I do not own Naruto, nor do I make any money from writing this fic. All characters are the property of Kishimoto and Viz. In fact, I often wonder if Kishi and Viz own me. Stupid Naruto series.

Author's Note: This deviates a little from the story because I wrote it before some of the more recent chapters. I hope you all like it. There will be a second chapter up later this week. And does anyone know why the stupid visual breaks aren't working? I had to add stupid "-xxx-" things in order to make visual breaks. sigh This place is frustrating at times.

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"Slut."

It was worse, because no one in the entire bar had the balls to say it to his face, they only whispered it behind his back. Slut was the most common, but sometimes it was accompanied with other words like "whore," or hyphenated into things like "cock-slut." Sasuke hated those words, hated the implications and assumptions that came along with them.

It wasn't like these men were complaining when it was their dick in Sasuke's mouth or buried deep inside of him. Then Sasuke was just a fuck, "slut," came later. If he wasn't on such a stringent probation with the village, and would be for the next three years, Sasuke would have taught those weak, asshole shinobi a thing or two with his fists.

"At least he's a tight little slut, and knows how to ride a cock like a pro," one of the greasier men in the corner of the bar cackled. Sasuke wished again that there were more gay men to choose from in this god-forsaken, quiet village, because if there were then he wouldn't have to keep crawling back to these domineering jerks who took advantage of him. Sasuke wasn't blind, and he certainly wasn't stupid. He was just extraordinarily screwed up. At least he was when it came to sex, but not necessarily in every aspect of his life. After returning home Sasuke was given a surprisingly minimal sentence for running off and becoming a missing-nin. Of course, he nearly had to sign away his life to the village in order to get such a lenient punishment.

Slamming his glass onto the bar's wooden countertop, a nonverbal warning to those talking badly about him, Sasuke remembered why he was here: to drink, to fuck, and to forget the twenty screaming brats who he was trying to teach at the academy. It had been five whole years since his return to Konoha, and freedom (so the elders called it) had its price. Sasuke spent two years in lock down, working on papers and research for the village in confined living quarters. It was almost a jail cell, but seemed more reminiscent of a tiny apartment, but with guards and locks, and under no circumstances could he leave his quarters unsupervised. He worked while his guards and the elders spent their time observing him, making sure that he was sincere in his desire to return to leaf.

Then came re-education. This consisted of a year of what could possibly be misconstrued for brainwashing, but it was just how they beat information back into Sasuke. There wasn't a single paragraph of the shinobi code of conduct that he couldn't recite word for word if asked; or better yet, the fifty or so extended volumes of study and theses on those codes. Then the elders thought that for the next five years following his education, Sasuke should be on probation, unable to leave the village. Not even war was a reasonable excuse for the great Sasuke Uchiha to be free of Konoha's walls, so he was given another task. Five years of hell. Five years of screaming brats who were proof that he was going to be a terrible father. Screw reviving his clan, there was no way he was going to spawn one of those demon children and keep it for himself. Unfortunately for Sasuke, the council wanted his bloodline limit, and badly, so they gave him the ultimatum to find a wife soon or they would choose one for him.

So really, if he was going to be forced into some arranged marriage from hell, producing as many brats as his loins could manage, couldn't the men who fucked him just shut up and let him whore it out a little bit without the unnecessary dissertation on his lax lifestyle choices? Was that really too much to ask? All these pricks had to do was screw him fast and hard and make him forget all the horrible shit life had dealt him for one measly night. Not even a night, because Sasuke had to be home in the Uchiha manor by ten in in accordance with his probation's curfew, so they only had to put up with him for a couple of hours. Sasuke would even settle for a quick bathroom stall fuck.

"Ungrateful assholes," Sasuke muttered into his drink.

