A week ago Clarke had screamed at Lexa to get out of her apartment and leave her alone. She'd slammed the door in her face, refusing to listen to anything else Lexa had to say. So when Lexa opened her parent's door that afternoon to find Clarke Griffin standing on her porch, she was understandably shocked and more than a little wary.

Without a word, Lexa led her through the house to the kitchen. Lexa leaned back against the counter, picking up the glass of water she'd filled just before she heard the knock on the door and taking a slow sip. Clarke sat at the island, examining the books Lexa had spread out on its surface. She knew finals were coming up. The thought alone had her folding her arms on top of the nearest book and putting her head down with a sigh. Lexa filled another glass with water and placed it in front of her before going back to lean against the counter.

After waiting a few minutes for the blonde to speak, Lexa cleared her throat, "why are you here?"

Clarke didn't respond in any way. Lexa sighed and continued to lean and sip. All that time being best friends told her that meant the blonde was thinking.

Finally, Clarke lifted her head and met her eye. Then she took a deep breath and stood. She hesitated for a moment and then nodded once, like she'd been arguing with herself and had finally made up her mind. Without a word she approached Lexa who stiffened.

Clarke had her arms crossed over her chest. She leaned into Lexa, resting her forehead against her shoulder. "I'm sorry Lex. So Sorry."

Lexa stood still, grabbing the edge of the counter and squeezing. She had no idea what was going on. Clarke could be apologizing for slamming the door closed on her or for not talking to her at all for the last seven days or for showing up unannounced. She had no way of knowing which mistake the girl was apologizing for.

"Clarke?" She whispered.

"I'm sorry. For everything." Clarke shook her head and sighed. She shifted so her face was pressed into the crook of Lexa's neck. After a long moment of silence she sighed again, "I don't… please just…"

"Just what?" Lexa asked when Clarke fell silent again.

Clarke pressed closer, "I think I just needed this."

Lexa slowly embraced her. "What happened Clarke?"

The girl shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it."

Lexa held her for another moment, squeezing her tightly before moving her hands to Clarke's shoulders and gently pushing her away. She studied her face, hoping to find some clue to help her figure out the problem. Instead she found downturned eyes that wouldn't meet her own.

"Clarke," she spoke quietly, "you can't do this."

"Do what?"

"You know what." Lexa snapped.

"No, I really don't. Tell me what I'm doing." Clarke's eyes finally met hers. Lexa barely bit back a gasp when she saw the tears blurring the blue flames in dancing in her irises. "I thought I was seeking comfort from a friend."

"If it was comfort you wanted why didn't you go to Raven or Octavia?"

Clarke's mouth opened quickly, like she had a response planned out for whatever she thought Lexa was going to say. Instead she was speechless. After just a slight hesitation she managed to sputter out a broken, "wh-what?"

"If all you needed was comfort from a friend you could have gone to Raven or Octavia. But you didn't. You came here. You came to me."

"After blinking a few times, Clarke's eyes were tear free but the fire had grown. "Are you saying we aren't friends?"

"No."

"Then what are you saying?"

"You refused to allow me to explain." Now it was Lexa's eyes filling with tears.

"Lex, I –"

"No! You don't get to say the things you said to me, slam the door in my face, and then ignore me for a week and expect me to be totally cool and understanding when you just show up at my house! Just because you say sorry!" She yelled. "You show up and you want what? You didn't ask for kind words from me. You asked me to hold you Clarke. That isn't fair!"

"I needed comfort!" Clarke gaped at her. She hadn't seen Lexa angry in a very long time. "I'm sorry for not listening. And for throwing you out of my apartment the way I did. I told you I was sorry!"

"If you need comfort so badly, you should go to Finn! Go to your mother! It's not fair for you to come into my parent's house and ask me to hold you and comfort you and placate you like this. Not now that you know!"

Silence fell on the girls as they stared at each other. Each was certain they were in the right. Each convinced the other was trying to lash out for no reason.

Finally, Clarke could stand the silence no longer. "What exactly is it you think I know Lexa? The truth this time please?"

