Summary: Jake and Peyton always dreamed of a life together. One night in Georgia, Peyton proposed. Jake knew that they couldn't truly be together until Peyton settled things in Tree Hill. Peyton is determined to return to Jake, someday.

A/N: So this is my first story. It's a Jake/Peyton story, a couple I absolutely adore I wish Bryan Greenberg stayed on OTH, but then again, I wish a lot of things when it comes to this show, lol. I'm rating it T; just so I can have some wiggle room with language.

This first chapter is pretty much just dialogue from episodes 3.20 and 3.21, with my narration. I was torn between only including parts of these scenes; and decided that I wanted it all. So for now you'll have to deal with the deja-vu and then we can get into the real story. :)

Oh and I'm disclaiming right now that I do not own One Tree Hill or any part of it. If you do, call me and I'd love to negotiate!

The blond sees him standing on his porch, brooding. It's an act she expects from Lucas, and even herself. But not him. "So, you've been quiet tonight," Peyton jokes, an icebreaker.

"I'm worried about you," Jake states plainly, yet you can hear the true worrying undertone hiding in his voice.

"Why?" Peyton laughs at the thought.

"What if I say you can stay?" he proposes, "And somehow we convince your father to let you do it," Jake shakes his head, knowing that Larry Sawyer would never agree to such a thing. His daughter playing house with a teenage guy and said guy's own baby girl? Preposterous.

"This life is hard, Peyton," Jake dismisses the thought that Peyton would ever abandon him and Jenny. She couldn't, he's sure of that much. But still, he has to bring it up. 'For Jenny's sake,' he tells himself. He won't let another mother figure walk in and out of his precious daughter's life, he can't.

"You've got all this fire inside of you, I just- I don't want to be the guy that puts that out," he explains, giving her an easy out. He doesn't want it to be like that, playing games with Peyton, games that end in her leaving; but him convincing Peyton that it's better for her to leave is a hell of a lot easier for him than her choosing to leave, even if the convincing is done in this roundabout, tricky way.

"Well you already did that the night you left Tree Hill," she teases. But it's true, every last ounce of that statement is one-hundred percent truth. She wasn't whole after Jake left, but there was still a spark. And right after he came back, he left again. That spark only smoldered now, sending smoke signals of loneliness straight to her heart.

Jake instantly feels guilty, though, sensing the truth behind the joke. He knows it killed her to watch him leave once, twice. It kills him to think about how much pain he caused her. He knows she forgives him because it's for Jenny, and she'd do the same thing for that little girl. But it still hurts, both of them.

Slowly but surely, the smirk that was on her face fades. "I spent a lot of time being miserable, Jake. It's like misery's an old friend." Peyton swallows hard, the halfhearted smile that belongs to her 'everything-is-alright' facade leaving her face before it even got settled. "And it tricks you sometimes into thinking that it's always going to be there, that you can't be happy." Peyton felt that way all too often. It was impossible for her to be upset around Jake, and when he was gone, it was as if it was impossible for her to be happy. "But you can, you can walk away from pain." She modeled the statement from what she did earlier that day. She left Tree Hill, she walked away from her pain. "And I think being in love is the best way to do it," Peyton finished, recalling the love she felt for Jake resurfacing during her trip to Savannah.

Peyton gazed up into Jake's eyes. "What do you feel when we're together?" she asked, somehow knowing that their answers would be the same.

"Hope," Jake answered quickly, honestly. Peyton let her mouth stretch into a true smile, the truest one in awhile. She was right- they both had the same answer floating in their minds.

"I do too," Peyton added. She took a quick breath, thinking about all the times she felt hopeless without Jake, and wondering now that she was in his arms just how she survived that hopelessness. Peyton loved the feeling of hope with Jake much better. "And we deserve that."

They shared a quick but meaningful kiss on the porch. They did deserve hope after being apart from each other for so long. After Jake fought for Jenny, after Peyton fought with herself. They deserved so much more than hope- they deserved each other. Jake wrapped Peyton tightly in his arms, never wanting to let go. Peyton stayed there contentedly, knowing she would never find a good reason to leave.