He'd pondered his situation and his attitudes toward the people he slept with time and time again, so it wasn't anything new, but he began to think about them for the umpteenth time. Itachi, who he loved, murdered his entire clan, so Sasuke wasn't too keen on the love thing. It didn't hold much weight with him. Orochimaru had convinced him that by allowing a bit more than the normal student-mentor relationship between them that the snake-sannin would teach him greater jutsu to help him defeat Itachi. Sasuke got molested and lied to in that situation. The people that he trusted in Konoha…well, there were three people who made his misery a little less intolerable. They took the edge off of all the crap he was going through.

Kakashi and Naruto knew a bit about his little rendezvous to the bar he was in now. It was seedy, but its patrons hid their activities well. Sasuke decided that he would keep Kakashi and Naruto in the dark about the details that occurred behind the establishment's closed doors. His male friends had luckily kept the secret from Sakura, who would have immediately disapproved of what he was doing and tried to help or intervene. But Sasuke didn't want help. He didn't want anything more than to just let himself get plastered, ignore every feeling that he'd ever buried deep in his heart, and let more people take advantage of him. Okay, maybe Sasuke was stupid, but he wasn't naïve. He knew what he was doing every time. He knew how it hurt him, how it took pieces of his heart and ruined them forever. Perhaps, he mused, he really did want to be destroyed by this stupid village, but what recompense can really be found if some guy just uses you for sexual gratification? None, Sasuke decided bitterly.

A shinobi with a battlefield of scars littering his right cheek and a fresh, deep cut sutured up along his chin walked up to the Uchiha heir and stroked his cheek. "Looks like I'm the lucky one tonight, you prissy brat. Come suck me off in the back, and maybe, maybe I'll let you ride me till you scream. You're always such a fuckin' screamer, Sasuke."

Sasuke had been with this particular man on several occasions. The prick's skills in bed were atrocious. Sasuke swore this man had two speeds of fucking; on and off. Not a good "on" either, just short, shallow thrusts which were badly timed and too quick to make Sasuke feel any kind of enjoyment during their coupling. The short of it was that this guy was horrible in bed, and sadly that was what Sasuke wanted. He didn't want to derive pleasure from the couplings he pursued, even though he often did. Too bad it was usually a sick kind of satisfaction, something that made him feel horrible for liking.

Sasuke wanted to say he'd pass, but that dark, demented side of him—the one that only came out when he was here in this bar, letting loose of all the good-intentions and mending he was trying to make—told him that a fuck was a fuck, so get down on your knees. Sasuke decided to do just that, in the bar, in front of the rest of the patrons. It wasn't the first time that he was going to give these slimeballs a chance to live out their voyeuristic fantasies, but it was a rather rare occurrence as well.

Sasuke put down his drink, hopped off his barstool, and got on his knees. It was an invitation, and it was accepted almost immediately. "That's right," the man growled harshly, "Cock-slut is gonna give us all a good show." This guy was the first person to ever say that to Sasuke's face. "Open up, whore, swallow me whole."

Sasuke cringed as the other man positioned himself and the young Uchiha closed his eyes, biting back the humiliation brewing in his stomach. It was a biting pain that tore at his heart and made his entire self ache. This is what the great Sasuke Uchiha had become. He was a dog on Konoha's leash, and he allowed himself to be abused constantly by people. He could only keep up his image and be a perfect shinobi for so long. Sasuke had to let out all the crap inside of him somehow, and he chose to do it here.

A table crashed in the back of the bar, close to the door. Before Sasuke could even open his eyes to see who was causing the commotion, the guy hovering above him with his dick hanging out of his pants toppled to the ground. "You fuckin' bastard! Don't you ever treat Sasuke like that!"

The man who had apparently started a fight in the name of Sasuke's honor was someone that the Uchiha had never seen before in his life. He had dusky, brown hair and green eyes, and the man's skin was nearly as pale as his own. Then Sasuke realized it, the guy was in henge, because he could almost taste the crackle of familiar chakra in the air. A guy in a hooded cloak was suddenly holding the henged-Naruto back, who hastily broke free and threw another punch at his target. A rustle could be heard faintly, and Sasuke recognized the coppery scent of the Kazekage's sand. It snaked around Naruto's wrists and held him back.

