A/N Some words from the end are taken from "Doomsday" which I wanted to reflect onto this story. I will one day re-do this so I can delve deeper into this because I find this idea lovely, but as for now, all I can offer is this.
I do not own Doctor Who
The Doctor was an eccentric man, he cared and he gave and gave and gave, almost asking for nothing in return. He was a good hearted man, of course. He had his bad moments, but so did everyone else. But one thing he knew he was, it was that he was lonely. He had many companions, of course. They don't stay for long, they never did, they couldn't because they don't live as long as he does, for as long as he has, and he wouldn't dare watch them wither and die.
Rose was so close though, she was almost his forever.
She had said so many times herself, those words sweet on her tongue and of course The Doctor was to reject those words, because it wasn't true.
It will never ever be true because she can't. She will wither and die just like a flower, he'll watch her waste away and he couldn't bear the thought of losing her, watching her lose herself. He couldn't, he refused to, and so he kept himself at a safe distance as not to get too attached.
But oh god did he ever want to hold her in his arms, he wanted to kiss her and murmur words in her ear. He wanted to bring her to every corner of all of space, and watch the stars, and go on adventures upon adventures and run and run and run away, either from aliens or the truth itself; no matter how hard he tried he yearned for her.
One day she stopped running.
They were in the TARDIS and she requested that they go see Mum and Mickey just for a bit, and she had smiled at him so wide that he couldn't resist, so they went through time and space off to her home (Second mind you, because the TARDIS was her home now, or wherever The Doctor lay to rest) and she had jumped up with excitement, unsteady on her feet and his hands lay dangerously on her hips to steady her.
Her cheeks had burned and she whispered thanks before laughing once more, dragging The Doctor by his hand, because they fit perfectly together, entwined. It was their way to say that they want to go on, and it was their way of affection, whether it was platonic or not.
It was also for comfort, when Rose felt just a little bad and a little blue and The Doctor would slowly lace his fingers with hers and make her a cuppa.
Rose had swung open the door while The Doctor trailed behind her, and she was all smiles and laughs, and her mother and Mickey waved back, on the other side of the street. When they heard the ever so familiar TARDIS noise they knew that she was back home. (Though ever since she had met The Doctor her heart never really belonged to them anymore)
Rose was brave yes, she was so brave and wonderful, fantastic and brilliant, that was Rose Tyler, but oh was she ever reckless when she could be. She ran ahead of course, glad to see that both her Mum and Mickey were alright, her hand had slipped away from The Doctor's; he almost felt a sense of longing, albeit brief.
Rose Tyler should learn how to look both ways before running across a London street.
It was frighteningly similar how her father had been hit. There was more blood, a lot more blood. She was lying on her side, and she could hear a ringing in her head, it was constant, and she would've said shut up if she wasn't in that much pain.
She could vaguely see her Mum through the red, and hear her scream, though it was a bit warped. Mickey was screaming as well, together they made a haunting song with the lyrics consisting of only "Rose." Mickey was holding her Mum, and she could feel the thump of the earth as she felt someone rush up to her.
Mickey got his head out of the gutter and dialed 999, his voice frantic as the driver who had hit her looked down in shock. The Doctor of course, kneeled down and he tried to open his mouth, to speak, but his words were chocked and he couldn't believe his eyes because she was dying right before him and he couldn't do a damn thing about it. He held her hand, a comfort, and oh god she was bleeding and her eyes were closing and it wasn't supposed to end like this.
He knew he was crying when he saw droplets beginning to fall on her face, and he didn't know what to do, but watch as Mickey and Jackie run up and try to keep her company, try to keep her from closing her eyes forever. The driver was in shock as well, a young woman, leaning over her car, looking as if she was ready to throw up, but no one paid her head.
Everyone held their breath as Rose tried to move her head, of course to face The Doctor. Jackie was holding her other hand, while sobbing into Mickey's shirt and she would've screamed and screamed at The Doctor for letting this happen but it wasn't his fault and it wasn't Rose's fault and it wasn't the driver's fault either.
Maybe it was just another cruel sick fate.
And when Rose faces The Doctor, she starts crying because it hurts, and she feels herself slipping away and oh does she ever want to cry and how she wants The Doctor to wipe them away but she can see he's afraid to touch her.
"Don't worry sweetheart everything will be fine, the doctors are gonna fix you right up and you're not leaving us today, you can't."
That is her mother, who squeezes her hand and she tries to pull herself together for her sake. She can also see people surrounding her, looking down upon the silly girl who didn't look both ways.
