Disclaimer: The Hunger Games is not mine. If I were Suzanne Collins, I don't think I'd be here.
AN: This fic had originally been published back in 2013. It had been taken down when I went through the purging of my account. People have asked for it to be returned though, and so here it is, back on the site.
No Matter What
Marvel stood backstage with all the rest of the Tributes. After an exhausting couple of weeks, with grueling training sessions and nights where sleep seemed to sometimes didn't come despite the desire to, the interviews had finally come. Behind him, he could see the Tributes all standing. Some were nervous and afraid. Others looked completely lost, like they weren't sure what to think. Behind him, Cato and Clove kept an air of confidence and security. They weren't afraid. Not in the slightest. Years of intense training in the Academies of District 2 had prepared them for this night.
He smiled. Just like them, he was prepared for this night as well. He could still recall the Saturday nights when his mother would force him to stay up late so that he could practice with a professional interviewer coach. His coach had always told him that in the Capitol, it took more than just skills and appearance in order to make yourself desirable. You had to also have the winning personality. You needed to be able to charm the crowd with your personality. Back before interview coaching had been added to the list of things that all Careers trained in, many Careers suffered and even lost the Games because they didn't have a personality the Capitol loved. They were too vicious, too cold and menacing. While some Capitolites ate that stuff, others wanted a more real Tribute to root for. Someone they could connect with. Or someone they could look at and see more than just a killing machine. Since the twentieth Hunger Games though, all Careers were required to have some training in public speaking and interviewing. And needless to say, the public speaking training had proven to be just as helpful as lessons in weapons.
All those hours are finally going to pay off, he thought to himself. Finally. Training with that ridiculous coach is going to help me out.
He was snapped from his thoughts when someone touched his left shoulder. He turned his head, but saw nobody facing him. Realizing that whoever had their hand on his shoulder was smaller than him, he looked down. The person was none other than Clove. She wore a frilly orange dress with ribbon trim. The dress left her creamy white shoulders bare. Her brown hair was tied up in a bun at the top of her head, with some of it still managing to cascade down. "What do you want?" he asked her.
"Haven't you noticed that she isn't here?"
By 'she' Clove meant Glimmer. The sexy blond girl from District 1 who was Marvel's District Partner. She was also a Career like Clove, Cato, and him. Kids who were trained from an early age for the day they could enter the Hunger Games. Marvel turned to look in front of him and was surprised to see that she was right. Glimmer was not standing in front of him. Strange. She was there a few minutes ago. Looking pretty sexy with her blond hair all curled and shining, in her pink dress which revealed most of her body aside from a few choice places. Turning back to Clove, he said, "Well, I see now that she is. So what?" He doubted that the District 2 girl had pointed this out to him because she was concerned about his District partner.
The corner of Clove's lips lifted, forming her infamous smug. "Nothing really," she said. "Just thought I let you know. It would be a shame for her to miss her three minutes of glory because she's too nervous or something. Perhaps you ought to go look for her."
Marvel frowned. "If you're so concerned, why don't you look for her?"
Clove rolled her eyes. "'Cause for one, I don't really care if she does get up there or not. It just means more popularity and Sponsors for me. For two, she's your District partner, not mine. And three, because aside from Cato, she's one who's going to be really helping us pull in the most Sponsors."
When he heard this, Marvel raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said that you didn't care about whether or not she makes it? I'm not the most brightest person on this rock, but I think you worrying about Glimmer not being here because she's our Sponsor reaper means you care for her."
Cato, the boy from District 2 and Clove's District partner- and the one who had taken no interest in the conversation- suddenly joined in. "What about you not supposedly caring about Glimmer?" he asked Clove. Out of all of them, Clove was definitely the smallest, unless you counted the boy from 3 and both from 4. (Which none of them did, the boy from 3 was only in their alliance because of what he could do with mines. Only going to be around as long as they needed him. And both kids from 4 weren't really impressive.) So whenever Cato, Marvel, or even Glimmer talked with Clove, they had to look down so they could see her face. She hated it. Which made it all the more fun.
And right now, Clove was getting angry, mainly at Cato. She growled furiously at him. "I'm saying that it's almost ten minutes until the show starts and Glimmer isn't even out here. She said that she was going to head backstage to just be alone for a few moments. Well those few moments have turned into five minutes. And I'm pissed because aside from you, she's going to be the one who's going to help us pull in Sponsors."