"You know how I feel about you. You know I want to protect you and comfort you and just… be around you." Lexa spoke carefully. "But I won't be that girl who has a crush on her straight best friend. The one who is so desperate for affection that she let's that friend walk all over her just so she can feel close to her."

"Why would you think I have any idea how you feel about me?" Clarke snapped. She closed her eyes and clenched her teeth before taking in a deep calming breath. Getting angry and biting Lexa's head off wasn't going to help anything. It wouldn't help her sort out the raging emotions inside her. "You've never told me anything about how you feel about me Lex."

Lexa decided in that millisecond that she was done with words. Her hands shot out faster than vipers. She cupped Clarke's face and pulled her closer until their noses touched. She pulled until they were chest-to-chest and hip-to-hip. She didn't speak until those beloved blue eyes were on hers and Clarke's hands reached up to clasp around her wrists.

Rubbing small circles into the blonde's cheeks with her thumbs, Lexa finally voiced her questions, "How can you not see it? When you look into my eyes, how can you claim you see nothing?"

Clarke gulped and nodded just once, "I want the words Lex." She stared into her eyes, the green burning into blue, like Lexa's anger was pouring out through them. "Just… be brave?"

"Why do I always have to be the brave one Clarke?" Lexa was barely holding back the tears building in her eyes. "I tried to be brave. For that I was thrown out of my best friend's apartment and given the silent treatment for a week."

"I shouldn't have thrown you out Lex. I'm sorry! I should have listened to whatever you wanted to tell me."

"Stop apologizing." Lexa shook her head. "Just don't do it again."

"Never." Clarke promised.

Lexa stared into her eyes for a moment before nodding. "Why am I the brave one?"

"I need you to be brave because you're the strength." Clarke whispered. "You're my strength."

Lexa's hands dropped to her shoulders as she leaned her head down until their foreheads touched. "I'm scared."

"Nothing scares you. You're you. You're Lexa. You're brave and strong and amazing and… you're you." Clarke's hands slid up her arms until her hands came to rest on her shoulders, her thumbs massaging Lexa's collarbones.

Lexa nodded. She pulled in a huge breath through her nose and then released it slowly. "Okay. This is me being brave then. I want you. I want you in a way that will ruin our friendship. I want to be your comfort and your happy place. I want to be the one you get frustrated with when I forget to kiss you goodbye or when I kiss you hello for longer than is necessary just because I haven't seen you in an hour. I want to forget what it was like you before I had you. I want to be your sanctuary. I want you. I think… no, I know I'm falling for you Clarke Griffin. That I have fallen for you. And I know you can't return my feelings. I know you're with Finn. But you told me to be brave. And believe me, I know you can't return my feelings because I'm a woman. Now you know what I want and how I feel."

"Lexa," Clarke squeezed her shoulders.

"No. I understand. I needed to tell you. It's better than pining."

"I agree."

Lexa took a deep breath and gently pushed Clarke away from her, "now I think it's time for you to go."

"What?" Of all the things Clarke had thought Lexa would say next, that hadn't been in the top fifty.

"I need some space and some time to move beyond this. To move on from you." Lexa held her at arms length. "We'll be friends again someday Clarke, just not now."

As she was escorted toward the front door, Clarke was a little too shocked to fight back. It wasn't until she was on the front porch that she realized what was happening.

"Lexa – "

"I'll call you when I'm ready Clarke."

"No, Lexa! This isn't what I want!"

"This is what I need though." Lexa replied softly, "Let me take care of me."

Clarke's shoulders fell in defeat. There was no way to argue with that. Her friend needed space and time. Shouldn't she give that to her? She nodded once before turning to walk away. She made it through the door closing behind her, she made it to her car, she even made it into her car before she sniffled. She took a moment to process what she'd been told. Then she shook her head and jumped out of her car and marched back to the house.

She entered without knocking, not caring about manners, although she did gently close the door behind her. She marched back to the kitchen where she found Lexa standing at the sink, her back to the door. Clarke opened her mouth, ready to yell at her. Then she saw the other girl's shoulder shake as a quiet sob escaped from her lips.

