Amends

Disclaimer: It all belongs to Joss/Whedon

At Cordelia's farewell party a long overdue conversation takes place.

Cordelia sits in her car overwhelmed with the emotions this night has brought her. She announced her departure to L.A one week ago and the Scoobies decided to throw her a farewell celebration. She was touched that her friends (yes she finally accepted that they were) had done this even after their rocky relationship. She had said her goodbyes to her friends, after the party was over. Tears threatening to spill over she's suddenly startled by a rapping on her window. Looking to her left she was surprised to see it was Willow staring at her hesitantly. Cordelia rolled her window down.

"Can I come in?" Willow asked nervously.

Unable to say come up with a sarcastic remark Cordelia simply nods. Willow comes around to the other side and enters the car. For a long time there's nothing but silence. Willow finally breaks it.

"If someone had told me at the beginning of our sophomore year that we would become friends I would have called them crazy. Yet here we are 3 years later." Willow smiles at the thought. Confused Cordelia waits for her to go on.

"Do you remember when vampire me came to this world? Before she left she congratulated me on..how did she put it? Oh right 'stealing Xander' from you. She said she was glad to see I wasn't so innocent as I thought. As much as I hate to agree with her, she had a point. Clearly you still carried those feelings of betrayal and hurt. I realized I never apologized to you. So I'm sorry Cordelia. Maybe if it hadn't happened you wouldn't be leaving us now." Willow begins to tear up.

Cordelia feels the tears spilling and regains her composure. "I always denied how I felt about Xander. I really loved him you know. I think sometimes I should have told him. Maybe then he wouldn't have cheated."

"Maybe, but Cordy you know Xander's just a regular teenage guy. He did love you but I think part of him wondered about the possibility of being with me. He gave in but he never had any real feelings toward me."

"Unlike yourself" Cordelia dares to say.

Willow manages a smile at that. "I love OZ but I think a part of me will always think of him like that. It hurt so much when I found out about him and…"

"Faith?" Cordelia finishes.

"He told you?"

"Buffy did. It was like someone punched me in the gut when I found out. It was shortly after she found out herself. I waited for the right moment with Xander and it was all for nothing."

Willow gives her a sympathetic nod.

"You know I never had a real girlfriend. I had my group but they never got me. Not even Harmony. We didn't know each other for very long but I felt I finally had someone who saw me for what I was when I joined the scoobies. Mostly you and Xander, Buffy was busy with slaying to know me as she did you, Oz was…well Oz, Giles and Angel never talked to me much. So when it happened it was worse since it was my two best friends then. Xander was the one who cheated though and we've made our amends. I'm glad you cared enough to talk to me Willow. I'm not leaving because of you though. I have to do this. I don't have a future here anymore." She pauses briefly. "I'm really gonna miss you Willow"

"I'm gonna miss you too Cordelia".

The two hug.

Willow almost exits but turns back. "Don't be a stranger Cordy" She leaves.

Cordelia watches her get in Oz's van where he, Buffy, and Xander are waiting. Once it drives away does she let the tears finally fall.

She drives off to her house one last time.