Dear Duncan
Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you
Counting my footsteps praying the floor won't fall through again
And my mother accused me of losing my mind
But I swore I was fine
Those days seem so long ago now. The ones where I'd constantly think about you were the best, now they're the worst. I remember when I would lie in bed for hours on end, you made it look and feel perfect. But, that didn't last very long. In the edn I was praying for you not to come. When I heard the footsteps, I'd be praying my world wouldn't come crashing down. Again.
You used to do it to me all the time. You'd build me up so I was on a high, just to bring me back down. Well, you more like threw me back to reality. Making sure it didn't mean anything to me.
Visiting people was the worst. They had always warned me about you. They all told me dating you was a mistake, but I refused to listen. I was blinded by love. It was the way you made me think, the way you made me feel. Like I was invincable. My mother accused me of losing my mind. She told me I was insane for wanting you, but I told her I was fine. At the time I thought I was. How wrong I had been...
You paint me a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game
But you changed the rules everyday
Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone
Tonight
Well I stopped picking up and this song is to let you know why
You always made my days seem perfect, blue skys all the way. Until we were behind closed doors, and I all I could see was rain. I lived in your chess game. I was just a mere pawn, looking back, I always hated chess. Especially your version, you would constanlty change the rules of life to fit around you. I was sick of it, but there was nothing I could do.
In the end, I had, had enough. I moved back in with my parents. I knew it was for the best and you seemed to agree. But, we stayed together through it all. Smiling and laughing, that's how it was to everyone else. No one would suspect what was going on, really. You were controlling my life.
My phone would ring and your number would flash up. I'd stare at it for a few minutes, wondering what sort of mood you'd be in tonight. You had so many different versions, varying from sweet and caring to mean and scary. I was always just that little bit hesitant towards answering. And, in the end, I stopped answering.
I wrote this for you. It's to show you why me and you never worked out. You wouldn't change and I didn't want to be changed. This is a letter, a ltter to show you how I really feel.
Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home
I should've known
Dear Duncan, we've gone our separate ways. I hope you can understand why I've done this. But, the again, you never seem to understand why I do anything. Now you're gone, I can finally see what everyone was talking about. You were wrong for me. I was far too young for you to mess with. I was still only young, too young.
I cried. You always made me cry. Whenever we went out somewhere, I'd cry the whole wayn home. You would embarrass me. I hated being seen in public with you. I hope when you read this that you can finally see what you did was wrong. But, I should have known. I should have known you'd always do something like that.
Well maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame
Or maybe it's you and your sick need to give love then take it away
And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand
And I'll look back and regret how I ignored when they said
Run as fast as you can
I am blaming myself for it all. It's my fault that everything that happened, happened. Me and my blind optimism. I just couldn't see what was going on right in front of me. Or, maybe it was your fault. You always had to go and use girls. You gave out your love, then took it away with a click of your fingers. It's sick.
And, now, you'll go add my name to the list of girls you've dated, used and have left you. None of them, including me, wanted to take what you were dishing out anymore. I'm always going to look back and regret not listening to everyone who told me to not waste my time with you. They all told me 'Run as fast as you can', but I wanted to be the one to prove them wrong.
Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home
Dear John, I see it all now it was wrong
Don't you think 19's too young to be played by
Your dark twisted games when I loved you so
I should've known
Dear Duncan, we've gone our separate ways. I hope you can understand why I've done this. But, the again, you never seem to understand why I do anything. Now you're gone, I can finally see what everyone was talking about. You were wrong for me. I was far too young for you to mess with. I was still only young, too young.
I cried. You always made me cry. Whenever we went out somewhere, I'd cry the whole wayn home. You would embarrass me. I hated being seen in public with you. I hope when you read this that you can finally see what you did was wrong. But, I should have known. I should have known you'd always do something like that.
Scratch that last letter. It's not nearly as convincing as I had hoped. I really want you to feel the pain and anger I'm feeling, and have always been feeling since the day it all started with you.