Lexa was crying. She hadn't cried in years. She had told Clarke as much when they first met. Yet there she stood, crying over the kitchen sink. Without pausing to alert Lexa to her presence, Clarke crossed the room and slid her arms around her waist. She held tightly and pressed her face into her back between her shoulder blades.

When she felt Lexa tense and the muscles in her back flex like she was trying to turn around, Clarke shook her head and whispered, "No. I'm not okay with you getting space or time or over me."

"Clarke," Lexa whimpered. "You can't do this."

"Yes I can. This isn't just about you. I may be confused but… I don't know how to explain it. I just know walking away from you is the last thing I need. Everything in me is telling me it'd be the worst mistake of I'd ever make."

This time when Lexa started to turn, Clarke let her. She gently wiped the tears from Lexa's face and smiled before wrapping her arms around her waist again.

"I don't want to just walk away. That'd be the easy thing to do." Clarke murmured. She considered her next words carefully before she whispered, "I'd like for you to wait."

"You want me to wait?" Lexa repeated as she stiffened again. "So I wait while you, what? See if everything works out with Collins? You want to make sure your back up plan is secure?"

Clarke tightened her hold on her waist when Lexa tried to push her away. "I didn't say that. Stop putting words in my mouth. I want you to let me talk to Finn. I want you to let me sort through my feelings, including all the ones I've been ignoring."

"Ignoring?"

"It isn't all one-sided Alexandria, I know you can see that when you look at me."

After a pause, Lexa nodded, "I'd hoped I wasn't imagining that."

"I was never mad at you for being a woman by the way." Clarke smile grew shy.

"Excuse me?"

"You said you knew I couldn't have feelings for you because you're a woman. That was never something I'd be upset with you over. I was mad that you didn't tell me what you thought about Finn. You never mentioned how much you disliked him. You always seemed to get along so great with him." Clarke explained. "Your being a woman was never what had me upset."

Clarke dropped her head until it was pressed against Lexa's shoulder and held tightly. Lexa's arms wound around her, her hands slowly running up and down Clarke's back. Neither girl could say how long they stood like that, holding each other as innocently as possible while their friendship branched into new territory. Neither wanted to be the first to let go. It wasn't until Lexa's mother arrived home that the girls finally broke apart.

After exchanging pleasantries with Mrs. Woods Clarke found an excuse to get Lexa to walk her to the door again. The girls stepped on to the front porch together, closing the door behind them and heading down the steps toward Clarke's car.

Lexa pulled her into her arms, pressing their foreheads together again. "I'll wait Clarke. I know you need to sort out those ignored feelings. I know it can't be easy, figuring all this out at once."

"I know." Clarke looked into her eyes. She huffed out a breath, "I want to… but I can't."

"You can't what?"

"I can't until I talk to Finn."

"Finn?" Lexa was confused.

Clarke nodded. "If I'm going to do this, if we are going to do this, we're going to do this right. You deserve that."

"I have no idea what you're talking about Clarke." Lexa squeezed her a little tighter.

"I've stopped ignoring my feelings. Now all I want to do is kiss you goodbye." Clarke replied sheepishly.

"What?" Lexa's jaw dropped.

"I know. It's a new feeling for me too." Clarke couldn't stop the giggle from escaping. "I didn't think I'd get here this quickly. But the want is so there."

"But…" Lexa blinked a few times. "Finn?"

"I won't kiss you when I'm wearing his ring. I won't tell you all the things, all the feelings, I've been ignoring about you while I'm wearing it either." Clarke clarified. Her eyes dropped to Lexa's plump lower lip again. Then, with a sigh and a shake of her head she said, "So… I'll be back. I don't know when. Soon I hope. But I have to talk to Finn."

"Right," Lexa nodded. She loosened her grip on the blonde, "So I should probably let you go then."

"No!" Clarke's arms tightened around her neck, "not just yet. You're my strength remember? And that's exactly what I'm going to need to go and do this."

Lexa smiled brightly before squeezing her and burying her face in the crook of her neck.