"Stop it," Gaara hissed to his disguised friend. He too was in henge, but Sasuke recognized the man Gaara was pretending to be. Gaara glanced over at Sasuke with fake charcoal eyes. They weren't lined in black, but they were framed by tufts of medium length, white-blond hair, and a piercing in his eyebrow. This henged-Gaara was an irregular frequenter of this establishment. Sasuke was sure it was Gaara who tipped Naruto off, and both of them had probably been spying on him for most of the night. They were the only two in the bar not talking about him behind his back, so Sasuke should have known something was up.

Naruto was calming a bit, but he still leaned down and grabbed the scarred shinobi by a handful of his grey hair, growling in disgust as he laid out a very clear warning. "None of you will ever treat my friend like that again, understand? If you do, I'll kill you."

Just as angrily as he had treated Sasuke's aggressor, Naruto turned and grabbed Sasuke up by the arm, dragging him out of the bar as quickly as he could, Gaara traveling quickly behind them.

Once outside and a few blocks away, Naruto let his henge reverse itself, blond hair and blue eyes flickering and fading back into place. Sasuke watched him silently, so Naruto took the opportunity to fully let loose his rage. "What in the fuck were you doing back there, Sasuke?"

Sasuke scoffed and shrugged away the hand that Naruto still had clasped on his upper arm. "You know what I do. You know why I went there."

"No! I knew you were gay and I even knew you went to a seedy gay bar with a bad reputation. I didn't think you let people use you!" Naruto was nearly flabbergasted at this point. "You are Sasuke-fucking-Uchiha! People don't use you like that or call you cock-slut! Shit like that doesn't happen!"

There was venom in Sasuke's eyes as Naruto yelled at and lectured him, but even the scathing look wasn't enough to shut Naruto up. For that, Sasuke would have to speak up.

"I suppose that some of us aren't as perfect as others. Maybe I like that kind of stuff," Sasuke told his friend flatly, his voice cold and unwavering.

Naruto could only stare incredulously at his former teammate and friend. No, Naruto knew better than that. Sasuke didn't like that kind of stuff, he could see it in Sasuke's dark, pained eyes. "So what…is this punishment? What Sasuke?" Naruto whispered, relaying his hand on Sasuke's arm, but this time it was gentle and reassuring.

Naruto's encouragement hurt worse than any of the men who had used him. The fact that the blond idiot had pretty much nailed Sasuke's problem right on the head troubled the Uchiha even more. Shrugging away the hand, Sasuke turned on his heel and started walking away, but Naruto's hand found purchase upon him one more time, gripping hard the white cotton of Sasuke's shirt.

"Let me go, dobe, I have to be getting home or the ANBU will be hunting down my ass when I'm not back by curfew."

Naruto quickly countered with, "Come on, Sasuke, you and I need to talk about this."

"No, I don't."

That was the end of the discussion. In a flicker Sasuke was gone and Naruto was left with Gaara in an empty alley. Naruto stood shocked for a moment, staring at the place Sasuke had been only seconds earlier. After recovering, the true blond kicked a trashcan in frustration and growled as he pounded a fist against one of the building's brick walls. The henged-blond watched silently as Naruto let loose some of his anger on inanimate objects.

"Why didn't he come to me for help?" Naruto whined to no one in particular.

The question hadn't been directed at Gaara, but he certainly could answer it. "Naruto," the kage murmured quietly, trying to placate his friend with his soft-spoken voice, "People like Sasuke…people like me…we don't always want help. Sometimes it feels better when you hurt."

Naruto huffed and stared at the ground. "That doesn't make any sense, Gaara."

"Not to you," the kage said as he walked away. Gaara had someone that he had to speak with before returning to Suna, someone who might need a little advice about the consequences of his self-destructive actions.

