Murder in Omaha
(Which is not a state, Mr. O'Reilly)
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, Don't own Bill-O, Don't own Jacko.
Squad 3 was in Omaha."Oh Sasuke!" Sakura cried blushing. Sasuke just stared at her weirdly. He was actually madly in love with Naruto but he made sure no one knew and would never know about his love. Except for Bill O'Reilly. But he wasn't in Omaha, Sakura was, how sad for poor Sasuke. Sasuke kept sneaking quick, meaningful glances at Naruto who was as hyper as ever. And oblivious.
"Sasuke, I totally totally love YOU!!!!" Sakura screamed, jumping onto him. "Get off ME!!!!" He screamed pushing her away. Sakura cried loudly. "WAHHHHH!!!!" It was loud enough to wake the entire city, and even Bill O'Reilly heard it.
"What is that awful noise?" Bill-O said to nobody in particular.
Sasuke just rolled his eyes and walked away. Sakura was all by her lonesome. Suddenly, an awful person appeared! It was Michael Jackson! "It's okay little girl! Why don't you come with me? I've got candy." He thought a moment. "And bring those boys Sasuke and Naruto with you!"
"How do you know my name?" Naruto asked loudly.
"Uh..." Jacko replied. "It wasn't because I've been stalking you if that's what you were thinking... No... of course not..." Then he disappeared as suddenly as he had came. As Sasuke and Naruto stared in shock at where Michael Jackson had been, Sakura stared lovingly at that place. Finally, after getting over his shock, Naruto said, "Hey Sakura, wanna go see if we can find some ramen?" There was a pause. "Sakura?" "Mm? Sorry, what?" She asked, coming out of a daze. "I asked if you wanted to go with me to find some ramen." "Sorry, no, I've got things to do. Later." She ran off in the direction where she thought Jacko had gone.
"COME BACK!!!" She screamed. "WE CAN STALK SASUKE TOGETHER!!!!"
Meanwhile somewhere in New York... "WHAT is that *&**#%^% AWFUL noise!?" Bill-o was getting mad now.
Sakura kept running though she was getting tired. She ran all the way to New York, following Jacko's trail. "Jacko!!! Where ARE YOU?!!!!!" She screamed stopping in front of Bill-o's apartment.
Bill-O was confused, but moreso, he was annoyed. "I AM NOT JACKO!!!!! I AM BILL ^#&#%^* O'REILLY!!!!!" He grabbed his TV. "SHUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!" And with that he threw the TV upon the unsuspecting girl. Acting quickly she used her ninja skills. "Don't tell ME to shut up #$%#$^!!!!!!" She screamed, throwing the TV to the side where it smashed into an unsuspecting car.
Bill O'Reilly ran up to the girl. "WOW! You can scream almost as loud as I can!!!" He looked at her a moment before hearts began to cloud his eyes. "I've never met anybody who can scream that loud!!!" Sakura looked confused for a moment, furrowing her brow. "Thanks?" She said, kind of questioningly.
"Wait." Bill-O said. "You aren't a LIBERAL are you?" Then he began to glare at her "You aren't working for KEITH OLBERMANN are you!!!!!!!!!"
Sakura had no idea what he was talking about "uh..."
"Too slow!!! LIBERAL!!!!!" Bill-o grabbed her hand, dragged her into his apartment and locked the door. He knocked her out by grabbing her bubblegum pink hair and smashing her head on the wall. Then he proceeded to tie her up, gagging her mouth with tape.
"Gah! oth kiuhn o0000!!!" Sakura screamed. which roughly translated into "How can you be tying me up? I'm a ninja and you don't even know what a panda is!!!!" Luvkily, Bill-O understood her.
"IT WAS SO A PANDA!!! JUST BECAUSE IT WAS BROWN!!!!!" He had lost his patience, and was now in crazy O'Reilly mode. He went to his closet, opened the door and took out a chainsaw. "THIS is what I use to KILL LIBERALS!!!!" He screamed, turning it on. Sakura screamed in horror, and yet she was in awe of his massive chainsaw.
*Insert Gory Kill Scene Here*
Bill-O finished washing his apartment after disposing of the body. "Job well done O'Reilly!! One less LIBERAL in this world to deal with!!!"
Suddenly, the door was busted in, and Sasuke stood in the doorway......
AN: Murder does not actually take place in Omaha. May go back. Not now.