Author's Note: Definitely AU. Definitely crack. Spoilers from manga chapters 600+. Un-beta'ed.
"What are you reading?" asks Kakashi.
"Not sure yet… Just found it." Tenten replies slowly, not looking up from her scoll.
"Oh? You have that many?" He leans against the tree across from where she sits.
"Many what?"
"Scrolls."
She doesn't respond.
It's a stupid question. 'Of course she has many scrolls, Hatake.' He wants to rephrase his question and stop the awkwardness he's creating from growing, but he may only make things worse. He has yet to master the art of making small talk with women. Kakashi occasionally thinks of resigning to believe he will never be any good at it.
She is suddenly very quiet, completely immersed in her reading. He's beginning to feel silly just watching her. Should he pull out his own reading material too? Will she notice if he does? Tenten probably won't judge him or think any less of him. He feels she is now getting around to putting up with his quirks after being sent on several missions together.
"We can take a break. We're ahead of schedule anyway," he says out loud, pulling Icha Icha Tactics from his pocket. He opens the book to a random page and peers at her over the weathered edging. An unoriginal sneaking ruse that always works for him.
He watches her eyes intensely dart along as she reads her newly found piece. He's curious, but he knows better than to be overtly nosey with a young woman he still doesn't know very interpersonally. Privacy is something he values too; living in a hidden village didn't provide such luxury in bulk, despite being a 'hidden' village. Attention to detail and keen hearing is such a commodity in ninja communities that even civilians born and raised in the area can be somewhat adept in gathering information covertly. Most keep quiet about what news or gossip they hear because they know all truths reveal themselves eventually.
Kakashi has his own inquisitive vein. He has to. If not, then he has no room to call himself shinobi. But he won't be disrespectful to his comrades by prying.
He also isn't particularly comfortable when people try to steal glances over his shoulder when he reads. For one, he likes his personal space bubble to be explicitly his. He isn't embarrassed over what he reads, bless Lord Jiraiya's soul, but he likes his books to be his best-kept secrets. His own go-to's for a little pleasure that never fails to put him at ease while he continues to live in this crazy world that keeps making him stick around.
He makes an 'ahem' noise to break the silence. "I'm ready whenever you are," he says to her.
Literally there are crickets chirping nearby. Kakashi shuffles his feet to cancel out the noise.
He senses her to be near the end of her reading when he hears paper crinkling and a sharp exhale she releases. Tenten hastily rolls the parchment back inside its sleeve and stashes it away in her duffle bag. She doesn't speak as she slings her bag over her shoulders and stands up.
She walks, dusting off whatever soil touched her pants front and back. He studies her face as she comes closer. Her closed lips are flat, and there is a tiny glint in her eyes; it flashes for a brief second, but he catches it. Nonetheless, she is expressionless.
He feels somewhat perturbed as to how to address her sudden change of attitude. When they had left for their mission in the morning, she was all too eager to leave the village for a time. "I was getting cooped!" She had exclaimed, skipping in her stride. "Let's take our time though, okay Kakashi-sensei? I don't think we'll run into trouble. Well, any trouble the two of us can't handle at least."
He has never seen her this stoic. There's a thick chance she picked up habits from Neji over time.
'Picked' is the keyword, he states to himself.
Kakashi knows he is not the only one who sees Tenten as the only sane one in her squad. (Or the least insane, depending on the days.) He admits that he never pegged her to be as much a morning person as her bushy-browed teammate and sensei can be, but she helped keep them moving along at a hare's pace, and for once he completely welcomed a Gai-like jubilance that wasn't totally Gai-like. Between the men in tights and the uptight man in white, she has always been the most approachable of all.
Now that woman is nowhere to be found. Maybe he had imagined her.
When Tenten is a couple of steps past him, she finally responds to his question.
"Even I didn't know I brought this many. I guess it snuck its way in."
He watches her walk further away on the path, and does not move to follow her until the sound of grass crunching under her sandals goes mute.
Kakashi is unable to remember the last time he felt so awkward.
*&^%$#!
