Lily Evans had been a Healer at St. Mungo's for about 2 and a half years now. Healing was not only something she had adored ever since she had first heard of the profession when she was merely an eleven year old girl, it was also a guaranteed way to escape James Potter after graduation. Healer training was a easy excuse to use when she ignored his many owls and there was no way that she would ever 'happen' to run into him either.
She was at home here, healing was second nature to her and she was already working on the fourth floor with Spell Damages along with some of the most talented healers in the world.
It was a groggy Monday and Lily sat at a small table drinking her morning tea as she did everyday as she looked over a few charts. The door to the staff lounge opened a few moments later and her supervisor, Mr. Dillion stood before her, "Good Morning Dr. Evans" he nodded to her, smiling lightly.
Lily looked up from her papers at her boss, a man with a large mustache and thick dark spectacles, "Good Morning Sir" she chirped, setting down her cup "Did you need something from me?"
The man chuckled quietly "Indeed I do, You are going to be handling the induction training one of our new healers, fresh from school. He says that you two also attended school together as children."
"Of Course, Mr. Dillion. May I ask his name?" Lily replied, smiling lightly even though her heart was practically in her throat.
"Actually he should be down here any minute now" Mr. Dillion nodded toward the door "Ah, there he is. Lily, this is your inductee James Potter."
Lily paled as James walked into the room, "James?" she akes quietly. the boy that had once tormented her had now turned into a man, and an attractive one at that. His eyes were still the same deep hazel, and he was still tall and obviously very well built. but that was where the similarities stopped. He seemed tired, dull eyes and strained a strained smile made Lily feel bad for ignoring all his letters. His obnoxiously messy hair was now shorter than she had ever seen it and he didn't look like he had just rolled out of bed either. Long gone was the mischievous teenager she used to know, James Potter had truly grown up.
He nodded, forcing a smile "Lily.. It's been awhile" James chuckle nervously, reaching up to run a hand through his hair, but stopped himself and instead offered her his hand as he began to take her in "You look great, how have things even for you?" He asked
"I've been fine, really busy but fine" she nodded, shaking his outstretched hand "I didn't know you had an interest in healing" she added, raising an eyebrow slightly
"I didn't..." James admitted sheepishly, but after I quit Quidditch and Auror traning wouldn't accept me into this year's program Moony suggested I learn healing basics"
"Hmm.." Lily tutted "Remus did mention that a few months ago when I visited him. I will admit its a shock to see you here, not to mention you look really different.."
"Is that bad?" James asked raising an eyebrow "Because the short hair thing was all Padfoots idea"
Lily laughed "Listening to Padfoot is usually never a good idea, but you look fine honestly just more grown up."
"I could say the same thing Dr. Evans" he teased playfully "Not that you looked bad before of course."
She sighed "James, listen..."
"I know I know.. Your not interested, I understand" James nodded "Im not going to bother you, and besides I wouldn't want harassment charges or your angry boyfriend coming after me"
"You would only have to worry about the harassment charges at this point" Lily replied, as she turned and started rummaging through a large filing cabinet for the employee handbook "I take it your going to be working on this floor until the next Auror training session?"
"That's correct, like I said its just a time filler.." James nodded and sat down at the small table and folded his hands in front of him
"Then this all should be a breeze for you" she nodded and put down a stack of papers in front of him "These are the various forms we use and the employee handbook and standards..." she started, and began into the lecture as if she had done so a million times before, James listening intently the whole time. When she finished, she looked up to see James staring at the papers in front of him instead of her, and be didn't have a single question. He shadowed her for the following two weeks taking notes and filling out paperwork as if it was his own. Lily was quite impressed with his focus and with how quick he caught on.
On the last day of their partnership, she had James checking on one of the more mild patient as she tended to an older man who was on the brink of death. As Lily attempted to adjust the man's Medicine bag, he went into a convulsing fit,Without thinking she hit the button on her pager to summon James and then she began trying to help the man, to no avail.
James rushed into the room right at the moment when the old man's heart monitor leveled out. "Merlin's Beard.. Lily?" he asked quietly as he saw her drop her head down into her hands and sink into one of the armchairs in the room. Lily began to cry quietly, ashamed of herself for not being able to help the man.
"He.. Its my fault James.. He died on me." she gasped, obviously in shock
"Oh Lily," He said shaking his head "Its not your fault...You're a brilliant healer and If you truly did everything that you could, no one else in this hospital would have been able to save him either."
"Thats not true." she sniffed "I could have done more. I- Its all my fault" Lily stammared, her hands shook violently
"Lily.. You need to calm down." James hushed quietly, taking her shaking hands in his own to steady them
"You honestly cant expect me to CALM DOWN" She scoffed rolling her eyes at him "Someone just died Potter and its all my fault. That has never happened to me before, and I never wanted it to happen to me either."