Cato grinned arrogantly. "That sexy am I?"
Clove rolled her eyes. "Don't flatter yourself, it's really unattractive."
"So you do think I'm attractive?" Cato asked, his arrogant grin getting larger the more he teased.
"Yes, you're as attractive as a medium-rare steak. Good while it's sitting in front of you, better when there's a knife carving into it." There was a twinkle in her eyes when she said that. Secretly, Marvel thought that Clove loved knives so much she planned on marrying one.
"Come on," Cato said, flexing his arm muscles through the silver-colored suit that he wore. "You like it and you know it."
Marvel groaned and rolled his eyes. Whenever the two of them started these kind of arguments it could take hours before they finished. He really didn't feel like listening to it. "You know, I'm going to go look for Glimmer. Considering the alternative is getting my nerves worked up."
"Have fun," Clove said.
"Don't take too long," Cato added.
Opting not to say anything, Marvel made his way down the Corridor past the line of Tributes. His frustration roared whenever he thought of the the District 2 Tributes. He and Glimmer had agreed that as tradition goes, the Careers had to hook up and work together to knock out the other Tributes. The deal had been sealed when they saw the competition that they were facing with. There was that boy from 11, that little girl from 11 as well, and the two Tributes from District 12. He passed by the District 12 Girl Tribute, Katniss Everdeen, and shot her an icy glare. He knew she saw it, because she turned her head trying to avoid it. A surge of pride at the fact he had managed to make the Girl on Fire shrink flowed through him. I can't wait until you're gone Flame Girl, he thought.
'Cause the moment she was, he and Glimmer had to seriously start thinking about when to dissolve the alliance with District 2 and stab them in their backs before they knew what got them.
Of course, he could only do that if Glimmer was there. And right now he was having a heck of a time finding her. As he wandered the back stage he passed Avoxes and various crew members. None of them said a word in greeting (of course the Avoxes couldn't because their tongues had been cut out for committing crimes against the Capitol) which was fine by him. He really didn't feel like discussing his chariot ride, which had been outshone by both Katniss Everdeen and her partner Peeta Mellark as well as Cato and Clove. Nor did he wish to discuss his Training Score. Like Cato, Marvel took great pride in his abilities, and was none too happy when he found out that a girl from the Mining District had gotten a higher number than him. All he wanted to do was find Glimmer and return to the designated area so that they could do the interviews and be done with them.
But where the heck was she?
After wandering aimlessly around for three minutes, Marvel finally decided he should just forget finding Glimmer and make his way back to the rest of the Tributes. If she made it to her interviews, good for her. If not, whatever. It was her fault she didn't make it.
Just as he was about to turn around, he suddenly spotted her. There, standing in the middle of a circle of light which beamed down from a lamp hanging above her was Glimmer. The light made her dress and hair all the more breathtaking. Marvel's eyes widened, admiring her from a distance. Choosing not to say anything for a few moments. They still had another couple of minutes, no need to rush. He considered hiding behind a couple of large boxes to his right, but decided against it. His suit was a light blue color. It would blend into the dark just fine.
As he stood there in the darkness watching her, he noticed that in Glimmer's hand she held a small, compact mirror. From where he stood, he could see that she was looking at herself in it. Every once in a while she would take her hand and lightly trace imaginary lines on her face with her finger, so as not to ruin the makeup that her stylist had probably worked on for hours to perfect. The way she did it looked like she was searching for something. Something that use to be there but wasn't. There was a sad, depressed look in her eyes, which caused Marvel to raise his eyebrows. What's she sad about?
He hadn't expected an answer. Which was why he was surprised as he listened to Glimmer speak. To nobody in particular. Especially not to him. She didn't know he was there right? Yeah, he was pretty sure that she didn't. It was only to herself she thought she was speaking to. "It took you five different surgeries. One on your chin to make it less pointed, one on your cheeks to make them more full, and two on your nose so it was more thin and pointed. And that one to help make your vision absolutely perfect so you didn't have to wear glasses. Five surgeries, and now you're beautiful. At least to them."
