Greco Direct
By Dixxy
It was a normal day in the shrines. Most of the inhabitants were- as usual- dead quiet, leaving only the two caretakers and a few visitors to their own devices. The small girl was arranging some flowers outside, leaving the former wrestler inside the small hut they called home.
Greco was busy lifting weights, humming to himself as he did. Greco liked to hum- it relaxed him and helped him concentrate on lifting the barbells. And so, the tune of a very off-key and off-pitch "Mary Had a Little Lamb" filled the small hut as the exorcist continued with his exercises.
Okay, so perhaps an off-key and off-pitch version of "Mary Had a Little Lamb" is a bit stupid, but are YOU going to argue with a 6'7" ex-wrestler who weighs in at 271 lb. over his choice of songs to hum to himself?! Of course not. But if you do, please note that it would be in my favor. I GOT SEVEN BUCKS AND THE ENTIRE MALE CAST OF MAGIC KNIGHT RAYEARTH ON THE LINE!!!
Um. . . back to the fic. . .
So, anyways, Greco was minding his own business when his phone rang.
RING! RING!
"I wonder who that could be?" Greco wondered aloud. He stood and calmly walked to his telephone. He picked up the phone, cleared his throat. "¡Hola! Este es Greco hablando. ¿Comó está?"
On the other end of the line, he heard what sounded like- to the best of his knowledge- a pot head. "Yo, dude, like, can you really save me fifteen-percent or more on car insurance, dude?"
Greco pulled the phone away and stared at it oddly. "What the hell? NO!" And he slammed the phone down back into the receiver, muttering to himself about how stupid pot heads were. He shook his head and went back to where he was meditatin.
RING! RING!
Sighing, Greco went back to the phone. "Hello?"
This time, it was a 30's style ganster. "Nyah, you see here, nyah! I heard yous could save me fifteen percent or more on car insurance, nyah! So you see, nyah, you're going to get me my-"
Greco hung up the phone quickly again. What the hell was going on?
RING! RING!
"Hello?"
"Howdy, y'all! Can you fellers really save may fifteen pur-cent er more on-"
CLICK!
RING! RING!
"Top of the mornin' to you, laddie! Can you save me fifteen-"
CLICK!
RING! RING!
A string of random tongue-clicking noises.
CLICK!
RING! RING!
"NEE! The Knights who say NEE want to know if you can really save us fifteen-"
CLICK!
RING! RING!
"Is Amanda Hugginkissme in the house? Moe? Hell-o?! MOE! ARE YOU THERE! AYE CURUMBA! I'M ASKING FOR YOU TO FIND AMANDA HUGGINKISSME!!! C'MON YOU MORON- Is this even Moe's Bar? Oh, sorry, wrong number. Later man."
. . . click.
RING! RING!
"BWAHAHA!! Can you save me fifteen percent or more-"
CLICK!
RING! RING!
"STOP IT! STOP IT!" At this point Greco was on the verge of a mental meltdown. He was needlessly running around the hut screaming his head off as he began to claw at the walls. "STOP CALLING ME! I CAN'T SAVE YOU FIFTEEN PERCENT OR MORE ON CAR INSURANCE!!! I DON'T EVER KNOW A DAMN THING ABOUT CAR INSURANCE!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"
KNOCK-KNOCK.
Greco heard the sound of the knock, stopped screaming, and answered the door.
Outside of the door stood none other than Pip, a little toy car in his paws. He held the car up to Greco, gently bouncing as always. "Can you save me fifteen pewcent ow mowe on caw insuwance?"
The next thing Pip saw was a Greco-shaped hole in the opposite wall.
~
To save 15% or more on car insurance, call 1-800-Greco-Direct.
~
Yeah, I know they don't have phones in Chrono Cross. And I know they don't have cars either. Hey, if SHAKESPEARE can use an anachronism then I sure as hell will, too! So there! Nyah!
This fic is pure, unaltered fluff.
I still need two more reviews for Thick as Thieves
.~Dixxy