It wasn't like Hater didn't enjoy the sex.
Quite the opposite, actually. Sex with Wander was, admittedly, the best he'd ever had.
Okay, so it was the only sex he'd ever had. It was still the best.
If someone had told him six months ago that he'd enjoy sleeping with Wander, that person would be dead.
Sure, the first time had been... awkward, to say the least. It had been rushed, desperate, needy sex, mostly because Wander had been in heat and Hater, as one could guess, had basically no clue what he was doing, so he pretty much let Wander do whatever.
But on some level, it was really, really good. And as the week went on, it had only gotten better.
Of course, then Phillie had shown up, and (once they were finished, of course) Wander had left with her.
He had assumed it to be a one-time (okay, one week) thing. He didn't see Wander for a month after his heat ended, and though the memories may have come up a few times... in the middle of the night... when Hater was all alone and couldn't sleep...
Okay, so maybe there was just a tiny part of Hater that was hoping it would happen again.
But, y'know, he wasn't really expecting that it would.
The first time they saw each other after Wander's heat was, like their first time, awkward and completely unexpected.
Hater was in the middle of conquering a planet.
Wander was exploring said planet with Sylvia.
Somehow, they managed to run into each other.
Literally.
"No, you morons! I told you, I want that statue of me over there!" Hater bellowed at a group of Watchdogs, who groaned and started to slowly move the ten-foot marble monument to Hater to its intended destination.
Hater sighed, slapping a gloved hand to his forehead. "Honestly, why do even put up with these- Oof!"
Hater stumbled forward, startled by something running into him. He turned around, glaring menacingly.
"Hey! Watch where you're go... ing..." The skeleton trailed off, his grimace dropping off his face. "O-Oh, um..."
Wander smiled at him, clutching the map he was holding nervously. "H-Hey, Hater!"
Hater swallowed hard, praying that his face wasn't as flushed as it felt. "Uh... H-Hello, Wander. What are you..." He cleared his throat. "Sh... Shouldn't you be with your Zbornak friend?"
Wander hesitated briefly, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "E-Er, well, we... she wanted to, um, stay in town for a little while longer, so I went to go look around..." The nomad turned his gaze to his shoes. "And quite honestly, I'm a bit lost." He looked up. "I don't suppose you know how to get back, do ya?"
Hater cleared his throat again, not looking at Wander. "Th... There's a path over that way. Keep following it and you should get there in no time."
Wander grinned at him. "Thanks!" He waved as he ran down the path. "Later, Hater!"
The overlord didn't reply, instead waiting for Wander to disappear over the hills before returning to yelling at his minions.
That night, Hater couldn't sleep.
He tossed and turned in his luxurious sleeping bag, grumbling in irritation.
He couldn't stop remembering... things.
Things like Wander's face when he orgasmed, or the sounds he made when Hater found about what happened whenever someone rubbed his ankles, or that lusty look in his blue eyes when he first saw-
Jebus motherfuck, NO!
Hater growled in frustration as he finally wriggled out of his sleeping bag, quietly sneaking out of his tent.
He didn't want to risk Peepers or the men, who were all in tents around the campsite, finding out what he was doing. It was humiliating enough that just one meeting with Wander was enough to get him this riled up; he really didn't need to get caught with his pants down.
Literally, in this case.
With one last furtive glance behind him, the conqueror ducked into the nearby woods, walking until he found a secluded little grove of trees.
Hater sighed, leaning his head back against a tree.
"Can't believe I'm about to do this..." He grumbled as he hitched up his robe, grimacing at the bulge in his underwear. "You just can't be on my side, can you." He paused. "And I'm talking to my penis. Great."
With another heavy sigh, the overlord pulled his boxers over his hips, letting them drop to the ground as he started to rub himself. He moaned slightly as he settled into a rhythm, his eyes shutting involuntarily.
Wander's smile flashed before his eyes, and he gasped as a shiver went up his spine.
"Nggh... Wander..." Hater moaned as he sped up his pace, panting as his hips thrust forward slightly. He imagined Wander's lips wrapped around the head of his cock, his tongue swirling around the tip, his hands moving to fondle his testicles...
Hater threw his head back, shuddering from the stimulation and the image.
"W-Wander... F-fuck..."
He could practically hear the little nomad moaning in pleasure, just like he had when Hater had pinned him to the bed and-
Wait... He wasn't imagining that moaning.
Hater froze, releasing his still-hard cock.
"Who's there?!" He demanded as he hiked his boxers over his hips, his hands glowing with rage-fueled energy, though admittedly he probably didn't look too menacing with his face bright green and his dick at half mast and glowing in his underwear.
A nearby bush rustled, and Hater grinned evilly. Slowly, he crept over to the offending plant, pausing briefly before reaching inside.
"Gotcha!" He yelled as he grabbed something that yelped in surprise, pulling it out.
His flush deepened when he saw the orange Star Nomad.
"W... W... Wander?!"
The Star Nomad reddened, his hat hiding his crotch as he smiled sheepishly at the overlord. "H... Hi."
Hater swallowed hard, gently placing the nomad on the ground. "I... I thought you were back in the town."