It is his idea to make camp in the densest part of the forest. The sun finishes setting and the night coupled with thick tree canopies blanket them in near total darkness. In a way, he has been expecting her to suggest being somewhere else overnight, perhaps a place with less snakeskin shedding lying about and a very minimal likelihood of getting animal dung under the sleeping bags. He can understand that. He remembers a word or two from Gai that amongst all three of his students, Tenten can be the least enthusiastic about being knee-deep in wild boonies, or anywhere that didn't have a shred of civilization within walking distance.
"There's hardly any proof that other human beings have tread these parts," he explains to her. She didn't ask for his reasoning and probably doesn't care, but she listens. "This location will naturally mask our presence, in case there's anyone who consider Leaf ninja as hostiles. We're very close to the Land of River's borders."
"Oh."
"Hm?"
"Nothing. Go ahead."
"Um, River's people are probably feeling fretful about any ninja from the larger countries surrounding them traipsing through their land. They haven't been complacent since the frenzy with the Akatsuki taking the Kazekage to their old hideout in the area. I don't think the war helped any either."
The hard stare she wore while listening to him softens at his words. She blinks and looks down. He pauses to see if she will say something to him. Nothing leaves her mouth.
Kakashi sighs inwardly and continues. "Keeping a low profile is the best way to approach this. I take it you brought enough blank scrolls for sealing?"
"Of course. Definitely."
"If we see anything of interest, we'll put it all in the paper, do another look-over, and be on our merry way back. Who knows? Maybe this won't take long at all. For the most part, we should only be scouting."
Tenten slides her bag off of her shoulders and drops it gently on the ground. "Sounds good," she says nonchalantly.
Something in her voice tells Kakashi that she frankly doesn't give a shit. He contemplates if he should do the same from now on.
"I'm going to gather kindle," he says over his shoulder as he walks away.
"Wait—watch your step!" She barks at him.
Kakashi jerks his foot in the air and freezes in place. He sees her hand up in a 'stop' gesture, mouth hanging open. He looks down at the ground where his foot was going to land.
An enormous, awful pile of guano had been waiting for him to sink his toes in. The stench hits him hard like a bad hangover from puking cheap rum.
"Phew," she wheezes, "That was a close one. Of all people, I'd have thought you'd be the most careful about that kind of stuff."
So did he. Apparently Kakashi can still be the stick getting shit on his ends.
*&^%$#!
She doesn't argue about where they sleep for the night. After he makes their bonfire, she immediately sets up their meals, sharing no words. As she passes the cup of instant ramen and chopsticks to him, he can't help but actually feel coldness leaking from her despite how scalding hot the water in his styrofoam cup is.
He turns his back to her to eat, because he still doesn't trust her enough to let her see what's under his mask. Though in her current circumstance, she's probably not in the least bit interested. And if she is, she doesn't show it. For the mission he trusts her with his life, but not his face. She doesn't comment. He knows his pretend act of reading while eating isn't a good enough lie in this bleak firelight.
After they finish eating, he offers first watch and asks if she would like for him to keep tending to the fire a little longer if she's feeling cold. She responds with an apathetic, "That's fine." Kakashi doesn't know if she meant a 'yes' or 'no', but he lets the matter subside.
She unfurls her bedroll not too far from him and sits back down. He hears a deep sigh coming from her, and when he turns his head, he catches a downcast look in her eyes that tenses when he looks at her.
What that hell is in that scroll? Now Kakashi is dying to know: What's in there that had the ability to zap away the power of youth?
An idea of fishing for it in her knapsack while she sleeps crosses his mind briefly. He can read very fast, even faster with his sharingan. He would make sure to read it over, commit it to memory, and place it back wherever she kept it. She would be none the wiser.
A clash of noise stops his thoughts and brings him back to the present in surprise. He turns his head and sees Tenten tossing more kindle in the fire. She stops after the lights from its flames make the area brighter without letting the fire get too fierce.
"I thought…?"
She breathes deeply and says, "I know you like to read before going to sleep. It's too dark here, but this is the best it can do without having the fire get too crazy."
He opens his mouth but she cuts him off. "Don't ask me how I know this. I'm a ninja."