Later that night, Peyton wrapped the small child in her blanket, getting Jenny settled in her crib for bedtime. She tucked in the corners, making sure the baby girl her heart ached for wouldn't be cold during the night. Peyton felt relatively helpless, wishing she could do more for the small child. She knew, however, there was nothing more that could be done in such a short amount of time. Jenny's heart was something that was healed over time, the cracks created by mistakes others made filled slowly with love. Peyton knew that fact from experience.

Peyton was finally satisfied and lovingly stared into the child's warm brown eyes, the same eyes that her father had, when she heard baby Jenny utter the most earth-shattering two syllables: "Mama."

It broke her heart and healed it all at once. She was sad for Jenny, knowing that the little girl might not ever truly know her biological mother. But at the same time, Peyton knew best that biological mother didn't always perfectly translate into that perfect definition of the word 'mother.' It was a hard act to balance, the need for a true mother compared to the tug at your heart coming from the need to know your biological roots. Peyton vowed at that moment to help Jenny through that struggle. Tears filling her eyes, Peyton knew she would never be able to leave Jenny. Much like abandoning the baby's father, it just wasn't an option anymore. Not again.

Peyton strolled back out onto the porch, happier than she had been in the longest time. Things were so simple, easy, perfect. Jake and Jenny leaving broke Peyton's heart. But for something so complex, her heart was healed instantly when she saw that father-daughter pair, waiting for her in the Savannah National Airport. Peyton was busy imagining a perfect future for the trio. She'd be an artist, Jake a musician, and Jenny would be whatever her heart desired. She'd have two amazing parents encouraging her along the way, for every step.

There sat Jake, playing his guitar. She didn't recognize the tune, but it sounded happy. That was all Peyton wanted. To be happy. And she was, in this very moment. The only problem that she could think of right now was staying happy. There had to be some way to ensure that she would never lose this perfect feeling. She had been away, taken not by choice, from the love and happiness of a family for far too long. Peyton needed this, it was her new and most favorite addiction.

She took a seat next to him, a confused expression on her face, thinking of the ways to prolong the high she was currently riding.

"What's wrong, Peyton?" Jake asked, his thick eyebrows raised in concern for the blond he loved.

Peyton seemed speechless for a moment. She couldn't answer. She didn't want Jake to think that she was taking advantage of him, using him to make her happy. If she spoke in that very moment, that would be her answer. But the truth was that Peyton needed Jake to be happy. And she was pretty sure that he felt the same way.

"Do you want to get married?" Peyton asked, saying the words so fast that they were almost blurred together. It was her master plan for happiness. A marriage was a bond that lasted forever. This could be her one-way ticket to a perfect life. There were probably flaws in the plan, but Peyton was far too immersed in the moment to see them.

Jake, however, took a page out of Peyton's book and was absolutely speechless.

Peyton took his lack of words as the worst possible answer and ran back inside the house. She found herself in Jenny's room moments later, hoping that looking at the baby sleeping would give herself some sort of peace.

Jake's mouth was dry, he was completely dumbfounded. The only thing he could think to say was to make sure he heard Peyton correctly. "Did you just say you want to get married?" he asked, hoping for clarification. Honestly, he was praying that he misheard her, that Peyton did not just ask for them to get married. They barely discussed living together, and marriage... marriage was a lot more... involved.

"Yeah..." Peyton stifled an awkward giggled, trying to ease the tension she created in this moment. "crazy, right?"

"It's a little nuts, yeah," Jake admitted with a nod. He didn't want to say yes or no, he just wanted Peyton to take everything back. Jake wondered if if was possible at all, in any way, to turn back time. He'd give an arm and a leg to do so. Jake would cut Peyton off before she could say anything. He would make sure that question never flowed through her lips.