Wander stared at his feet, clutching the hat tightly. "I... I was, but..." He sighed. "I... I lied, earlier. I wasn't really lost, I knew exactly where I was going. I..." He took a deep breath. "I-I just really wanted to see you, honestly." He looked up at Hater. "To tell the truth, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. About..." He swallowed a lump in his throat. "About what we did."
Hater gaped at him for a moment, then dropped to his knees, hesitantly leaning forward and pressing his mouth to Wander's, just for a moment. Wander's eyes widened, unable to move or react.
"I... I can't stop thinking about you, either." He mumbled after he pulled away, moving his hands to hold either side of the nomad's face. "It's crazy, but... when I saw you today, I..." He cleared his throat. "I guess you can tell what happened."
Wander grinned at him, pulling Hater's face to his and kissing him deeply. The overlord moved the wanderer's hat away from his crotch, pressing against him. Wander moaned as he broke away, pulling Hater's boxers back down just enough to free his erection.
"I... I don't have anything," The nomad whispered. "What should we-"
The overlord suddenly spread Wander's legs, getting between them and rubbing his cock against Wander's. The nomad gasped, squirming from the friction.
"We... We can do other things besides that."
Even in his lust-addled state, the nomad was curious. "I... I thought that you said that you'd never been with anyone else."
Hater flushed. "W-Well, um, yes, but... I... Well, you know what they say about the Galaxynet."
"Huh?"
"It's, um... That is, they say that it's for, er... well, porn." The overlord managed to say.
Wander didn't respond to that immediately, and instead moved his hips slightly. "Well, let's put what you've observed into practice, shall we?" The nomad purred suggestively.
Hater barely managed to bite back a moan, sliding his cock against Wander's. The nomad let out a gasp, wrapping his arms around his partner's neck, his toes curling in delight.
"H-Hater... Oh, oh, fuck, Hatey!" He cried, his hips jutting forward.
Hater gasped, a shiver going down his spine when he heard the nomad curse. He'd never found cursing all that arousing, mostly because he had long associated cursing with crap blowing up in his Father's lab (which happened. A lot), but coming from Wander...
Well, it was practically dirty talk coming from the clean-mouthed wanderer.
"Shit, W-Wander...!" With one last jerk, the overlord came, his partner following suit barely a second later.
Hater rolled onto his back next to Wander, the pair breathing heavily as they recovered.
"Wow..." The nomad managed to say after a moment.
"Wow indeed." Hater marveled. He grinned as he rolled onto his side to face his partner. "Did I seriously get you to say 'fuck'?"
Wander rolled his eyes, grinning sheepishly. "Oh, hush, you." He sat up, grabbing his hat and putting it on.
"This..." He started after a moment of silence. "This isn't gonna happen again, is it?"
Hater frowned, then sighed sadly. "You know that it can't, Wander."
"... Yeah." Wander turned to him, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. "Well, if it makes any difference, you were a pretty good partner." He stood up. "Y'know, for a beginner." He waved as he walked away. "Later, Hater!" He called as he disappeared into the forest.
Hater sighed, rolling back onto his back.
Well, he'd gotten it out of his system.
That was the last time he'd ever have sex with Wander.
It wasn't the last time.
In fact, they ended up sleeping together every time they met after that.
It didn't matter what they were doing, or where they were, or even how they ran into each other, they always managed to sneak off to hook up.
Sometimes several times in a single meeting.
And yeah, it was great.
Really, really great.
But...
Okay, while he loved sleeping with Wander, what he really wanted to do was sleep with Wander.
Like, literally, sleep with Wander.
As in, sleep in a bed, with cuddling and pillow talk and all sorts of other mushy things.
And not just that. He wanted to hold hands, go on dates, give each other silly pet names, just... all sort of couple-y cheesy things.
Which was really, really bad.
Hater was supposed to be on his way to becoming the greatest conqueror in the galaxy (after his mother, of course. No one was ever going to beat her in that regard).
He was supposed to be the bad guy.
The bad guy didn't get the girl. Or... guy, in this scenario.
This could only end badly.
So why did Hater want to try anyway?
This was what he was asking himself as he sat at the agreed rendezvous point in front of the hotel, waiting for Wander.
He tugged at his tie nervously, then loosened the knot a bit.
He hated to admit it, but Tuesday had been right about the suit thing. Part of him really couldn't believe that he was taking advice from a woman whose favorite game involved tapping a random guy on the shoulder, pointing to her brother, saying "Hi, have you met Thatcher?" and leaving him to fend for himself.
But when his sister was right, she was right. He looked... nice.
He sighed, gripping the bouquet in his left hand a little tighter. This was one of the times that he was thankful that he didn't technically have internal organs, because he was fairly sure that if he had had a stomach he would've vomited several times by now.
Why was he so nervous?
It was just Wander.
Wander, with that sweet smile, those blue eyes, that silly laugh-
Hater groaned, slapping his free hand to his forehead. Gob, he had it bad.
"Hater?"
The skeleton nearly jumped a foot in the air. "Uh, um, h-hello, Wander!" Hater stuttered as he turned to the nomad.
