I Will Sing You a Lullaby

Chapter 1

All characters are property of Nashville ABC.

Once there was a way to get back homeward
Once there was a way to get back home
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby

Golden slumbers fill your eyes
Smiles awake you when you rise
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby

Once there was a way to get back homeward
Once there was a way to get back home
Sleep pretty darling do not cry
And I will sing a lullaby

(Golden Slumbers, The Beatles)

It's a rare Saturday morning that Rayna Jaymes can sleep in; a rare Saturday that she doesn't have to be anywhere or take anyone anywhere. She finally has time to sleep in and yet she's restless, up before the sun.

It's Teddy's week with the girls and hard as she tries she still can't get used to this arrangement. She spent so many years being away from Maddie & Daphne while she was touring and now it seems so unfair that she's at home and they still can't be together. She finds herself missing her family desperately.

The house is too quiet so she flips on the TV to get her mind off of her loneliness. She flips to a special about the Beatles and their 50th anniversary tour. Paul McCartney's singing Golden Slumbers. Once there was a way to get back homeward…Homeward. Right. She doesn't even know what that means anymore. What is there to get back to? A big empty house? A bottle of wine to get to sleep? Her home used to be such a warm place, full of love and energy. What happened to those sweet times, when her children were small and she and Teddy would lie in bed on weekend mornings, reading the paper, cuddling, laughing? Where did they get to? Teddy had never been the love of her life, but they were happy together, content. They were a family.

Tired of wallowing in her own thoughts she decides she may as well go out for some coffee to get her mind off of things. Not wanting to run into anyone in her own neighborhood, she heads over to Frothy Monkey on 12South. She prefers the vibe there anyway and she knows they'll almond milk for her latte.

Standing in line she sees a man holding the tiniest baby, swaying side to side.

She knows the sway, that "mom sway," that sway that seeps into your soul and never quite leaves you after years of rocking babies to sleep, of singing them lullabies. She's swaying now as she waits in line. Once you're a parent, it doesn't matter if your children are in your arms or far away, your body still wants to rock itself, to soothe.

She finds herself mesmerized by the baby, remembering what it was like to hold a newborn, to feel the comfort of holding your whole world in your arms. Her mind inevitably wanders to what things may have been like with Deacon. Would they still be together now, lounging in bed on a brisk weekend morning? What would he have even been like with a baby? He'd been really cute with Scarlett; but Scarlett was a toddler by the time Rayna met her. Sure, he'd held Maddie and Daphne once or twice but to call those moments awkward would be the understatement of the decade. The situation did not allow for either of them to relax into the moment.

The man must have felt her eyes upon him, because it doesn't take him long to look up at her. She is flustered when she realizes those eyes peering into hers belong to the man of her dreams. How did she not realize that? Obviously she was preoccupied. They lock eyes for what seems like days. Her heart races and her breath catches in her throat.

"Ray."

He says nothing more, he seems unable to speak. She doesn't move. Finally Deacon walks over to her, still cradling the baby. He seems to remember himself and gestures over to a man in the corner with another young child.

"You remember Bobby, Juliette's old band leader?"

"Bobby! Hey, how are you? Are these two both yours?"

They make small talk with Bobby. His wife is home with the flu so he was out on his own with their newborn and their one year old. He insisted he had everything under control, though, and they were off to their baby gym class.

"You look good with a baby," Rayna compliments Deacon after Bobby heads out with his kids.

They share a smile, perhaps a bit of a sad one.

"What are you doing out so early on a Saturday?"

"Oh, you know, just grabbing some coffee," she says, feigning enthusiasm, perky smile plastered across her face.

"The girls with Teddy?"

"Yeah," she confesses

"You interested in maybe joining me for some breakfast? "

"You taking pity on me, Deacon Claybourne?" Deacon grins boyishly. "That sounds fun."

They take a corner table and enjoy light conversation as they wait for their coffee and eggs. Deacon tells her Bobby has taken a job as a music teacher. It's not as exciting as being on the road, but it allows him to be home with his kids.

"So, how are you doing, you know, being away from the girls? It must be different to be apart from them while you're at home."

"It's hard," she admits. "I was feeling a little nostalgic this morning, for when the girls were little."

"Deacon looks down at his coffee

"I'm sorry. That was probably insensitive if me."

"I asked."

"You seemed really comfortable with Bobby's little guy."

"Well, he had his hands full and, and I guess I'm not as scared of kids as I used to be."

"Do you ever think about, I dunno, having more kids? Do you feel like, like you missed out on a lot?"

"I guess, I dunno, I try not to think about it. I've been...enjoying the time I spend with Maddie and honestly, I can't even imagine loving another little person any more than that. Another child, that is."

"I felt like that before Daphne was born. I didn't think I'd possibly have enough love to go around but, instead of my heart dividing them up to share the love I already had, it just…seemed to expand. I miss holding them in my arms, that sweet, innocent time just smiling at them for hours-without then rolling their eyes at me!" Her last comment lightens the mood. "Sometimes…sometimes I get sad thinking about not ever experiencing those moments again, or being pregnant again, having another life growing inside of me...those little butterfly flutters..." She trails off, worried that she's said too much, but when she looks up at Deacon he's smiling.

"You've never talked to me much about those times in your life."

She shrugs a little. "I guess they were…bittersweet. So," she says, changing the subject," what do you have planned for the rest of the day?"

He chuckles. "Actually, I agreed to do a song for this country lullabies album...by Monday. I don't know where to begin or what I was thinkin' agreein' to this. And I'm having some work done on my cabin so I need to drive up there to check it out. Maybe some inspiration will hit me on the drive."

"Are you going up there by yourself?" she boldly asks him.

"I am," their eyes meet. "Do you feel like taking a ride?"