But then again... he couldn't think of another moment when she seemed so beautiful. Here he was, trying to think of ways to make it all go away, when Peyton was breaking again in front of him, partly embarrassed and yet partly so determined in what she wanted. How could he break her heart again? He was sure that he couldn't. That, if he did, both of them wouldn't survive.

Jake was torn. The word 'yes' would be so simple to say. Yes. They'd kiss and be happy and start a life together, in love. And the word 'no' was fraught with complications, the first of which being that he might never see Peyton again. Once again, he knew this was something neither of them could live through, again. As he debated, Jake knew that living happily ever after would only happen in the most perfect of realities. However, one of them quitting the relationship they were talking about seemed so real, probable. Jake could feel the odds being stacked against them as time ticked by. But the worst part, Jake slowly realized, was that there was no middle ground. He had to choose: yes or no. Taking it back was just not something that could happen in this reality.

Peyton looked so nervously desperate that it almost broke Jake's heart. He was doing this to her, making her emotions go haywire. It hurt him to watch her plead her case. "Okay, b-but, maybe not? I mean, It worked for Nathan and Haley, look how happy they are!" As soon as the words left Peyton's mouth, she knew it was a bad thing to say. Jake and Peyton were not Nathan and Haley. Comparing themselves was just stupid. It was naive of her to think that the lucky fairytale Nathan and Haley were growing into could be anything like what her and Jake would have... and that was all if he said yes.

Never before had Peyton wanted a three-letter word so badly that she was sure she needed it.

"I love you, Jake. I do," Peyton pleaded, though her and Jake both knew this as fact. Reiterating it was unnecessary. "And you know that I love Jenny." More fact. "So maybe that's enough?" Her voice grew quieter with each syllable, knowing that it probably wasn't true. Though maybe, just maybe, it would be. And she really did believe that, honestly and truly. Peyton wouldn't have said it if it she didn't. She was just contending with herself on whether or not her and Jake would be one of those lucky few couples where love was truly enough to get them through anything.

Jake didn't know what to say, particularly something that didn't crush Peyton's dreams. "I think only in fairy tales that's enough, Peyton." Meanwhile, he had the same thoughts. Maybe they were a fairytale.

"You know what? Someone told me once that there's nothing wrong with fairy tales. You always live happily ever after," Peyton could feel the tears sting in the corners of her eyes, knowing that her argument was over. There was nothing more she could say. It was all up to Jake now. The end results of this conversation were in his hands.

"Okay, listen to me," his voice is hard and rough, with a level of desperation that rivaled Peyton's earlier tones. Even as the words flow from his mouth, he doesn't know where he's going. His heart will finish the sentence, and that will be the decision he makes. "You can't just fly into Savannah and get into my head all over again, telling me to stay and then asking me to marry you!"

"Well why not?" Peyton asks, as exasperated as Jake is.

"Because!" Jake yells back, wondering where his heart is going with this, "I might just say yes!" Almost automatically, a grin cracks through on his face. Peyton sends back a matching smile and meets his lips, ready for a kiss. He knows in that moment that his heart made the right decision. As unrealistic as it may be, neither of them can live without each other any longer. So even if just for this very moment, they are ensured a happy life together.

She woke up to him brooding again. Contemplating what to do, she decided against another joke. "Jake, you okay?" she asked, thinking that the worst that could happen would be that he didn't feel well or couldn't sleep. What more could it be?

He sighed, Peyton's first clue that this was more than a slight case of insomnia or a tummy ache. "You know, you talk in your sleep."

Peyton laughed, her worry hastily flying away. So Jake was woken by her sleep-talk, that was no big deal. "Uh, yeah. I'm sorry," she sheepishly apologized.