Marvel's eyebrows rose in shock. He had a feeling that Glimmer had had some cosmetic surgeries to get her looking as stunning as she did. But thought they were just minor stuff. Nothing as major as making a chin less pointed or a nose more thin. In District 1, many of the Career girls who wanted to become Tributes for the Hunger Games got surgeries. It was expected of them. They were considered ditzes if they didn't. Clearly Glimmer had gone to the extreme. He wondered what her face looked like before all the surgeries. It was kind of hard, because he had never really seen Glimmer before she had volunteered to become District 1's Girl Tribute. Even though they had known each other since they had entered the Academy together. He could recall nothing at first. But then one image that he could recall came up. Back when they were both twelve years old and they were starting their classes in the Academy established specifically for training future Tributes. They were standing beside one another waiting to be assigned to a Trainer. She was beautiful back then. Even with those "flaws." And she had even worn her glasses on that day too! To be honest, back then, Marvel thought that she looked cute in glasses. Why did she need the surgeries? From what he could recall, her face was fine the way it was. Sure, maybe not the kind that people like Finnick Odair possessed, but it was natural and more real. And to be honest, in his eyes, maybe more beautiful on her.
He found his train of thought snapped as Glimmer continued speaking to herself. "Took you fifteen different kinds of diets. With different foods and combinations of diet medications. All within eight years. Now, you're beautiful. At least to them."
Fifteen different diets? Another surprise. Why the heck did Glimmer need to go on a diet, let alone fifteen? She was skinny enough. Her figure was perfect, not even flawed. That was when another image came to his mind. He could recall seeing Glimmer running on the track back when they were both in their third year of the Academy. He had been training with his spears with a couple other boys on a grassy field that had been centered in the track. Glimmer and a few other girls were working on their speed and endurance. Improving their ability to run during long periods of time. Before that, he recalled a time when she had been running through an obstacle course. She did pretty well in it, being able to avoid the obstacles with ease while other girls struggled jumping over hurdles or squeezing their way through thin wooden walls. Looking at her figure now, he realized that her figure had changed a lot. He knew he hadn't been paying attention to her, but still, shouldn't he of noticed this kind of stuff?
"It took you many hours of prep work," Glimmer continued, once again snapping Marvel from his train of thought. "Gallons of chemicals swished to make your teeth white as snow, perfection. Hundreds of hair-care products to make your hair shine. Hundreds of trips to the Makeover Centers to make sure all your nails were perfect. Thousands of creams to make sure you never got any acne. Hours spent in the stores making sure you only got the best clothes so that they could improve your appearance. Time without measure spent so that you could work on your personality. So that you can learn how to be sweet one moment, proud the next, and flirtatious the moment that followed. Now you're beautiful. At least to them."
Now Marvel truly was stunned. When he had first met Glimmer, she seemed like a nice girl as she was. She seemed pretty popular with the girls. They flocked around her and named her the leader of their group without a moment's pause. And all the guys practically drooled over her like a dog over a bone. Melting in her presence like butter on a hot summer day. Not just people in District 1 either. As the Capitolites and Cato had shown, her efforts weren't fruitless. Now he was starting to see why her popularity seemed rise higher than any other girl's. While they were busy relaxing at home after a long day of training or gathering at meeting places, she had been spending extra hours constructing her image. Building it to the point that the girls envied her and the boys couldn't get enough of her. Why? Wasn't she popular enough? Didn't enough people love her as she was?
Again his thoughts were interrupted as she continued. "It took you getting rid of some of your best friends when you were little. The ones who would hold you back and keep you from climbing the ladder. It took you every pain and suffering it felt whenever you smashed your friendships. Becoming friends with people who didn't even like you, and you didn't like too much yourself. Took you many long and lonely nights, wishing you had a true friend to talk to whenever the road got rough. And it took you a lot of boys being bedded with you. To show them that you loved them one night. Then the next cracking and destroying their hearts. Took you to the point where it practically ripped your hearts to shred. Because sometimes the things you said weren't lies. But you had to do it. For the sake of making yourself more desirable to the world. You did it. You're beautiful. At least to them."
He had seen some of the girls she was talking about. Many of them were snobbish and mean and cruel. Of course, when you were raised to be a Career, that was what was expected. You had to set aside all emotion. Lock it away or never look at it. But whatever you did, you never showed it. Emotion was the way the competition found your weaknesses. The way they discovered what made you tick. You had to learn to show emotion for interviews and such, but you couldn't live on them solely. Still, what Glimmer was discussing now seemed like a nightmare. When he was in training, all Marvel had to do was flirt and maybe show something a little more substantial every once in a while. But he never had to give himself away like the way she just described. It was both sick and strange. Why did a girl have to give more to earn somebody's attention than a guy did? All a guy had to do was maybe do a couple stupid things here and there on occasion. But a girl, especially one like Glimmer, had to do it nearly every day. Or in this case, nearly every night.
