It has been like 20 years that I was first went head over heels to the loveliest crossing guard in the world. Then, she became my everything. But before that, this old man was at the time of his life.

I was everything that a bachelor was. I had a cool apartment. I was an avid baseball fan. I became part of a dance crew in my apartment complex. I had an entire collection of rock-n-roll emblems. And best of all, I got the coolest car in town, a Mustang convertible.

I was living the high life as a happy bachelor. Even everyone in town likes me. Well, not everyone in town, since at one moment going to work, I was pulled over by a crossing guard for not stopping by the yellow light.

As a professional salesman and an expert talker, I did myself to talk my way out of the situation, but I got some serious competition in the Wittiness Cup.

The crossing guard said, "Sir, I am afraid that you violated Ordinance…"

"I know. I know, ma'am. I know I violated traffic regulations. But in my defense, I am color blind."

"Oh, really sir? May I ask, if that you're color blind, why were you permitted to drive?"

"I was trained…to drive…by a specialist. Need this on the job."

She knew I was bluffing at the top of my head. No words could escape me. "Alright sir, I need to ask of your driver's license."

"Oh, this is how we do it. You, with the ability to stop time, can just stop me for going to work on time. Now, I have to suffer a market drop from my sales of kitchenware."

"You sell kitchenware?"

"Yeah. Why? Kitchen up on the business. Hehehe. Get it?"

"Not a knife joke, sir."

"Yep." I followed the crossing guard to her station nearby the intersection. But out of my wits, I "mistakenly" gave to her instead my credit card wallet keeper.

"Uhmm sir, this is your credit card."

"Oh, sorry about that. Such a klutz. I must have left it in my compartment back at the car."

"Alright, let's get it."

"No ma'am. I will be quick. I will get it for you."

Her eyes glared at me suspiciously, knowing I was up to something. Nevertheless, she leads me to the door. Then I fled away from her station and towards my car. She tried to catch me up by tasing me, but she only reached my leg, which was painful, but I got to my car in a snap. Ooh, what a success that was.

Just the day of a life as a kitchenware salesman. Speaking of which, I was assigned on a megasupermarket on downtown. Everyday was like pitching the idea to willing customers to try out the best utensils that J. A. Henckels could ever craft.

"This, my friend, is a Four Star series Henckels kitchen knife, best to use for the any food needed cutting. Fruits, vegetables, pork, beef, chicken fish, the whole enchilada. Indeed, the best cutlery you need for the all the slicing and dicing." I keep barking out those words to onlookers and passersby. It was the best time for me to encourage people. Encouragement is a lovely thing. That's why encouraging people to buy our products is good.

"You're looking at a TWIN cuisine tournament knife, the best in the market to feel like a ninja chef. Smooth, suave and stainless. You can pierce this easily to the thickest turkey in the market, like you can pierce a woman's heart." Luckily, I told that line to a group of European cuisine college students.

"Can you use that to stab your enemies?" one dude with a mullet asked that question.

"Not unless those enemies are afraid of Henckels special Twin series kitchen blade," I answered. And another person comes, and another one comes, and another, all in the day.

"May I present you this spoon and fork set. This is best to set the mood of your most romantic date."

"Henckels Four Star knife set, the best cutlery company in the business. Sharply dressed for your dressed chicken. And such a knife way to use on every occasion."

"On the flipside, you got your best spatula in the house. The head designed with plastic sustainability and gastronomic technology that you can use to catch the stars."

"Let me get to the point. This point, Professional 'S' series, stainless and smooth silver-textured. The 'S' stands for sophisticated."

Like I said, everyday felt like a pitch you do to your bosses. In fact, customers are the bosses of the town.

But one boss ain't like the rest of customers that stepped up.

"Excuse me, do you sell egg beaters?" that customer asked.

She ain't like other customers. She was so heavenly at sight. She got curly golden locks that wave perfectly as the wind passes. She got a pearl necklace that decorated her neck with pride. She was in a pink dress with white polka dots, supported by a red bow on her waist. And she was walking with white heels. She approached me like an angel. How angelic in sight!

I tried to utter my first words for such a wonderful lady. Thankfully, I overcame it like professional salesmen do, "Oh, yes. Madame, we do."

Then I showed her the latest model of egg beaters that Henckels has in stock right now. "Here's our finest egg beaters. Easy to handle with a non-slippery metal handle grip. Best for your baking and cooking solutions."

"Those are such deep words I gotta say."

"Well, that's for people with passion for bringing the best utensils for their lovely customers." I flirted a little bit to that customer that I tend to push it to the next level. "So, what you need it for?"

"I plan to set up my own café. So I started it in the kitchen with experimenting on pastries and baked delectable. Need to impress my backup partners. I mean investors, though."

