I know this chapter is short, but it is only the first chapter. I want at least 5 reviews before I continue this. :)
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"Amy, we need to talk." Ben quietly said to me, as we stood in the kitchen. He was carefully watching me while I was feeding John and also trying to make dinner at the same time. I stopped what I was doing and turned around and folded my arms together.
"Okay, let's talk. But about what?" I was frustrated at him. I knew what he wanted to talk about, and I thought that I had made it clear to him that I wasn't ready. Ben looked down at the floor as he collected his thoughts together, he sighed and frowned while slowly walking closer to me.
"I think that maybe I should give you some space for a while. I just need some time to think. I still love you, Amy. And I hope we can be friends. I just really cannot do this anymore." I looked at him and scowled. Why was he breaking up with me? I hadn't done anything wrong that should make him break up with me. He said he loved me. If he loved me, he would understand my feelings and why I didn't want to take our relationship any further.
"Ben, you can't be serious. You're breaking up with me just because I won't have sex with you?" I glared angrily into his eyes, and saw pain in his and how hard it was for him to do this to me.
"It isn't really about that, exactly. It's just every time I look at you, Amy, it feels as if you're trying to push me away. And I love you, I do, it's just so hard. You have a baby and I understand that our relationship is never going to be as strong as it was, and you're feelings for me have also changed. It seems that you want Ricky around a whole lot more than you do me. And I know it's because he's the father of John." Tears were almost welling up into his eyes. He turned his face down to the ground to hide his face and spoke strongly through his tears. "I just can't do this anymore. I just can't."
I held my breath for a few seconds and pondered what I had just heard. It was difficult for me to believe that Ben was breaking up with me. But in a way I wasn't too surprised. Though I wasn't expecting this now. Ben swiftly turned his body around toward the door, so that I wouldn't see him crying, and he stood in the doorway. He stood there for a while with his back turned towards me, but finally he spoke. "I love you, Amy. I know that I am doing the right thing." He shut the door slowly behind him and left me here alone with John. I suddenly broke down in tears, falling down on my knees on the floor and crying my eyes out.
"I love you too, Ben!" I yelled through my tears. I knew that he was probably long gone by now, but I yelled as loud as I could, my voice cracking after every word. I felt like I was alone in the world, and no one could ever truly understand what I was going through. John suddenly broke into a loud burst of tears and yelling. I wiped the tears from my eyes and managed to pull myself up, holding on to the counter as my body felt weak and was trembling. I carefully picked up John from his bassinet and held him, as I cried along with him. I knew that I could never get him to stop crying on my own. I couldn't do anything to help him. I took out my phone and dialed a number. Ricky's.
The phone rang twice before he answered. "Hello?"
"H-Hello? Ricky?" I stammered. I tried the best I could to keep my voice steady, but as hard as I tried, I could not succeed. My voice was cracking, and I could not control my tears any longer.
"Yeah? Amy? Is everything okay?" He asked, his voice sounding worried and concerned.
It took me a while before I could respond to him. Everything was not okay, but I didn't feel like I should tell him what just happened. "I- It's nothing." I reassured him, moving away from the phone for a few seconds so I could try to keep my voice steady, "It's- It's just John. He's crying. M- My mom isn't here, and I don't have anyone that can help me." After I said that last line, my voice cracked again. I said it as if I were talking about Ben and not John.
Ricky seemed to notice how upset I was. He most likely assumed that something was wrong, because he spoke with concern. "I can be over there in a minute. Is he okay? Are you okay?"
"He- He's fine. I think I- I think I'm fine. I just don't know what to do!" I stuttered, but this time I didn't try to control my tears. I didn't hold back at all, I just let everything go and didn't stop myself.
"Don't worry. I'm on my way right now."
