Chiron Beta Prime.

12th in the JoCo song files, based on the song Chiron Beta Prime. Part one of my Christmas special. Set after GHOST STORY so spoilers, sweetie.

This year has been a little crazy for Harry Dresden. You may recall I had some trouble last year. I've become the Winter Knight. Not through choice, through necessity.

I hate it.

I hate it so much. I hate Mab. I hate Maeve.

I want it to stop.

Mab's already had to punish me more than once. You know what she did to Slate. I haven't had quite that level of punishment, but it's been close.

I know it's almost Christmas by the marks I've made on the wall. It was never my favourite part of the year as a kid, but these last few years, it's been growing on me. Christmas is for family and I finally had people I could call family. But this year? I really don't feel celebratory.

Mab is reaching the height of her power, and I think she's getting more insane with every day that passes. It's hard to party with that hanging over you.

She opens the door to my cell and walks in. I'm chained, naked and spread eagled to the wall.

"Do you repent, my Knight?"

"I apologise, My Queen. It was not my intent to go against your wishes."

"Liar. But you speak so prettily. I think you have suffered enough for this latest transgression." She runs her nails down my chest. They dig in and scratch at me. "I shall release you, for now. You may return to your mortal haunt. But you had better come when I call."

"Always, my Queen." I bow my head, laying it on with a trowel.

She let me go.

I wish she'd just kill me.

I went through to Chicago. For some reason, this section of the Never Never let me out in John Marcone's back yard. And, of course, she didn't let me fetch my clothes. So there I was. Naked, freezing and bloody, in Gentleman Johnny Marcone's back yard. Perfect.

I stood there, frozen. His men, well trained as they are, surrounded me, and then, from nowhere, he appeared.

"Mister Dresden? Is everything alright?"

No.

"Sure. I'm standing here naked for fun." I tried to smile, but my mouth felt wrong.

I wonder if he knows. If he knows what I just went through to stop Mab from having me punish 'that upstart mortal Baron'. What it took for me to convince her he was better off alive. I wonder if he could tell me why I did it. We hadn't been talking to each other. We'd fallen out. And yet I was still willing to risk my life for his.

I regret that now. That we fought, not that I saved his life. Before I died, we hadn't been speaking to each other. We'd acted like idiots over that whole fae orgy incident, and had barely seen or spoken to each other since. Then I died, and when I came back, he tried to be my friend again. I couldn't let him in and bristled, arguing over everything I could. I was too tender and overwrought not to take our bickering seriously, and I think he felt the same way. I know my return to life had been a massive shock to him.

He looked me over, weighing me in his green gaze.

"Come inside. Let me find something for you to wear."

I let Marcone feed me, and tut over my wounds. He was gentle in a way that always surprised me, no matter how many times I see this side of him. I wanted to push him away. But I couldn't. it felt right, somehow, for him to be the one seeing me like this.

It's not like I was hurt badly. She'd healed the worst of the wounds she'd given me. She'd just left the surface injuries as a reminder not to talk back to her, not even if I was right. Make that especially not when I was right.

I don't know why he cares. I don't know why I care. I don't talk to him.

"Harry... Mister Dresden, what happened?"

I smiled, which may have been a mistake. He flinched and I swallowed hard. This was wrong. I pulled away and grabbed the clothes he'd bought for me and dragged them on. It wouldn't occur to me to wonder why he'd had clothes in my very long, skinny size just lying around until much later.

"I need to leave." I got up and walked out. He followed me, motioning for his guards to let me past. I could tell he didn't want to. That he wanted to make me stop, to make me talk to him. At one time, he would have given the order. He wouldn't have let me leave until I'd spoken to him. I think part of me wanted him to try and keep me. To try and make me talk about it.

But I just couldn't.

His house was huge. And it was empty. No personal touches, no photographs, nothing that screamed "John".

There were guards on every corner carrying weapons, and I almost laughed.

I ignored them, and they glared menacingly at me.

He had a tree in his front hallway. I just stopped and stared at it. I don't know why it was such a surprise. His mansion was too cold and sterile to have a Christmas tree really, but I knew he was Catholic, and the tree fit his public image.

It took too long to reach the front door. I ached everywhere, and when John put his hand on my arm, I couldn't stop myself from leaning into the touch.

"Harry, stay. You're hurt. please."

The please almost undid me. And... He'd first named me. That meant something. Especially between us.

"I need to leave."

The world outside the front door was dark and filled with snow. A winter wonderland. His hand on my shoulder was soft and warm. It anchored me.

I can't feel this. I don't want to be feeling this.

It will only make it harder when I have to return to the numbness of winter.

I didn't look back.

Watch out for the rest of the Christmas special!