----
Well here it is, I'm reposting it for the benefit of those who haven't been able to read this. So here goes. Enjoy!
----
Professor Snape sighed as he settled himself back into his leather chair. He always did enjoy the summer holidays, he usually spent them in the Muggle island of Puerto Rico. It was beautiful there, always sunny, the ocean was crystalline blue and the sand a virginal white. Not that the beauty mattered at all to him; he personally wouldn't care if they turned the Muggle-ridden, hellhole into a nuclear bomb testing zone. He just needed to use a computer and they did have the Internet in Puerto Rico. He needed the Internet to indulge his secret passion, anime.
Anime was the air in his lungs, the frosting on his cake, the fizz to his champagne. He spent hours waiting for the Sailor Moon DVD series to arrive. He rented a room in London on weekends so he could watch them. For Merlin's Sake, he had paid a Muggle child to tape the entire series an overwhelming 152.72 £. That alone had nearly bankrupt him to buy his Tenchi Muyo series. Ahh… Ryoko made his heart beat faster. That bastard Tenchi didn't deserve her.
He logged into his computer he smiled at his screenname: RyokosPlaymate666. Oh how he wanted to be. He smiled as he typed in those blessed words. WWW. (his smile grew broader) FANFICTION (His heart palpitated in his mouth) . (anticipation growing) NET (he sighed in relaxation.) Life was good….
The phone rang as he clicked Anime. He sneered, those damn muggles always interrupted him. "Mr. Severus Snape, to whom do I have the displeasure of speaking with?" A Puerto Rican girl faltered as she brokenly said, "Senor. Do you want housekeeping?" He rubbed his temples tiredly, this had been the third time that day. "FOR GOD'S SAKE I HAVE SAID NO THREE TIMES TODAY. I DON'T WANT HOUSEKEEPING!! GO BACK TO YOUR SLUMS YOU INBRED WENCH!" Sobbing was barely heard on the other line as the other person hung up.
Sitting back down to his chair, Snape made sure he was good and comfy before looking at the screen. His eyes narrowed as the choices on his screen didn't resemble Anime at all! What kind of sick joke was this?!? He scrolled down as he glanced over names practically in hysterics for the beloved titles weren't there! Suddenly he gasped in shock as he fell off his chair clutching his heart. It couldn't be could it? His eyes had fell upon the words: Harry Potter!!
Nevertheless, he was intrigued. He could be heard muttering words such as "Rubbish.", "What idiocy will they think up next..." and "A nice Cruciatus curse ought to dispel all their thought about the BOY!" He looked down the titles as one in particular caught his eye: The Masked Nutter. He looked it over, scrolling down until one line caught his eye, "Severus, have you had your medication yet?"
As he read the story he could feel the rage building within him. His left eye began to twitch convulsively as a large vein throbbed in his temple. His pasty face turned a brilliant shade of tomato red. He bellowed like a wounded hippopotamus in labor. Before savagely clicking the 'Back' button, and flipping off the computer.
The next story he caught his eye upon was called: Bad Dog! Really Bad Dog! As he saw what the main theme was he felt the Urge to Throw Up rise from the depths of his sin encrusted soul. He…spend three whole Months with, with that flea bitten, mangy dogman Sirius! Suddenly he ran to the bathroom and proceeded to hug the toilet as the contents of his lunch came up in a disorderly fashion. When he read the part about him looking good in a leather coat, he immediately decided to buy one. Now that enchanting witch Sibyl would fall for him in the next term! He laughed an evil snicker as he read about him torturing Black with that itchy spot. He had to try that. "What an ingenious idea!"
He was genuinely disgusted when he found out that Black had started humping his leg. If he had anything left to throw up, he would've already. He shook his head vigorously as he tried to rid himself of that atrocious fiction.
When he looked his watch next he did a double take. It resembled the Weaselys family clock, however it had things like "Yell at a poor innocent person for looking happy." or "Accuse a vile boy of pickpocketing and chase around for a while." Now it read "Scare a baby or take candy from it." He glared as he performed a few curses that would reach the authors of the fanfictions mentioned. They would get used to the facial hair and the dumbo ears. He logged off and went out.
Life was good……
----
Written by two very excited girls on Roshashanah.(---spelling?) They had the day off. Please review. We'd like to hear you yell at us and tell us we need mental guidance. Thanks a bunch!
Allyson and Meghan the Whoreible
A.N. The various authors of the aforementioned stories (Bad Dog! Really Bad Dog! and The Masked Nutter) shouldn't take Severus Snape's threats seriously. Or should I say...(ahem) Siriusly...heeheehee...hohoho...I'm a nut!
[By the way, I just wanted to use the word 'aforementioned. Sorry.]