"Evans," he replied challenging her with his eyes "You did EVERYTHING you could. I know this isnt ideal but your going to have to realize that in your profession this is the stuff that is going to happen."
Lily began sobbing, ripping her hands from his " I DIDNT SAVE HIM. I COULD HAVE DONE IT! I KNOW I COULD HAVE AND YOU KNOW IT TOO. DONT LIE TO ME AND TELL ME ITS GOING TO BE OKAY WHEN ITS NOT! THERE IS A BLOODY WAR BREWING BENEATH US AND IM STUCK HERE DEALING WITH THE FALL OUT BECAUSE I AM TO COWARDLY TO GO INTO AUROR TRAINING."
James was quieted by this, he had no idea that strong Lily, Beautiful and Strong Lily, was just as scared as everyone else. "Lily," he began quietly "You are one of the bravest and strongest people I know... You shouldnt be ashamed of being scared, after all you are only human. We're all scared. Your probably right, I dont know if everything is going to be okay.. No one dose really. But I do know that I lo-... that I will do my best to help you in any way possible. Your brilliant Lily, okay? "You cant let this get in the way of that."
Lily looked up, her eyes were blood-shot and her face was streaked with tears "Don't sugar-coat things, James.. We both know that if we both go into traning and then the order there is a snowball's chance in hell that we are going to make it out of this war."
"As long as there is a chance, Im willing to take it.. Wether that chance be of a 'we' or making it through" James replied quietly
Lily laughed bitterly "This is what its about..."
"Excuse me?"
"You still want to be with me... I thought you had grown out of it." Lily replied
"I would be lying if I denied that" James nodded "But I didnt plan to be working with you. I didint know where you were, all I got from your letters was how busy you were."
"Didnt you say that Remus told you to try healing?"
"Correct."
"James Im sorry but Im not interested..."
"Oh I know Lily, you let me know that every day since we were 11 practically" he chuckled, a bit of sadness in his voice
"You were the one that kept asking" she pointed out raising an eyebrow slightly
"The heart wants what the heart wants, Lily flower" James replied with a sheepish shrug "Ive just grown up to realize that love is putting someone else before yourself even if it kills you"
Lily didnt reply, instead she looked at her feet, which suddenly were very interesting to her.
"Listen, I know there will never be an 'us' as in together but there could still be a chance for a friends 'us'. Im meeting Remus and Siruis for lunch, and you need to get out of this hospital as much as I do, so why dont you go with me?"
Lily nodded and stood up, rubbing her eyes "I'll come... But I have a few papers to fill out before I can go."
"Ill take care of them.." James offered cautiously "You probably need to freshen up"
Lily laughed despite herself "I look that bad?"
"No no no no" He replied shaking his head "Never"
"I get the feeling you are lying" she smirked lightly before leaving the room, James trailing behind her
"You may think that but I assure you I find you very beautiful. Now go, do what you need to. I will meet you in the break room in 20 minutes." James replied and then walked off.
About 20 minutes later the two were walking in silence to a place very unfamiliar to Lily. She was still in shock but was now calmer and slightly flustered by James' compliments and honesty.
"Now, expect lots of comments from Siruis he hasnt grown up since school at all. And Remus will probably just give you 'the look"
Lily snapped out of her thoughts, "Excuse me?"
"About us showing up together.." James shrugged, slightly flustered
"Ah.." Lily nodded "I think I can handle them
"We will see.." James chuckled "No hexing anyone though.."
"Oh Bummer, I planned to turn Siruis into a dog but he could handle it on his own I suppose" she mused playfully and smirked lightly when she saw James' panicked expression
"How did you-?"
"Its better if you dont know" She laughed lightly as they entered the restaurant.
"Oi Prongs, finally got your hands on Lily-Flower did you?" Siruis chucked right on Que as they sat down together
"Just friends, Padfoot.." James sighed and rolled his eyes at him
Lily smiled, slightly forced, "Hello Remus, thank you for not making any comments like someone else likes to do..." She shot a look at Siruis who simply shrugged at her
"No problem Lily," Remus nodded "Are you feeling okay though.. In all seriousness you look about as tired and stressed as the rest of us feel."
"Im fine.. Just healing is a very stressful profession" She replied honestly
"I see" Remus nodded "Have you thought about coming to the order in the fall anymore?"
Lily nodded, noting that James and Siruis' attention was now on her "I think I am going to.. Its where my heart is really, helping people." she stammered, blushing slightly at James' approving smile
James was so happy that his words had made an impact on Lily almost happy enough to kiss her, hell when didnt he want to kiss her? Instead of professing his love for her or snogging her senseless, he settled for a gentle hug "Thats great Lily, we really need you there"
Lily smiled "Thanks James. That means a lot"
James blushed lightly and Siruis stood up rolling his eyes, tugging Remus with him "Come on Remmy.. We are out of here"
"Where do you think your going?" James asked, slightly hurt they were leaving him
"Hell, Most likley." Siruis replied with a smirk "Im jsut preventing myself from watching you two shag on the fun mate."