"I've been sitting awake, wrestling with the feeling that," Jake paused. Peyton gulped again, sent on another loop of emotion in the roller-coaster of worry she seemed to be stuck on. Wrestling with a feeling about her sleep-talk? She wished he would spit it out already because Peyton was confused. Jake was too, though. He didn't know how to turn his thoughts into words. And he knew two things: once he did, there was no going back; and that this would probably be the end of their extremely short-lived relationship. "you need to go back to Tree Hill," he blurted out, somewhat insensitively, "That you shouldn't stay here. That you can't." The last three words, Jake regretted. That was an unnecessary twist of the knife currently lodged in Peyton's heart, and he knew it.

Peyton almost bawled instantly. She figured it had to be some sort of sick joke her fiancé was playing. But he looked so... serious. "Why?! What happened?!"

"You talk in your sleep, Peyton," Jake repeated sadly.

Peyton was not understanding, though. Maybe she was getting overly-upset; but she knew Jake was overreacting. "Okay, so-so what? I don't- I don't understand. So I-I mumble a few words in my sleep?" she tripped over her words, stuttering. "What'd I say? Was it really that bad? Did I say I wanted to kill you or something?" Peyton asked the questions in such quick succession that Jake didn't know which to answer first.

"No," Jake stated calmly, "You said 'I love you.'"

Once again Peyton was back to not being worried, but she refused to assume that she was safe. What if Jake was implying he had commitment issues? They were technically engaged, this was a very bad time for those sort of issues coming up. "Okay, well, normally that's a good thing," Peyton joked, the only way she knew to relieve any sort of tension.

"You said 'I love you, Lucas.'"

And with that, Peyton Sawyer knew that her life would never be the same. All because she talks in her sleep.

There had to be something she could do, anything. She was sure that there must be a way to explain the horrible incident unfolding before her very eyes. Her first engagement, crumbling before it even had a chance to thrive.

Peyton racked her mind to find some sort of explanation. What was she even dreaming of? Squeezing her eyes shut tight, Peyton's memory flashed to a bookcase, and a puddle of blood seeping into the carpet where the bookcase sat. Then it made sense- the school shooting. That's what she was dreaming of. That's why she professed her love for Lucas during her sweet slumber with Jake.

"Jake," she began, trying to make sure that she worded this correctly. The last thing she needed was to make this situation worse. "During the school shooting, when I was trapped in the library and bleeding to death-" Peyton went for the pity angle. "-Lucas found me. I was sure we weren't going to make it out alive, and I-I told him I loved him," she finished quietly.

"You told Lucas that you loved him?" Jake repeated Peyton's words, unable to think straight enough to think of something more original to say.

"Yeah, bu-..." Peyton's face contorted in confusion and pain. The sureness that there had to be some way to explain this was quickly flying out the window. "It was the school shooting, okay? And I was bleeding, and I thought I was going to die!" Peyton repeated herself as if Jake wasn't listening the first time. If he was, he couldn't still honestly blame her for this, could he? "I didn't mean it like that!" 'Like how I love you,' she wanted to say. But for some reasons her mouth could no longer form any sort of word. Peyton could feel her tongue refusing to speak and going on strike. Her stomach was also planning a revolt, working its way up her throat. It was the worst feeling imaginable.

"Jake... I love you," she lamely finished. There was nothing else she was able to say, no more thoughts that ran through her mind.

"I know that you do," he looked down as he began to admit his fears.

Peyton threw her hands in the air, tired of this up-and-down game. She just wanted a definitive answer that she could understand. "Well then why are you making such a big deal about this?"

"When you decided that you weren't going to go back to Tree Hill, do you remember what you told me?" Jake began.

"Yeah..." Peyton trailed off, unaware yet afraid of where this was going.

"You said that your father's not around, and that Haley has Nathan, and that Brooke has Lucas," Jake stated. Peyton's jaw dropped, hating herself for saying those words, though she knew she didn't say them quite as Jake implied.

"Okay, you know what, Haley and Brooke are my best friends and they spend a lot of time with their boyfriends," Peyton explained herself, "That's all I meant by that!"