Sasuke stood and stared at his door for what seemed like forever. It was almost ten, but for the second time in his life he felt like fleeing Konoha. The first time it had been out of some pathetic need for power, but now…now it was to escape everything he had accomplished. Sasuke had killed Orochimaru, hunted down his brother and avenged his clan, and returned to Konoha to make amends. His image, in most people's eyes, was that of a person who had made a few little mistakes in his life, and had done the honorable thing and paid his debt to society. Sasuke was once again looked up to by the people of his village, and the Uchiha clan was to be reborn by him. How could Sasuke admit to all those who admired him and his strength that he was a coward? That he didn't deserve an ounce of their gratitude or respect.

"Nine-fifty-eight…almost ten," a familiar voice called from down the empty path leading into the Uchiha complex. "I think you told Naruto that you had to be inside by ten. So why is it, Sasuke, that I find you here on your own doorstep?"

Sasuke eyed Gaara cautiously. The kage had removed his henge, so it was the familiar, short, lithe frame of the redheaded sand-nin that stood before him. Gaara's eyes were back to their regular aqua shade, their luminescence almost haunting in the dusk of late evening.

"You'll have to forgive me, Kazekage-sama," Sasuke answered respectfully of the man in front of him, though it wasn't heartfelt, just more of the good-Sasuke act which he used most of the time, "I didn't expect a visitor like you at this hour."

"Who would you have expected?" Gaara asked, cocking his head to the side knowingly. There was only one person that Sasuke was prepared to see again tonight, but the hot-headed blond was strangely absent from Gaara's side.

"No one, Kazekage-sa…"

"Cut the bullshit act," Gaara growled warningly, "I don't need your mock-respect, so don't spit it in my face."

Sasuke's face was stony and unmoving until he was reprimanded by Gaara, then there was a tiny slip, and the young man's haughty nature peaked through as he squinted menacingly at the Suna leader for a split second. Gaara saw the storm brewing beneath Sasuke's surface, it was so familiar to him, because the kage was intimately acquainted with the tumultuous inner workings of someone as screwed up as Sasuke.

Gaara didn't say another word to the dark-haired young man he'd helped save tonight, instead he motioned toward the door and waited for Sasuke to open it. A long sigh drew itself from Sasuke's lips. It appeared that no matter what he did, he was resigned to this fate with Gaara and whatever he was planning. Knowing the white-blond, coal eyed, pierced alter-ego of Gaara's, Sasuke was probably in for a hard fucking. Sasuke had actually caught Gaara in the act, screwing some hapless man in the bathroom of the bar a few months back, but then again, Sasuke had caught many a men doing such things there. Normally, Sasuke would be quite pleased to have that particular blond man topping him, but knowing that Naruto was aware of everything about his hidden life made Sasuke's satisfaction bitter and his stomach churn with discontent.

Still, Sasuke obediently followed Gaara into the household's entryway, then further into the house. It was quiet and dark, and part of Sasuke reeled wildly at the idea of having Gaara press him against a wall and dominate him, despite how such thoughts also made Sasuke feel ill. Even in his unhenged form, Gaara was a beautiful man; his tranquil nature as he had aged was attractive, even to the part of Sasuke which revolted against the atrocious self-abuses that he so frequently suffered through. Long robes fluttered behind Gaara as his quick steps led him in search of Sasuke's sitting room. Sasuke's eyes watched as Gaara seated himself in one of the chairs, then pointed at another. That one was apparently where he wanted Sasuke to sit.

Sasuke's head was churning a thousand different thoughts, everything from how he wished Gaara would leave immediately, to how he wished Gaara's cock would part his pale, moist lips and sink deep into the back of his throat. His stare was fierce, and the kage took note of this as he cleared his throat and eyed Sasuke suspiciously.

"Don't dishonor him more."

Sasuke swallowed hard. "What?" was the only word which escaped in his mind's confused state.

Gaara leaned forward in his seat, his powerful, dominating gaze forcing Sasuke to look away from the harsh glare. Gaara had played this sick game that Sasuke was toying with for far longer than the Uchiha. To fuck, be fucked; use, be used; not love or be loved…it had been such a cornerstone of his existence as Gaara grasped for some kind of normalcy in life. Even with all the changes and every good deed he had done in the name of reconciliation, part of Gaara was forever damaged. It had been ingrained in him since he was a baby, so unlike the Uchiha, who was relatively new to this form of self-loathing, Gaara couldn't tear himself away from his screwed up lifestyle.

