It's Not Going To Work or Red Light
Authors Note: Every time I hear the song "Red Light" by David Nail on the radio I think about Mary and Raph. I've been thinking about this fic for months. It's not quite what I wanted to write, but it is what it is. Thanks to bujyo for the last minute beta.
Disclaimer: Don't own the show, don't own the song.
Spoilers: Specifically for "God Cop Dead Cop" and "Don't Cry For Me Albuquerque"
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Raph smiled slightly as he looked over at the gorgeous blond in the seat next to him. She'd been out of the hospital for almost 3 months now. Brandi had moved in with Peter and Jinx was actually holding down a job that didn't involve alcohol. Everything was going great. Mary's work schedule was still hectic and chaotic, but, well, he was learning to deal with it.
"So, have you met this guy we're supposed to be talking to already?" Mary asked, looking out the windshield as she drove down the freeway.
"No, I've just talked with him over the phone. Of all the people I called, I think he'll be the best one for us." They took the exit off the freeway into one of the more affluent neighborhoods in Albuquerque and pulled up outside a small shop.
"I can't believe we're doing this. Isn't this something we should be able to do on our own?"
Raph tried not to sigh. How many times were they going to have this conversation?
"Mary, we've been over this. With your busy schedule at work, and me working more hours at the car lot, the only way this is ever going to happen is if we have someone else help us."
He watched as Mary stalked out of the car and glared at the sign. He knew she was resistant but that was just the way she was, she hated asking anyone for help. He followed her and smiled as he saw the same sign she has been scowling at just seconds before: "Mrs. P's Weddings"
As they walked in they were met by their wedding planner. Not Mrs. P, but a man who introduced himself as Paul C., and was probably more excited about the wedding then either of them.
Mary scoffed at him as he showed them around the small store, explained the services they offered, but Raph just smiled; this was perfect. They would be able to have the whole wedding planned here with little inconvenience to Mary. He knew that most women threw themselves into the wedding plans, and he used to think Mary would be one of those women. Sadly it had taken her getting shot and going back to work the second the doctor had signed the release to get him to realize she wasn't one of those women.
It wasn't until they were back in the car, driving back to the house that he asked Mary what she thought.
"That guy should ask Marshall out."
"Really? I didn't realize—"
"It's a joke." He never did get her jokes, or her constant references to the man who was always in the background, but seemed to always have her attention when he was around.
"Ah, ok." He waited a second before asking again, "So, do you think it'll work?"
She just grunted, which Raph figured was the best response he was going to get out of her. The pulled up to a stop light and he watched Mary as she looked out the window at the young couple who were crossing the street, so close together you couldn't see between them. It was obvious they were in love and he was about to say something about it when Mary opened her mouth.
"It's not going to work, Raph."
It took a second before what she said sunk in, and even then he wasn't sure what she was talking about, but the last question he had asked came to mind. "We can find another wedding planner. Paul was just the first one I'd met that I thought you would like. There are other wedding planers in Albuquerque that we can see."
"That's not what I meant, Raph." Her voice was soft and he was shocked more by that than anything. He wasn't expecting this, out of the blue, to have her say…
"No. I don't accept that."
"There's nothing to accept."
There was a stony silence, and Raph wished for the first time that he had turned the radio on when they got in, if for nothing else than to fill the silence now. He was still trying to process. It wasn't supposed to end this way, with her being so calm. He'd thought, not willingly, but because it's something that he has learned to do when being with her, about how it was going to end, and quietly in the car at a red light when the sun was shining and the breeze was blowing was not it.
He'd thought that there would be yelling, screaming, blood even…but not this. He had to know.
"Why now, Mary? Was it planning the wedding? We can put it off a bit longer if you'd like…"
"No, it's not that, Raph." She stopped, not giving the reason, and before he had a chance to ask again the car behind them honked to get his attention, to let him know that the light had changed. Raph resumed driving, not getting very far before he pulled off the road into the parking lot of a grocery store.
"Is it another man? Are you in love with someone else?" He didn't think she would be like that, but you never knew with Mary, she kept so much hidden.
"What! You think I would do that? I can't believe you think that little of me. I'm not you." She spit the last bit out bitterly, a reference to the one time he had strayed, even though they hadn't really even been together at the time. "It's just not going to work."
"Why do you keep saying that? Why won't you even tell me why so I can fix it?"
She laughed a bitter laugh and looked up from the phone she'd been playing with in her lap. "Fix it Raph? Really? You think this can be fixed? You walk on eggshells around me, we don't like to spend time together outside of the bedroom, or at least I don't. I don't like what you do for a living; you don't like what I do for a living. We spend most of our time together fighting, or sleeping, because, let's face it, we just don't get along."
"What…why now? I thought things were going well, we'd been working through the issues we had…have. I thought things…" he trailed of helplessly.
"Really, Raph? 'Cause I don't think so." The disdain was evident in her voice. Raph was used to hearing it, but for some reason it really cut him to hear it now, of all times.
"How long?"
She looked at him like he'd sprouted another head.
"How long has it been that you've been thinking about leaving me? Was it before or after I told you that I was talking to wedding planners?"
"It's been a while coming, since I got shot really, I guess…today just sealed it for me. I knew I couldn't go through with it, and I couldn't put you through all the planning just to leave you at the altar." She glanced down at the phone in her hands again and he felt his anger rising.
"Can't you just stay in this conversation for 30 seconds? What's so important that you have to keep checking your phone?"
"It's over, Raph. I know, I haven't been fair to you, I'm sorry. I know I've led you on, but…I'm sorry." She looked at him once, as if debating a farewell kiss, but changed her mind. She looked out the window at a black SUV that pulled up next to their car and, with one hand on the door handle, she turned back to him. "I won't be home tonight. I'll give you the time you need to move out, will a week be okay?"
He just stared at her. She was really doing this, she was leaving. He snorted as he saw who was in the driver's seat of the SUV next to them; Marshall. He would come bail her out.
He watched as she drove out of sight, still not really believing. She wouldn't just break it off, would she? But Mary always knew what she wanted and gave no thought as to who might be in the way. He looked over at the passenger seat and noticed something there that hadn't been there before.
His eyes welled up with tears as he picked it up off the seat and held it in his hand, watching as the sun glinted off the diamond. She'd left her ring.
Red Light
So this is how it ends/This is where it all goes down
This is what "I don't love you" feels like
It ain't the middle of the night/And it ain't even raining outside
It ain't exactly what I had in mind/For goodbye
At a red light in the sunshine/On a Sunday
Nothin' to say/Don't even try
Some are comin' home/Some are leavin' town
While my world's crashin' down/On a Sunday
In the sunshine/At a red light
I thought she was gunna say/Somethin' about that couple kissin'
Crossin' the street/Or somethin' about this beautiful day
But she just looked me in the eye/Said it's over
Didn't try to lie/Or pick a fight
I might have seen it comin' thata way
But at a red light in the sunshine/On a Sunday
Nothin' to say/Don't even try
Some are comin home/Some are leavin town
While my world's crashin down/On a Sunday in the sunshine
At a red light
There's a momma calmin' down a little baby/In the backseat in front of me
There's an old man dressed in his Sunday vest/Just waitin' on green
But I can't see, gettin' past
This red light in the sunshine/On a Sunday
Nothin' to say/Don't even try
Some are comin home/Some are leavin town
While my world's crashin down/On a Sunday in the sunshine
(At a red light)
At a red light in the sunshine/On a Sunday
Nothin' to say/Don't even try
Some are comin are leavin town
While my world's crashin down/On a Sunday in the sunshine
At a red light (X4)