"Lemme ask you a question," Jake proposed, not pausing to wait for an answer. "What if Brooke didn't have Lucas?" He knew he was being mean. That question would only open up a can of worms that he himself probably would prefer to be closed, but there was nothing he could do about it. It was too late, and deep down he knew that it had to be asked sooner or later. Letting this relationship go on without true closure with Peyton's past was gambling with disaster.

Peyton couldn't answer. Not because she thought it would get her into more trouble, or because her mouth wasn't working. She honestly did not know. If Brooke hadn't gotten back together with Lucas at the start of junior year, would they be together? It was a definite possibility. But the problem with that was the possibility. Anything was possible. Maybe she and Lucas wouldn't be together. Maybe Lucas would be dead if he hadn't started dating Brooke a second time. Maybe Brooke would be dead. Maybe if it weren't for two of her best friends dating right now, there'd be a rip in the space-time continuum. Who was she to predict the future of alternative worlds?

Peyton stayed quiet too long, forcing Jake's thoughts to be the worst. He assumed that Peyton knew for a fact that she would've gone after Lucas. In reality, Peyton had decided that she probably wouldn't have gone after Lucas. She probably wouldn't have done anything, though she might have agreed to dating him if he made the first move.

Jake tried to put his feelings into words that wouldn't kill Peyton. That was what this was all about- trying not to ruin the girl he loved again. But he knew that this dream they were attempting to live couldn't merge into the reality that he, Peyton, and Jenny had to live in. "You see, Peyton, you asked me to marry you after Jenny called you 'mama.'"

"Yeah," the blond nodded in confusion, the hints of a smile on her face as the memory played in her mind.

"After you lost your mom again," Jake continued, Peyton slowly realizing what he was really saying, "I mean, your dad's not around..."

"Oh." She walked away from him, from the conversation. It was more than enough for him to bring up Ellie's death, but then to use that and the fact that her father was absent from her life against her? Peyton was astonished that Jake could do such a thing. "You know what, don't," she demanded.

"You're alone Peyton, I get it!" Jake honestly thought he did, but Peyton knew he didn't. If he did, they wouldn't be talking in the first place. "It makes all the sense in the world that you would want a family!"

"No!" she screamed, tears once again burning her eyes. This wasn't right, this wasn't how things were supposed to be. Last night was the beginning of their happy ending, Peyton couldn't understand how something so right could end so wrong. Jake didn't get it. She was lonely, of course she was. There was no denying that was true. But he and Jenny weren't replacements for her lost mothers and father. They were something different altogether.

"I want this family," Peyton's voice was strong, yet broken. An impossible contradiction, but true nonetheless.

"Do you?" Jake challenged, sensing that he was pushing her too far. He didn't intend on hurting Peyton, but it seemed like he was doing just that.

"Okay, you know what, just don't?" It was a question this time, a plea. Peyton honestly couldn't take more of this. Her mind was spinning and her heart was broken and she was sure that she would be sick any second now. "I don't understand this, okay." Peyton swallowed hard and continued, "'Cause it seems like you're working really, really hard to push me away. So if you're not into me, just say so!" She closed her eyes, waiting for the truth. It had to be that Jake didn't really want to be with her. There was no other logical explanation for the way he was acting, the way he was so vehemently pushing her away.

"No, that is not it!" Jake protested, "I love you, Peyton, okay? I don't want to believe that there's another guy in your heart. But I think that there is," Jake finally admitted his feelings of defeat. He was so sure that he wasn't good enough for Peyton, that he wasn't what Peyton wanted.

"I think that you're afraid," Peyton retaliated. If he truly knew her he would know that such a ridiculous thing like her loving someone more than Jake was impossible. And since Peyton was so sure in her heart that Jake did know her, she was sure that he was hiding from this commitment.

"Yeah, you know what, I am afraid!" Jake admitted, "It hurt like hell the last time I lost you and I... I-I don't want to do that again!"

"Then don't," Peyton answered simply, as if it was the easiest problem with the most wonderful solution. In her mind, it was. There was no need for this fighting, they could just stop.