He felt his hands start to clench into fists. He gritted his teeth but said nothing. If he revealed himself now, he would never be able to hear everything Glimmer had gone through to get to where she was now. And he had to know. He had to understand. It didn't matter now if either one of them missed their interviews. For some reason, that was of the least importance.
He had been noticing that Glimmer had been saying 'At least to them' every time she told herself about the things she had done to accomplish what she had. He was starting to wonder why. And actually, what he wanted to know more though was who were the "Them" that she was talking about. He had actually been wondering about it for some time. But now, he wanted to know above everything else.
Who were "Them"?
And whether it was by chance or fate, the moment he thought about it, he soon had his answer. Glimmer took in a deep breath. She let it out slowly. She sniffled slightly. And he could see she was fighting to keep back tears. All her years of training were paying off, she was succeeding in holding them back. But you could tell there was nothing more she wanted to do more than just break down right there and cry. Release all the sorrows she suffered throughout her life. Only her determination to do well in the interviews was keeping those sorrows under lock and key. Once she had taken a deep breath and let it out, she spoke again. "It took eight long and grueling years. But you did it Glimmer. You're beautiful to Them. They think you're beautiful. Mom and Dad think you're beautiful."
Marvel felt his mouth drop. Her mom and dad made her do all those things? They forced her to become a walking doll? They forced her into shattering her friendships and forced her to do things she wasn't proud of so she could popularize herself? What kind of monsters did you have to be to willingly put your daughter through all that? How could anyone do that to their child? Having them train for the Hunger Games was one thing. At least then you could decide what kind of path you wanted to follow. Heck, you could even choose not to want to enter the Games at all. Just do it so you could learn how to fight in case you did get in and no one took your place. (Not likely going to happen in 1, but it was a possibility.)
"Three minutes until the Interviews start," came a feminine voice on an announcer. "All Tributes, if you are not in the assigned corridor, please make your way there now. The show will start in three minutes."
After hearing the woman finish her announcement, Marvel knew he needed to get to the Corridor. But something inside him told he needed to wait just a few more seconds. There was something that needed to be done first. He wasn't sure what, but he listened to the feeling anyway. He stood where he was, and continued to watch Glimmer. Wondering what she would say next, if anything at all.
He watched as Glimmer, who had turned her head when she had heard the woman's voice on the announcer, turned to her little compact mirror once more. For a moment she stood there, looking at her reflection. Then he watched as a determined expression appeared on her face. She took in a deep breath, and let it out. And finally she said, "You're beautiful. It doesn't matter what any of them think of you. No matter what they say or do. You're beautiful. Always."
Glimmer then closed the little compact mirror. She pressed a small little button on the compact mirror, and it became even more compact. So small that instead of taking up the whole surface of her hand, it now only took up a fourth of it. Then she slid it into the back of her dress. Even if it was almost entirely see-through, Marvel was surprised that it blended in nicely. You didn't even notice it unless you were looking for it. And her back would be turned away from the audience anyway, so nobody would find anything.
She then turned in Marvel's direction and started walking. She came to a stop though as soon as she spotted him. Standing in the dark, watching her. A surprised and slightly frightened expression appeared on her face, and her body jumped in fear. But she quickly steeled herself over. The Glimmer that had been letting out her insecurities was gone, the one that nobody else knew besides those she was close with and now him knew. The Career Glimmer had returned. She cast him a glare. "What are you doing back here?" she asked harshly.
He wanted to lie at first and say that he just got bored and wanted to wander. But for some reason, he chose not to. "You were gone for a while, so I came back here to look for you. Make sure you didn't get lost or something."
"Believe me, I wasn't lost. I knew exactly where I was going." She paused for a few moments. He could tell that in her head, she must have been debating over what to say next. Finally she asked, "How long have you been standing there?"
Again, he wanted to lie and say he was just standing there, but decided against it. "Long enough," he said. He paused for a few moments before adding, "Long enough to now know there's more to you than meets the eye."
There was a flash of anger that crossed Glimmer's face at first. But she sighed. She must have decided that it was useless. He had heard what he had heard. There was no way to cancel it. "That's what I get for allowing myself a few moments of weakness," she muttered.
Marvel shrugged. "Sometimes that's a good thing. Allow yourself a few moments, and then you resume your strength. Keeps you relaxed and helps keep you in the Game."