"Naruto cares about you." Gaara then repeated his earlier command, "Don't dishonor him anymore. Making yourself feel pain isn't deserved or karma or anything of that sort. You need to deal with what is hurting you, because Naruto doesn't deserve the pain you are causing him."

Sasuke was stunned, how was any of this about Naruto? Did Naruto even have the right to be pained by this? And why, when Gaara told him about Naruto, did Sasuke's heart clench? Taking in a stuttering breath, shaking angrily, Sasuke grit his teeth before saying, "Fuck off."

"There's the arrogant Uchiha pride we have all grown to know," Gaara said, his voice even and quiet. "Now take that and throw it away. You think it is easy for Naruto to watch people destroy themselves? Or hurt themselves intentionally? Naruto would do anything he could to save a friend…to save someone he loved."

Sasuke's face softened, because it was well-protected, but he could tell that Gaara's words came from some knowing place. Part of Sasuke felt akin to Gaara, and the rest of him wanted to kick the ever-living crap out of the redhead from the pure essence of jealousy.

Sasuke wouldn't have that chance, because Gaara stood and walked to the doorway of the sitting room. Stopping, but not looking back, Gaara imparted one last bit of advice. "Don't become the person I am. Naruto doesn't deserve that from both of us." With those words the Kazekage was gone in a flurry of sand and Sasuke was once again alone with his thoughts.

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Sasuke had gone to bed late. It was a warm summer night, and despite the slight breeze coming through the open window in his room, Sasuke's bed felt stifling and the air was thick and musty. He felt trapped again, because nothing seemed to free him from the pain bottling up inside. There was no outlet for it, and it was accumulating quickly in his heart. Somewhere between one and two, Sasuke closed his eyes and drifted into a dreamless slumber. At three in the morning he awoke to a creak of a floorboard, and a familiar feeling of having someone's weight sink into the bed with him. More than a few men had the privilege of being in this bed with Sasuke, but none of them stayed. Those men just came for the fucking, then they left.

It wasn't any of those people though, because there was that familiar chakra again. Naruto didn't say a word, he just laid down behind Sasuke and drew the Uchiha into his arms, holding him tightly. Sasuke tried to breath, but it was so difficult. The fact that Naruto was beside him, holding him, was becoming overwhelming for Sasuke. The reasons were many, but the main ones were that Sasuke didn't want to involve his rival...no, his best friend, in his lifestyle, nor did he want to ruin their friendship with his brokenness; but most of all, Sasuke didn't want Naruto to know.

Sasuke finally managed to take in a long breath. He could smell Naruto's familiar scent. It was warm and earthy, and a bit of sweat mingled in it. Naruto didn't ever relent from training these days. Naruto trained nearly everywhere he went. And those arms…those amazing, strong arms that were holding him so securely. It was the best and the worst feeling that Sasuke had ever experienced.

A million questions raced through Sasuke's head, but of course the only thing that decided to roll off his tongue was his commonplace, sarcastic commentary. "Your boyfriend came to see me tonight."

Sasuke could feel the puff of warm breath on his neck as Naruto replied with a quiet, "Huh?"

"Gaara," Sasuke offered, "You know, the guy you were in the gay bar with. The Kazekage."

Naruto chuckled. "Sasuke, Gaara doesn't do boyfriends. Besides, you know I'm…" and the blond let his words die off.

Straight? Sasuke finished for his friend in his head. Yeah, that seemed a bit suspicious seeing that Naruto was in his bedroom holding him. Sasuke tried to bite his tongue, but he felt vulnerable, and therefore went on the offensive. "What in the hell are you doing here?"

"You needed a friend, and we need to talk."

