Disclaimer: I own nothing... yada yada yada... I make no money... blah, blah, blah.

Author's Note: Because if I DID make money I'd throw any shite on the screen every day of my life!!! By the way, this isn't a HG/SS fic really... at least I don't think it will be.

I've put my other story Blackmail On Snape on hold for a while. Don't worry to those who are actually reading it because I haven't stopped it all together. If you send me reviews on it I will hurry up. P. S. I need ideas for Blackmail On Snape! I can't believe I got 47 reviews for 'A Washing Room Drama". You guys rock!

Yes, Portugal, Severus!

Chapter 1: You're Going!

"Come now, Severus. I'm sure you can spare four or five weeks from your work. It will, after all, be the summer holidays!" Dumbledore stated.

"No!"

"Please?"

"No!"

"Please?"

"No!"

"Ple-"

"Bloody hell, Albus. I fucking said NO!!!" Snape roared.

"No need to be rude about it. I was just asking," Dumbledore said unfazed by Snape's outburst.

"No need to be rude? No need to..." Snape growled in annoyance. He was fuming.

"Come on. I don't want to go up there all alone!"

"Then get Granger to go with you!"

"I can't. That's one professor you can't get hold of," Dumbledore stated.

Snape just kept walking towards his dungeons. "Look, Albus. I don't mean to be rude but - BUGGER OFF!!!"

"Look. I have a wager for you-"

"Wages?" Snape looked a bit happier... well more willing to listen anyway.

"No. A wager."

Snape frowned even more, if that's possible, and started walking again.

"I'll increase your wages if you participate."

Snape thought for a bit "By how much?"

"Five percent!"

"Eight and we have a deal!"

"Done. Get your oven gloves ready!" Dumbeldore stated.

"Oven gloves?" Snape enquired.

"Yes. We're going to have a bake-off," he said, he twinkling blue eyes practically dancing.

Snape raised an eyebrow. "A what?" he laughed sarcastically.

"A bake-off. You know... We both bake something and see who's is better!"

"If I do, will you leave me alone?"

"Yes!"

"And give me my eighty percent rise?"

"Nice try. I said eight and that's all you're getting!"

"It was worth a try! Fine, what are the terms of this wager?"

"I you win I leave you alone about Portugal. If I win you have to go to Portugal for the summer! Minerva will judge."

"And I get my rise either way?"

"Yes, you will still get your rise when you lose!"

Snape glared at him for the choice of words but agreed on the terms.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

So both Snape and Dumbledore were baking their cakes later that day. What Snape didn't know was that his conniving Headmaster was cheating. Every time Snape had his back turned Albus (I'm just going to call him Albus because it's shorter then 'Dumbledore') would pour salt into the Potion Master's mixture.

And what Albus DID know was that Snape wasn't cheating at all. And so came the time for McGonagall to test their cakes.

"So, Minerva. What do you think?" Albus asked.

"Albus... mmm... your cake is delicious. You'll need a great cake to beat this one, Severus. Then again, yours are always a treat."

"Why thank you, Minerva."

She raised a piece to her mouth. The two men looked at her expectantly.

"Well?" Snape asked.

"It's very..."

"What?"

"Salty," she answered.

"What?" Snape went over to taste his cake. As soon as it was in his mouth, he spat it back out. "I don't understand... I only used a pinch of salt."

Neither Snape or McGonagall could see the smile on Albus's face.

Okay. I know where this is going and I have already started typing chapter two. Yay me. It HAS a plot. Hermione will be in the next chapter.

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