never be perfect. It will always be there. I can never change a thing. I'm so useless. Maybe if I scrub harder-

"Clare…"

I freeze. Right now I'm perfect. A perfect statue a perfect picture. I'm not even breathing. To the outside world I am completely flawless. If I never breathe again I can just stay this way. Forever.

"Clare!"

My mother slaps me on the back. Hard. I cough and choke and I'm no longer perfect. How could I have been so foolish to think it would last? And there's the stain. Such an unsightly thing. Maybe if I scrub harder…

"Clare, stop!"

"It won't come out…but I'm trying so hard…why won't it come out!"

"Sweetheart, drive faster!"

"I'm driving as fast as I can Claudia!"

"Don't worry Clare Bear we're going to get you help. That's what this camp is for!"

"I DON'T NEED TO GO TO FREAKING CRAZY CAMP, YOU UNDERS-"

"…I want to get help."

"I know Eli."

"I really do!"

"I know Eli!"

"But…why camp?"

"Cause its cheap."

"…Wow Mom thanks for the great of care for my mental health, I mean only the best and most expensive for your son right?"

"Eli I'm kidding!"

"…"

"Okay so I'm not. But I still want you to have the best help there is! That help just has to be out of the small range of help we can afford."

"God I feel loved."

"Eli!"

"Are the doctors there even doctors or am I going to some shady place?"

"For your information they are certified part time counselors!"

"Oh God."

"This is the best we could do Eli!"

" oh really? Cause if you were doing the best you could, I don't think that you and Dad would have bought those front row tickets to Rockapolosa last month. Or that signed copy of 'How to Get Your Rocking Mojo Back'. I'm not stupid Mom. I know you and Dad care but don't really care about my problem."

"…"

"…"

" Eli, baby, is it really a problem? All teenage boys are messy, its common!"

" Mom, I have McDonalds containers from 2008."

" so your gross. We can all deal with athat!"

"Mom, if you won't acknowledge the fact that I have a problem how the heck am I supposed to?"

"…Your right baby. I'm sorry."

"…"

"…"

"So… does this camp…have Wi-Fi?"

okay i'm pretty peeved off because the words in camp Cronan Zyke looked way more awesome in my MS word doc. letter were colored and crossed out and Fiona's diary writing actually was in this cool Bradley Hand font and it actually looked like my writing so it was awesome but as you can see ruined it. None of the people going to camp no each other yet and I will introduce some more people that are going next chapter. If you have a particular pairing that you ship please feel free to comment. I'll put in some of the pone with the most votes. BTW I'm only putting in people form season 9, 10, and 11. Please review.

CRAZY