"Look..." Jake took a seat next to Peyton, trying to reason with her, "marriages fall apart all the time because people, they get caught up with the romance and they're not honest with themselves. Well I have to be twice as honest- once for me, once for Jenny." Peyton knew she was being honest with herself when she said she loved Jake and wanted to marry him, that she wanted to be a mother to Jenny. The only problem was that if Jake didn't listen, how was she supposed to make him believe it?

"Peyton, I'm sorry," Jake murmurs to a curled-up, broken version of the girl he loves. It kills him to see her like this again, to know that he did this to her. He knows he had good intentions, but the intentions aren't what matter- it's the outcome.

"I don't want you to go," he admits. Peyton wants to yell again. 'Then don't let me go!' but she knows that there's a 'but' following Jake's statement and even if she protested, at this point, it's over. "But your father told you to follow your heart, and he's right." Again she wants to fight this, to yell and scream until Jake believes her. But Peyton can't seem to find the words and everything aches too much for her to try. Plus she knows that Jake won't listen; it's a waste of her breath. "And as much as it kills me to say it, I think you need to follow it home."

Peyton sniffles. It really is over. "But what if you're wrong?" she challenges him with a 'but' of her own, "What if I go back and my heart just aches for you like it has for months now?" She knows it will, there's no question of 'if.'

"Well then, I'll still be here," Jake promises; and for the first time since the night before, Peyton feels hope. Hope that everything will be okay, and she truly will live happily ever after with Jake and Jenny. "If it's meant to be, we'll still be together," Jake says, pushing the promise further. Again Peyton knows it's not a matter of 'if,' it's a matter of 'when.'

"Someday," Peyton whispers, filling in the blank that the 'when' left in her mind. She knows it's true, and she knows that Jake knows it's true, too. Things genuinely seem okay again, or at least that they will be okay in the near future.

'Maybe Jake is right,' Peyton concedes in her thoughts, 'I just need to make sure my life in Tree Hill is complete. Abandoning my friends and family won't do me any good if I want to start a new life with Jake and Jenny. I'll just tie up my loose ends and come back.'

And Peyton really believes that, too. But there's a nagging part of her that instigates a fight, asking 'If you're so sure, why don't you tell Jake that yourself?'

She's too afraid to answer, because she doesn't know. Deep down, Peyton was only sure that she was unsure- of everything.

Maybe she'll know someday.

Peyton is thankful that the baby can't understand her tears. She relates to Jenny because of that. Peyton herself can't understand her tears. But she's cried enough to know that sometimes there's nothing left to do but cry. It's the first step in healing a broken heart.

Jake approaches the two girls, wishing that he never said anything to Peyton about sleep-talking. But this was his easy way out. She was right, he was afraid. Unlike Peyton, Jake wasn't even willing to fight for them. He couldn't, not with Jenny's tiny heart at stake. "Where's your head at, Peyton?" he asks, for no particular reason.

"Well, uh, when I went to bed tonight I was living a fairy tale and when I woke up, it's a nightmare," she honestly admitted, not shying around things that would make Jake feel guilty.

"It's still a fairy tale, don't give up on that," Jake says, though even he has a hard time believing that. In all the stories he's read to Jenny, the prince and princess never promised each other 'someday.'

"Look inside your heart and ask yourself 'Is Lucas still there?'" Jake asks of her. It's almost too much to bear, the rehashing of old feelings and low level of trust that Peyton feels like Jake has with her.

"If not, I'll still be there." And the hope is back. But now Peyton knows not to get too attached, since it seems like a fleeting object only there to tease her.

Peyton only gazes lovingly at Jenny, unable to look at the man that is breaking her heart once again. She realizes with sadness that she won't be able to fulfill the promise of acting as a mother to Jenny. Her heart breaks all over again, leaving Peyton to wonder how many times it's possible for something so vital to break and still be usable.

A/N: So I hope you liked it, and whether you did or didn't, feel free to leave a review and tell me your thoughts. :)