No, Sasuke didn't need any of this. He might need a good fucking, some hard liquor, and maybe a vacation from the academy, but Sasuke didn't need Naruto holding him tightly and whispering kind assurances or whatever crap the idiot had planned. Sasuke didn't do kindness, or warm and fuzzy, and he definitely didn't do cuddle-time.

"Let me go."

"Talk with me then."

Sasuke glowered at the wall in front of him, wishing that he could turn in Naruto's arms and give that look to his dumbass friend. Sasuke wouldn't do that though, because being in Naruto's arms while facing Naruto…that would be an even worse situation than the one he was already in. One arm was slung around Sasuke's waist, the other a bit higher, running along the length of Sasuke's arm. The higher arm shifted a bit, and suddenly a hand was twining with his own, Naruto's thumb gently caressing the top of Sasuke's hand. It felt so good. The tiniest gesture and Sasuke melted, especially because it was Naruto.

"Please don't," Sasuke whispered.

"Don't what?" Naruto asked, but it wasn't a question, at least it didn't sound like one. Sasuke realized quickly that Naruto knew exactly what he was doing.

"So are you here to fuck me? Because if that's the case, I don't like romance," Sasuke told his friend gruffly. Romance, love, relationships; Sasuke didn't need any of these, and he certainly didn't want to be given them by someone that he actually gave a shit about. It made it too hard to turn them away. Perhaps that was because in all honesty, he did want them. Sasuke wanted Naruto hold him, and stroke his hand, and let him know that life was going to be all right. Deep down Sasuke desired for someone to notice just how broken he was and try to fix it. That scared the Uchiha to death, so he just kept coming up with snippy things to say and sarcastic words to throw at Naruto.

Naruto stayed silent. He didn't like Sasuke's accusations, but he could see right through them too. The Uchiha's words were harsh, but Sasuke fingers were locked around his, gripping Naruto tightly like he didn't want to let go. Further, the longer they laid together, Naruto noticed how Sasuke kept pressing back against his chest, molding their bodies closely together. Sasuke wanted this, the one thing Naruto believed Sasuke to not want was to be fucked and used. Naruto decided long before slipping into the bed that he would only hold and reassure Sasuke.

There was an angry sigh which escaped Sasuke, then he tried to start another argument. "So you're straight, right?"

Naruto cringed. He remembered the night a year or so ago when he'd first found out that Sasuke was gay. He'd been really disturbed by that back then, and even went as far as to call his friend a fag. Naruto wondered for a moment if all this might have been his fault. By pushing Sasuke away, perhaps the other man felt like he had no other place to turn to than that stupid bar with those fucking bastards. Naruto had since apologized for his inappropriate name-calling, but the damage was done.

"You can't be doing this and be fucking straight," Sasuke hissed.

"I am."

Naruto knew it was a lie, and he was sure Sasuke knew it too. To put it accurately, Naruto was confused.

"Then why are you here?"

"Cause…" There was no good answer Naruto could come up with. "You need me, Sasuke."

Naruto heard the soft snort that Sasuke made, which was promptly followed by a curt, "Fuck off."

Naruto's reply was to simply hold Sasuke tighter. It wasn't about being straight or gay or any of that crap. It was about Sasuke needing him and him being here. It was about Naruto's friend being in pain and someone actually giving a fuck about it. Sasuke was his best friend, and Naruto had crossed half the damn world to drag his ass home, so there was no way that he would let some stupid emotional distance separate them again.

"Go to sleep, Sasuke. If you aren't going to talk to me tonight, then just shut up and sleep."

"Fuck off!" Sasuke said louder this time. He wriggled in Naruto's arms and tried desperately to escape them. It was to no avail, Naruto was determined, and Sasuke didn't have the heart to put up a real fight. Sasuke might have appeared to be giving it his all, but if he had been, he would have been relinquished of Naruto's kind torture immediately.

"Fuck…off," Sasuke gritted out, then repeated in a mere whisper, "Fuck off."

The last thing Sasuke remembered before he drifted off to sleep was Naruto lightly kissing the back of his neck and then snuggling closer to him.