Well here it is, I'm reposting it for the benefit of those who haven't been able to read this. So here goes. Enjoy!
----
Professor Snape sighed as he settled himself back into his leather chair. He always did enjoy the summer holidays, he usually spent them in the Muggle island of Puerto Rico. It was beautiful there, always sunny, the ocean was crystalline blue and the sand a virginal white. Not that the beauty mattered at all to him; he personally wouldn't care if they turned the Muggle-ridden, hellhole into a nuclear bomb testing zone. He just needed to use a computer and they did have the Internet in Puerto Rico. He needed the Internet to indulge his secret passion, anime.
Anime was the air in his lungs, the frosting on his cake, the fizz to his champagne. He spent hours waiting for the Sailor Moon DVD series to arrive. He rented a room in London on weekends so he could watch them. For Merlin's Sake, he had paid a Muggle child to tape the entire series an overwhelming 152.72 £. That alone had nearly bankrupt him to buy his Tenchi Muyo series. Ahh… Ryoko made his heart beat faster. That bastard Tenchi didn't deserve her.
He logged into his computer he smiled at his screenname: RyokosPlaymate666. Oh how he wanted to be. He smiled as he typed in those blessed words. WWW. (his smile grew broader) FANFICTION (His heart palpitated in his mouth) . (anticipation growing) NET (he sighed in relaxation.) Life was good….
The phone rang as he clicked Anime. He sneered, those damn muggles always interrupted him. "Mr. Severus Snape, to whom do I have the displeasure of speaking with?" A Puerto Rican girl faltered as she brokenly said, "Senor. Do you want housekeeping?" He rubbed his temples tiredly, this had been the third time that day. "FOR GOD'S SAKE I HAVE SAID NO THREE TIMES TODAY. I DON'T WANT HOUSEKEEPING!! GO BACK TO YOUR SLUMS YOU INBRED WENCH!" Sobbing was barely heard on the other line as the other person hung up.
Sitting back down to his chair, Snape made sure he was good and comfy before looking at the screen. His eyes narrowed as the choices on his screen didn't resemble Anime at all! What kind of sick joke was this?!? He scrolled down as he glanced over names practically in hysterics for the beloved titles weren't there! Suddenly he gasped in shock as he fell off his chair clutching his heart. It couldn't be could it? His eyes had fell upon the words: Harry Potter!!
Nevertheless, he was intrigued. He could be heard muttering words such as "Rubbish.", "What idiocy will they think up next..." and "A nice Cruciatus curse ought to dispel all their thought about the BOY!" He looked down the titles as one in particular caught his eye: The Masked Nutter. He looked it over, scrolling down until one line caught his eye, "Severus, have you had your medication yet?"
As he read the story he could feel the rage building within him. His left eye began to twitch convulsively as a large vein throbbed in his temple. His pasty face turned a brilliant shade of tomato red. He bellowed like a wounded hippopotamus in labor. Before savagely clicking the 'Back' button, and flipping off the computer.
The next story he caught his eye upon was called: Bad Dog! Really Bad Dog! As he saw what the main theme was he felt the Urge to Throw Up rise from the depths of his sin encrusted soul. He…spend three whole Months with, with that flea bitten, mangy dogman Sirius! Suddenly he ran to the bathroom and proceeded to hug the toilet as the contents of his lunch came up in a disorderly fashion. When he read the part about him looking good in a leather coat, he immediately decided to buy one. Now that enchanting witch Sibyl would fall for him in the next term! He laughed an evil snicker as he read about him torturing Black with that itchy spot. He had to try that. "What an ingenious idea!"
He was genuinely disgusted when he found out that Black had started humping his leg. If he had anything left to throw up, he would've already. He shook his head vigorously as he tried to rid himself of that atrocious fiction.
When he looked his watch next he did a double take. It resembled the Weaselys family clock, however it had things like "Yell at a poor innocent person for looking happy." or "Accuse a vile boy of pickpocketing and chase around for a while." Now it read "Scare a baby or take candy from it." He glared as he performed a few curses that would reach the authors of the fanfictions mentioned. They would get used to the facial hair and the dumbo ears. He logged off and went out.
Life was good……
----
Written by two very excited girls on Roshashanah.(---spelling?) They had the day off. Please review. We'd like to hear you yell at us and tell us we need mental guidance. Thanks a bunch!
Allyson and Meghan the Whoreible
A.N. The various authors of the aforementioned stories (Bad Dog! Really Bad Dog! and The Masked Nutter) shouldn't take Severus Snape's threats seriously. Or should I say...(ahem) Siriusly...heeheehee...hohoho...I'm a nut!
[By the way, I just wanted to use the word 'aforementioned. Sorry.]