Dear Duncan, I can see it all so clearly now. Me and you, we were never going to work out from the beginning. I knew we weren't, but I still went along with it. It was all so wrong. Every last little bit of it was wrong. I was only nineteen. Nineteen years old and caught up in your sick games of lust. I feel so dirty, believeing you was a mistake.
I loved you. I truley loved you. But, what I didnt know was, I was trapped in your dark games. Well, guess what? I don;t want to play them anymore. I don't want to play with someone who cheats the game of life and breaks the rules to suit himself. But, I should have known. I should have known you'd always do something like that.
You are an expert at sorry
And keeping lines blurry
Never impressed by me acing your tests
All the girls that you've run dry
Have tired, lifeless eyes
Cause you burned them out
But I took your matches before fire could catch me
So don't look now
I'm shining like fireworks
Over your sad empty town
You aren't good at understanding how I feel. You're not good at anything. You never take the time to talk to me, never. And if you ever did, it wasn't true feelings coming from deep within you. The only thing you're actually good at is saying sorry. But, that's because you've said it so many times before. You're an expert at aplogizing. You always made sure I accepted the apology, so you wouldn't loose me. But it was all just a blur.
School. That's always been an issue. You were constantly failing and, on the odd occasion, you'd just scrape through with one or two marks above the pass. It was terrible to think that me, top of the class, was dating you, below bottom. The teachers thought I'd be a good influence on you, and I guess I was. You did pass a few tests here and there, but nothing for me to be impressed about.
It wasn't just the tests. I know, before you had me, you'd been round half the girls in school. They all knew who you were and it was hard to walk down the corridors with all your ex's watching me, knowing I was your latest victim. All those girls you ran dry, you ruined them completely. Their tired, lifeless eyes never left me as I walked past.
You burnt all your ex-girlfriends out. They were nothing once you were finished with them. I didn't want to be like that. I didn't want to be just one of those girls, the ones that you passed every day, knowing what you had done to them. So, I took the matches before you could start a fire. I left you. It was the only thing I could do, show you how it felt to be dumped by a player like you.
Now, without you here with me, I'm shining brightly. I never could have done it if I had never got rid of you. I'm the brightest firework in the sky at night, all because I had the courage to say goodbye. And when you pass me in the hallway, you're just a sad, empty boy, who got burnt.
Dear John, I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home
I see it all now that you're gone
Don't you think I was too young to be messed with
The girl in the dress wrote you a song
You should've known
You should've known
Don't you think I was too young
You should've known
Dear Duncan, we've gone our separate ways. I hope you can understand why I've done this. But, the again, you never seem to understand why I do anything. Now you're gone, I can finally see what everyone was talking about. You were wrong for me. I was far too young for you to mess with. I was still only young, too young.
I cried. You always made me cry. Whenever we went out somewhere, I'd cry the whole wayn home. You would embarrass me. I hated being seen in public with you. I hope when you read this that you can finally see what you did was wrong. But, I should have known. I should have known you'd always do something like that.
Now I can see that without you, I'm everything you want to be, but never will. I know you were just holding me back from my dreams. I was, and still am, too young for you to mess with. You shouldn't be playing games with young girls minds, or any girls mind for that matter. You still made me cry after we broke up. So, that crying girl in the car is writing you a letter. A letter to tell you that it is officially over. I have everything I could have ever wanted, and more. And it's all because of you.
You should have know it was all going to blow back in your face. Everything you did, it'll come back to you. You shouldn't have messed with me because you will now regret losing the best thing you ever had. You should have known...
A/N: A quick songfic I have been working on for three days...okay, so not that quick ;) LOL!
I hope yopu like it :) I did work hard on it :)
Song is Dear John by Taylor Swift
Taylor swift songs are amazing! LOL!
Um...I am kinda running out of oneshot ideas...Anyone got an idea or maybe even a title they wanna throw at me and see how it goes?
Yeah, that is how bored I am these days...
LOL!
Thanks for reading, please review :)
Love, ChloeRhiannonX