AN: This is a pretty wordy…but my only excuse is…it's Vegeta.
What she doesn't know…
She didn't know it, but I was watching her. Floating effortlessly in the sky, I had a bird's-eye view of both of them. I felt like some sort of sentinel, hovering nearby. I was no longer just me anymore. How could I be? Yes, I had tried to stay alone. But she was a memory in my head now, and she would be tickling my mind from now on, because she was different.
The woman stood out from my other thoughts. Amongst the cruelty and the malice, she remained untouched. She was like a solitary white tower, firm against the blackness around her. She gleamed subtly through the blood-stained fog. Yes, she was subtle. It was hard to believe, but she had never been forceful with me. Her friends teased her and acted like she had captured me, but I wore no chains. That was the beauty of her. We had drawn what we needed from each other and I wasn't obligated to do anything else. Not even the fact that we had a son together changed that.
With Bulma, I had the freedom to be what I wanted. And I would have it no other way with a woman. In fact, this was the reason why she was my first and last. I didn't want to invest myself in a woman before I met her. But like I said, Bulma was different.
I watched her with our son, and my stomach clenched as I remembered…
I had never felt as far away from myself as I had felt that night. I was like the moon is when it's new. Dark and difficult to comprehend, but Bulma managed to coax a tiny sliver of light from me. I had been so nervous, but she would never know that.
From a young age I learned to master my emotions, never letting them get the better of me. Only with the throes of death had I let loose the floodgate. It was such a painful final experience that when I was resurrected mere hours afterwards, I was almost mortified when I remembered what I had done.
On that first night with Bulma I bared my soul in a more subtle way, but she understood. No one would know to look at us, but there is a connection that runs deep inside. If this wasn't true, I would never have given my body to her. You see, my body is my most treasured possession. It is the only thing I own that no one can take away. It is what I have to live for; my very own work of art, sculpted with power and dedication. For me to wrap it around the body of another, to be inside of her… Even my opponents on the battlefield would never know that kind of intimacy. She had no idea how honored she should feel that I shared that with her. In return she had bore my son, which is an honor in itself. I was nearby when she gave birth; close enough to feel her anguish and effort, and in my mind I had silently spurred her on. Then I sensed the moment when my son exploded into this world, and I waited until it was the right time to see him. So fragile…was my first thought. Just like her. But strength co-existed in that frailty. Here was my blood and her flesh, living side by side in the form of a squalling hybrid prince. In my eyes he was perfect. I didn't even care that he had lavender hair, or that she had named him Trunks. I just sensed potential, and that was all that mattered.
I continued to watch them, still feeling like I could accidentally destroy them with one touch. Since the night Trunks was conceived, I was never able to return to those sensations again. I felt distant, like I shouldn't get involved. Her friends would say it was because I thought I was better than her, and I wouldn't lower myself to her level again, when in fact it was the exact opposite. At the thought of being with her again, I just felt black and empty. There was no way she deserved my tiny dead heart.
But I want her. As I hover in the sky that resembles her hair, (in hue and the fact that its constantly changing) I am overwhelmed with a desire to stay with her. I need to feel the way I felt that night. I have nothing else to live for after Kakarot's death. No training, no exceeding my own limitations in power.
She caresses his silky hair and his small body leans into hers. I envy him as he's feeling her warmth and smelling her scent. I wish that I could…
I slowly fall towards them, like a magnet being pulled to the earth. Bulma doesn't look up in surprise. She must've known I was there. I land next to a tree and brace myself against it, willing my face into the tight frowning mask I know so well. But that doesn't work with either of them. My son toddles forward, his little face concentrated on my foot, and then he stumbles into my leg, grasping it with his arms. I ignore the fact that he may be drooling on me, and I look up at Bulma. She walks casually over to me and places one hand on my chest. Her eyes say what her mouth doesn't. I know that she loves me, and no amount of questioning it will change how she feels. I will learn to accept it. Suddenly I feel her against me again. I need to connect with her. I glance around the yard swiftly, making sure this moment isn't being stolen by another person's eyes. Then, without a word, I lean into her. My lips are touching hers, and her soft body is sinking into mine. Her breath is on my neck and she holds me. She holds the scrap of my heart in her hand. And I just let her, knowing that this is one thing I can't resist.
Won't kill her…