The Doctor looked up in relief, along with everybody else as the ambulance finally come over and their blaring sirens are a relief, as they push past the crowd and try to reassure and find out what had happen. Jackie was the one to inform them while Mickey lagged behind, having no idea what to do but stay by Jackie's side. The Doctor was the one who held her hand as she smiled up at him through the pain, grimacing as she was being lifted up and in the car.
Jackie and Mickey follow their lead, though Mickey had to go on and drive there himself because there wasn't enough room and Rose had demanded that The Doctor be with her. Mickey had only felt a little bit of hurt, but he was used to being the second man, always second ever since she had met The Doctor.
They are in the hospital and it has been two days since Rose Tyler has been in the accident. Jackie still had to go off and work, and Mickey was too scared to visit Rose, but Jackie had entrusted that The Doctor would keep her company while she was off; every second of every moment, and Jackie would come whenever possible.
Oh but The Doctor dreaded this, he's witnessing the thing he never wanted to happen, watching the lovely Rose wither and die.
The doctors couldn't do much, says that her organs are failing her and her brain isn't that right and that she's gonna end up dying and oh he just wanted to scream and scream and yell at them for not doing their job and saving people and saving rose. Instead he was mournful, because that was silly and it wasn't their fault.
He knew Rose was strong, but why wasn't she now? Humans could get killed by anything, soft and pink but Rose was different, oh his Rose, and now…
She's saying his name in his sleep.
She does it sometimes and he couldn't help but smile, but it doesn't help quell the pain he feels in his hearts and he holds her hands, laced together. She had woken up a few times, smiled and talked to him, and sometimes she'll be out of it, talking about Barcelona, and even refusing to accept his existence because he wasn't the man with the piercing blue eyes and those big old ears.
That hurt of course.
This time though, when she awakes, she is quiet and she is pale and she tries so hard to smile up at him. She knows the truth too, she's gonna die soon, oh she has felt it, her heart slowing and her brain losing the fight and she just wants to speak with him one last time.
"Where is mum?"
His hands on hers' tighten, and he tries to smile. "Oh she's at work, you know. Says that she's here in spirit, and that I should be here every moment and every second I can, her words."
She smiled and nodded, closing her eyes; she opened them once more, trying to stay awake.
"What're you going to do?"
"What?"
She pauses, and she doesn't want to say the words but they are the truth.
"What're you gonna do when I'm gone?"
He pauses, and oh he wants to shake his head and tell her it isn't the end and reassure her that it wasn't and that she'll be up and running in no time with him for the rest of her life, but not his.
He tells the truth.
"Oh, I've got the TARDIS. Same old life, last of the Time Lords."
She frowns, tears starting to burn behind her eyes.
"On your own?"
He nodded and he tried to be solemn and not cry, but she was starting to sob and she didn't want this to be the end, hit by a car, a normal human death, not heroic or dashing or brilliant, just a very mundane death that still hurt.
The Doctor was hurt, he vowed that Rose wasn`t going to die on him, and that she was going to live a full life and be happy.
And it was the heat of the moment and oh god he didn`t want to lose her and he wished those silly little fairy tales would help him now, and that a few tears and those three words were enough for the whole god damn universe to have mercy on his soul.
"Rose Tyler I love you."
She had smiled so wide and it had hurt but oh did she ever smile. She could feel her eyes beginning to close and her organs beginning to fail and she wanted to tell him that too, she wanted to scream it out loud and sing a song, but she couldn't so she squeezed his hand.
"Yeah…"
She looked him straight in the eye, trying to keep them open as she tried to mutter those last words.
"And if it's my last chance to say it, Doctor, I…"
She closes her eyes, and oh she can't do it.
Rose Tyler dies with The Doctor by her side, tears streaming down his face, and him grabbing her desperately in her arms, whispering those damned three words in her ears to make her wake up.
The nurses found it to be a sad sight indeed.
The funeral wasn't much, a few close friends and whatever family she had. The Doctor was in the back, not daring to meet her mother's eyes, and when it was finally done and gone with, Jackie had offered him some tea back at her home and he shook his head,.
"It's fine, I need to get back to the TARDIS."
And they left each other without saying another word.
And The Doctor was left by her grave, and he sat down, knowing that she was buried 6 feet under, he closed his eyes and whispered the words he'd never thought he'd say, in his own native tongue, he murmured his name, as if though she'd hear him.
It is carried off into the wind, and The Doctor bids farewell to his lovely Rose.