Glimmer's expression hardened. She walked up to him and using her recently manicured index finger, she poked him squarely in the chest. Her tone was chilled like ice. "You repeat none of this to anyone else. No one. Not that boy from 3. Not them kids from 4. Not even Cato and Clove. You got that? The only one who knows is you. You tell anyone else, and I find out about it, I will be sure to kill you the moment I can. Whether it be at the cornucopia or in the end. You got that?"
Marvel carefully removed her finger, which had settled on his chest after poking roughly four times there. "Fine," he said. "Agreed. I won't tell anyone. I won't even tell an Avox. I swear it."
He waited for her to ask for some sign that he would keep his word. But she didn't. She merely nodded. Apparently, whatever she knew about him, she knew he wasn't an oath breaker. "Good."
"Let's start heading back stage before they start wondering where we are."
"Yeah. Don't want to be late. And Cato and Clove probably think we're having a fling."
"Thought you and Cato were having at it last night? I mean, I could hear you two above me. Capitol really needs to make ceilings thicker or something."
"Yeah, we were. And are. But you never know what Cato and Clove will think. I'll have to reassure Cato tonight. He'll reassure Clove, and everything will be back to the way it was." She then turned to him as they walked. "And you are going to pretend you heard nothing of what I said. Got it?"
"Got it."
"Great."
They reached the entrance to the Corridor. Just as they were about to enter though, Marvel pulled her aside. "But, there is one thing I think I should say first before we go out there."
"Better be quick. I'm going to be up in a minute."
"I just want you to know that as long as this Alliance lasts, you'll never be alone. I'll be right here. If you ever need to talk, let me know. I will be more than happy to listen. Heck if you want to talk before one of us kills the other in the Arena, that's fine with me. I don't want you to die with a heavy heart."
Glimmer smiled. It was an amused smile, but it was a genuine one nonetheless. "You know how to make a girl feel special don't you Marvel?"
He smiled. "Well, I try."
"And by the way," she added. "I'll be more than happy to do the same for you. If you want to talk before we kill the other, let me know. Preferably before I send an arrow into your neck. Kind of hard to talk with you if you're gurgling up blood and making sounds like a choking fish."
"Deal. And Glimmer, one more thing."
"What?"
Marvel paused for a moment, trying to think of different ways to phrase what he was about to say next. He had never been good with words though. (English was one of all the school subjects that didn't involve training for the Hunger Games that he struggled with.) So finally he just said, "I think you're beautiful. No matter what."
The next thing he knew was that Glimmer had placed a kiss on his cheek. It was quick, only happening in a matter of seconds. And it was light too. Nothing extremely major. But it had happened nonetheless. And then in his ear- which she had to stand on her toes so she could reach because he was taller than her- she whispered, "Thank you."
Marvel could feel his hand sliding up to his cheek as he and Glimmer walked down the Corridor, passing the other Tributes. Feeling a tinge of a blush start to appear in his cheeks. He quickly steeled the emotion over when they reached the front. By the expressions Cato and Clove gave them, he figured they thought that he and Glimmer weren't going to make it back in time.
"See you finally made it back in time," Cato commented.
"Have a little backstage fun while the rest of us stood here?" Clove sneered.
Glimmer rolled her eyes. "Please. He's the last person I would want to do that with." Though with a quick glance his way, Marvel saw that she was telling him that perhaps if things were different, she may have actually considered him something more than just a "friend." If that could be the proper word for it. Whatever, it suited Marvel just fine. He smiled at her to let her know he had gotten her message.
The Anthem started playing. Then Caesar Flickerman was announced. After a few minutes of bantering with the crowed and making witty and hilarious comments, he then moved on to start the interviews. He called Glimmer out first, and Marvel watched as she made her way out on the stage. Smiling from ear-to-ear, waving to the Capitol audience who were roaring with cheers and applause. Within minutes of their interview Glimmer was flirting and laughing. Portraying the sexy angle that her stylist had wanted her to. From the TV screen at the top of the door, Marvel watched her. Sorrow and pity swept through him. Again, he had to steel over his emotions. But it was hard. Considering what he now knew about her. What she had done to get to where she was now, and why she did it.
Clove made a disgusted sound, sticking out her tongue. "Blek. This stunt had better get us some Sponsors. Or else I'm going to cut off a finger for each minute of torture she put me through."
If only you knew what she went through, Marvel thought.
If only they all knew.