"Is everything—uh," he clears his throat. "Everything okay, Tenten?"
There is a glint in her eyes again, speckling with the fire's reflection in them. "I'll be honest," she opens up, "things could be better."
"They could always be worse too. But things tend to turn around." He says.
"Do they?"
He's silent. And then he sees she's still looking at him solidly and realizes it was a serious question.
"You're asking me?"
"If you want to answer."
Kakashi looks up to examine the leafy roof above them for any trace of star or sky, pondering how to respond to her.
A soft voice in the corner of his mind tells him that he already knows the answer to her question, but years of taking the brunt of bad calls and mistakes and just giving too much of his heart to people will probably never allow him to admit it with confidence. He may not regret any of it, but even that takes a little extra effort to swallow from time to time.
With so many of his comrades dead, should he still call himself lucky that he's still enduring?
"Actually, never mind." She yawns softly, interrupting his thoughts. "Some other time, Kakashi-sensei. We have a big day ahead of us," she says reassuringly.
She bids him goodnight before cocooning herself in her bedroll. Soft, breathy noises from her direction follow soon after.
Tonight is the first time he notices that her mouth opens when she's in a deep sleep. Gai does that too.
*&^%$#!
A comfortable chill settles over the campsite as the fire dims, and still Kakashi doesn't feel the least bit sleepy. He shuts his book for the night, unable to concentrate and feeling too lazy to maintain light. There would be no point in waking her up so she could take over for watch, not with his mind so stimulated.
He feels some relief knowing she is holding up with whatever had been eating her up. She's making conversation with him again, but there is still a distance wedged in-between them. Perhaps it's always been there, as any acquaintanceship on a first-name basis can be when one knows of someone, but doesn't know him.
Really, the two of them don't know each other very well. Sure, they've teamed up against the Akatsuki, fought in the great war together, defended their village together—hell, they even bore witness to the colossal Ten-Tails together. And survived. And together, they mourned those who didn't. The war had ended over a year ago, yet the days that passed since have felt either very slow with the reconstruction of the village still in tow, or very streamline along the sails of peacetime.
Back home, he interacts with her sparingly. When he sees her in public, they exchange hellos; She's the one who says hi first. He sees her in the daytime with her team working out intensely at the training grounds. Lately she's been by herself more often. He knows this because she always arrives at mornings at Training Ground Three as he leaves the memorial stone. Their salutations are always the same: "Good morning." "Training again?" "Akatsuki's done but if they're dead and we're alive that means a bigger pain in the ass is underway." "You think so?" "Well work hard." "See you later."
Sometimes Gai talks with Kakashi about his students' well-beings, and almost always the talks lead to waterfall spills from his eyes because the subject will snake its way to the same thing: Neji Hyuuga.
"Another genius gone so young," people say, "the Leaf village had been robbed of such an extraordinary shinobi." Not many can honestly say they knew just how extraordinary he was. Not like how Gai knew. Or the Hyuuga clan. Naruto, even. Especially not Lee or Tenten.
"How's Lee? And Tenten? I see her, sometimes." Kakashi had inquired once.
"They're coping. They're strong, Kakashi. You know that. But I see it in their eyes: They truly miss him. And so do I."
"You taught him well."
"In some ways, I think he would have managed well enough without me as his sensei. He was a genius after all. Surprised me every day. That's why I hardly ever worried about him!
"He made me so proud, Kakashi! No matter how many times I pressed him to stretch his limits, or how many times I put him out of his comfort zone, he still respected me!"
(Every now and then, Gai starts sobbing at this point of the topic.)
"He may have never been too fond of sharing his feelings, but he did have his own way of letting me know that my teachings were of value to him. I know it!"
"Gai, I'm positive he appreciated you to the end."
"My student…!"
"Gai…"
Kakashi tries not to bring up the subject anymore. Long ago, before Obito—maybe even before his father—he settled with himself the idea that Death is an indiscriminate thief that isn't above waving its spoils like a flag, bragging to those still living. Especially ninja.
Complete Author's Note in profile page! :)