"Hmmm…need kitchen tools you say?" And with that, I showed her all our products. We bonded over talking about utensils and then to cooking. From that day on, she visited me at work to ask for advice on kitchen artillery. There, that time, I knew that she was the one, the one that I want to be with till death do us apart, the one that I want to love all my life.

"Hey, I wasn't able to catch your name," I said to her.

And she answered, "Linda."

O' those words reminded me of tender sweet paradise, a tropical paradise. "Loud. Lynn Loud. Sr. That's with a Sr. hehe."

Glad I introduced myself in the last minute. I thought I would lose such a darling face. But in such a miracle, our relationship blossomed. I always pick her up at the café she worked for. We started going to dinners. We went to a lot of places. We bonded over cycling, rock music and comedy gigs. She was perfect. And together, we were the wonderful couple.

One day, I took her for a vacation in New York City. We booked a room together in this fancy hotel suite. I think it was called Tar-rrump Towers. Something like that. She suggested it in anyway.

On the way to fetch her, I was stopped again by that snotty crossing guard who pulled me over.

"What's up officer?" I smooth-talked her. "How's the wild goose chase for me? I guess you're have t-raffic job stuck on your spot while trying to find me."

"Let's just settle this, Mr. Loud so I can let you go," the crossing guard insisted.

"You really have the ability to stop time with just your mime hands."

"Alright, alright. Fine." I pretended to search for my license. Look, I'm not a con artist but I just like playing with the only person who hates me in Royal Woods. "Hmmm, officer, license that my driver's ID is nowhere in my wallet."

"Don't play bluff on me."

"No really. I sense a hooligan tampering your post." And there it is for real, a hooligan barging into the crossing guard's station. She attempted to catch him. And finally, that became her distraction for me to escape from her. It was another sweet victory for Lynn Sr.! I don't know if she caught the guy. But who cares? Lynn Sr. the victor!

Finally, I arrived at Linda's house to see it different from the last time I visited her house. I knocked on the door and there she was, but with tears on her eyes. She took me in, but I was puzzled of what she was feeling. And as she offered me a seat on her dining table, she told me this: "Lynn, I know we've been together. And I really, really enjoyed our company to each other. But I was given a job opportunity at Cleveland. I could not refuse since my parents insisted me to help our business. I have no other choice."

"But baby, you could have fought for it."

"I know, but my mom gave me one thing. She said that if I could reach our quota, I could go back here and perhaps start my café here."

"That's great. Alright Linda, let's cast our vision. Make it there. Make it here. Our goal, for us together. Do you solemnly swear?"

"I solemnly swear, Lynn Loud Sr. Hopefully."

"This is hope."

"I will try to call you, or send letters to you."

"Baby, for us!"

"For us." With that, we toasted to a foreseeable, prosperous future. At that period, we thought we could make it together. So, we heavily relied on our aloof future fantasies.

Months go by, and I have not seen her. Sales were fine, but I felt a decline when the presence of other competitors popped out. I tried to wait for Linda to contact me but she never did.

Another months go by, and I was really desperate for her presence. Until one day, a letter was sent to my address. It was from Linda. I didn't remember the words, but one statement struck me. It said: "Now I realized that I was taken to another direction that I cannot turn back on, I wished to spend my life here. I had run a successful café here, and met a wonderful man. He was just like you, smooth, fun and free-spirited. We chose to spend our lives with each other. I am sorry about that, my dearest Lynn. I hope you can forgive. I will try to make it up to you, if I get to see you again. I will always cherish the times we had. And I hope you do too. I love you dearest. – Linda."

Of course, it was a letter confirming our separation. Naturally, I got depressed that day. She was my everything. And now, that everything got away. Everything went gray for me. And that annoying song "All By Myself" kept playing in my head.

That night, I retreated to a Ruby Tuesday, where I wallowed my sorrows with a strawberry milkshake.

"I…drink…my milkshake!" I kept uttering like a drunk guy, spouting references from the obvious movie I am referencing. "I…drink…my milkshake!"

I tried to get back up, but seeing everyone was on their casual business, I collapsed on the floor. Though, I didn't faint. I got up at once and, coincidences of coincidences, saw the crossing guard before on a red dress. I guessed that she was expecting a date. But as I stayed for a few moments, no guy has approached her yet. So I did instead for kicks.

"Well, well, well. Isn't it lady crossing guard…"

"You again. What do you want?"

"You just came to my hangout place."

"Your place, eh?"

"Mhmm."

"Is that why you drown yourself in milkshake? You got some on your chin."

"Oh." Then I wiped that milkshake stain from my chin. "It's what you call shaking off your stress. Get it?"

"Up for your

So, what brings you here?"

"I am currently waiting for my blind date."

"Oh, a blind date…"

"Yes, my idiot colleagues set me up for a date with whosoever like to meet me."