The two left with out another word, only an apologetic look from Remus.
"Well..." James remarked with a small laugh "Thats Siruis for you.."
Lily smiled lightly "I wouldnt expect anything more of him."
"Are you hungry?" James asked raising and eyebrow at her
She shook her head "Im fine, if you want to eat go ahead"
"Im okay" he nodded "So I think I got through to you about the order, hm?"
"I suppose so..." she nodded, playing with one of her bracelets
"Maybe I should become a motivational speaker." He teased lightly
"Mhmm"
"Lily?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you okay?" James asked, looking at her, his dark eyes full of concern
"Not really..." she sighed lightly looking up at him, blushing lightly
"Is there anything I can do to help?" He asked gently
"Support me?" she replied quietly, the statement sounding more like a question
"Of course" he nodded and gently reached for her hand, hesitating centimeters away from taking it in his own "W- Would this count as supporting?"
Lily looked down at their hands, a beat of silence punctuating the conversation. She then swallowed and nodded slowly "I guess so... As friends?"
"Sure..." James replied smiling slightly as he took her hand in his own. Her milky white skin was as smooth as satin against his and he felt himself sigh quietly as he ran a hesitant thumb across her palm then lanced their fingers together
Lily's arms developed goose bumps from his touch, but shook it off. It was only friendly, and besides this was JAMES POTTER. The arrogant toerag that she had hated for so many years. "Er... How's your mum doing? She was sick last spring right?" Lily asked,trying to cut through the awkwardness radiating between them
"She's doing good, stubborn as hell just like someone else I know" He replied smirking lightly at her, giving her hand a small squeeze
"So that's where you got it from" Lily remarked, becoming more relaxed as conversation began to flow
"I suppose you could say that." James nodded "But I would say I'm more persistent than stubborn really, and persistence is a very attractive and good quality to have"
Lily snorted quietly "Your just a pain in the arse, and that is NOT attractive, sorry to burst your bubble"
James feigned hurt, clutching her hand to his heart "Damn Lily.. That, that really hurt."
"The truth hurts dear.." she laughed quietly "But I must admit, you really have matured since we graduated."
"It had to happen eventually, right?" James joked "But in all seriousness I apologize for the awful snot rag I was to you. Lusting after a girl is never the right way to do things, apparently I was to blinded by my own ego to see that"
"James Potter, did YOU just apologize?" Lily gasped, leaning forward slightly in disbelief
"Holy Shit.." James murmured quietly, a small smirk playing at the corner of his lips "I think I just did"
"I can not believe it.. Never thought I would see the day where you would apologize, and I honestly doubted you knew how for that matter." Lily laughed
James smiled and ran his free hand through his hair "Geeze Lils, you really know how to make a bloke feel bad"
"I was only teasing, James" Lily protested as she leaned back into her chair, rolling her eyes lightly
"So you DONT hate me after all" he said, full of partially sarcastic hope
"I never hated you." Lily replied, shaking her head slowly "I may have despised you at one point but hate is a very strong word. I mean, we were friends at the end of seventh year. Im not friends with people I hate."
"Then why did you ignore my letters?" James asked flatly "I wrote you because I thought we were friends, I wanted to know what was going on in your life."
"I was scared..." Lily replied quietly, looking down at her lap where their hands rested "Don't you ever get scared?" T
"Of what?"
"Of him. Of what's outside. Of what we're going to have to face when we leave here. Of the doing things right. Loosing someone you love"
"All the time." James whispers, softly squeezing her hand.
"How do you stop it scaring you?"
"You can't. You've just got to remember things will always get better."
"But what if you forget that."
"Do you want to know how I remember?" He asked gently and she nodded subtly. James only just catches it out of the corner of his eye but the black haired boy knows she's sincere. "I think of you." Lily's head snaps up to him but he doesn't let on that he's seen, "I think of my dad and my mum and Sirius and Peter and Remus too but… mainly I think of you. Your hair, your smile, your laugh, your eyes, your voice. Everything about you. It reminds me that things, no matter how bad they get, will always get better... Your my North Star, Lily"
"How?"
"Because you made me better. And because I always feel better when I'm around you."
"James." It's just the slightest whisper and he looks at her,there are tears on her face but Lily is smiling and it is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen and then her hands find back of his neck and her lips are on his and it's teeth and tongue and lips and he's kissing Lily Evans.
Lily couldn't help but kiss him because of the meaning and reassurance his words bring and he makes her feel better even though she would have never admitted that. So she set aside every other though in her head and made this moment somthing they will both always remember. It's all lips and teeth and tongue but she's kissing James Potter and thats all that matters.