Wander whistled appreciatively. "Wow. You look great!"
Hater flushed bright green. "I-I, um, uh, th..." He cleared his throat. "Th-Thank you." He finally managed to say.
Wander grinned at him, then looked over at the bouquet. "Hey, who're the flowers for?"
Hater glanced down at his hand, then, with a hard swallow, briskly shoved the bouquet into the nomad's hand. "Here."
Wander blinked, then blushed as he took the flowers. "O-Oh! Oh, um..." He smiled shyly at Hater. "Why, thank you, Hatey!"
The conqueror didn't reply, instead simply staring off into the distance.
After a short, rather awkward silence, Wander cleared his throat.
"So! Shall we get to it?" He asked, jerking his thumb towards the building.
"Um, y-yeah, okay."
It wasn't going like Hater had hoped.
Though he couldn't say he disliked it all that much.
The moment that they had gotten into the hotel room, Wander had slammed the door shut and dragged Hater over to the bed, pulling the conqueror on top of him and kissing him deeply.
Hater wasn't quite sure when or how Wander had gotten his jacket, tie, and vest off, but that wasn't important right then.
"W... Wander..." He tried, pulling away from his partner a bit. The nomad kissed his jaw in response, undoing the last button on Hater's shirt.
"Wander..." Hater said again, a little louder.
Wander hummed in reply, sliding down a bit and fumbling with Hater's belt buckle.
"W-Wander, wait..."
The belt came off, Wander tossing it aside and unbuttoning Hater's pants, then moving towards the zipper-
"WAIT!" Hater bellowed, sitting up and pulling the nomad away from his crotch.
"What?! What's wrong?!" Wander asked, concern evident in his eyes.
Hater swallowed hard. "I..." He rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Th... There's something I want... something I need to talk to you about."
Wander stared at him for a minute. "Um... okay," he started cautiously, "What... What do you wanna talk about?"
The overlord cleared his throat, not looking Wander in the eyes. "I... Listen, I like this. H-Having... Having sex with you, I mean. But... I don't think that I can keep doing this."
Wander's expression was impossible to read. "Wh... What?"
Hater sighed. "Look, I... how should I put this... I like you. A lot. And-"
Wander suddenly held his hands out in front of him. "I... You don't have to say it, I understand."
The overlord blinked, shocked. "Y-You... you do?"
"Y-Yeah, I..." Wander swallowed hard. "Was kinda expecting it, really. I... I honestly didn't think it'd go on this long, actually."
"Wait, what are you talking about?"
"You... you want stop meeting up with me like this, right?"
"Well, yes, but... you're making it sound like I'm, I don't know, breaking up with you or-"
"Well, aren't you?"
"What?!" Hater cried out incredulously. "Wander, no, I-"
"I-It's okay, Hater," Wander interrupted, his voice shaky. He moved on of his hands to his eyes, and Hater realized that he was crying. "You... you don't have to explain yourself. I know th-that... that... oh, goodness..." Wander managed to say before breaking down entirely, sobbing forlornly and covering his face with his hands.
Hater stared at him for a moment, trying desperately to think of something to say that would stop the Star Nomad from crying while also getting his message across, but failing to do so.
Fuck it.
Hater gently pulled the nomad's hands away from his eyes, quickly moving them to either side of Wander's tear-soaked face and tilting his chin up slightly before leaning in and capturing Wander's lips with his own. The nomad made a high-pitched noise of surprise, but quickly kissed the other back, pulling at Hater's shirt collar and turning his head to allow the conqueror's tongue better access. Suddenly, Hater broke away, looking Wander dead in the eye with a gravely serious expression on his face.
"Will you go out with me?"
Wander's eyes widened. "Wh... What?"
Hater flushed, but his expression remained the same nevertheless. "I... Will you go out with me? Like... be my boyfriend, or something? Oh, gob, that sounded less stupid in my head, I-"
"Yes."
The conquer recoiled in surprise. "W-Wait, really? You... you mean it? Y-You're not just screwing with me, are you?"
Wander grinned, leaning over and pecking Hater on the lips. "I'm serious, love. I want to go out with you. If I'm being honest, I've been wonderin' if I should ask you myself."
Hater stared at him for a moment before his mouth spread into a huge grin. "Really?"
"Yeah. Only reason I didn't say anything was cause I didn't know if you felt the same way!"
The skeleton couldn't help but laugh a bit at that, then leaned in, kissing his boyfriend deeply.
"So, do you think we should tell them that we know?"
Sylvia leaned back on the barstool, taking a long drink out of her mug. "Nah. Let's just let them tell us when they're ready and act surprised."
Peepers sighed, leaning on the counter in the hotel's bar. "That might not be too long a wait, honestly. I heard Hater rehearsing this big speech last night; the words 'will you go out with me' were mentioned quite a few times."
Sylvia snorted. "'Bout damn time," Sylvia deadpanned before taking another drink. "Honestly, I'm getting sick of pretending I don't notice when Wander runs off!"
Peepers laughed. "Hey, barkeep! Another round, on me!"
The bar, which was filled with Watchdogs, erupted with cheers.