"Hmm, seems your Romeo drawing near."

"I think so. And they said he might be here on T-minus 10 seconds. So, if I were you, I get up that chair and move away for you to not meddle on my date, starting…now."

"Alright, if you insist." I got up from seat and moved to another, with a perfect vantage point at the crossing guard. Minutes went by, and still her date has not showed up.

Eventually, her blind date finally showed up, 45 minutes late. According to her, his profile stated that he is punctual and professional. However, those reports turned out to be false. And that he turned up because he needed a date to impress his friends. Disgusted, the lady guard walked out, infuriated. So, I caught up with her, not without taking a final gulp of the milkshake.

I hollered to her, "Hey lady, wait up!" Wait! Slow down."

"Go away. I need moment alone," she replied.

"Hey! Wait. You don't have to be this devastated."

"Okay, why I shouldn't be devastated? I took my job as a crossing guard very seriously so I can back up my special writing classes."

"You still study?"

"Learning is a lifetime. It's a government program, not like school. So there. I have been dedicated to my job that I excel on it. That's why my colleagues set me up on dates, thinking I am better off taking a break than serving for my town. Do you know how difficult it is?"

I was stunned by what she bolted out. Still, I understood her circumstance. So from this night, I vowed to be sympathetic over the life of that crossing guard, and probably other people as well.

Suddenly, she had her heels stuck at the pavement and she accidentally fell on me. I picked her up from there and made her sit on the pavement to budge out her heels.

"There you go." But her heels suddenly got loose. "I'll get that." I pulled out a superglue out of my pocket and placed it on the sides of the heel to stick it there once more.

"Wow. You're such a Boy Scout."

"I always stuck a superglue on my pocket. Knew I need it handy."

"Thanks anyway."

"My pleasure." We took a moment sitting by the pavements, thinking how we want our night to turn out. "Look, I know you are stressed. We all are. I tell you what. I will treat out for a corndog. And I can take you home."

"A corndog? Is that the best you can do?"

"Well, it's better than a wrapped dog or a rapping dog."

"Nahh, I promised myself I would never try processed foods, not even corndogs, ever."

Eventually she did. And after some intrusions, we walk to her apartment while she shares about her life.

"…You know, there's a reason why I joined the traffic patrol group. Needed some exposure in public service. And when the time comes, I could write a novel about that."

"Yeah, you could do a story about meter maid who has to prove herself on solving a case about missing animals with her sly sidekick. And throw in lessons about discrimination and stuff like that."

"That could be a good story idea."

"I doubt it."

"Who knows for about the next ten years?"

Finally, we arrived at her apartment. She told she just rents a room. So, we exchanged goodbyes.

"Well, thanks for taking me here."

"Yeah, uhmm, so see you."

"Yeah, you too. Hope I don't bump into you again and give you a warning."

"I will be trying. If not doing it." As soon as she walked towards the door, I asked this out, "Hey, uhmm, if you're not too busy and if your colleagues aren't too busy bugging you, maybe I can take you out for lunch, or dinner maybe?"

She was too hesitant to answer. It is just a classic to see her this unsure. "I'll see. Just turn up in the same crossing. I'll tell you. Oh, and sorry about your breakup with your girlfriend."

"Thanks though. Haven't catch your name by the way."

"It's Rita."

"Rita."

"Well, have a pleasant night Lynn Loud Sr."

With that, she entered her apartment. And I walked home with satisfaction inside. Never knew I needed that to recover from the depression I am feeling. I just felt like smiling after that, never realizing that that will be the start of a very good friendship.

"And that is how I met your mother, kids," Lynn Sr. finally concludes his story to Lola, Lana, Lisa and Lily, who are there for a dinner date this Valentine's Day. "So, what do you think?"

"Can you next time use fewer words than that, dad?" Lana persuades, "It gets longer and longer."

"Sheesh, and I thought journals about advanced logarithm would be longer," Lisa comments.

"I don't care if it's boring or what. I just want to hear mom and dad's love story all over," Lola shares.

"Glad you still like it, Lola," Lynn Sr. utters.

"What did I missed here?" Rita suddenly turns up from behind Lynn Sr.

"Oh honey, I was just wrapping up telling the story of how we met each other."

"Did he told you the part that when we got chased by a dog?" Rita asks her children.

"Never heard that part before," Lana utters.

"Well, we did. And we latched on a fence for about an hour."

"And the dog bit my trousers," Lynn Sr, adds.

With that, Rita pinches her husband's cheeks. "Aww, you sweet thing."

Just seeing this priceless sweet moment from their parents makes the younger sisters say, "Aww…"

"Well, kids, main course is coming. But first, why don't we have chocolate appetizer first?"

Hearing that makes the kids (and Lynn Sr.) exclaim in joy, just to build a wonderful Valentine's night for the Louds.